Chapter 10:
Everyone was starting to take notice of Ikkaku's distracted behavior. Earlier, they had been called out of the Seireitei to deal with a small group of Hollows and Ikkaku wasn't his usual self in battle, getting easily overwhelmed and suffered minor injuries. He had to rely on the others to pick up the slack and afterward suffer their beratement. Yumichika showed concern without scorn, thinking there was something actually wrong with his friend, but Ikkaku insisted he was fine.
"It's not like you to get tossed around like that," Yumichika went on after their return. "Those Hollows should have been no problem for you. Even the Captain didn't want to be bothered with this."
"Yeah, yeah." Ikkaku would have felt embarrassed if the Captain had seen him in such a state but oddly enough, he found himself not caring how the Captain saw him. His opinion no longer mattered to him.
"I could use a nice hot soak. What do you think, Ikkaku? Could do your body well after all that. Might make those bumps and bruises feel better."
He hardly noticed the pain. He felt so empty. No, not completely. He was still searching for something. He didn't know what it was but he felt as if he were constantly searching for something or someone.
He rubbed his neck as the feeling swelled within him again.
Yumichika stretched. "Well, I'm heading for the bath. You coming?"
"Huh? Uh, maybe later."
Yumichika looked at him with concern. "Are you alright?" He felt his forehead. "You don't have a fever. Maybe you're still not feeling well from the other day."
Ikkaku shrugged his hand away and sighed, looking at the ground as they walked. Everyone knew he wasn't himself anymore, even Yumichika. Of course, he would realize it. There was no hiding something like this from the man who knew him best.
He didn't join Yumichika in the bath, instead wandering aimlessly around the Seireitei until he got hungry. He picked at his food and whatever he didn't eat, Yumichika finished for him.
This feeling of emptiness. Aimless searching. Lack of motivation, of will, anything. Everything seemed so pointless. He wasn't depressed. That much he was sure of, but he couldn't figure out this feeling and he wanted it to end. Something was telling him he was meant to do something but what?
Ikkaku sighed again and looked out the window, unable to do anything else.
"Is it done yet?" Shinji asked.
"Almost," said Hisagi.
"Ready now?"
"Just a minute." He smiled. "There. Finished."
Shinji stared hungrily at the food Hisagi prepared for him and Hitsugaya. He needed them around because the last two times he tried cooking food, he ended up eating everything before he could assemble it. Sticky rice in one hand and fish in the other, he just shoved everything into his mouth before it could be made into a rice ball. Working together, they were able to control each other until the food was properly prepared and not just separate bowls of ingredients.
It wasn't anything fancy. Just grilled meat and rice and some sandwiches. Hisagi knew the meat had to be cooked but he wanted to eat it raw and Hitsugaya had to stop him, able to control himself better than they could.
With everything prepared and lined up on plates, the trio gathered around and stared at the food, taking it all in. Hisagi and Shinji were both drooling but didn't reach for anything in front of them. Hitsugaya had to initiate the first move. After grabbing a sandwich and taking the first bite, suddenly the other two remembered how to move and dove upon the food like beasts. Everything was gone in a matter of minutes.
"Thanks for helping me, guys," said Hisagi. "I'd have eaten it all if you guys hadn't coached me."
"It was hard for me to resist, too," said Shinji. "You're putting me in front of a table of food and telling me not to eat anything."
"I figured we could help each other. It's been impossible to cook because I eat everything before I can make it. Even something as simple as a sandwich. I eat the bread and the cheese before I can combine them. Nothing makes it to the plate."
Hitsugaya understood their purpose for being there but he wondered why, after everything was complete, no one tried to eat anything before he did. He suspected several possibilities but every one of them had flaws. He decided to talk to Akon about this later.
"Are we going to be ok doing our duties?" asked Shinji. "I'm scheduled to run drills with the Squad tomorrow and today I'm overseeing some of the training."
"Just keep calm and you won't change in front of people," offered Hitsugaya.
"I'm meaning more of resisting the urge to chase them when they run. Or during combat practice. What if I go into attack mode when someone comes at me?"
"You'll probably be fine."
"Probably?"
"What if we get called out to a Hollow attack?" asked Hisagi. "Squad 11 had to do that today. Are we going to be ok in battle?"
"Unless it's a big deal, you probably won't have to go out there and fight. The other Squad members will. And we haven't had too many attacks recently and nothing a few unseated members can't handle," said Hitsugaya.
Hisagi still looked nervous. No one was certain how being a werewolf would affect their combat abilities. Even Hitsugaya was uncertain.
After eating and a short discussion, the trio went their separate ways until that evening when they would all meet up in the woods to do some werewolf training.
On his way back to the office, Hitsugaya overheard some Soul Reapers gossiping and picked up enough key words to snare his interest.
"Can you believe it?"
"I know. That poor girl. Was she attacked?"
"Must have been. They found her on the floor unconscious."
"Who would do something like that?"
"She must have surprised a thief."
"A thief in the sickbay? What on Earth would they steal? Cotton swabs or bandages?"
"The storage locker for blood transfusions was open and several bags were missing."
"Who would steal blood packs?"
Hitsugaya grew alarmed. Byakuya was already going for transfusion bags to quench his thirst. Unlike before, however, this time he had a nurse on the inside to help him. It was better than killing her but Hitsugaya wasn't sure what to expect from a nurse slave. It would be easier to help him get blood, that much was certain but if people discovered that she was responsible and confronted her about it, she could take drastic measures to keep the secret as Ikkaku had in his dream.
Unsure of how he felt about this, Hitsugaya kept the information to himself for now while he sorted through his options.
It was getting late and several Soul Reapers called it a day to go out for drinks. Yumichika invited Ikkaku to join him but he declined the offer.
"It might do you some good, Ikkaku," he insisted. "You haven't been yourself lately. Maybe we should get drunk and start fresh in the morning. What do you say?"
Ikkaku sighed. "I don't know… I'm just not feeling it."
"You haven't been 'feeling it' all day. And yesterday, too. It's like you've lost something. You're so apathetic. No, worse than that. You're just a big blah."
"Sorry," he said meekly.
"Well, if drinks don't interest you, then what? There must be something."
"I'm not really feeling up for anything. Maybe I'll just go to bed."
"The sun only just set. You're calling it a day this early?"
"I'm just empty, Yumichika. I don't feel like talking about it. I think I'd like to go to bed."
Yumichika sighed heavily with his hands on his hips. "I can't believe what's gotten into you. Or out of you. Did you hit your head when you fell that night? They did find you on the floor of the dojo."
"I don't know. I…"
He stopped. Something moved into view from a different street and the sight made his heart skip a beat.
Before him was the Captain of Squad 6 and he was walking home from the office alone. It was so menial, and all he was doing was walking at his usual pace, but it was such a splendiferous sight to behold for Ikkaku. Byakuya carried himself with such grace and poise that commanded respect and provoked an adoration Ikkaku had never felt before.
He could not look away. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and was still over too soon. He kept Byakuya in his sight for as long as he could, even leaning closer as Byakuya started to leave his sight, continuing on his way.
He paid him no mind but Ikkaku felt this instant connection.
This feeling igniting within him… This sense of duty… It filled him in an instant and he understood at last what he was searching for.
Byakuya Kuchiki was his purpose.
Before Byakuya could fade completely from sight, a hand waved itself in front of his face. "Whoo-hoo, Ikkaku. Still with me?"
That was so obnoxious of Yumichika, to distract him so. He simply had to keep Byakuya in his sight. Now that he discovered his purpose, he aimed to fulfill it.
"I'll catch up with you," he told Yumichika, walking in the direction Byakuya had left. "I just remembered something I have to do."
"Well, alright, then. I'll catch up later," Yumcihika said hesitantly, getting a sense Ikkaku barely knew he was still there.
Ikkaku followed Byakuya down the street at a distance but made sure he was never out of sight, even for a second. Anytime they neared an intersection, he would pick up the pace just in case Byakuya turned.
He felt so strange. Being this close to Byakuya excited him. He could feel his body growing warmer by the second. His heart was pounding in his chest. He wondered if he was blushing. He didn't care if he was. Not because he didn't care how he looked; he just didn't care.
Byakuya turned down a different street and as Ikkaku turned to follow was surprised to find Byakuya facing him. Startled, he jolted and stood frozen where he was. He could feel his face changing color now.
"Following me, Ikkaku?" Byakuya asked in a sultry tone than made Ikkaku's legs feel weak. Byakuya had never spoken to him like this before.
"I… I…" Ikkaku couldn't speak. He knew he should say something but couldn't no matter how hard he tried.
Byakuya moved closer. "It's alright. Having you near bring me great pleasure."
"It… It does?"
He nodded, licking his lips. "I fancy a snack about this time."
Ikkaku quivered at Byakuya's tone, both men knowing this wasn't like him. Ikkaku never quivered. He put a hand over his heart, hoping to muffle its beating as it began to pump even faster.
"Cap… Captain K- Kuchiki…" Ikkaku swallowed hard before attempting to speak again.
"Yes?" he asked coquettishly, a slight hiss in his voice.
Ikkaku could barely stand. Byakuya was overwhelming him. His could actually feel his blood pumping throughout his entire body and it made him dizzy. He felt so hot.
"Was there something you wanted, Ikkaku? Speak."
He tried hard to speak and not collapse. "Captain Kuchiki, I… I…" He didn't know what to say. What could he possibly tell this wonderful man? This incredible specimen of excellence and sublimity.
"Come here, Ikkaku," Byakuya told him and Ikkaku automatically stepped forward, compelled to obey. Byakuya's arms enveloped him and Ikkaku felt at peace. Then a sharp pain in his neck caused him to hiss inwardly and tense up.
A new feeling washed over Ikkaku in that moment. A feeling he had never experienced.
As the blood was pulled from his neck and swallowed, Ikkaku felt at one with Byakuya. He was a provider and resource all in one. He was food and therefore important to this man he dare call master.
Yes, this was his purpose. Byakuya gave him a sense of belonging he had never felt to such an extent before this moment. He was content.
Ikkaku returned the embrace and rested his head on Byakuya's shoulder, never wanting to leave his side.
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