Chichiri started off his torment lightly, careful not to give away the game immediately. He used his tricks to make things appear under Amiboshi's feet constantly, mostly stones, thorns and the occasional scorpion. Nothing that would really hurt him, but it would make his life miserable while he persisted in following them. The boy ended up doing so many face-plants that he ended up knocking himself out, which resulted in Tamahome carrying him again, much to the seishi's irritation.
That evening, Kenshin took his turn. After everyone else was asleep, he snuck out of his sleeping bag and over to where Amiboshi was sleeping some distance from everyone else. Using finely ground up bread crust, he made a short trail from the sleeping teenager's bed to the nearest anthill. While the red ants followed the bait to their newest chew toy, Kenshin snuck back to his bed. The poor Seiryu seishi was swarmed quickly, all of the ants biting him at the same time when he rolled over.
With a scream that could wake the dead, but surprisingly not Tasuki, Amiboshi leapt to his feet and did a weird little dance through the darkness as he tried to brush the biting ants off of him. Nuriko, who was by no means a morning person and was apparently very cranky when you woke him up at three in the morning for no good reason, threw him into a nearby stream in an attempt to either help him or shut him up.
Chichiri retaliated the following morning, unwilling to be shown up. Using his staff and a series of quick spells muttered under his breath, he managed to convince every male rodent within a hundred miles that Amiboshi smelled like a female in heat. Now, you haven't lived a full life until you've seen a hyped up, horny ass squirrel use someone's head like a racetrack while the owner of said noggin runs around like a maniac until colliding with a tree at roughly mach two. This, naturally, knocked Amiboshi out yet again.
Tired of carrying him and not willing to be attacked by the small herd of rodents following the downed teen, Tamahome wrapped a rope around Amiboshi's ankles and simply dragged him until he woke up again. That action resulted in dirt packing in places that most people don't want to know about, which included just about every opening on the human body. Until then, it was a veritable field day for the swarming rodents.
It took Kenshin a few hours to think of something to top that. It was difficult to think of anything that could scar the boy as badly as being mugged by a horny bunny. He finally settled on a plan, keeping his eyes affixed to the ground and surrounding vegetation as he walked. Passing close to a tree, he swiped something off of the trunk and pocketed it. Chichiri saw the movement and raised one eyebrow in question. He learned what the redhead was up to that night when the midget casually slipped something into Amiboshi's food before handing it to him. The addition turned out to be a stink beetle, which the blond was unfortunate enough to find with his teeth. The Seiryu spy ran off to retch, quite loudly, in the nearby bushes.
"We'll reach the village tomorrow," Hotohori said to the group, trying to distract himself from the rather disgusting noises coming from the bushes.
"Think he'll last that long?" Tamahome asked, watching in bemusement as Amiboshi ran away from the bush, trying his best to dig an amorous field mouse out of his shirt. Chichiri's spell was still in full effect.
"Think we'll last that long?" Nuriko paraphrased. He looked a bit disturbed by the latest events.
"What the hell's goin' on, anyways?" Tasuki asked the group at large.
"I can only wonder," Hotohori said, giving Chichiri and Kenshin a dirty look. The two bubbleheads grinned, knowing they had been caught. They didn't look repentant in the slightest. He opened his mouth to question them, but was cut off by Kenshin.
"One moment, de gozaru," Kenshin said, sticking out his sheathed sword to catch Amiboshi across the ankles, tripping him at a carefully calculated angle that ended with his head impacting into the nearest tree.
"Now that you've succeeded in scrambling his brains, again, would you care to explain?" Hotohori asked.
"You guys are doing this?" Tamahome interrupted, surprised.
"Any reason you're undermining our efforts to summon Suzaku?" Nuriko asked, popping his knuckles.
"Glad I wasn't the target," Tasuki mumbled.
Kenshin waited for them to quiet down before answering, ignoring the impending violence towards his person.
"He's not a Suzaku seishi, de gozaru," Kenshin said. The response was unanimous.
"WHAT?"
"He's a Seiryu spy, no da," Chichiri answered.
"The way we see it, as long as he thinks he's spying on us, we can keep him away from Kutou and Seiryu can't be summoned, de gozaru."
"And you're torturing him, why exactly?" Hotohori asked.
"Because we can, de gozaru."
"He started it, no da," Chichiri supported. He and Kenshin exchanged mischievous looks and burst out laughing.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Tasuki demanded. "We could've helped you."
"You should have informed us that we had an enemy in our midst," Hotohori said. "We could have been in danger!"
"From that?" Kenshin asked incredulously, prodding the concussed, ant-bitten, skunk-sprayed, squirrel-humped, twitching mass known as Amiboshi.
"Kenshin has a point, no da."
"So if this guy's the enemy, why are we helpin' him?" Tasuki asked.
Kenshin rolled his eyes. "Because if we don't, he'll know that we've discovered who he is, de gozaru."
"The longer we can keep him occupied, the better, no da," Chichiri added.
"And that involves torturing him, apparently," Tamahome said sarcastically.
"It's only what he deserves, de gozaru," Kenshin interjected. Hotohori sighed and shook his head in resignation.
"We'll take turns standing guard tonight," the emperor said. He held up one hand before the two bubbleheads could protest. "I don't care if you think he's dangerous or not. We can't take that risk. We'll split up the duty and start north again at sunrise."
"I'll take first watch, na no da," Chichiri piped up helpfully.
"I'll take second, de gozaru," Kenshin added.
All of the seishi sweat-dropped. With the two lunatics standing guard, there would be no sleep for anyone involved. Amiboshi's screaming would see to that. A quick tally of volunteers had Nuriko taking the third shift, Tamahome the fourth, Hotohori the fifth and Tasuki the final. Even if they expected Amiboshi to regain consciousness anytime in the near future, they'd not have allowed him to stand guard since he was the one being watched.
Kenshin and Chichiri ended up taking the first two shifts together. With the amount of noise they made between them, a combination of giggling and cries of pain from their victim, the other seishi were forced to stuff moss in their ears to get some sleep.
* * *
It had taken a lot of arm wrenching on Saito's part, but he had eventually learned that the twins Amiboshi and Suboshi shared a strange bond that allowed them to communicate with each other over long distances. When one was hurt, the other seemed to mirror the wound, even if in sensation only. At first, Saito had been horrendously amused when Suboshi's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed. After a few hours, it grew old when the teenager would leap around and squall for absolutely no reason, flapping various limbs as though in horrible pain.
Never one to be dense, it didn't take Saito more than a few seconds after the first faint to know that Amiboshi had been discovered. The constant torture inflicted on the distant youth was more than enough evidence to tell him that not only did Kenshin know who he was, but the little redhead was having fun with the information. He was waiting to see how long it would take the Seiryu seishi to figure it out as well, too evil to tell them himself.
He grudgingly gave Nakago some credit for brains. The blond seemed to understand that the boy was in enemy hands as well. But, being just as sick of a bastard as Saito himself, he didn't bother to tell Suboshi either. Nakago did look a bit concerned when Suboshi curled up into a little ball and rocked back and forth, repeating to himself over and over, "The bunnies are coming to get me."
"What could possibly be scary about a bunny?" Nakago muttered to himself. Nearby, Saito heard the rhetorical question and answered it anyways.
"I don't know, but I'm sure that Himura is behind it," Saito answered casually.
"What's wrong with bunnies?" a new voice asked. Suboshi looked at the new person, shrieked at the top of his lungs and ran for his life.
As one, Saito and Nakago turned to look at whatever had frightened the teenager. Eyes bugging out, they both followed Suboshi's example and ran. Left in their wake was Tomo, wearing bunny ears, a strap on bunny tail and absolutely nothing else. The crossdresser smirked at their retreating forms.
"This is almost too easy."
To Be Continued…
Sorry about the delay. I was occupied and completely forgot that I hadn't been posting on anything. A couple of people reviewed and someone even emailed me before my dead brain was jogged. R&R!