October 9th, 2011 - 8 a.m. - Phoenix' POV
Tick-tock-tick-tock ... the headmaster's office is completely devoid of any sounds, other than the ticking of the clock above the entrance. The desk – old, properly manufactured hardwood, exactly what a headmaster not caring about public spending would afford himself – presents itself to be noticeably empty, apart from an ancient glass of ink, a stack of mostly untouched papers, a trusty bird's feather and a framed photograph, thanks to which I spend more time in the past than it's probably healthy for myself. I, seated as usual, decide to take a break from my incessant writing, owing to the fact my hand is half-numb already, moving from the chair that seems to have been just as much of a financial expense as the desk was.
I try my very best, but even with the support of an antiquated but sturdy cane that I gladly took on as my own when Mr. Sharp finally succumbed to his own arrogance, it takes me quite a few seconds to formally raise myself. Due to an rather uneventful summer, I spent an overwhelming amount of time essentially self-quarantined to the office, reading through the entirety of the encyclopedia collection available, which informed me about the medical risks of thrombosis caused by prolonged inactivity and, ironically, self-quarantine, among others – the amount of medical knowledge freely accessible to the common man was and still is staggering to me. A far cry from the homelands, so to speak. I gaze upon the clock, its ticking only really coming to my attention after the concentration on my writing deeds came to a halt.
... ah, the annoyance of necessary appliances. A clock working like clockwork. Thankfully an older model that could be winded up manually. Batteries are a worthwhile good in this day and age.
I turn away from the desk to instead take a peek through the window... or window-door, is that the correct term? The repeating wood-on-wood noise the cane makes is even more of a hassle to me than anything the clock could do, even the way it shows my time running out and about every day. Nobody lives forever (I hope?), but at only 24 years old, I sometimes already feel like a retiree, just waiting out his days for the inevitable. It isn't cancer, smoking, drinking or anything else that would be the leading cause of natural death for most people my age, but a left femur broken near the joint with a leg that had to be amputated – both of which were never properly treated thanks to lacking medical facilities. Painkillers would be helpful... but after the apocalypse came about, I decided that those would be better used to treat any of the younger ones if anything didn't go as planned. And it didn't, many times.
43 students on July 19th, 2003 – the day of the outbreak. The Original 43, as I like to call them. 13 remaining. Not including myself and a few others, who technically weren't students and only went on the school records after everything went downhill. Still... I do feel responsible, in a way. I certainly could've done more. Story of my life.
At first I thought that it would be a good idea to stay out of the limelight and let things run by itself – it's not like I had much choice in the matter. Vice-principal Sharp took matters in his own hands, and nobody would even attempt to challenge Joseph Price, his nephew and most prized goon. It didn't help that pretty much all of the students who knew/were old enough to handle guns supported his crude vision. Most notably the Coldon twins, but even Asha to a degree. Which turned out to be a disastrous affair for most of the students involved. It should've been clear from the start – Price was a former member of a bloodthirsty trucker gang, Dewey Coldon came to the school as a result of excessive psychopathic and narcissistic tendencies (proceeding to show little to no regard for the well-being of all us fellow students - Price himself wasn't much more open to discussion either) and the other twin Ryan blindly agreed to everything both of them suggested.
In the end, Sharp's sudden demise sparked an outright mutiny that violently ousted both of them from their positions of power. Not that either of them would ever have given up power without a fight. After that, the remaining children gave Ryan the benefit of the doubt – particularly because he decided to change alliances and work in the best interests of the remaining students. But in the end, it turned out he was simply not meant to be a good fit for the post-apocalyptic world, which he eventually realized himself. At least that's what his final words, found on a paper directly next to his limp body with a bullet hole in his skull, suggested.
In the end, the Yankees decided that it'd be a sensible decision to have a bunch of foreigners lead the charge, so good ol' Bri'ish me, Walisian genetic freak Cedric 'Zed' Stanstead and Indian-American killshot Asha took over the helms. Most of the others did think that they needed someone in charge without a clear lust for power – which I'm not positive was what I represented. It's weird, but sometimes I wish Ms. Martin was still around... having a mature voice of reason to guide me was always helpful. But sadly, she didn't live to see the end of the trucker gang dictatorship.
Eh, perhaps I'm not quite physically as able-bodied as I used to be, but I think through time I've proven many times that I'm somewhat capable of doing the job – although even I have to admit I would've been lost without Zed giving me constant unsolicited advice that ended up paying off in the end. It's been almost half a decade since Kim got destiny's middle finger and Ryan finished himself off, and we've surprisingly managed not to have a single person killed by non-natural causes since then... I say non-natural because for poor Zed, his sickness eventually caught up to him. At least he got to say goodbye, something most of the other deceased students never got the chance for. And as for the whereabouts of our two missing person cases... my guess is as good as anyone's.
Things have gone through considerable changes ever since. Well... somewhat. What made the biggest difference for me personally was the unexpected arrival of the person most closely resembling an angel... it's hard to believe it's been almost five years already since Zoria appeared in front of our gates, one snowy December day back in 2006. What followed about a year later was a rather hefty confrontation in the woods that ended well enough, with the successful integration of a small group of ragtag misfits lead by a headstrong Native American college student (which is probably the nicest thing I ever said about Samantha), and yet another year later, the expert for all matters concerning the undead himself, an Asian-American boy from New York called James, whose... creative methods have helped considerably in making the surrounding woods a safer place.
This tree looks as dangerous as it could possibly get. I ought to have it axed down by somebody... or perhaps I shall try myself? Thinking of it, I cannot recall ever having swung an axe before, at least not in a serious manner. I suppose I'm much more sophisticated in the art of swinging sharper instruments, preferably with two-sided blades. At least it would be a fitting weather situation for manual labour. As clear skies as autumn allows. October 9th, if I counted correctly. Ryan's death anniversary tomorrow. And just at the same day as the weekly meeting. Precious. Nonetheless, as much as I despise complimenting myself, I might start doing so. I'm quite curious whether anyone else in the world today gets to command a group of teenagers... and a few grown women who act like they are in that age range.
I've given it some thought. Maybe it's not that inherently terrible of an idea. But I still am not thoroughly convinced it actually makes sense. I've had the stroke of genius to put together a small expedition to the former train station... less out of necessity and more as a sort of training exercise. May sound contrived, but I don't wish to soften up the kids more than they already are by constantly hunting in areas where the undead are practically a non-factor. Doesn't stop me from unnecessarily worrying though. Now I know what being Brody is like. The road just leading it up to the train tracks... it used to be a major connection point to the 'outside' – some residents of the town would joke that it was the only connection to civilization. I'm aware just how unlikely any menace coming from there is, given how sparsely populated today's world is with humans who are actually capable of intelligent thought, but nonetheless. My constant soft paranoia is well founded, I suspect. Courtesy of trauma caused by lacking parenting is what the school psychologist would most likely have called it. If the powers that be could've been bothered to hire one. They did not. Abysmal decision making, if I have to emphasize that.
„So... how's the decision making going?", a familiar voice calls out behind my back while I still look out of the window towards the balcony.
Good lord. I have to constantly remind myself that she's in this very room. Still being asleep in the armchair at that time of day is... worrisome. I do fear the coming winter might have an even more negative effect on her behavior. Huh. The coming winter. That reminds me of something. I need to stop reminiscing of the past that often, I really do. And so do a lot of other people here.
„Well, that wholly depends on whether you're bloody able to emerge from your place of rest. The assistance of someone who knows the ins and outs of how rifles work would be quite welcomed.", I answer. The literal teenagers out there would most certainly profit from adult advice. Which, again, would need to have her leave the room. Which is becoming an increasingly harder task, for both of us.
„Also depends on whether you can help with something else I'm working on in the evening...I wouldn't mind company", the voice responds in what I can only consider a suggestive manner.
Not this again. I try my best to maneuvre myself around, resting the weight of my upper body on the cane, fearing its old wooden parts may break due to the pressure. „Paige, I will not have sexual relations with you, no matter how many times you try to compliment me – or I compliment you, depending on the given circumstance. We had this discussion already, remember?"
She doesn't answer immediately, instead having a troubled and questioning look on her face. I continue: „And I don't particularly appreciate you constantly joining me on that armchair and leaning on my shoulder when I am already fast asleep. If this was the other way around, it would seem highly predatory. But because I am the man running the operation and you're the 'subordinate', I appear to be expected to simply put up with it. Inconceivable, it is."
Cue her facepalming herself. Did she finally get the message... or don't tell me... goddammit.
„Jesus Christ, Phoenix. I get that you'd think this is what I mean, but I was more talking about some campfire story thing that Mitch and Willy have planned. Mentioned that yesterday already, remember?"
Are you... well, that's impressively uncomfortable. „Oh... that's... to be considered, I suppose.", I stutter back. Heavens. This girl will be the death of me. Dying from the heat of embarrassment was certainly not on my Bingo cards of ways into eternal demise.
„Also, even if it was the other way around... it wouldn't really work. You're like eight inches taller than me.", she says with an awkward expression and a hint of irony, which leads to me frowning and raising my eyebrow.
„Quite an exaggeration. You're like, what, 5 ft 9? 5ft 10? You're taller than Minerva. Don't sell yourself short. And, oh well... I'm not as tall as I'd like to be either. Never was much of a stud anyway... girls may swoon over me for a lot of reasons, but extraordinary height isn't one of them."
„Huh... good to know that whether you think a relationship between the two of us would work in that regard is that high on your list of priorities. I feel flattered." she answers, leading to me probably visibly reddening. Oh god, why...
„In the name of all things holy, how did we even get to this subject of discussion?" I retort, having a good mind to immediately leave the room to spare me from any further embarrassment.
„Umm...pretty sure it started with you severely misunderstanding my point and wording it like you were Bill Clinton denying your affair with Miss Lewinsky. Although, to be fair, she was hotter than I am and he had a better haircut than you do.", she answers with a little sense of self-deprication.
„With all due respect, but this woman was not more attractive than y..." I stop myself before finishing my sentence, now facepalming myself. „Why I do keep walking into your traps? I hate you."
„Clearly." she retorts smirking and with a slight blush of embarrassment on her face.
I turn sideways to look out of the old door yet again, trying to calm myself. „I cannot recall you ever being nearly as insolent as you currently are when you and your apparent support group arrived here. I guess we achieved something here. Less of the I'm the disgruntled brotherless child on the verge of suicide mood is always a welcomed contribution."
„I don't think I've ever known anyone who's worse at making small talk than you are." she replies to that. Unsurprisingly, a nerve hit. And I couldn't agree more. Certainly not a skill of mine that has improved in the past few years. Thank Zoria... or curse her, depending on the context. One of the (dis)advantages one has to deal with when a stunning Swedish bombshell does almost all the talking for you.
„Me neither. Another thing we have in common. Fancy." I would entertain kicking this girl out of the room myself, but for some curious reason, I don't. Am I truly this desperate for any sort of companionship? Well, as long as I don't fall for her feminine charm... which at this point I'm not completely sure I could avoid. Thankfully Alex manages to interrupt our verbal affronts every time before something even more unbecoming happens, desperately trying to challenge me with this dusty old chessboard he carries around. Cassie stamp of approval. I wouldn't be shocked to find out he is listening in somehow to help me out in this dilemma every now and then.
„Looks like you two are having a... spirited conversation." I visibly shudder as a mellow and highly enticing voice enters the conversation.
Of course. As if the atmosphere wasn't questionable enough yet, Zoria decided to finally get up before 10 a.m. for once, not even bothering to change from her quite risque nightgown into something that doesn't awaken most boy's fantasies.
„For the love of all things holy, will you put on some proper clothes? Unless being part of Willy's wet dreams is high up your list of priorities." I berate her in a less than impressed tone of voice, but like always, my concerns are swiftly ricocheted back into my face.
„Sorry if that looks a little..." Paige tries to excuse herself for the obviously awkward dialogue between the two of us, but Zoria swiftly cuts her off, waving off any concerns: „It's fine. Anything that has his I'm such an stoic unemotional alpha aura fall to pieces is quite entertaining. He's sooo cute when he's reddening like a little girl just about to ask out her crush."
Before this would all turn out even worse, the conversation is interrupted however. Not by him, but by duty... or to be more exact, a friendly knock on the door. A quick glance at the clock tells me it's 8 a.m. flat. At least someone in here has a sense of punctuality. I silently gesture Zoria to swiftly return to back room, which she does after a half-disapproving, half-snarky glare, and I do my best to act like all of what happened this morning thus far never happened.
A short call of approval from my side – and a motion for Paige to finally get up from her godforsaken place of resting - follows the door swinging open with quite a bit of force, and a certain woman – mockingly called Warrior Princess by Trey, a name that stuck to her disapproval – walks in with her beloved baseball bat in hand and an M16 strapped to the back, carrying a noticeably large piece of paper in the other hand. Unsure whether to be glad that the uncomfortable situation between the three of us was interrupted or to be unamused by the blatant lack of respect of my rather easily fulfilled wishes (is common courtesy, as in, greeting your superiors, truly too much to ask for?), I speak up.
„Not even an attempt at a good morning wish? No? Fine then. I do hope you at least put forth a tad bit of planning, Asha."
I resent this entire look at how tough I am, I don't need to display manners attitude. But it's well earned, I suppose. At least she brings with her the crew that I asked for. Sophie, Aasim, Marlon, Willy... plus Paige and her in the shadows should work. I don't wish to send out half of the school, but then again just having James do it on his own would perhaps be too risky... actually no, it would be perfectly safe. Like I said, I see this more like a training exercise than a necessity. Just some preparation for the case anything goes sideways and they have to fend for themselves on the outside.
„Nobody cares, fried chicken. There's the document.", Asha coldly responds to my formal remark, throwing it onto the desk and acting like there was absolutely nothing else to consider. For what a professional she is on the battlefield, so unprofessional she is in... right about everything else.
The unwelcoming problem with a first name like Phoenix is the fact that there isn't just a simply abbreviation that everyone could call you as, like Minnie for Minerva is, so my fellow companions have come up with a wide variety of nicknames, all of which I despise. From Firebird, to Birdie, to Birdo, to Fried Chicken to Hawkeye to... the Arsonist, which I imagine would be a much more fitting nickname for Mitch – thanks for nothing, sweet not-so-little sister. How to kill my motivation before the day has even properly started 101.
„Hello there!", Sophie and Willy utter in unison and a bit more excitement than their older companion, although they're quite visibly tired, still. „Just gotta ask, really quickly, no hate or anything... why did that all have to happen to early in the morning?" legendary morning grouch Sophie asks. Oh boy.
„I'm seriously surprised you always manage to sleep that long. Doesn't Minnie rumbling around in the early hours have some sort of awakening effect? It's not weird to find her at six in the morning already trying to bust her guitar strings again. And I'm pretty sure she got Mitch and Omar up at the same time this morning to get the wood chipping out of the way ASAP. They weren't impressed, by the way." Aasim rambles in yet another one of his unnecessarily long, but informative monologues.
Woodchipping, huh? Seeing my subordinates planning and carrying out necessary work on their own accord is always an admirable thing to see. Although in this instance it's likely to cause yet another argument between Minnie and Mitch over whose masculinity is more significant. Teenage drama. I'm thankfully old enough to be out of it, but that unfortunately doesn't apply to the majority of kids around here.. Then again, as long as they don't become violent... and I know Mitch, he's not going to do much other than talk a big game and then leave with his tail retracted. Guess that's why he loves spending time with Sam... two peas in a pod.
„Alone together again? Man... you two spend, like, way too much time together.", Marlon comments in a snarky tone, successfully managing to rile me up even more.
„I couldn't agree more on that. But that's hardly my decision, since a certain individual with a ludicrously styled mullet decided to have the keys magically disappear in a ditch eight years ago.", I sarcastically answer to his comment.
„Thanks for the vote of confidence. Asshole.", Paige replies to my answer, half-jokingly, half serious. Splendid. Maybe I ought to hold my tongue, having Zoria being rather unimpressed with my conduct is dangerous enough for my mental well-being – although I know by now she too is all talk, no action. I'd have to think about whom this doesn't apply to. Which is a positive. Can't say the 'shoot first, ask questions second' crowd was ever my favourite.
„Man, come on... it doesn't look that bad.", Marlon replies. Not sure about that. I most certainly prefer my mane, even though the silver makes me age rather badly. Even when the pink sunglasses on my very face don't help. Alice would've been a wallflower if it wasn't for her highly questionable choice of colours in... everything.. I do try to honour her as best I can, but it's undeniable my unusual hair tone plus the darkened sunglasses make me look like even more of a 70s relict than she did wearing them.
„Ehh, it does look that bad. But to be fair, Dewey was sitting here all the time, trying to play big boss. I can't say I blame you on that one at least. He was the last person on the planet deserving privacy." Woah, Aasim coming to Marlon's defense. The most extraordinary thing I'll see all day.
„I think there's one chair too few." Willy throws in, making it apparent once again that between either sitting somewhere or jumping around like a hyperactive raccoon, there's little wiggle room for his physical activity. Doesn't turn into much of an issue, though, as Asha on the other hand almost never sits down. Sometimes I wonder if she's mastered the art of sleeping while standing.
„So, basically... you're not gonna deliver the explanation, are you?", Marlon asks into her direction, which she answers with a blank expression before turning her back to us. Not in the least surprising. She feels like her work is done already. Great.
He continues, having already placed the map on the table, opening it, while carefully making sure the framed picture of me, Alice & Zed doesn't get broken: „Thought so. So, to recap what we've found out so far: James has been out scouting the place out on his own. The entire area looks sort of... fine, I guess? But something has changed dramatically compared to the last time anyone of us were there." So the drama. I'm waiting.
„Yep – he said it looks like someone is living there. Or, used to. There's a bell with a warning shield, crops that have completely dried out and... a broken down tire swing right there.", Willy adds, pointing at the front of the train station on the map.
„A tire swing? Could it be that...?", Paige appears visibly distressed. I expected that reaction – no one living on school grounds has a softer spot for young children than her. Another really admirable quality of her... and I almost feel compelled to hug her. Almost.
„Maybe. But like I said, all of it seems like it hasn't been used in forever. Whoever was there either left... or worse.", Willy continues.
„Fantastic. More dead children. Just what the world needed." I somberly add to the matter. I'm struggling between being genuinely saddened by this prospect, or being worried at the fact that someone lived that near to the school without any of us taking notice. Need to send out scouts more often. Can't let James do it all on his own.
„It's terrible, I know. But... that at least means no one's gonna take a shot at us. Walkers only, and no herd to be seen either. That does make things quite a bit easier.", Aasim adds with a concerned look on his face.
„So you only ought to worry about... non-undead enemies. Certain there are none of them around?", I ask. Just being careful.
Aasim continues: „Pretty sure. James looked at everything. Checked the train wagons – empty, probably still as empty as they were after Rocky and me cleared them out in that stupid suicide mission we barely survived. The door is closed from the inside, but he looked through the windows from all sides. The only thing moving are... two walkers tied to a chair. Before you ask: No, I don't know if he was serious or just fucking with us. We'll have to keep that in mind."
Good... wait, what? Please don't let this be some sort of suicide pact... I'm already concerned enough about hauntings. The massive graveyard directly behind the admin building doesn't help. I sometimes just expect Davey's spirit to show itself at night trying to educate me about the Yukon gold rush.
„I'd say the former... I haven't heard James joke about anything in years." Paige is right. He's probably the only person more on the philosophy of life line than Tennessee.
„Very good. What about... not-undead enemies from the outside?", I continue. You could hear a pin drop after I asked that question. Still on edge. A year after we went through that mess. And I always thought I was the jumpy one.
Aasim responds first: „From where? The street? There's barely anyone out there anymore. We should concentrate on the walkers. Especially because I doubt James already rendered them harmless that far out."
„You never know...", Marlon counters.
Aasim responds to that with a demeaning chuckle, adding: „What, you still paranoid about those guys? I'd say as long as YOU keep it together... there shouldn't be much of problem."
„What the fuck is that supposed to mean?", Marlon says in an agitated tone. God, not this again. Literally every conversation between these two ends up in some sort of conflict over how Marlon handled being held on gunpoint. I guess the idea of me putting Aasim in charge of Brody's safety only fueled the fire – but it's not like I had much of a choice, he knows how to calm her panicked state better than anyone. And that event certainly contributed to the frequency of her meltdowns.
„Okay, we're all a bit anxious, but let's stay cool." Paige tries to diffuse the situation, but to no avail.
Marlon proceeds talking himself in rage: „No, I'm not gonna stay fucking cool. I've been hearing this crap for a year now. A year. I fucked up, I did, and I was a total coward. I realized that. That's still not a reason for me to always be the first one to be picked for it. Am I the only one ever making mistakes here? Hardly. Why can't you just get off my back for once and fuck off with your guilt tripping, man?"
Aasim retorts with a poisoned expression: „There's a fine line between accidentally tripping over your own feet like Willy always does..."
„Hey!", Willy interjects, but is ignored.
„... and trying to freaking sell the twins to a bunch of assholes to save your own skin. They could've been murderers, rapists, cannibals or god knows what! Nobody cares how much you think you're the victim here. These guys should've taken YOU with instead!"
Before any of us could react to either of their outbursts, Sophie pust on the brakes: „STOP IT, RIGHT NOW!"
„But...", Aasim tries to continue, but is swiftly cut off again.
„NO BUTS! Just... stop. Let it go. Both of you. All of this constant fighting is so fucking petty. It happened. Not yesterday, not last week, a year ago. Let it go, damit. What you want me to do, demand that he's shot on sight? No. I was never afraid – because I knew that Asha was right behind us. She got us out of a shitty situation so many times now that I simply knew three addicts wouldn't be a challenge for her. Yeah, Marlie panicked, and he made bad choices – but this was a year ago! And he apologized every damn time that topic came up! Let's just stop this bickering! It's the same every week. He would've given me away, and guess what? I still forgive him. Hell, I'd even let him sleep with me, that's how little I care now."
What in the name of all things holy is going on here? And what have I done to deserve another Sophie speech... I respect that girl, but every dialogue she delivers sounds like she came straight out of a romantic comedy flick.
„... you know, I might just take you up on that offer.", Marlon replies to her speech. Unexpectedly, this results in half of them breaking out in some sort of laughing, even Paige to a point, while I cup my face with my right hand out of sheer hopelessness, Asha remains as stoic and unmoving as ever and Aasim seems like he's about to strangle both of them. Until an unexpected outside interruption occurs.
„That went from really fucked to really cute and brave aaand then back to really fucked again. I loveit. Keep it coming. The rest of you okay?"
„Oh, hi there, Jill.", Sophie reacts, before I jump in: „Evidently not. Also, knocking. I daresay Ruby has a point about the general lack of manners. What are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be, you know, working?"
She doesn't answer right away, instead showing off a bandaged left thumb. „Cut myself with a rusty nail. Thankfully got my tetanus shot before this whole shit started. I'll live. I'll just... stick around for a bit, if that's okay. I'm not gonna go out to the greenhouse again without Asha keeping tabs to ensure my... safety from venus flytrap bites and other deadly greenhouse concoctions."
„Thanks for the contribution, Jill. Not.", Marlon answers to that, chuckling.
„You're welcome... I'm just gonna sit riiight here, and pretend to listen.", she comments, sitting herself down on the same armchair Paige used to sit in just a few minutes ago.
Sophie takes her eyes onto Asha, her still not moving an inch: „Come on Ashe, not even that can get a giggle outta you? It even calmed the Righteous Aasim down."
Aasim, still quite unimpressed by what he just witnessed, answers to that: „I'm not fucking calm, but I said my piece. Do what you please... it's not worth it anyway."
„Underage girls offering to prostitute themselves to make peace between two wannabe alpha males doesn't quite meet my idea of humor, girlie.", Asha countered to Sophie's teasing. And I actually couldn't agree more.
„Ouch... that stings.", Marlon retorts with a light giggle.
„It's not prostitution, it's... an offer to keep the peace. Also, I'll turn eighteen in... well, soon, so that's not a problem.", Sophie responds.
„November 28th. In exactly 50 days.", I throw in.
„How'd you know that?", she asks me back.
„He does because someone has to be responsible around here... nah, just kidding. You wrote it onto the edge of this table about a year ago, remember? Look sharp.", Paige tells her.
„Ohhh, yeah... I had no idea. Must be why bossman isn't really a fan of us drinking.", Sophie says, mischievously sticking her tongue out, to which I could only shake my head with a faint smile. I can trust Jill to still have a sense of her surroundings when being intoxicated with a wide variety of substances, the teenagers on the other hand... no, just no.
I had no idea there even was anything written on the wooden surface of the desk. The reason why do I know their birthday without looking it up? It's the day of the year where Sophie is going completely off the rails wanting to throw a big party, while Minnie is nowhere to be seen and does her best to act like she doesn't know what her sister's even talking about. Always a very questionable atmosphere.
„So if that doesn't meet your sense of humor, what exactly does? Eight years and I still haven't figured it out." Now even Marlon is joining in trying to rile Asha up. Uh-oh.
„Evil stepmothers getting what they deserve? Anyone have a Cinderella VHS on hand?", Jill snickers.
„Having lost so much of your humanity that you joke about murder... I'm proud of you, in a horribly twisted and morally questionable way. Mademoiselle Serioúse certainly is aswell." I say, eyeing upon Asha, who in kind turns around with a displeased expression.
„Make fun of my accent again and I will cut your throat out. I don't care how cool you wish to be, smartass.", she threatens, to which I mockingly reply: „Oooh... alright, General. As you command."
Marlon, now having calmed down well enough, thankfully decides to focus on the mission again: „Anyway, that's about it. We're prepared – knives for everyone, Paige and Willy got their rifles, I got my bow, Aasim a shotgun, and Sophie loaned out... you know what she took from Louis. I'm not gonna say what he names it. It's stupid."
„Yeah, but my crossbow's still not working, so it's not like I have a choice, Also, it's Chairles, Marlie. One should always have respect for the qualities of furniture is what Lou would say about that.", Sophie throws in with a smirk.
Marlon tries his best to dismiss that. „Yeah yeah yeah, sure. Asha's armed as usual, and James will be waiting on stand-by, in case we're in danger of being overrun by something he hasn't dealt with yet. Does that sound reasonable? Yes, before you ask, we also got a few bags, in case we find anything worthwhile."
„Fine by me. Any further questions?", I concede and ask into the room, which leads to Sophie swiftly raising her hand and again throwing in a comment: „Yeah, about that... lemme just ask, why can't sis come with?"
Aasim thankfully answers in my stead, pointing at Marlon: „Nevermind our beef - do you honestly think that putting him and Minnie into the same spot is a good idea?"
„Why should me getting put in that spot instead be a better idea?", she responds putting her index finger on her lips in a display of curiosity.
„I'm pretty sure Marlon would rather be called cute nick names by you than live with the risk of Minnie cleanly beheading him at any given time." Aasim responds snickering.
„Oooh... that's smart. Thanks, smart Aasim. Or, like... Smaartsim?"
Which he answers with a very well known You are kidding me, right? look from his side: „Soph, please, never do that again."
She waves it off with a playful wink: „Sorry. And also sorry about my outburst just now... but it had to be. This'll never stop otherwise, you know. Like, I don't expect you two to hug, just... no fighting. Be nice."
Before this would turn weirdly uncomfortable again, Willy throws the hat into the round: „Um, can I just ask why I'm part of this expedition? I'd be more useful guarding the walls."
That I could tell him: „I need someone who actually pays attention instead of being woven into unethical teenager talk. That's where you come in. I hope."
„So... what about Tenn and Alex then? They're technically not teenagers either"", he counters.
„The last time either of them held a rifle, Alex starting shaking in fear and crying while Tenn almost immediately gave up the gun fearing he'd hurt someone with it. I think you're doing better than them in that regard, kiddo. You can do it.", Paige praises him.
„I'll take this as encouragement... I guess. Alright, I'm in. But I want seconds at dinner tonight. I spent an hour trying to lure that possum before it walked into the trap the last time.", Willy responds with a determined expression.
Oh lord, I have to warn him: „Right, right, right, fine. If you manage to find another one before the sun goes down – just do try not to get bitten. Both by the undead and these pesky little rodents. Otherwise I will probably lose that bet I made..."
„Against Sam? Again? Seems like I cannot leave you two alone without some anti-betting laws being broken.", Paige replies to that idea.
„What do you even bet with? Cash?", Jill throws in.
„Nah, it's gotta be postcards, right? That's what all old people collect.", Aasim adds to my displeasure.
„Ignoring the highly discriminatory and deeply hurtful implication you just made, my dear Pakistani friend... Yu-Gi-Oh cards." I proudly reply. And just as I say that, I could feel the deadpan expressions of everyone around me. Oh well. 'Seniors' have to entertain themselves too. At this point, I feel confident I have read through every single book available in this very library. Mr. Ericson was unfortunately not a man of widespread interests, so I didn't profit off of it that much other than having it hammered into my brain that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
„Seriously?" Marlon nonchalantly asks.
„Hey, she wants my Winged Dragon of Ra. Very beautiful design. She has to earn her property. Work before party.", I reply, clearly being amused by the reactions. „But anyhow, before this entire meeting turns out even more rememberable for most people involved, I do have to say to be quite pleased by your preparation to this little journey. No, really. All... well, most of you show a commendable degree of maturity. A far cry from the grade school age troublemakers that I first knew you as. Keep it up."
That speech is met with amazement from the younger ones. They surely didn't expect that to hear from me.
„I've rarely seen you actually praising these kids... what, are you going to mellow with age?", Paige replies to that, hands crossed with a stern look.
„I'm trying my hardest to appear sympathetic and in a good mood, but forgive me – if anybody makes another joke referencing my age, there is a slight chance I may break their jaws with this thing here.", I exclaim, stomping the cane into the wooden floor. „And Paige... you do know you're three years older than me? You're not quite in the position to partake in these so-called jokes."
„Oh hey, don't anger the man... but still, appreciated.", Marlon counters.
„Yeah, you normally always complain about the people here. A nice change of pace.", Aasim adds, to which Sophie replies: „To be fair, like 90% of his complaints are about Sam, Paige or us complaining about something else, so it's not like he's doing it for the shun of it. I think."
Indeed. „So you do pay attention. Wonderful. Anyway, as you all know, we've done quite the good job avoiding undead-related funerals for the past several years, and we all know how unpleasant these processions are in general, so at this point I believe I can trust you to enact sensible measures by your own doing, without me guiding on the leash." I turn my attention towards Asha, still standing with back turned towards us acting like she isn't paying attention at all. „And if something fails, well... you can rely on the one-woman support army with the barely functioning M16, right?"
„Riiiight. Sure. Just keep on hoping that the brown lady in the shadows will be the white knight to come in and save the day to rescue the poor and needy teenagers from themselves. That's gonna fucking work out in the long run." she replies in a gleeful tone.
„If you have some better ideas to spare, please, enlighten us with your words of wisdom..." Just as I attempt to find a proper finishing touch for this particular sentence, an idea comes to mind. Oh joy, she will not appreciate this whatsoever.
„As a matter of fact, I did just come up with an interesting proposal. Since you spend half of the limited time you're actually talking gloating about your abilities, why don't you do the community a collective solid and deliver some exposition concerning your talents to the little ones? Perhaps even a small demonstration? That would at least serve as a recipe to soften your complaints about having to play Blackwater special operative whenever a group moves beyond the walls. One more person capable of moving stealthily and providing efficient defense wouldn't hurt, now would it?"
As it turns out, she is so unimpressed by this idea that she actually bothers to turn around and face us: „You. Cannot. Be Serious."
„Let me think for a small second... oh yes, yes I am. I know that might be hard to realize, but this is something both you and Sam have to learn the hard way... whining about an issue without actively doing anything to fix it is a surefire way to not get rid of said issue. You're a smart girl, you've figured this out, methinks. The more you care to share your tricks and secrets, the more time you can invest into things that don't involve bodyguarding teenagers... might even have some more wiggle room to do whatever the heck you do when you and Jill are sharing the greenhouse."
And on cue, Jill throws herself into the conversation without being prompted: „Hate to break your hot lesbian action fantasies, but lemme tell you... nothing happens. Fact of the matter is, that's why I enjoy her presence. She's doing me a solid helping me out without being a blabbermouth interrupting my flow. That's a valuable trait to have these days."
„... you mind repeating your first sentence, I must've misheard something.", I respond in slight disbelief. I just love how everyone continues to make assumptions about my sexual preferences. As if that was in any way, shape or form relevant to anyone.
„Nope." she responds, cackling as if she just got me. Funny.
„I don't think I'm particularly interested in your weird fantasies. I also you're all doing a good job of heavily overestimating what I can do. I'm not some fucking Navy SEAL. Even if I did learn my shit from one." Asha tries her best to make herself look not as competent a survivor as she is. Trying so hard not to have to spend time playing responsible adult. Adorable.
„Aw come on, don't sell yourself short. You're pretty damn good at what you do. Lord knows I would be on edge all the time if I wasn't sure you was looking out for me. Can't you just not be negative for once and make a motivational speech and stuff? Even Hawkeye over there can, so not all hope is lost.", Jill tells her from across the room, stretching herself because sitting is too much work apparently.
Asha looks at us with a highly sceptical expression on her face, simply exclaiming in an increasingly noticeable accent: „Alright, fine, fuck it... congrats Birdman, that's one for your scorecard. Allow me to be honest one time – playing babysitter for anyone absolutely pisses me off to no end. But guess what also pisses me off? Playing teacher. So... as you could probably guess, I'm in a dilemma here. What the fuck do you expect me to do? Hold classes and hand out scorecards?"
„No, not really... but not ignoring questions would come a long way. No one's gonna learn shit without proper explanations. It's like that every time whenever someone tries to talk to you – you act like that person's not even there. If you don't want to be a solo act, then don't act like you love being one all the time." I always find myself impressed at how precisely Aasim manages to bring heavily convoluted points across. He's even improving in that regard. Listening to Zoria talking has a positive effect on everyone's argumentative skills, it appears. Almost. Poor me.
„Yeah, I always wanted to know how you do that one move where you run on the wall sideways and then kick someone's neck in. That one is so frickin' cool. But you always make up some sort of excuse why you can't or won't show me how. That really blows." Willy too contributes his issues. Being ignored seems to be a problem he's regularly confronted with, unfortunately. He's smarter than he looks, and nobody will acknowledge that.
„Aw, a group meeting turned into guilt tripping an old lady. How completely not unexpected. Although I have to say, these stories aren't news to me. Perhaps you to need a refresher for all things concerning socialization, hm?" The mocking tone in my voice almost hurts my own ears. It's only a matter of time until someone breaks my nose when I provoke them too much. Marlon can tell me all about that, I'm sure...
„Oh, is that so? Then tell why the fuck didn't I hear any of this bef..." she begins lamenting, but then stops herself mid-sentence, with a look of self-realization befalling her face, which she tries to shake off, failing miserably and sighing in defeat. „Ah, mon Dieu. Fine, you got me that time. I'll admit defeat, if that's what you wanted to hear. Frankly, I didn't think anyone would genuinely care. I always thought those moves looked pretty dumb. My oh so dear father taught me everything one could possibly know about guns and explosives, but not the hand-to-hand combat... came up with all of that on my own."
What could I describe the looks the other guys gave each other after making that statement? Visible confusion? „No... they actually look damn rad. I'd like to know how you got the idea that they're not. Honestly, I'm almost certain you're the coolest person on the entire planet. You remember what happened last year? If it wasn't for you... me and sis would be fighting wars for a bunch of creepy old druggies and Marlie would've lost his head." Sophie exclaims, following up: „Sooo... that is just one of the many reasons why people even ask you about this stuff."
„Alright, general inquiry: Shut the fuck up and stop trying to sweet-talk me, and I'll be nicer the next time around. Fine? Sheesh... it's not like I fucking hate all of you. If I did, I wouldn't constantly risk my skin to save yours. Tone it down." Dismissive as usual, but at least it's moving in the right direction.
Aasim presses on: „That's literally all we ask for... not trying to bug you, I know you hate company, but still, we're all a team here."
„We try to be at least... hey, so, now we got that out of the way, can you show me how to do that one neckbreaker move? That'd be so cool.", Willy adds.
„I can... but I somehow doubt that you're tall enough to make it work. Gotta keep on growing on for a few more years, little tyke.", to which he replies with a look of doubt, but it's obvious he's glad she at least gave him a proper reply.
„I wonder if all of that training or this mission are really, really necessary. I mean, we're not exactly starving or facing the Daleks anytime soon." Sophie throws in. Well, all of it is certainly more necessary than her constant pop culture references.
„It's not an emergency, but who knows how many supplies there may still be. It's worth checking at least. More people means better defense and better offense. We can't just leave James hanging either, he's done almost all of the work so far." Marlon confirms to her.
„A whole three minutes without causing too much of an argument. Marvellous. For the time being, color me convinced. Now, with all due respect, finish your preparation and leave the, ahem, grandfather be." I reply. Yes, I'm indeed convinced, but all this talking gives me a striking headache. I'm so not used to multiple people speaking in succession anymore.
„You're trying to throw them out again? It's only been like ten minutes." Paige, why can't you simply stop talking back for once...
„Not for you it wasn't. You've been occupying my personal space for what appears to me like ten days. Look out for Alex, him not having shown throughout the morning desperately trying to make me give him the white rooks again appears suspicious. Now, farewell." I try my hardest to have her dismissed, as I can barely concentrate whenever she's in the same room. And I don't know whether it's because I find her that annoying or something else I'd rather not have become true.
And yet, she still is not finished: „He's 12 years old, he can take of himself just fine. He needs a bit of support, but not constantly. I'm not his mom. Think I'll have to refuse your offers for now."
„If you happen to speculate that this was an offer instead of an order, you are most certainly mistaken, little lady." So much for my executive powers.
„You're mistaken if you think you have the power to throw me out of anything. Try it. I dare you." she throws back.
„Holy shit, get a room guys, seriously." Marlon stops the bickering, though not the way I would have liked him to.
Well, this is certainly helpful to the situation. „We did get a room. I'm quite confident the two of us have shared this room for the past fifteen hours. Nothing of note happened, apart from her almost getting her hand clipped between two folders."
„The sexual tension is off the rockers between you two." A mischievously smirking redhead throws in, immediately being shut down: „Umm... I wasn't the one who offered herself to a guy to keep the peace, Sophie. Already forgotten?" Paige replies to that remark.
„I sure as hell haven't. Hell, I'd even let him sleep with me, that's how little I care now. True romance. Shakespeare ain't got shit on that." Jill throws in from the sidelines.
I refrain from any sort of sexist implication about this entire affair, simply walking back to the desk chair and sitting down, not paying any attention to my surrounding any longer. I sit down, put both my elbows on my desk and my index fingers on my temples. What a headache, quite literally. Asha is the first one to get the message, leaving without a word. Smart girl. Paige follows shortly thereafter, turning and leaving after giving me one last sceptical look, a sly smile and a head shake. And I'm of course staring at her the whole time. I need to get my head straight. Aasim turns out to be sensible enough to come up with a talking point that convinces the rest of his compatriots to follow suit. Willy is the last one to leave, handing me a deck of poker cards that I told him to search for in the attic, in case Louis again forgets where he put his before playing his immature games again, and he's even nice enough to close the door behind him.
And after what seems like half an eternity, I'm finally alone again... well, almost. A certain florist with a flair for pot smoking and explicit jokes would simply not move from the spot she made herself comfortable in, which I answer with a very typical look of disbelief: „Now that I finally got Paige out of his room, you decide to spread your wings instead. With all due respect – can I just have a very short time for myself? We are bound to have plenty of community discussion at the weekly meeting tomorrow."
Of course Jill the Curious Sloth (not an insult, she literally called herself that in her goodbye note from the boarding school back in 2000) can't just let it go: „Just, out of pure morbid interest and stuff – what exactly is going on between you, Paige and Zoria? Some sort of triangle thing I don't know about yet? Not kink-shaming or anything."
„Why do you all constantly assume the worst in every situation? Let me ask you something out of 'morbid interest' – did you ask Minerva the same question regarding whatever's going on between her, Violet and Louis? Oh no wait, you didn't, because she'd most likely rip this silly piercing out of your nose if you did. You're such an insensitive bellend sometimes, it's beyond ridiculous." I appreciate Jill's work and what she's doing for the community, I really do, but any sort of conversation with her is a drag that almost always in her unwittingly insulting you or your lifestyle with baseless assumptions and crude jokes.
She leans forward from the chair, shrugging: „C'mon, can't cut the Camp Grandma some slack? It's not like I'm around y'all 24/7. I barely ever escape that darn greenhouse. Can't let my pumpkins and my A-class recreational marijuana dry up."
„That is about the third age-related pun I've heard today. How creative." I answer with a few short sarcastic claps.
„Give me sum – just a little taste. Like, what's going on with you and Zoria. I mean, you're sleeping in the same room, same bed, so... doesn't look purely platonic to me."
„How should I argue this nicely and discretly – she's not my girlfriend, she's my bed-warmer. Quite literally. Nothing sexual going on. That's pretty much all there is to say." Does she realize how deeply uncomfortable this line of questioning... who am I kidding, she knows exactly.
„Come on, seriously? Sleeping in the same bed with nothing sexual going on? You're 24 and she's 22 and playing some act of innocence I don't buy. That can't be it."
„There's nothing going on. Before you ask, there isn't with Paige either. Why exactly are we even having this conversation? I don't have to justify myself to you."
Jill doesn't answer immediately, instead getting up and stretching a bit: „Hey, at least I ain't gonna fucking bugger you about child wishes, so that's gotta be an improvement, amirite?"
Thinking about it... maybe being a little more open right now will spare me from having to take any more of her questions later on. „Thankfully. Not that you also get the idea. I know Asha won't. But Zoria has been pretty adamant about it – to the point of nearing sexual harassment. An unfortunate predicament to be the sole actual adult male in a community with five women in their 20s. Godspeed Zed, be glad you've got relieved of those worries at least. My curse or my blessing for that matter is that find the idea of causing anyone's pregnancy to be thoroughly uninteresting, so I suppose Lady Northernlights won't have a choice, other than either convincing any of the teenage boys who are barely over the legal age or praying to the Biblical God for another Mother-Mary miracle. However the course may be, I shall have no part in it."
„Why though? I mean, I know why I won't – I ain't willin' to stay clean and sober for nine months just for a little brat that'll keep me awake at night – so what's your reasoning? I mean, I can get you some... supplements if the man down there refuses to put in the work."
Oh my sweet summer child. If only you knew. „Ha. Very funny. First the jokes about my age, then about my disability, then about my supposed lack of... you know. Unfortunately, from a mental perspective, I'm long past the point of no return when it comes to not taking unsolicited advice and tactless jokes into account, especially when either of them verge on bullying."
She proceeds to mockingly clap at my remarks. „Shit, you ain't tellin' me stuff I don't know already. That still don't answer the question though."
How I can portray this as nicely as possible? „No, it doesn't. Because it's hardly your concern. Now, I beg your pardon, leave my office."
„Oh, gimme a break – it's hard enough to find any room with proper seating that isn't constantly occupied by noisy teenagers." - No, no it is not. What an outlandish excuse.
„Come on, Jill. Come on." Shockingly, she actually listens to me this time: „Alright, alright. But if my wound gets infected 'cause of the unacceptable stress you just put on me, it's gonna be your health insurance paying the bills. See ya."
Gods, sometimes I truly despise the human race. A sentiment most likely not helped by my lacking patience for overtly juvenile discussion. To my misfortune on that matter, almost every individual living on school grounds either is a literal child or still acts like they were, through one behavioral trait or another... then again, as if I'm much better. I feel as if I haven't grown as a person in the past 16 years.
I turn my eyes to the clock on the desk again, first noticing its ticking once the room was cleared out and it turned all silent apart from this nuisance. The only thing that impresses me even less is than Jill's mocking tone is this distinct smell of water roses and mint perfume... oh no. She's done changing, isn't she? Just what I needed. I move my head up from the desk, and there she is – in all of her glory and fame... or is it infamy?
„Bed-warmer? You've got to be joking. Thanks for showering me in warm reception." I can tell she wasn't very impressed by my remarks. Huh.
„What do you want me to say, that I ravage the living daylights out of you on a nightly basis? Because anyone's buying that. Hilarious." I dryly respond. I'm unsure what she expected.
She begins walking across the room, in the direction of the small metal chest where she keeps her brushes for some reason. „No... but at least some sort of basic courtesy would be appreciated. Because believe it or not, I do my utmost to present you in a good light whenever you come up in any conversations I have, as hard as it may be sometimes. You can be such an insensitive jerk at times and you don't even seem to be bothered by it."
„Oh, grow up, Zoria Svensson. Seriously. You're not the center of the universe.", I reply, throwing my hands up in frustration. This confrontation does nothing to alleviate my headache, quite the opposite.
Just as she has picked out the brush – her favorite one, as heavenly blue as most of the dresses she wears, she turns around, clearly being unamused: „See, this is exactly my point. No thank you for your efforts, no how are you doing today... instead, Phoenix Blackwood, Mr. I'm a tryhard stoic philosopher who can't get over his own faults and misdeeds, wants to give me a lecture about lacking maturity. Lovely.", crossing her hands in a demanding stance: „Let me tell you something - one day, you will have to grow up and realize that it's not only your feelings that matter. Before it's too late and..." she stops herself, before saying something she will regret, I suspect.
„Before it's too late and what? I lose you? Or the general approval of the group? Or myself? You speak in riddles, dear child." Sometimes it's scary how much I sound like... no wonder I'm constantly reminded of my 'advanced' age when taking my speaking inspirations from staunch professional in his mid-40s.
„No... before you lose your sisters forever." I should've seen it coming. That guilt-trip again. Fine then.
„Oh, don't even go there." I almost shout back with a deadly glare. „Whatever communicational issues I have with my sisters are hardly any of your concern."
„But I will go there. It doesn't matter how hard you may try to scarcely let on what's inside of you... I know you well enough to read the solemn look in your eyes whenever they leave after a short visit." She comes up to my desk, resting her right hand on it. „Maybe, just maybe... you should consider coming clean and telling people what they want... or need to hear. Trust me, nobody cares for this... childish wounded warrior crap."
The gall this woman has at times is unspeakable. How she can conjure up this sort of argument without blushing like mad out of embarrassing hypocrisy is almost impressive.
„Yeah... because you are so honest and open about your past, right?" I blurt back... which I regret immediately.
„What the hell are you insinuating here?" she asks. Did I mention yet that I should keep my mouth shut sometimes? I think so. The last thing I wish to accomplish is to make people think I know more than I let on.
„Forget about it. But one thing you shouldn't forget is that I don't have to justify myself to you either. Not to anyone, in fact. Do you think I'm unaware of your frustrations? About the fact I don't quite reciprocate your feelings and that I'm not as open to the... procreation themes as you are? I'll make myself clear here: I've already raised two children. My deed is done. I refuse to go through this again. If this is such a major concern for you, maybe ask Mitch. I hear he likes mature women. Then again, I wouldn't be so sure that description applies to either you or Samantha..."
I'll admit, that may have been a scummy move, but it's going to sting. Whatever it takes for me to achieve solitude. „You're unbelievable. Why do you always have to be so cruel towards me every time I show you any signs of affection? Do you enjoy pushing people away from you?" she replies, her voice slightly shaky and with a small glimpse of tears on the corner of her eyes... well, I've gone too far to stop now. Might aswell end it with fireworks.
„See the you're not the center of the universe section. I can't recall having requested you joining me at the bedside – you evidently don't give a cahoots about my feelings, or boundaries for that matter, what incentive does that give me to care about yours? And that's hardly a you problem, maybe Paige needs to learn that lesson aswell."
„Yes... surprise, there are people out there who genuinely care about you. Because you can be considerably nice if you're not a total scumbag for no justifiable reason. Perhaps if you showed them just a fraction of the kindness they show you, you'd get somewhere. But, gotta play the hard man instead whenever you're confronted by that fact."
This discussion is going beyond my frontiers – I once again stand up from the chair I am sitting in, this time with more force and swiftness to really sell the illusion of anger. „Let me be frank, just so that even you can understand it: Every person I ever truly cared about... is dead."
She stands directly in front of the desk, once again crossing her arms, with a sly smile despite tears beginning to stream down her face. „Suuure... you don't care about your sisters, me, Paige, or any of the other kids for who you stick your neck out. That's why lost that leg to save Ruby... because you don't care. You're an abhorrently terrible liar, Birdie."
I look her in the eyes as sternly as I possibly could, answering with a monotonous voice: „If I could sacrifice all of you to get a chance to fix the failings I could've prevented all those years ago. I would. This is the reality."
And about as I expected, this comment leads to a stunned silence from her part, a whole flood of tears and shaking. I keep my gaze on her, though I can barely keep it up. My heart feels like it's breaking. „You... you just don't get it, do you? Then again... I doubt you ever will." she manages to stutter out, having difficulties even finding the right words.
Alright, at least I'm almost done. Just put the finishing touch on it. „Yes, of course not. Bollocks. And stop calling me 'Birdie', you daft git. Will you bugger off, please? Best regards and everything."
„Go to hell, you son of a bitch.", she utters with a hateful look in her eyes, walking out, not before slamming the door shut. Aren't I a convincing scumbag at times? Even if that means I have to sleep without an additional source of heat for the next few weeks at least... thinking about it makes it an even poorer decision thanks to the constantly falling night temperatures. Good lord, what am I doing with my life. I can't stand this act.
Before I could start damning myself again, I see a small black mass enter the room from the corner of my eye – probably having entered through a tiny crack in the attic floor, as usual. Ignoring him doesn't work, because this little devil is far smarter than anyone could ever expect, for reasons that are beyond explainable to anyone, even myself. A once proud man – some would say a dragon even – reduced to a small black crow with wrinkled toes instead. What a devolution. The bird decides to sit down directly onto the table, with an empty look that says more than a thousand books.
„I've been expecting you, Fuego.", I utter, welcoming him back yet again.
„Considerably impressive, boy. I've yet to recall a singular occasion where my words did more damage to this wounded girl's soul. May I interest you in the practical application of a few select torture devices? If we're already stepping into the path of destructive personal relationships and so forth."
„You're joking, right? That felt beyond abhorrent. It's hard to believe there are human beings out there who are this dismissive for their own enjoyment. And yes, before this question arises, that includes yourself."
I move away from the back of the desk yet again, in expectation of bad news from his side, as usual. I'm standing upright already, so... I might aswell begin stacking those chairs I laid out for the meeting again. Disorder is the first step towards anarchy. Sorry, Jill, not supporting your lawless visions.
„It may present itself slightly uncomfortable at first glance, but behold, once your heart is as cold as the winters you live through, it will become a task of duty. Then again, I do have a slew of several questions regarding why you have the idea in your head that this is necessary behaviour."
„Because I have an image to uphold. The more vulnerability you show, the more people are going to use it to their advantage. A lesson I've learned a lifetime ago. That's the beauty of mistakes – they're just the most exquisite learning mechanism." If I didn't know it better myself, I'd think he was cackling at me. Quite the evil bastard that he is.
„Well, concerning the educational value of mistakes, I would strongly suggest you learn from the exceptionally foolish mistakes my naive younger brothers made and keep your emotions in check regarding the imbecile that is unfortunately my half-sister. As my ancient yet sharp mind can tell from a fortnight away, you seem to have developed somewhat of a fondness for her." he insinuates while using his beak to rummage through my documents, for no other reason than his own entertainment.
„Of course I have. How could I not, I beg of you? She's roundabout the closest thing to an angel walking on Earth. If I had any actual honour to spare, I would walk right after her and... gosh. I must've gone mad. I'd argue it's about time I start to seriously reconsider my options. I don't plan on bedding nor wedding her, if that's your concern. I... think about it, sometimes, yes. But I cannot see myself acting on those urges."
„A very intelligent approach not to continue the misguided incestual practices that befall our bloodlines on an almost generational basis. Now, humility may not be a quality I've collected fame for, but even I myself have to admit to have committed this feeble-minded mistake once. It shall not occur again, even when looking at the eminently improbable possibility of my return to human form. And it would be very much in your best interest to plan a similar approach. You've stayed away from lusting after your own sisters thus far, which already is commendable in itself seeing as they've turned into quite exceptional beauties..."
Not this topic again. We've gone through this before. „One of them looks almost exactly like a mirror image of myself and the other I heavily presume to not be interested in male companionship. Not to mention the unfortunate fact that, you know, I've raised them myself. I've found some difficulty in the idea of non-platonic attraction to someone whose diapers I've changed about a millennium's worth of times."
„Very well-behaved, as I've said. I suspect the larger issue you're personally facing is the mutual affection between yourself and my dear sweet... you know. As you've most certainly heard before in whatever partisan history book you've found in the family library, Ravenman aswell as Redhorse have brilliantly managed to both ruin and humiliate themselves for just the smallest glimmer of attention from her side. The moment you decide to partake in sexual activities or any other dubious demands she may conjure up, you've already begun digging the first layer of your eventual grave. I'm aware you might feel a tad bit of guilt having made her break out in tears of sorrow, but behold, these tears will dry up as swiftly as they've appeared. That woman is an outright masterful manipulator. I would scarcely trust her cleaning my boots. Just the knowledge in itself that my idiot brothers decided to fall for this theatrical act should give you some hints that they weren't quite as knowledgeable as they thought they were."
„Then again, I've some doubts about the veracity of your advice's genuine motives. As the history books recall in all such gory detail, your bloodline has spent a grand total of 64 years trying to overthrow mine. What exactly do you imagine to achieve with this 'elder sage mentor' kind of performance?"
This guy has some gall ridiculing the trustworthiness of others. He's observant and well-educated, I'll give him that, but his self-awareness is about equal to that of the brick wall encasing the room.
„I'm a prisoner in the body of a small and insignificant bird, and I have been for over a century. The prospect of returning to human form would be the sole motivator to construct conspiracies, and this particular hope has been done and dusted longer than the rest of your pitiful nuclear family, I can assure you. To be as veracious as my ludicrously small brain mass allows me to be, I factually prefer this appearance as of now. It allows for discretion and is a much more effective tool of surveillance. As you most likely know in all too much detail, everyone has questions about those with silver locks and purple eyes. No one bats an eye at one single wretched crow. Let me just argue that you've been a better and wiser listener to my suggestions than any of my disgraceful children could've even dreamed to be. I do sometimes develop sympathy for those who are not immedialy dismissive of myself purely based on historical backgrounds. Or, well, in your case, let us describe it with the 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' trope. I have no particular sympathies for the main bloodline, and neither do I for dear sister. To be more specific, I would enjoy the idea of her being burnt at the stake, with agonizing screams. One needs to have some goals in life to keep himself going."
„Would you do me the honors and spare me from any of the internalized homicidal fantasies you might have developed over the years? As you may have noticed, I don't resort to executions unless there are very justified reasons for them to occur."
It's been enough of an unpleasantry already dealing with the three intruders last year. I'd rather not resort to head-rolling punishment anytime in the foreseeable future.
„There is no reason for any moral lecture here. No matter what you irresponsibly argue in her defense, I would quite entertain the idea of cutting her throat from behind. What do you consider so horrible about a little attempted sororicide? It would be different if she was some completely innocent maid that did no harm to anyone, which clearly is not the case here. I despise this woman's high and mighty attitude to an extent beyond words. How she managed to convince my brothers to find her desirable is beyond my abilities of logical explanation."
„Fine, whatever you believe. However, I strongly doubt that you've come here solely to rant about her existence, particularly as you're already partaking in that notion whenever we interact for more than five seconds. I suspect you have some information to share?" I turn back towards the desk, yet again making eye contact. I've never been much of a fan of unnecessarily prolonged discussions. One of the reasons why even the weekly meetings seldomly exceed a quarter of an hour.
„Why yes, young one. Call it foreshadowing or a feeling of unease, but I strongly suggest you'd meet some preparations for additional admissions."
„So... that way of phrasing means I won't have to dig up this cursed greatsword?" I can tell I have a somewhat hopeful expression on my face, which of course falls completely flat after getting the response I didn't wish to receive.
„That's what you hoped for, huh? I'm not a fortune teller quite yet. I can tell you it's most likely a flock of teenagers, so make of that what you will."
I can't hear it, but I can feel the mocking attitude he displays. Perfect. That is just about shaping to be a flawless day. So, this means I'll have to saddle up my old pal for what is more likely than not a false alarm, and either I'll have to get on him myself risking yet another mobility-hindering fracture, or suffer through the humiliation of having Paige help me get on it like a five year old who never climbed upon a horse before in his life. Thank you so much, destiny. At least Barry's like any other animal and not capable of telepathic communication like this particular feathered example sitting in front of me.
„If you have any other semi-helpful remarks to offer, spare me. But, you can instead carry out some actual work." I respond, taking a block of small notes out of my pocket, placing it on the desk and writing a few lines with my trusty old feather and ink combo.
„Would you do me the heralding honors and deliver this message to the fishing shack? Raven is normally bored to tears on Sundays anyhow. I'd write down she shouldn't take Mavis with her, but then again, there's no chance whatsoever she'll take my opinion on that matter into consideration. Just in case there's need for a quick delivery back to the main base. And dear almighty mare Athena will certainly not mind some gallopping exercises, I presume. While you're busy with that, you may excuse me, as... oh well, I have a sword to dig up, and unfortunately no more time to spare for your murderous imagination regarding my second in-command."
„Whatever enlightens you day, child. However, one final notice of advice: Be careful with the hilt in the name of all gods. The last time you swung it to execute royal justice, it almost got scratched."
And with this final contribution, he swings his wings, moving up up and away back in the direction of the attic. Now I've at least achieved the solitude I craved... as if this is going to last too long.
Thank you for nothing... Entropy.