Twenty

Bella had left her daughter and Jacob alone in the bedroom. It was a strange feeling; her daughter was such a sentient part of who Bella was, and yet, she was growing up, rapidly. The rate of acceleration was so much more daunting than it would have been with a less unique child. As she walked away, she could hear her daughter's voice. There was such a soft adult edge to it, and again, Bella wondered where that had come from.

She heard Jacob say, "Scheming to get some alone time with me?" Followed quirkily by, "I'm honored."

It was true, even Bella had sensed it. Her daughter was scheming to get time alone with a boy, which Jacob…

She and Edward had just been remarking, a few days before—it felt like a lifetime ago, now, that each day seemed to change Renesmee even more—that her body was changing, going through the version of puberty that she was destined to, and her mind and heart was evolving as well.

Bella heard her daughter reply, softly. "I had a dream about you."

She couldn't hear any more, and even though it was hard, she blocked her hearing to their conversation. She could still remember her human days when she was desperate for every moment alone with Edward that she could find. Of course, she also remembered how Charlie, her father, had hovered in doorways, anxiously scratching his head at the riddle of his teenage daughter. Bella regretted that. With the benefit of hind sight she wished she had been more understanding of just how difficult it was to be a parent.

The rest of the cottage was quiet. There were unread books on the coffee table. Renesmee's backpack was in the kitchen, flung over the nob of the chair, and her geography book was open and lying flat on the surface of the kitchen table, with a pencil and a spiral notebook beside it, waiting for her to come and take up her work again. Bella's own bookbag had been dropped by the hall closet in her haste to get to Ness that night—had it really been only two days ago? She remembered suddenly that she had assignments that hadn't been completed, and that she hadn't called her professor asking for an extension, or explaining the situation. She hadn't even called Ness' school, either, and as far as she was aware, Edward hadn't, either. What kind of mother was she if she couldn't even juggle such matters?

Using her senses, she reached out for Edward. It was clear that she was in the house alone, but she could smell the faint traces of him lingering on the air. He smelt of moonlight, the soft spice of fern in the rain, with a hint of wax, as though he had been making candles, or pressing book pages.

The backdoor was slightly ajar, and Bella widened it and stepped through. The night wind hit her with an intoxicating punch. When she was still human, she had listened to Edward talk about how he could smell the weather, and before she transformed, she wasn't sure what to expect. She felt the frigid undercurrent from the arctic, mixing with the sugary slowness of air from the south. Bella could feel it mixing, like oil and water, in the atmosphere all around her. Above her the cottony clouds filled with steam and were evaporating into water. The wind hit her from the east and she could smell Edward stronger than ever.

She found him, standing close to the edge of their property, a few paces off their back porch, toward the tree line with his back to her. His head was cocked to the side, listening. The wolves howled again, the sound echoing all around them. When Bella got close enough, she pushed her palms upward along his back. He was accustomed to her touch and he leaned into it. Continuing on the path her hands had made she felt her way up his shoulders and then back down his chest, his hands reached out for her, meeting her half way. She breathed him in, the tender skin at the back of his neck taunting her. Edward's head fell back, searching for the hollow in her neck that fit his skull perfectly.

They stood in silence; their physical touch was vindication that they were both alright, still here, that Ness was out of danger, that the precious circle of their family remained intact, despite how it had previously been threatened. "Ness?" He asked.

She didn't need him to finish, "With Jacob. Rose?"

"Prowling," he noted. She could hear the reassuring smile in his voice. "Restless. Esme is out here somewhere too."

"She brought Leah?" Bella asked, referring to Esme. From her position in the house earlier, she had heard Leah and Jacob's raised voices, but her mind had been focused on Renesmee. Edward had been the one to go out to meet them.

Edward chuckled, low. The sound vibrated through her body from the proximity of her touch. Bella crinkled her brow, shocked by her husband's lightened mood. "What?" She questioned.

Edward squeezed her hand, regretful for her perplexity, but unsure how to tell his wife that Mike Newton, her former suitor, was spending his nights with Leah Clearwater, and from everything he had gathered from the brief snippet of Leah's mind they were both happy about the arrangement. It had taken Edward years to get passed his annoyance with the Newton boy, finding his jock bravado gauche, and his obsession with Bella (primarily physical) had forced him to restrain himself from doing the young man physical violence on numerous occasions.

Those days were behind them now, thankfully.

Bella asked again, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, it's…" he licked his lips, turning to face her, keeping his fingers entwined with hers, wondering how he should begin to explain. She saw first the deep blackness of his eyes and raised her hand to his cheek to pull him in and inspect him further.

Rosalie's sharp voice interrupted Edward before he could continue. "That howling is enough to drive anyone crazy." Her voice crackled like dry wood on a raging fire.

Edward sighed, raising his eyebrows at Bella as if to say, 'what now?'

"Jacob doesn't think they'll cross the border," Bella explained. "He said if they meant to, they would have done it already."

Rosalie was fuming, the anger in her voice sharp as shards of broken glass. "Why don't they just leave, then?"

"They're making a strand," said Edward. "Showing their disapproval of the Denali coven, and the addition of Alec. Honestly," he went on, "It's probably Alec's presence here, that's setting them off."

Bella shook her head. "Tanya said it's been months since he fed on a human."

"Maybe," Edward offered. "It still seems odd, though."

"He saved Renesmee," Rosalie insisted, her voice edging deeper. "Without him she could have easily died tonight."

The thought made Bella recoil. Edward felt it, and pulled his wife in tighter.

"We would have tried human blood eventually," Edward offered. "We would have given my blood time to work, and after that we likely would have tried human blood."

Bella remembered her shame at having to flee her daughter's side when Carlisle brought forth the bags of blood. Even the shame of having to leave her daughter's side while getting blood drawn made her cringe away in disgust from herself. "I don't trust him," Bella noted, trying to distract herself from her darker thoughts.

Edward agreed. His arm was swung tightly around her back and his fingertips had found the loose ends of her hair, tugging on them lightly.

"You can't deny his powers would be useful against the Volturi, though."

Any weapon to help them with Aro and his army when they eventually came for the Cullen's would be beneficial, but, "His presence here is just as much a detriment as anything else."

Edward's head tilted back toward the house, hearing something that they could not. Bella felt him tense, his grip on her growing tighter. From the shadows of the buttery light spilling across them from inside Bella could really see how hollow his face had become. She could not remember the last time he had left to hunt.

"Rose?" Bella asked, "Can you go check on Jacob and Renesmee?"

Rosalie's lip curled up in disgust. "You left her alone with that mutt?"

Bella gave her a half-hearted smile. Her emotions on Jacob's feelings for her daughter had waxed and waned over the years, but she never doubting that Jacob would do anything necessary to protect her daughter.

"I think it's time Jacob go back home," Edward remarked, prophetically. Bella eyed him, wondering what he had seen or heard with his ability to read minds. Offhandedly, he added. "He's worried that he might be getting fired from the garage because he hasn't shown up for a few days. Something Leah also said, rattled him… and..."

"Billy?" Bella suggested.

Edward nodded, "Among other things."

Rosalie sighed, "He shouldn't be alone with her."

Edward shrugged. "Probably not." He imagined how heartbroken his daughter would be without Jacob in her life, and he could never deny her that happiness. "We should go back inside."

Bella pulled on him, keeping him back.

"I'm going in," Rose acknowledged, free of preamble.

Bella nodded, watching her go, keeping a strong newborn hold on her husband. "Your eyes," she told him, when his warm gaze questioned her. "Your face, you haven't feed in days. You're barely on your feet."

Staring down at her, he said, "I'll be fine." He could barely convince himself.

"I don't want to disappear into the forest right now," he spoke, regretfully. "I want to be with my family. I want to be with my daughter, and with you," his fingers trailed feather-light patterns on her shoulders, teasing her in, until he was holding her tightly to his chest.

They, Edward and Bella, had forged a pack after Ness' birth, and their first hunt together. They agreed that there would always be one of them with her. They had spent the first year of her life wondering how long they might have with her, her aging, accelerated to about five years with each year of her life. They had also been dealing with the looming threat of the Volturi, and their lives were rife with uncertainty.

"I'll come with you," Bella told him. She watched his face change, questioning.

"Together? But Ness…?"

"I know," she gripped him tighter. Tight enough to hurt, but he didn't object to the force. "I just," she struggled, trying to articulate her pain.

Edward cupped her cheek. "It's been a difficult last few days. Ness almost died." He shuttered at the words.

"Ness is… growing up."

He tilted his head. "You've noticed too."

Bella leaned in to him, closer still, rubbing her face against his chest. "Everything is changing so fast."

The wind roared past them, hungry with the decadency of night. The scent of wild things—bears and mountain lions and coyotes hit them hard. Edward hissed.

"You need to feed," Bella insisted. She pulled away from him. Looked him sternly in the eye.

"Together?" He was still unsure.

Bella tightened her grip on him. "Together."

They walked slowly at first, arms entangled. Each new step brought them farther and farther away from the cottage, farther away from Ness.

The night was alive all around them. Bella could ear the soft threads of bird feathers as nests rattled in the wind. She could hear the chirps and thrums of crickets and the groans from the roots of the trees in the forest, clambering for purchase in the storm. The darkness was a velveteen tapestry enveloping them both. The ferns underneath their feet shivered and the mists rolled down from the mountains, clinging to the frozen marble of their skin.

They heard Emmett before he appeared before them, his boisterous stance indicating to them that everything was right with the world.

Garrett passed them in a flash, a blur of movement and a quick apologize saying that he wanted to return to Tanya, that he was anxious to get back home. That Kate was waiting for him.

Emmett stayed with them, explaining that Leah had convinced Sam and his pack to vacate, and even now they were on their way back down the cliffside, heading for Forks and then the reservation.

"Where is Leah?" Bella asked.

Emmett gestured to the woods behind him, explaining, "She didn't want to hitch a ride," indicating that he would have carried her like a damsel in a fairy story or hefted her over his shoulder to get her back to the house quicker. "She said she'd rather walk."

They watched Emmett shrug, uncomprehending of Leah's logic.

"She must be freezing," Bella noted. She could remember cold in an obscure way, recalling it as the chatter of teeth with a blue ting to the fingertips, rather than a sensation or an emotion.

"You'll see her eventually. Human speed." Emmett smirked, "Have you seen Rose?"

Edward raised an eyebrow, picking up on the tone of Emmett's inner thoughts. "She's back at the cottage with Renesmee." He tilted his head, trying to block out Emmett's inner monologue. "Try," he went on, skeptically. "To wait on that until we get back. Rose is watching Ness for us while we hunt."

"Together?" Emmett was skeptical.

Bella stepped forward, imbuing as much menace as she could in her tiny frame. "Yes. Together."

Emmett towered over her, and he chuckled at her annoyance. "Okay," he raised his hands, clearly unbothered by her sass. "Have fun. I'm going to go find Rose."

He disappeared in a blur of movement, the haste of his departure leaving deep footprints in the sodden earth.

Edward and Bella continued walking. Edward was famished, they both knew it, but they hesitated to travel too far from the cottage, their movements unforced. Their scents focused on the prey moving a few miles ahead of them.

They saw Leah on the pathway up ahead. Her jacket was zipped up to her chin with the hood folding baggily over her eyes. Both hands tucked tight into her pockets. Bella noticed that her pants were dark and wet up to the waist. She was drenched as though she had been swimming.

"We haven't heard the howls in a while," Edward called out to her by way of greeting.

Leah glared at both of them.

Bella got the impression that she was irritated to have her inner thought stream interrupted. "They're leaving, or… They will be soon. Sam's already changed back; the others are struggling."

Bella said, "They can't change back voluntarily?"

Leah shook her head in the negative.

"But you didn't have any trouble," Edward noted. It wasn't a question, he had access to her mind and didn't need to waste his time with questions.

"No," Leah told them matter-of-factly.

"You should go back to the house, Leah," Bella said. "Get some warm clothes before you leave."

Leah looked down, as though noticing her sodden coat and jeans for the first time. "Not necessary. I just want to go home."

Bella made to argue, but Edward stilled her with the press of his hand on her back.

"Thank you for coming, Leah. We won't forget this kindness."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Keep an eye on that new vampire. Somethings off with him, and if he stays, he'll continue to set the Quileute wolves off." She passed them, not turning back, but adding, "He's trouble. Get rid of him."

Edward thanked her, "We understand."

When Leah faded into the darkness Edward and Bella continued to navigate forward. They had caught the scent of a pack of coyotes up ahead. "Earlier," Edward commented. The sight of Leah reminded him. "When you wanted to know why I was laughing."

"Oh, yeah. What was so funny?"

He smiled again. He didn't need to picture it, Leah had unwittingly supplied to visual. Edward had seen the night at the local bar called The Evergreen, followed by the car ride, and then…

"From what I gather," he explained. "Leah and—"

The crunch of a branch underfoot stilled them. The pack of coyote's were right ahead of them. Bella could smell the earth on their wet pelts, and she could feel the heat of their running life blood in her own skin. Her mouth filled with venom. She reached out to Edward, gripping his wrist. "You first."

She could tell from the intensity of his stare that he was desperate for blood, feeling everything that she was feeling but on a more escalated level. He shook his head. "Together."

They pounced, still hand in hand, their feet seamlessly descending the hill until they were on top of the pack. Bella reached out for one, while Edward took the other. After a quick yelp both creatures were silenced by the insertion of their fangs.

Edward sucked greedily. Animal blood was hardly fulfilling in terms of taste but it was enough, always just enough.

After they finished, sated, Edward fell against the hillside, his head nestled on a mossy rock. Bella crawled toward him. He welcomed her with his arms and she fell against him.

"We should head back," Edward told her, his bones heavy from the meal. He could feel himself sinking into the ground.

Bella cupped his cheek, "Not just yet."

"The sun will be up soon," Edward told her. He could feel the heat creeping up the horizon. His thoughts were on Renesmee, but he was content to stay here with Bella sprawled across his chest. It felt like centuries since they were last like this, complacent to be in each other's company, alone. He loved his daughter, and he could never separate from his family, but this… Bella in his arms with her skin backlite by the stars in the night.

"I love you like this," he told her. Fingertips trailing her arm. She had moles wrapping around her forearm and her elbow, he wanted to map them with his tongue.

Bella hummed in appreciation. "It's been so long," she told him, her voice heavy with the seduction of his touch.

"It's not your fault," he began. "It's not your fault that Ness was sick, and it's not your fault that you had to leave the room when human blood was brought out. No one would ever blame you for that."

Bella was quiet for a while. "I'm her mother," she explained. "I should be able to handle that."

"It doesn't make you less of a mother that you couldn't."

"I should have."

Edward sat with that. Earlier in the day he had seen a slice of this same future from Alice's mind—Bella, falling to the floor, his arms around her, cradling her, while she sobbed openly at not being able to care for their daughter in the same way that other parents could.

"In a lot of ways, we're bad parents," he confided.

She stirred, raising her head to look at him, questioningly.

He went on, "In my time, eighteen was not so young to be married and have a child. It wasn't exactly common, but it wasn't exactly rare, either. It would have been a sign that Charlie trusted me to provide for you, by trusting me with your hand in marriage."

Bella scoffed. She hated the idea of being "given" away in marriage. Charlie was her father, not her lord and master.

"Things might have been different if…"

She stopped him with the press of her fingertips to his lips. "Don't say that. I don't regret anything, and even if things were different... If we got married one day sooner or one day later, then we wouldn't have Ness now. Everything happened with perfect symmetry to allow her to be in her life. You still question whether you have a soul, I know, but you can't deny that her birth was an indication that fate is real."

Edward chuckled, the sound was low in his chest and Bella felt it reverberate up into her body. "My philosopher."

She laid her head back down onto his shoulder, and his hand slid tenderly into her hair. Her curls were wet from the rain, soft as silk to the touch. "I love you," his whispered, the sound insistent, a declaration to the universe. She felt him breath her in.

"I love you." She reached out, sliding her hand down his chest and underneath the waist band of his pants. She felt Edward tense. "It's been a really long time since we were alone together, like this." She reached her hand down further, cupping him.

"We don't have to," he said, his voice was shaky.

Bella turned her neck, letting her lips brush a feather light kiss against the wet fabric of his t-shirt. Her hand began to stroke him.

"If you're not careful," he warned, "You'll make me think you only want me for my body." He moaned, the sensation of her hand against his stiffening penis made his body quake with need for her. "You always did want to get in my pants."

She giggled, pushing up until she was straddling him. He watched her turn her neck to the side, all of her hair dropping down to one side of her lovely face. "I was desperate for this." She reached her hands back down, tearing away the fabric of his shirt, revealing the hard contours of his chest. Next, she reached for the button of his jeans, quickly flicking it open and pulling them down enough so he could spring free.

A male vampire, she had learned, was always partially erect, the natural anatomy of his transformation made it so, a fact, she had been elated to learn, when she'd made love to Edward the first time.

On their honeymoon, back on Isle Esme, she had asked, "But how do you hide it?" After he had explained to her. She remembered trying to puzzle it over. "How did I never notice?"

"I have to try to conceal it," he had confided. "It's not without difficulty. Emmett doesn't like to, so he doesn't care who may or may not see."

Now, as she sat atop him, watching his eyelids droop while his neck falls back as she touched him, she felt him harden even more.

Their love making had evolved over the years, Edward's reserve while she was a human quickly transformed into something more tender and yet more satisfying to her. He struggled, sometimes, with everything that she wanted to do with him. Despite his confirmation to the contrary, Bella believed the Edward had grown up in a very religious household, and the topic of sex was completely taboo. For Bella's part, Renee had been very open about sexuality, and Bella had never felt ashamed or odd to desire her partner or be prone to hesitate on trying anything new out. Edward had refused to let her give him a blow job for years, arguing that it was unclean, that she shouldn't need to do that, that everything they were already doing was enough to satisfy and please him.

When he finally consented to it, she had never been so turned on as when he was shuttering, gasping her name, coming undone in a way that he never had before.

"I want to put you in my mouth."

He groaned, gripping her hips. "You don't have to."

She ground down on him. "I want to."

Bella maneuvered herself until she was on her knees in front of him, keeping eye contact until she could wrap her mouth fully around his throbbing penis. She did not naturally have any saliva any more but when she thought about the blood that she had consumed earlier it made her mouth fill with warm venom.

She watched Edward's mouth fall open, a silent moan of pleasure erupting through his body. His hands fisted in the earth at either side of him.

Her head slid up and down, teasingly, moving slow at first, then accelerating, using one hand at the base of his shaft to use in tandem with her tongue.

"This is agony…" he hissed. She watched him bit his lip.

She took her lips away. "Doesn't it feel good?" He whimpered at the loss of her and when she put her mouth back against him, she felt him shutter.

"I can't—" she watched his head fall back hard against the rock, cracking it. His hips were digging into the ground, trying to hold himself back. "–I'm going to."

Neither of them breathed, but the sensation of her mouth on him was making him gasp and splutter.

Finally, in a gulp of resolve, Edward stammered, "I can't. I can't hold back. I'm going to—"

He never said the word 'cum,' it was repugnant to him, but Bella knew what he meant. She moved away, releasing him, and he settled back, calming himself.

When she straddled him again, she used her hand to guide him inside of her and his mouth fell open again.

"I love you," she whispered as she began to rock her hips with him inside of her.

His cool hands were against her exposed skin. Touch was the language that he spoke when they were like this. He cupped her back and lifted himself until they were face to face. His forehead fell perfectly against the chilled skin at the hollow of her neck. Years ago, when he had stepped out into the sunlight in Volterra it was this same place on her body that his head had fallen to, inhaling, for what he thought at the time, what the taste of heaven would be like.

"I love you," he murmured, gripping her tighter. The movement of her body on top of him, and the way he felt while he was inside her sent him down a spiral of need.

When he gripped her like this, Bella knew that he was close to bursting, and she loved the sounds that he was making. With each thrust of her hips the staccato burst of feeling from him was dazzling.

When he cried out her name and began to shake inside of her, she held him, feeling him jerk and the eventually calm and soften deep within her.

She rocked him, keeping his head tight against her neck while he murmured endearments against her skin.

Around them the night broke into dawn, and Bella held onto him. Rocking ever so slightly, keeping part of his body inside of hers.