Tremble,
Trust and Truth
by – dinobot
Tremble: to feel fear or anxiety.
Trust: firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
Truth: sincerity; integrity.
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A boy sat on a smooth rock firmly established on a beach. The grainy sand covered along the straight of land, the foaming water rolling out from its infinite dwelling forgiving any imperfections afflicted by the visitors. From the innocent buildings of a small child to the pairs of young lover's feet and their indentions upon their path, the merciful crystal water graciously gave amnesty to all. The small waves softly roared to the shore, always reliable and consistent. In the day's final hour all scars, indiscretions, and faults were perfectly restored to its beautiful smooth genesis.
The young boy stared out into the sea. He sat on the rock not daring to touch the sand; he felt it deserved to be preserved from his interference. The sun lazily sank lower and lower, igniting the cotton candy clouds drifting drowsily in the distance and dying. The boy sighed, feeling the salty wind separating his clumped hair. They gently waived caressing the air for gratitude. The boy briefly closed his eyes and then reopened them to the fire-lit sky. He smirked. He felt calm; he felt at peace.
The peace was ended by a young girl walking along the shore, leaving a trail of footprints behind her. The boy looked quickly forward then sunk his head attempting to disappear. The girl's marks on the sand remained; her chaotic mind preventing such help to be applied. She broke her concentration as she slowly passed the young boy. A shivering boy; a familiar boy.
She looked deep into his eyes. Her hair remained stiff on her scalp, refusing to accept the air's invitation. She kicked a few million grains of sand in the direction of the boy and his dancing hair.
"Ash?" She weakly squeaked as if using her vocal chords were of rare opportunity. The boy's eyes rose.
"Umm, hi" he responded. She fixated her eyes on his feeling intimidated by his calm demeanor.
"It's me. Misty" she softly placed her hand on her chest. She smiled, but quickly retracted it when the gesture was not reciprocated. The boy revealed a tiny smirk unearthed by the sunlight.
"Yeah, I know, I know" he chuckled. The awkwardness dare not enter with Ash to destroy it.
"How are you?" He asked.
The smile quickly disappeared from her face. She remained blank; staring into the sand moving it with her toes. But the smile never left Ash's face.
"I'm—okay" Misty finally responded.
"How's school?" he asked.
Misty tilted her head from side to side, "It's—okay."
Ash laughed slightly leaning forward to her.
"You said that already," he chuckled. Misty gave an abrupt giggle running her fingers through her hair to clump them together. The strands liquefied into the sky. The hue of her hair and the blazing sunset resembled each other perfectly. Ash placed his hand on the rock wanting a better grip on his stronghold.
"Sorry," she apologized. "It's fine, really. I'm almost done with school. I'm finishing at the top of all my classes."
"Good job," Ash congratulated her. Misty's countenance briefly resembled the vermillion sunset as she softly leaned closer to him.
"I knew you could do it," Ash smiled at her. She slightly blushed again, thanking him under her breath.
"When are you going to be done?" Ash asked.
"In a couple months, I'll be done with school!" She softly rose.
"I'm proud of you," Ash said. "You know, there was never a doubt in my mind you would do well in school. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you," Misty smiled, adorably rubbing her teeth with her tongue.
"I suppose you're going back home to Cerulean, and try to find a job there, right?" Ash inquired. He did not see Misty subtly shudder or release a deep sigh.
But Ash did not have to see her tremble or hear her sigh. He knew the images and memories opening within her mind. Misty's eyes lifted and connected with his, her expression grew almost asking him why he triggered such an explosion of haunting thoughts. Ash knew, showing regret in his apologizing look. She accepted his offer.
"Is that why you're out here?" Ash asked. Misty looked down to the sand near Ash's rock. It did not resemble in the same perfection sustained before her arrival. Her feet dug into the grains, disrupting the perfection. "Are you thinking about your family?" he intently inquired.
Misty halted, finding it odd to be bombarded by so many of Ash's properly targeted questions. But she did not feel like she was being pried open, exposing her burdensome thoughts bare and stricken as they are. Even if Ash's inquiries are a sincere attempt to open her heart to him, she felt herself barracked, guarding against no apparent enemy. She nodded.
"Are you okay?" he asked her.
She felt compelled to vaguely respond in her normal fashion, but consciously stopped. Ash's soothing voice sobered her. She stared into his eyes and then to his arms, still clutching to his cool smooth stone. She softly shook her head.
"Are you still having problems with them?"
Misty felt reluctant to respond. Ash certainly was not prepared to talk about the overwhelming accumulated problems she possessed with her family: the coldness of her sisters and the festering wounds only worsening with time.
"You don't want to get into that," she told him.
"I don't?"
"Yes," she assured him.
"I'm the one asking you; maybe it's you who doesn't want to get into it," he frankly replied.
Misty was struck breathless. His response caught her off guard. The words pierced her like a bright light refracting the clear multi-faceted prism of her heart.
"It's okay," Ash reassured her. "I don't want you to feel or share anything uncomfortable, because we haven't seen each other in years."
The same light emitting from this mouth illuminated Misty. She felt his sincerity genuine and true, something lost in her life. She quickly tried to think of another source of the same luminous attitude and truth. She did; it was him. The boy she left so many years ago. Misty wondered why the light did not diminish with time. She left the thought proceeding with the conversation.
"No, it's okay. It's just they're the same people I left to get away from."
Ash tilted his head. "You thought they would change?"
"I knew they would change!" Misty responded more forcefully stamping her feet, engraving her aggravated signature into the sand.
"—but they didn't, did they?" Ash calmly asked.
She shook her head. "No," she softly whispered. "It didn't work. I thought if I gave them enough time they would grow up. Start being better people. Start--"
"—treating you right?" Ash finished her.
Misty twitched, slightly annoyed to the piercing light making her barracks transparent like he can she straight through her walls. Ash did not wait for a response. He knew the truth.
"They're still you're family," he added.
"They're people I can't trust!" Misty shouted as a small tear furiously slid down her cheek. "Ash, you don't understand!" she protested. "You have a family you can trust! You don't understand what its like! You think family is synonymous with words like 'trust' and 'love,' but its not for me!"
"Misty…" Ash's voice soothed her. He grasped the rock he rested on, the rock so large and welcoming because he was apart of it showing the same gentle attitude all her life. Rising from it he took his hand softly wiping away the tear staining her cheek. He caressed her sorrow into the air warmly smiling away all the imperfection of her saddened face, restoring it to its beauty. Misty smiled feeling the warmth from his skin and relaxed in his touch. She shut her eyes enjoying every second of it.
"I understand, perfectly," he told her. "But you're wrong, even though I have a loving family I know not are all like that. I understand how hard it is to have love in a family, but not being able to trust them."
Misty agreeing with his statement slightly rested her forehead on his chest.
"Trust makes me tremble, makes me twitch," she whispered to him.
"And with good reason too," Ash said. "It's understandable for a person to feel this way in your situation. You can't trust them because they've disappointed you so many times, and probably why you don't trust anyone else."
Misty lifted her head up, her sparkling eyes meeting his. "How do you know that?" she quietly asked.
Ash crept closer to her body hearing her sobs between the waves. Ash gave a smooth long shush calming her, parting her hair from her face. The hairs broke into their own strains immediately as Ash touched them. They fell apart forfeiting their hardened state finally allowing the wind to lovingly conform them. They shared their loving embrace amid the restless sunset.
"You can't rely on yourself through life, Misty" he told her. She let him speak. Every word releasing a new perspective in her mind. Not a perspective of harsh bitterness, false pretenses, or cold judgment but of understanding and refreshment.
"There's something I've come to realize, and that is you can't only rely on yourself. There are people that think that modestly and reliance is a sign of weakness, do you think that?"
"Sometimes…" she whispered, knowing the half-resolved answer was supposed to be a shouldered agreement.
"But its not," he assured her. "It doesn't mean you're a weak person. It means you're a strong person."
"How?" Misty choked. The imperative search of being a strong woman vacated her life, reducing to a guessing game and what she was taught. Taught by terrible role-models with no dignity or self-respect, something which inevitably etched itself into her heart.
"Misty, being a humble person means you know you're limitations, you know you're boundaries. It shows you know what you can and can't do. If you rely on others and specifically put your dependence on the right people you become a strong person. If you trust in Him and cultivate humility, you have Him on your side and only then can you become truly strong."
"I remember," Misty said gazing into Ash's brown eyes wrapping her arms neatly around him. She felt the warmth she did not experience since he told her the same comforting words long ago.
Ash smiled at her. "My offer still stands. It never was withdrawn. I still want to help you, Misty. I still want to show you the things that make me happy, that make me smile."
Misty shut her eyes, forcing another tear fall. All evidence guided her to believe what he was saying was true. But she refused be disappointed again, not by the person she loved more than anyone. Ash is human; he couldn't possibly keep the things he promised fully. No one can. Misty found herself redundantly starting the same cycle running in her head. The same cycle that ultimately shut others out making her heart hard. It indeed seemed like Misty reached the same stubborn conclusion.
But as if Ash could peer deep into her kidneys (her deepest thoughts) and her heart (her inner person), he placed a small kiss on her forehead. Misty smiled; it was as sweet as cotton candy.
"I'm not asking you to trust in me. Even I can let you down, I am human too. I'm asking you to trust--"
"—I know, I know," she finished him tilting her head up kissing him delicately on the lips. She felt his hands embraced her body as she did the same. The chaos of her thoughts was submerged by the sounds of the steady waves. As Ash and Misty broke their warm kiss Misty contently looked into Ash's eyes again finally sharing in his peaceable spirit. Misty took his hand both climbing back onto their stronghold; their rock. Ash sat holding her tight, whispering a three word sentence into her ear. She rested her head on his chest softly echoing the words.
"I love you too. Thank you."
The tide rose, consuming Misty's rigid path from her trek and perfected it. The gnashed sand forged from her frustration and apprehension vanished, collapsing neatly on itself. The waves forgivingly washed away the past of hurt and pain sketched by both of them. Ash and Misty sat together both holding on to each other and their stronghold, the rock they took refuge in. They watched the blazing sunset drift farther away and finally vanish as the breeze calmingly combed the stubbornness from their hair. Misty smiled not bothering to recount the hurtful memories she possessed. She closed her eyes falling asleep to the sound of the rolling waves soothing her mind of past sins.
They would have to eventually leave the rock and disrupt the harmony of the grains leaving a trail of footsteps behind, but she knew they would be covered by the reliable waves. All she had to do is trust that they would---and she did.
end
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Pr. 3:5, 6
"Once I wanted to be the greatest, perfect and flawless. Then I figured out I didn't ever need to be. All I ever had to do is comb the stubbornness out of my hair and attempt my best. That and an injection of about 323422 ml of humility." - dai