Chapter 19:

It was getting late in the day and, feeling restless, Shinji thought about leaving early to go for a run in the woods. In daylight, he ran the risk of someone seeing him, but he doubted many Soul Reapers would be near the forest.

The close call with his friends was still on his mind and he was seriously considering biting them just to keep them safe. He refrained but the temptation was still there.

"Shinji, why the look?"

He glanced up and saw Rangiku walking down the hall. "Just thinking about stuff."

"Something wrong?" she asked with concern.

"Nah. Just thinking."

She patted him on the head. "Aw, well, perk up. It's almost quitting time. I've got plans, but maybe next time you can tag along. Could always use a new drinking buddy."

She had such a nice touch. Shinji leaned, following her hand as it left his head and nearly fell over. He shook himself and watched her leave. He liked being pet.

He cocked his head, sniffing. Puzzled, he continued on his way to Hitsugaya's office.

"But you didn't, right?" Hitsugaya asked, looking up from his desk.

"No, I didn't bite them. I was tempted to but I didn't."

"Good," he said. "It's hard enough keeping the three of us under control. We don't need more. Too much attention, and we'd have to explain things to them, probably get an argument..."

Shinji looked over his shoulder towards the door. "Say… Does Rangiku smell different to you lately?"

"I haven't noticed."

"I suppose you wouldn't. She'd have to be here in order for you to notice."

Hitsugaya finished signing the last of the paperwork and shot him a look as he placed it on the pile. He was already aware of how little time his Lieutenant spent in the office and didn't need to be reminded.

"Maybe it's the garlic. Or a new perfume."

"Again, I haven't noticed."

Shinji shrugged. "She smells nice is all." Maybe he was only noticing it now because of his heightened senses.

Hitsugaya put his pen down and stretched. "Finished," he announced.

"Wanna duck out early and go for a run?"

Hitsugaya shook his head. "No. I have a couple things I need to take care of before leaving. And remember, it's a full moon tomorrow. I want to have all the preparations done before then."

"Don't have time during the day?"

"I'm not sure how we'll be during the day." Hitsugaya stood up and walked around the side of his desk. "I know you don't like me comparing what's going on now to a dream I had days ago, but… We may be hungrier than usual tomorrow. It wouldn't hurt to stock up on food just in case."

Shinji nodded. "I suspected our wolf half might grow more predominate during the day of the full moon. All I know is that during a full moon, we can't help but change. That's been consistent no matter the source, so I think we can presume it to be fact at this point. As far as everything else is concerned, that's up in the air. Don't know if we'll lose control or what's going to happen."

"I'm not sure either, which is why we need to be careful. Let's tire ourselves out tonight and eat as much food as we can tomorrow. And we're sticking with the arrangements."

"Meeting in the forest before sunset."

"Correct. I think it would be a waste of time to try locking ourselves in our rooms. We might not remember why we're doing that to ourselves and get confused. Also, let's say we do become feral. Someone's going to hear us making a lot of noise and come investigate."

"If that happens, we could either attack them, or escape," said Shinji. "Or, they could attack us. There's also the possibility of them just locking the door on us to keep us inside until they figure out what to do. Come morning, they'll find us and might make the connection. I doubt that, since if I found a wolf in someone's room, I'd try to get rid of it as soon as possible. Which poses a problem for us."

"Right. We don't know what they'd do to us. Might cage us, release us or kill us." Hitsugaya sighed. "That's why it might be best if we leave before sunset and wait it out in the forest. That way, if we do lose our minds and become wild, we'll be in our natural habitat. Nothing wrong with wolves running wild in the forest. Big problem in the barracks."

"You think we'll stay there all night?" asked Shinji, wondering if they'd wander back to the buildings at some point.

"We feel more comfortable in the woods as wolves. I don't think there's any risk of that. Unless something drives us towards the buildings. Not sure what would because we'll all be together and have everything we need. There's plenty to keep us occupied."

"What if we chase an animal towards the buildings?" asked Shinji.

"The animals tend to go for their burrows and stay close to the trees. Chances of that are slim. You've hunted with us. You know."

"Right." Shinji shrugged. "Well, ok, then. I guess we make preparations tonight and see what happens tomorrow."

"And Shinji."

"Yeah?"

Hitsugaya looked in in the eye. "I'm not sure how strongly you feel about biting your friends but it's probably a good idea to stay away from them for a while. At least until after the full moon."

Shinji was serious as well. "You think the full moon might drive me to bite one of them?"

"I can't say for certain. But sleeping with their windows shut might be a good idea, not just to keep Byakuya out but us as well."

Shinji nodded slowly. "Gotcha."

Yumichika finished his evening routine before going to bed, singing to himself the whole time. He adored his reflection. He loved everything he saw in the mirror. Even his voice sounded amazing, he thought.

Ikkaku hadn't come back yet but he hardly noticed. In fact, he hardly noticed anything happening around him, he was so absorbed in his appearance.

Ironically, the very things about his body that hadn't registered to him were what he found to be enhancing his beauty. The feathers he found on his arms weren't odd to him though a part of him knew it wasn't normal to have them. His taloned feet would have normally caused him great alarm but he accepted it and didn't bring it up to anyone. In fact, he hardly noticed them, as if they had been there all his life.

His evening ritual always wore him out just before bed but lately, it seemed even more taxing. Probably because there was even more for him to do with all these feathers and scales on his lower legs. Mostly, he just stared at himself in the mirror until he felt like resting his eyes.

Yawning loudly, Yumichika tamped down his nest of pillows and blankets and curled in its center, ready to sleep. He looked forward to how beautiful he would be in the morning.

Tiring themselves out was harder than they expected. Wolves had great stamina and, as Soul Reapers, they did as well. That wasn't to say they didn't get tired. Of course, they did. They just knew how to pace themselves and normal activity wasn't enough to wear them out. Because of this, Hitsugaya added challenges to their usual routine that night.

Ripping branches off trees, jumping from one trunk to the next without touching the ground, not letting their prey get away, no matter how nimble. After three hours of this, the wolves were all feeling fatigued. Hisagi dropped where he stood and panted heavily.

"I think that's enough for tonight," said Hitsugaya, feeling tired himself. His paws shook when he walked. "Let's get some rest."

Shinji dragged himself to the edge of the forest and changed back into a Soul Reaper. His arms were more tired than his legs but that didn't say much. He had exerted himself so much, he could hear his own heartbeat in his skull. He wanted to go home.

"We'll meet back here tomorrow before sunset," Hitsugaya told them, back in Soul Reaper form. "Got it?"

"Yup."

"Got it," Hisagi mumbled into the dirt, his Soul Reaper form lying face-down among the tree roots.

All three of them slept soundly that night and all three had a hard time getting up in the morning. Hitsugaya staggered into work still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Wanting to look professional, he dragged himself out of bed to get to the office on time. As for the other two, they were still sleeping.

Hisagi lay flat on his back, his arms curled against his chest, sleeping like a dog. He even kicked when he heard a noise and his nose twitched. He yawned and rolled onto his side, stretching out his arms and legs. His bed felt so warm. His head felt warm, too. He opened his eyes and shut them again, the sunlight blinding him. No wonder his head felt warm. He had been laying it direct sunlight.

He sat up in bed and looked around. It was so sunny out. Was it morning or afternoon? How long had he been sleeping? He stretched out his arms and arched his back, yawning widely. He knew he needed to get up.

Shinji stayed in bed, holding his pillow to his body. He was too comfortable to get up. If he stayed in bed, he wouldn't have to deal with Momo. She might have forgotten about it by now but he didn't want to take that chance. It was probably better to stay in bed.

His stomach growled. He was hungry. But he was comfy, too. Food or sleep? He really didn't want to get up. If he went back to sleep, he wouldn't have to deal with his hunger.

He smelled something. Something tasty.

Shinji lifted his head, nose twitching. Something smelled really good. He couldn't sleep knowing there was food nearby. He got out of bed and went to look for it.

Hitsugaya was right about his appetite increasing. Once he smelled food, that was all he could think about. With a ravenous appetite, he devoured one thing after another, ordering extra food to take with him. By far, his favorite was the roast chicken. It may have been early in the day, but he didn't care. He ate as much as he could before going to the office. Once he was at his desk, he sat down and ate again. He couldn't help it.

Momo showed up and hid behind the door, hearing a strange noise. It sounded like an animal. He peered around and saw Shinji eating noisily at his desk. There was no one else in the room but him. She pressed her lips together, nervously. Her Captain was acting very strange and didn't know how to handle it.

Should she bring it to his attention? Should she get him help? Ignore it?

This was too weird. She didn't feel comfortable being in the same room as him. She wondered if she should leave. How would he know she was there if she didn't make an appearance? She should at least say hello before ducking out.

"Uh, good morning, Captain."

Shinji looked up, in the middle of licking the food container. He put it down and straightened up. "Uh, good morning." He wiped his mouth off on his sleeve. "How you doin'?"

"Ok." She eased her way into the room. He certainly had a lot of food containers on his desk. A lot of them were already empty. "Um… Hungry today?"

Shinji nodded, trying to act normal, though this was anything but. "Yup. Yup, yup, just, uh… hungry. Yup." He tapped his fingers on the edge of the desk. "Yup."

"Captain, I…"

"Oh, look at that. I'm all out of pork buns. I better go get some more. Bye." Shinji hurried out of the office, leaving her alone with what little remained of his food. He needed to get out of there.

Momo stood where she was, wondering what was going on.

Granted, she hadn't known her new Captain for very long, but he was acting very different from his usual self. All these excuses, running off at the drop of a hat, binging on food, stopping in the middle of a combat demonstration. Something wasn't right. Now she felt he was avoiding her.

It couldn't have been because he felt cross with her or was disappointed. Perhaps he didn't like her? No, that couldn't be. He never hinted at such a thing before. This was a recent change.

Recent just like what was going on in the sickbay. She had donated some of her own blood the other day to help Unohana and heard the nurses talking. Blood would disappear every now and again and they couldn't find the culprit. Even the guard had let them slip by unnoticed. He was promptly replaced and the blood hadn't gone missing under the new one's watch, but he only just started.

Could Shinji have had something to do with it? She couldn't understand why but she really didn't know him that well, compared to others. She knew he was a Vizard. Could that part of him been driving him to steal blood? It was hard to imagine, but…

She was worried Shinji was responsible for the missing blood packs but didn't want to say anything. She wanted to ask him about it and get his side of the story, but what if he was guilty and had to do something to her to get her to be quiet? A nurse had been attacked, after all. What if she was next? What if she was wrong and Shinji wasn't involved? What if she asked someone else for advice or left an anonymous tip to keep an eye on him just in case?

For now, she would keep this to herself. If anything happened, she would take action. That was what she decided.

Hitsugaya ate a big breakfast and even had some of Rangiku's cookies she kept in her desk, still hungry. He didn't even mind that they were sugar cookies. He just needed something in his belly. He could hardly concentrate on his work, mind on his meal. He wanted meat and plenty of it.

A Soul Reaper came in with some paperwork for him to fill out, looking distracted.

"What?" Hitsugaya asked and the young man blushed, looking away.

"Uh, nothing, sir. Just thinking about something."

"Such as?"

The man wouldn't meet his eyes. "A dream I had last night. It's still lingering on my mind."

"What kind of dream?"

The man blushed harder. "Not important."

Hitsugaya raised his brow, then, realizing it had been a lewd dream, he didn't press further. "You can go now."

"Yes, sir." The man hurried away, still embarrassed.

As he left, Hisagi entered the office, sniffing around. "Rangiku here?"

"Why would she be?" Hitsugaya responded curtly.

Hisagi whined like a dog and looked around the room as if she were hiding.

"She's not here," Hitsugaya told him firmly. "What do you want?"

"I want her," Hisagi admitted. He started pacing in front of Hitsugaya's desk, ranting. "I want to see her. I want to be near her. She's all I'm thinking about since I caught her scent. When she played with my hair yesterday, oh, man. I'm yearning for her to do it again. A belly rub sounds great, too. If she wants me to do tricks, I'll do it. Roll over? With pleasure. I can't stop thinking about her. I feel so lonely without her. Just a few minutes-"

Hitsugaya threw a glass of water in Hisagi's face.

"Thank you." Hisagi blinked the water out of his eyes, calming down.

"That's the affection aspect of the full moon and our wolf half meshing," Hitsugaya told him. "Since we're social creatures and desire to show affection towards those we're close to, the upcoming full moon seems to bring those feelings to the surface and are felt more strongly than usual. Or cause us to respond in a physical way."

Hisagi wiped his face off on his hand. "Then why aren't you freaking out?"

Hitsugaya blushed, looking away as if ashamed to admit it. "Truth be told, I've had a maddening desire to find Momo and be beside her. All morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I restrain myself. And… actually…" Hitsugaya glanced up for a fraction of a second and back to the floor. "Having you around makes me feel better. Part of the pack type of thing."

Hisagi stared at him, letting that sink in. Hitsugaya liked the fact that he was here because he found his presence comforting.

"Aw, Captain…"

"Don't even," Hitsugaya said sharply.

Hisagi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Actually, in all honestly, I kinda like hanging here with you, too. I kinda just want to be near people I know, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that."

Hisagi fidgeted awkwardly and asked, "Mind if I spend the morning in here doing some work? I can bring my stuff."

"Bring food, too, and you got a deal," said Hitsugaya with a smile.

Hisagi nodded. "You got it."

Come afternoon, Soul Reapers became more lively and chattered away as they journeyed from one building to another, smiling cheerfully. Shinji watched them from the shadows of his Squad building, the sunlight making his brown eyes sparkle in the shade.

Coping with being a werewolf proved difficult today. He stayed away from his Squad members, including his Lieutenant, and merely watched from a quiet location like a cat. It wasn't that he feared hurting them. More precisely, he felt he shouldn't be among them. He was too different.

Today more than most, he felt the difference between them. He didn't belong here.

He told himself repeatedly not to make any rash decisions he couldn't take back because they could have simply been the full moon's effect on him and would wear off after today. Despite the pep talks he gave himself, his mood hadn't improved, feelings unchanged.

He found he could not relate to them anymore, in spite of everything they shared in common. He did feel like an animal among man. He could dress up like one of them and have a conversation but that didn't mean they were the same.

More than ever, he wanted to escape. He longed for the sanctuary of the forest and all its inhabitants. The peace it brought him and the feeling of freedom. How it muffled the noises of the people at work as well as his sense of duty. Being in the forest made him forget about all of his responsibilities. He didn't have to worry among the trees. He was away from everything, even his doubt.

He tightened his grip of his arms, holding himself in place physically while his emotions tried to pull him towards the forest. He couldn't give in. He worried that if he did, he would lose an important part of himself.

It was the same as his Hollow. If he gave in, he wouldn't be him anymore. He couldn't lose himself. He had to hold on.

If he gave in, would he become feral? Would he lose himself completely?

What if the harder he fought against it, the easier it would be to go wild? What if giving in was the best thing for him?

What if it wasn't?

He didn't know what to do. Being a Vizard was hard enough without having to be a werewolf, too. How many things could he be before he ripped in half? Before it drove him insane? Which parts were fighting the other parts? What was dominant?

Shinji sighed and walked away. He didn't want anything to do with any of them. The more he was around them, he more he felt the distance between them.

"Captain Hirako, a moment please?"

He slowly turned to meet one of his Squad members.

"I wanted to ask you something. Now, about the…"

As the Squad member droned on, he wondered if the only way he could feel like he was one of them again was to bite them and make them like himself. He already thought about doing that to his Vizard friends. Lately, he had been tempted to do it more. Not for any protection purposes. Just so he could relate to them again. They were still friends but he felt it was only because of his mask now. He couldn't be their friend anymore. Not unless they were werewolves, too.

"Captain Hirako?"

Thankfully, Shinji was able to listen to the Soul Reaper and think at the same time and gave them his answer to the question. Satisfied, they took off and Shinji walked away slowly.

If this really was on account of the full moon, he wished it'd be over already. This feeling was torture.

Hisagi bit into another pork bun, feeling the soft texture of the steamed dough against his teeth. The bun itself was pretty bland but the meat inside was divine and paired well with the bun, like butter on bread.

"Am I crazy, or do these things taste even better as a wolf?" he asked Hitsugaya, laying on the couch.

Hitsugaya ate one to be sure. After savoring the flavors on his tongue, he gave his answer. "I think all meat tastes better now that we're wolves. Must be our heightened senses."

"Must be." Hisagi stuffed the last of the pork bun into his mouth and rolled onto his stomach. All the paperwork he had brought with him lay forgotten on the floor. He and Hitsugaya had been talking and eating since he got back. He only managed to fill out a little bit of the first paper.

Hitsugaya could multitask and had accomplished more than Hisagi, though the food had distracted him from getting more done than he usually did. He tried to get back to it but didn't feel like it. He wanted to take a nap.

"It is the afternoon and we did just eat. This is prime naptime, don't you think?"

Hisagi lifted his head. "Huh?" He was already dozing off.

Hitsugaya rested his head in his arms, deciding to sleep at his desk since Hisagi had the couch. "Mind if I take a nap?"

"I'm right behind you on that." Hisagi curled into a ball where he lay. "We probably need our strength for tonight," he said through a massive yawn.

"Talking time is over," Hitsugaya mumbled, wanting quiet.

Resting his eyes, he tried to sleep, but he was aware that he was still in his office. He heard Hisagi shift slightly on the couch then all was quiet again. It was difficult to turn off his brain. He was still thinking about what he needed to do today and tonight. He was so full he didn't want to move. A nap really was perfect.

Anticipating tonight's frolic, he started to dream about the forest, his body going numb. His desk disappeared and all he noticed were the trees as he ran. This felt so good. He was moving so fast.

Someone was running their hands through his fur. He wasn't running anymore. Something was…

What was it? He tried to find the hands rubbing his fur. He couldn't see anyone. Where were they? Why was he alone? The forest. Where had it gone? He saw bookshelves instead. Was he back in his office? Was he waking up? He still felt like he was dreaming. Bookcase trees. No one was petting him anymore. He was about to run again when something did wake him up.

Hitsugaya sat up, looking around. "What? What?"

Hisagi was sitting on the couch, hunched over, panting.

"What is it?"

Hisagi was blushing hard. "I… Uh…" He gulped.

"What?" Hitsugaya pressed.

"I just had a really… uh… Ahem. A really obscene dream."

Hitsugaya frowned. "Come on."

"You asked." Hisagi was still blushing. "Man, that was sexy."

"Shut up!" Hitsugaya covered his ears, not wanting to hear any more.

Rangiku came into the room at that moment. "Hi, Captain!" she greeted cheerfully. Then she saw the empty food containers. "Had a party without me? That's so unlike you, Captain."

"There was no party. Just had a big lunch and Hisagi joined me."

He waved from the couch, still hunched over. He carefully positioned a pillow on his lap to hide something as he blushed.

Rangiku smiled at him. "How's it going, Hisagi? Still doing those articles? The next issue better not be late."

"I'll get right on that," he said, trying to avoid her eyes.

She pouted. "What's wrong with doing it now? I want the couch so I can get some reading done. Get up."

"Maybe later." He started to curl into a ball, keeping the pillow on his lap to hide something he didn't want her to see. The more she tried to look at him, the redder he turned.

Knowing what was going on, Hitsugaya pointed at Rangiku's desk to get her attention away from Hisagi so he could calm down. "Read at your desk. Or better yet, do some work."

"Oh? Captain, you're turning red, too. Are you running a fever?"

"I want the subject to change!" he bellowed and felt his tail pop out behind his back. He quickly covered it with his jacket. "Just get out."

Rangiku sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "You want me to get to work. You want me to leave. Make up your mind, Captain."

Hitsugaya huffed and pulled himself closer to the desk. "Just leave."

She sighed again in a whiny pitch. "Ok, have it your way, Captain. So confusing." She shrugged and left the office.

Hisagi looked down and sighed with relief. "The one time I don't want her to pay attention to me. Stupid dream."

"I really want the subject to change," Hitsugaya said through his teeth.

"Sorry, sorry." Hisagi looked over the back of the couch to ask Hitsugaya a question. "Did you notice her scent, by chance? It seems different but still the same somehow."

"All I smelled was her perfume."

Hisagi rested his chin on the back of the couch. "Maybe that's it. I like it, whatever it is."

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