Thirty
Emily had known that she would see Leah here, but she had not expected Leah to open the door. In the last few days, they had only texted a few times back and forth. Emily had said:
I miss you.
Can we talk?
It had been so late when Emily reached out, nearly 2:00 A.M. but Leah had texted back right away:
Just got home. I'll text you tomorrow.
It had stung, a bit, for Emily. The rebuke. She had reached out, truly missing her cousin and Leah had just brushed her off. She had stood, shivering suddenly, in the living room of her partially demolished house, until Sam had left their bed to come find her. He put his fiery hand against the goosebumps on her arm and she had leaned back into him. She was still staring at the black screen of her phone, waiting and hoping for another replay.
"I told her I missed her," she whispered into the dark. "She said she'd text me tomorrow."
Sam had reached down, cradling the swell of her belly, taking a bit of the weight in his hands, and kissed her neck. "It's late. You need to sleep." Sam didn't make excuses for Leah; she did what she wanted, and always would.
Emily swayed under his palm, yawning, exhaustion felt like a throbbing sadness against her mind. "Come to bed," he'd coaxed, and she followed him, leaving her phone on the counter in the kitchen. Hoping to banish disappointment and fear from her thoughts for the remainder of the night.
She had slept, fitfully, against the heat of Sam's body. The pregnancy made her feel like a furnace, and Sam, with his unnaturally high body temperature loved to spoon while he slept, and she often woke up in a cloying sweat.
The next morning, she waited for Leah to respond. Sam had left at midday to deal with the new wolves who had transformed and talk to Billy Black about the new vampire that the Cullen's had let move into their home. Around noon Emily started working on her creative projects. She taught tribal arts at the high school on the reservation and only needed to physically go into work twice a week. Currently she was working on a decorative blanket that she hoped to give to her baby when it was born, but she also planned on using it as an example of textile design in her next class.
Leah hadn't texted her back until late, nearly five o'clock, and when Emily read it, she deflated.
I miss what we used to be.
Biting her lip, Emily replied.
I miss what we could be now.
Another day went by by without a reply.
Emily was in class, helping a group of boys with their bead work when her phone buzzed in her pocket. At first, she thought it was Sam, he liked to tease her on beadwork days with silly commentary that if someone as hot as her had been in his beadwork class he might have actually gone, instead of skipping class all those years.
She had been surprised when the text was from Leah.
You broke my heart.
The words had been so raw when Emily read them. She knew it. In Leah's eyes, Emily had taken Sam away from her. Sam and Leah had been dating, on and off, for years. She knew they had lost their virginity to each other, and on Halloween when Leah had been so excited for her cousin to her first serious boyfriend to hang out, Sam had looked into her eyes and immediately imprinted on her.
"Leah, who is it?" Charlie asked. The silence of Leah and Emily staring at each other must have alerted him from the living room.
Leah heard her mother speak from the other room. Then, as Emily and Leah still examined each other, Leah felt her mother's hand on her shoulder.
Emily broke the stare first. "Hi, Auntie," she said lovingly. Leah could see that Emily was tearing up a little at the sight of her aunt.
"Emmy," Sue crooned. Opening her arms, the gesture inviting her niece inside.
Leah stepped back, watching her mother fold her cousin up into her embrace. It was awkward. Emily's pregnancy kept her back a bit, and she was still holding the blue bowl in one hand.
"I'll take that," Leah said, grabbing the bowl. Her voice was a little icy, and she didn't wait for Emily to hand it over before taking it. Once it was in her hand she retreated to the kitchen. She couldn't ignore the softness of her mother's face when she spoke Emily's name or the exaggerated way that they embraced. Sue didn't even hug Leah that way.
She could hear Emily saying how much she missed Sue, and the sound of Emily's tears were real now.
Ignoring everything, Leah pulled the tin foil back from the bowl. It was filled with homemade chili. From the corner of her eye, Leah saw Renesmee emerge from the bathroom, moving quietly back to the living room where she was met, Leah noticed, by her mother's open-ended questions. The happy reunion going in in the entryway between Sue and her niece was going completely unnoticed by everyone, except for Leah.
She heard her mother say," Your bump, oh my god! How does this happen?"
Emily's voice turned cheeky. "You have two kids, I'm sure you know how this happens."
They both laughed. The sound was uproarious, full of years of missed conversations.
Leah gritted her teeth. She had been to the Swan house enough to know where to find the serving spoons and she moved hastily to get one, keeping her back turned to the others to throw the tin foil away. It hadn't been raining before when she ran out to her car, but she could see through the bay windows in the kitchen that it was now. The finest specs of rain falling in sheets. It reminded Leah of her mood.
Leah heard footsteps behind her as she began to stir the chili. The bowl was still warm. Leah imagined Emily pulling it from the oven less than an hour ago, she imagined Sam somewhere in that tiny house on the beach, one arm around Emily's shoulders, and the other cradling her huge abdomen.
"Leah?" Sue asked from the doorway. "Did you know that Emily was coming?"
Leah stopped stirring the chili, looking up, her back was still to the doorway.
Emily broke the awkward silence. "She invited me." Emily's voice was light and untroubled. "It's not every day that your baby cousin is going to be on television."
Truthfully, it had been less of an invitation and more of a quick emotionless text at midnight the night before that read:
Seth is playing in the UDUB football game tomorrow. We're watching it at the Swan house. Come if you want.
Leah signed in relief.
"Sorry I'm so late," Emily went on. "I had to stop twice to pee. Every five minutes, I swear."
Sue gushed. "Where is Sam, did he come with you?"
Leah's blood boiled, suddenly furious with her mother, for bringing up Sam's name, for still having her arm around Emily's gargantuan frame, for being so okay with everything. As though, nothing had ever happened. "Obviously not, mom, or he'd be here with her," Leah spat.
Emily tilted her head toward her aunt, sympathetic and apologetic. "He had to work, but he said he'd keep in touch with the score. He's going to root for Seth in spirit."
"I made chili," Emily added, changing the subject.
"Oh, I can smell it," Sue gushed. "Charlie, Emily's here, and she brought chili."
Leah turned to face them, but she kept her head down for the most part.
Charlie wandered up from the chair. Leah figured that it must be half time already.
"Look at you!" Charlie exclaimed when he caught sight of Emily. "You look so thin, have you lost weight?"
Emily laughed and they embraced. Leah's eyes darted up and she saw Emily cradling her stomach while even Charlie reached out to rub the painfully large mound.
"When are you due?" Charlie asked?
"November," Emily told him. "Right after Halloween."
Leah bit the inside of her cheek. Of course, that baby would be born around Halloween.
Charlie took a long whiff of the chili. "Smells amazing."
Leah handed him a bowl, which he immediately began to consume. Leah raised an eyebrow, wondering if he had done anything besides drink beer that day. She handed another bowl to Sue, and the to Renesmee when she wandered in.
"Bella, do you want some chili?" Sue asked from the kitchen.
Bella hovered in the door. "No thanks, I'm not hungry."
"Your too thin, Bells. Way too thin."
"She eats a lot at home, Papa," Renesmee explained. Covering for her mother's lack of a human appetite.
"Oh, this is so good, Emily," Sue said, taking another large spoonful to her mouth.
"Hell yeah it is!" Charlie said, cleaning his bowl.
They heard the TV commentator mention Seth's name. "Oh my god!" She exclaimed, retreating back to the living room. She dragged Emily and Renesmee with her.
Charlie hovered in the kitchen after Sue left, eyeing Leah, who was still looking down, examining the floor.
He meandered, shuffling foot to foot, putting his dirty bowl into the sink, and balancing his half empty can of Rainier Beer in one cupped palm. "You, okay?" He asked her.
Leah looked up, gave him a quick nod. "Yep, I'm good." Charlie had never attempted to get into the step-dad phase with her. No one could ever replace Harry Clearwater, and even though he and Sue were not married, and as far as Leah was aware, they had no intention to do so, she appreciated that he had never tried.
With her eyes downcast again, Leah watched Charlie take a few steps toward the refrigerator. He opened it slowly, perusing the contents with a deliberate care, before he plucked out an unopened can of beer. He handed it to her, wordlessly, and she took it from him just as quietly. He gave her a comforting smile, but was careful not to touch her, he wasn't that brave. After he left Leah pulled the top off and drank deeply. Feeling made at everyone and everything. She was desperate to be alone, but she knew this sadness would haunt her if she left.
Leah was half way through the can of beer when Emily walked in. She had come wearing a more traditional t-shirt with a Quileute design for a raven on it, it was tight and showed off her very pregnant frame. Charlie must have given her a purple University of Washington baseball cap, because it covered her head now, and Leah had not seen it before.
"Can I…" Emily seemed to take in Leah's stance, slightly slouched with her back to the countertop, sternly studying the fluctuating weather outside. It had stopped raining while she watched, and the partial shaft of sunlight was illumining the red and gold foliage on the trees outside the Swan house. "Stand," she added carefully, "With you?"
Leah took another drag from the beer can. "Sure."
Emily approached her cautiously. Taking up a leaning stance against the counters directly opposite Leah. "Thank you for inviting me." Emily's hand was cupped against her lower abdomen and Leah's eyes darted there, following the maternal gesture of her body. Emily noticed, and moved her hand away. Leah though she saw shame on Emily's face. "It's fine."
Emily had registered Leah's stare, and she moved her hand away, trying to avoid the very obvious complication of Sam's child growing inside her body.
Leah shrugged. "It's not every day that Seth is on the TV."
"I know," Emily gushed. "He looks so much taller than the last time I saw him. So much more grown up."
"It's been years," Leah noted. And it had. Emily and Leah had once been as close as sisters, but after Sam everything fell away. Emily's mother Janet had been around a lot after Leah's father died, but Emily had stayed away, knowing that her presence would cause Leah even more pain than she was already in.
Emily nodded at the truth of Leah's observation. Her hand went unconsciously to her belly, but she quickly corrected herself and moved it away, tucking it into her pocket. "I really have missed you, Leah."
There was a commotion from the living room, a succession of hollers and hoots. Leah recognized her mother's excited chatter. "Another touchdown, I'll bet," she said, conspiratorially.
Emily smiled, the scars on her face rippled up in the movement and Leah looked away again, concentrating on her alcohol.
"It's weird," Emily said, changing the subject again. Leah saw her whole body turn toward the living room, pointing at Bella, "To have a vampire so close by. It kind of makes my skin crawl."
"Tell me about it."
"Are you too," Emily gestured at Bella, "Close?"
"No," Leah said resolutely. "I haven't seen her or Renaissance in a long time. It's Sue and Charlie that are close nowadays."
Emily bit back a remark about Renesmee's name, instead she asked, "She doesn't live here, does she?"
Leah almost chocked on the sip of beer that she had just taken. "No. Oh god, no. Well, I think Charlie wants her to, and she probably does to, but the house…" Searching her mind for the right words, Leah continued, "It's the house where we grew up, the house where Dad lived, where dad…"
"I get it," Emily reassured her. "God, that looks good." She pointed to the can of beer.
Leah was surprised, her eyes darted to Emily's stomach again. "Do you want one?"
Emily snorted, holding her hands out wide, highlighting the current condition of her anatomy, "Can't. Alas…"
Leah nodded, slowly, absentmindedly. She was uncomfortable thinking about Emily and Sam together, but this sight of her cousin so visibly pregnant in front of her, was more than unsettling. She couldn't help but wonder about the two of them together, comparing it in her mind to all the times that Sam had made love to her, told her that he loved her. Kissed her breasts, or cupped her ass. She took a deep breath. "So, your due around Halloween?"
Emily tilted her head. Halloween had always been a special time for them. They were both Scorpios. Leah was born on October 29th and Emily was born on November 14th. When they were kids, they always had Halloween themed birthday parties, and later, much later, it had been on Halloween night that Sam had imprinted on Emily. Emily and Sam had also, Leah knew, been married around Halloween as well. Leah had been invited, but she did not go to the wedding.
Charlie was yelling at them to come back into the living room, the game was starting. Leah, for her part was DVR'ing the game on her television back home, and she knew, with a delightful pleasure, that Mike was doing the same. He wanted to watch it with her later. She loved Seth more than life itself, but she didn't think he would care whether she watched the game live or later on. She knew Charlie and her mother would never stop talking about it, and this was only the first game of the season.
Out of the corner of her eye, Leah could see the sun piercing through the trees again. "Do you want to go for a walk?" The walls of this tiny house felt stifling. Before Emily could reply, Leah immediately regretting asking, her cousin was nineteen months pregnant by the look of it, and if the roles were reversed Leah might not want to take a stroll.
"Yes! Yes, I do," Emily sounded ecstatic. "I love Seth but football is kind of…" She flattened her palm, tilting it up and down, indicating that the act of watching the game was a hit or miss.
Leah wondered if Sam was out there somewhere watching this. Emily had claimed that he was working, and she wondered if that was really true, or had he deliberately stayed away, left his pregnant wife to fend for herself against Leah. Deep down she hoped he was worried, she hoped he was pacing the floor of that tiny cabin by the ocean, his fingers texting her none stop. Leah hadn't seen Emily touch her phone once since stepping inside the house, and she hoped all of his dozens of texts or voice mails were going unanswered. She hoped he was worried, or sad. She hoped that he was feeling anything other than love and devotion for Emily right this moment. She hoped that her name was lingering in the back of his mind. Even if he had nothing good to say or think about her, at least she wasn't forgotten.
Emily turned, making her way toward the back door.
"Mom," Leah called out, "We're going to take a walk around the block."
Sue called back, confirming the plan. Leah could hear Charlie argue softly behind the blaring TV background noise, but she also heard Sue hush him.
"Do you need a coat?" Leah asked. She had no idea what pregnant women needed. Were they delicate like they always seemed to be in movies? Was Emily capable of feeling anything other than love for Sam nowadays.
"No, it's fine," Emily said, turning back to face her cousin. "I'm like a furnace these days. I could walk around naked in a snow storm and not feel a thing."
Leah smirked, understanding the feeling. She and the other wolves had unnaturally high temperatures. For her part now, despite the autumn day, she was wearing basketball shorts and a baggy t-shirt. She rarely wore shoes fancier than flipflops.
Once they were through the sliding glass doors at the back of the house they meandered through the yard. The grass was a lush emerald green, naturally Charlie, as the town's sheriff kept his lawn meticulously well-managed. There was a large elm tree bordering the yard and it was starting to lose its leaves in handfuls, collecting at the base of the tree.
Emily kept her hands in her pockets as they walked. Leah couldn't help but notice the curve of her stomach every time she took a step. That old wife's tale about pregnant women glowing and waddling was very much true. "You look really good, Leah."
Leah eyed her, dubiously. "I look the same as I've always look."
In many ways that was true, Leah had never been one for fashion, or caring what others thought of her, but there was a lightness in her step, Emily noticed, a certain smirking smile always held back against her mouth. "No," Emily protested. "You look different. Grown up. Happy, even. You look at ease with yourself."
Leah didn't know what to say. They continued to walk, passing the tiny houses, some white, some blue, and some yellow, all of them built around the same period after WWII, all of them looking the same with moderate changes in exterior personalities. Leah noticed the muddy trucks in the drive ways, and the children, playing loudly in the fenced backyards.
"I heard you were working at the preschool…?"
"Yep, I am."
Emily waited for more, but when it became clear that Leah was finished, she asked, "And you like it?"
"I do." Leah knew she was being evasive. She waited another second and after taking a deep breath she continued. "I didn't think I would. I was never the kind of person to hang around kids, but there's a refreshing honesty to them that I enjoy. They're so unfettered by rules and life. No one has hurt them yet."
Emily stammered. "I'm so sorry that I—that we—hurt you, Leah."
Several times over the last few years, Leah had thought back to that Halloween night when Sam had imprinted on Emily, wondering what, if anything she could have done differently. She and Sam and been together for nearly three years at that point. She had asked him out when she was a freshman, despite the fact that he was already a junior. She had been so fearless back then, it often astounded her, looking back. Sam had had the reputation for being a bit of a bad boy on the reservation. A little bit dangerous, which Leah had been immediately drawn to. All of it was façade, Leah soon found out. They continued to date the following year, and all through the summer after he graduated.
After his graduation, though, something had happened in the summer, Sam had disappeared for weeks. This was before any of them had cell phones but she had called his house with her parent's landline and gone to see his parents nearly every day after school, but he was gone. She had threatened his parents with going to the police, since they seemed so unconcerned about their son's whereabouts, and it had been Billy Black who had come to talk to her, to tell her that Sam was with him, had given her a note in Sam's lazy chicken scratch handwriting, telling her to move on with her life, and he didn't feel the same way about her anymore, not like he once did.
It had only been years later, after her own transformation, that she had learned Sam had transitioned the summer that the Cullen's returned to Forks. For decades the land surrounding the reservation had been free of vampires or any supernatural activity. But their presence had awoken the gene and Sam and changed forever from their presence in town.
When he finally showed back up again, they had fought, loudly and aggressively, as two passionate people were always capable of doing. Eventually she had worn him down, proved herself to him, and they had started dating again. Everything had changed on Halloween when Emily came over for a sleepover. It was Emily who had taken Seth trickertreeting that night—Leah, for her part, wanted to be with Sam, she didn't have time for anything else.
Leah could remember everything perfectly. The long drive back to the Clearwater house in Sam's pickup truck, the way the streets were molten black and slick with rain, the way the headlights jumped from the curb as he pulled into the drive way and then bounced up to hit the tree that Emily was sitting in outside. Leah had just turned eighteen, but Emily was still seventeen, and she had dressed up like Rose from Titanic. An odd choice, Leah recalled now, but Emily had always been whimsical like that. It was a replica of the lavender and white dress that Rose had worn at the end of the film, as the ship sank, and Emily had made the dress herself from fabric that she bought on discount at the local craft store. She had made the pattern herself, sown everything, and now she was sitting in a tree in their front yard, smiling at Leah as she got out of the car, as evocative as any hundred-year-old painting while Seth ran around the yard on some kind of sugar high.
Sam had stopped dead in his tracks, while Leah had run forward to embrace her cousin. She remembered feeling the excitement of anticipation to show her much more beautiful cousin her first serious boyfriend, the man that Leah was secretly sure, she would one day marry.
Emily and Sam had met before, that was the part that she struggled with so much afterward. They had met and spoken and been around each other for years, but this night, after Sam had already transitioned, everything changed when he looked at her.
It was only days later that Sam broke up with Leah, and only a few days later Emily was been hurt, and not long after that that she had told Leah that she was in love with Sam, and they couldn't stay away from each other.
Now, as they walked, Leah took a long, steadying, breath. "You did hurt me. You hurt me in a different way than Sam did, but you also hurt me together… It's hard to explain."
"No, go on," Emily insisted.
"Sam breaking up with me was one kind of heartbreak. Then you getting hurt," Leah's eyes darted to Emily's face, those same three claw tracks bit in to her skin, long sense healed but still startling to behold. "And then to learn that it had been Sam who hurt you, and then that the two of you were together, and in love, and that he had imprinted on you. It was a lot."
"It was a lot, I agree."
"You know, when you were in the hospital there was a few days when the doctor didn't believe you would make it. At first it was just the family. Your mom and my mom and me. Sethi was too young. Billy Black started to come around when it became clear that you were taking a turn for the better, and he told me that Sam had been sitting in his car in the parking lot for days. He hadn't slept. Hadn't eaten. Hadn't come inside. I asked Billy, why? And he told me that Sam couldn't stand to be away from you. He said that he had to have a few of the boys, Paul, and someone else I think—boys who had already changed, had to take up guard posts beside the car to make sure Sam didn't kill himself. Billy told me that he had to be watched."
"I didn't know," Emily added, truthfully. They had just turned a corner and were headed back to the Sawn house.
"No, you were unconscious still, and I can't imagine Sam would be in to telling people how he almost offed himself in a hospital parking lot."
"I remember," Emily started. "Waking up in the hospital. My mom was there, and your mom too, but you weren't there. I didn't see Sam again until after they took me home."
Leah shrugged. "Well, he was out there."
"He didn't mean to hurt me," Emily explained. "He wasn't himself. I forgave him a long time ago."
"You can forgive," Leah told her, "But you can never really forget." The proof would forever be there, on Emily's face. Every time she looked in the mirror, or met the stare of a stranger on the street.
They had made it back to the house, the trees were still red-gold against the fading shafts of sunlight. Beyond them an ominous purple cloud hovered against the horizon. Leah stared at it, feeling a strange sense of dread. Had she forgiven her cousin? Could they move on from the past that seemed to identify Leah as a person.
A jeep drove past them, scattering the kids who were playing in the street up ahead. Leah noticed it because of the color, not a dark blue, but a soft sky blue, like a robin's egg or a warm summer morning.
"Are you seeing anyone, Lee?" Emily asked, changing the subject again, trying to keep Leah talking.
Lee, a childhood nickname. Emily had always called her Lee; it was Sam who had changed it to Lee-Lee. It was Sam's voice that she sometimes heard in her dreams, and her nightmares.
Leah was comfortable admitting, "Yes, yes, I am."
Emily tried to hold in her smile, but she couldn't, a grin split across her mouth. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Leah snorted, the sight of her cousin, so excited and animated for her was jarring, but it also felt so good. So unexpectedly good. "Not really," Leah looked away. She did want to talk about it, but she didn't know where to begin.
Emily nudged, "What's his name?"
Leah bit her lip. "His name is Mike."
Emily searched her mind. "I know, like thirty Mikes. Is he from the Reservation?"
"He's not one of your thirty Mikes," Leah noted confidently. She was sure Emily and Mike Newton had never met, and even if Emily had gone into the Newton's store, he would not have been someone that Emily would have noticed.
"Okay," Emily went on. She was careful with what she asked Leah, not wanting to alienate her. The peace between them was so delicate and new. "A townie, then. From Forks?"
"Yes," Leah obliged. "He grew up in Forks. Went to high school with the Cullen's."
Emily wrinkled her nose. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that part."
Leah shook her head, going quiet again. "He's not like them at all. He's normal. There's not a supernatural bone or inclination in his body. I don't even think he likes horror movies."
"Horror movies?" Emily's voiced turned soft. "Is that how you see your life? A horror movie?"
"I didn't choose this life," Leah told Emily, truthfully. "If I had the choice, I wouldn't choose this for me again. I miss being normal."
Emily thought back to her conversation with Rachel Black a few days prior, remembering how her friend had commented that if she could go back, she would do everything she could to make sure she didn't meet Paul that night. How she agonized now about the fact that he had imprinted on her, and even though she loved him, and didn't want to leave him, she knew there could never be a true break between them. The imprint—the bond—was too strong.
Even Leah had recalled it. If what she had told Emily was true, then Sam had been contemplating suicide if she had not recovered from her injury from years before.
Emily rubbed her belly, the baby had been quiet and still for most of their walk, but now, as they stood in the front of the Swan house, he was more active again. Using her stillness as an opportunity to dance.
"So, tell me," Leah said, changing the subject herself this time. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
Emily smirked, moving her arm in an exaggerated arch against her abdomen, fully showing it off now that Leah had commented on it. "We don't know. I wanted it to be a surprise."
"Well, what are you hoping for, then?"
"I think it might be a boy. When I imagine giving birth—that moment right after when they hand you the infant—I see a boy. I don't really care though. Either. I'm just so excited. I can't wait to meet… him or her."
"Well," Leah noted, the old sass of their youths was thick in her voice, "You honesty look like your big enough for twins."
Emily smacked her arm. At first Leah was sure that Emily would object, but surprisingly she said, "I know. I'm huge. I'm a goddamn boat. Sam," she paused, unsure. "Well, I mean…"
"It's okay, you can say his name."
Emily tilted her head, grateful, "Sam says I look beautiful. He wants me to be pregnant all the time, he says."
The image gave Leah a pang of pain, a momentary washing of grief, but it ended as fast as it appeared.
"Maybe he could give birth to the next one?" Leah joked.
Emily erupted into a laughter that quickly turned to a cackle. Leah was joining in with her, feeling the full-bodied laughter of their childhoods when they heard the peel of a motorcycle's wheels drag across the asphalt of the road.
Emily jumped at the sound. Her back was to the road and she quickly turned, correcting herself. Leah's forehead crinkled, unsure if the maniac coming toward them actually meant harm. When the squealing bike parked in front of the Swan house it was Emily who started yelling first, "What the hell are you doing?" She barked. "There are kids playing up ahead."
The figure looked up; face hidden by a dark helmet.
"It's Jacob," Leah noted with certainty. She wasn't bonded to Jacob's pack any longer, Jacob had broken that long ago, and she couldn't hear his thoughts. All three of them—Jacob, Leah, and Seth, had been isolated as lone wolves since breaking from Sam's pack years ago. Leah had never missed the constant stream of boy brain nonsense that she had once been subjected to.
"Jacob?" Emily's voice softened, but she was still clearly upset.
Jacob lifted the helmet from his face, and Leah could see that his teeth were clenched, his jaw set at a hard angry line.
Leah crossed her arms. "What the hell is wrong with you, Jacob?"
Had Jacob been in his wolf form, he would have been snarling. Leah watched his eyes dart from her to Emily and then quickly toward the house.
"Jacob, you need to calm down," Emily said, placatingly. She had taken a step back, putting more distance between herself and Jacob, whereas Leah had taken a step forward, closer to confrontation.
Jacob huffed, throwing his helmet to the ground, it bounced off the cracked sidewalk and rolled into the manicured lawn in front of the Swan house. Both Emily and Leah had seen this before, this was imprinting anger, the obsession of love taking the wrong turn.
With her keen hearing, Leah could hear Bella and Renesmee's voices from inside the house. By the tilt of Jacob's head, he could hear it too. From behind her, Leah could hear Emily take in a shaky breath, uncomfortable with the waves of rage that were coming off of Jacob, yet equally worried about what would happen when Bella or Renesmee came out of the door.
Leah heard the click of the Swan front door open, and Renesmee's voice calling out Jacob's name as she scrambled down the stairs. Bella stepped out next, but her vampiric step was quicker than her daughters and by the time Renesmee had gotten down to the last step of the porch, Bella was in front of her blocking her way.
When Jacob caught sight of Renesmee he visibly relaxed, bowing his head and pushing both palms against the sides of his face.
Renesmee called Jacob's name again, but Bella held her back. Jacob's anger was evident to everyone except the little girl, apparently.
"I sent you so many texts," Jacob warned, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "You never texted me back, I thought something had happened."
Leah still kept most of her focus on Jacob, but out of the corner of her eye, she watched self-awareness still over Renesmee's face. Something had happened, Leah reflected, but nothing life threatening. She remembered hovering in the closed doorway of the bathroom with Renesmee, listening to the little girl's phone buzz again and again and again.
Renesmee's hands patted against her pants and her shoulders. Leah heard her mumble, "I left my phone in the bathroom."
"Jacob," Bella said, her voice was sympathetic, but still aggravated. "You need to calm down."
"I just left," Jacob explained. "I was on break. I waited to hear back from you, but I heard nothing. I just left. Fuck, I probably just lost my job for sure this time."
"I'm sorry, Jacob," Renesmee said, her voice was small, too childlike for a girl who looked that old. "I didn't know."
There was a commotion inside the house, Charlie and Sue, coming to see what was going on.
"We should take this inside," Emily warned. Her hearing wasn't as good as the others, but she was searching the windows of the houses adjacent to the Swan's. It was only a matter of time before someone came out to check on the commotion.
Bella seemed to tense further, suddenly more aware of their exterior surroundings then before. "Jacob?" Bella pressed.
Leah hadn't heard her take that tone with him in years, not since the time before Renesmee was born when Jacob was still infatuated with Bella.
Jacob was nearly on the verge of tears. He had waited so long at the car shop, waited until his blood felt like it was about to push out of his veins, the pain as vapid as breaking bones. She hadn't responded. His mind had raced. He hadn't even told his boss he was leaving, but he had heard the man's feverish yells, asking Jacob what the hell he thought he was doing, as his motorcycle peeled away past the curb. His mind had changed one invisible obstacle after another as he rode his way to the Swan house. Renesmee hurt, Renesmee needing him, Renesmee calling his name, terrified, needing him, and he, for his part, was miles away.
"Jacob?" Renesmee moaned. Like Jacob, she too was on the verge of tears.
Leah gritted her teeth. Renesmee had nothing to be ashamed of. She had simply not responded to a text, there was no reason for Jacob's behavior.
Charlie cleared his throat from the doorway. "Uh, do I want to know what's happening here?"
Sue was standing behind him, her expression was equally puzzled.
"I can't go inside," Jacob growled. He was pulling the collar of his shirt down, nearly tearing it. Leah could tell that he was crawling out of his skin.
Emily echoed her thoughts. "He's going to turn."
"Get inside!" Leah ordered. Emily didn't respond, but Leah felt her squeeze her arm in assurance as she waddled her way in. Briefly she heard Emily give a stilted, fake explanation about what was going on to Charlie and Sue as she ushered them inside. There was an ease to Emily's deliver, Leah knew that she had been giving cover stories for Sam and the others for years. As Leah made her way over to Jacob, she heard Bella pushing Renesmee back into the house, after them.
Jacob had his palms pressed into his eyes, pressing so tightly that the skin around his cheekbones was turning white.
"You're going to shift, Jacob." It wasn't a guess; it was a fact. She could tell by his posture, his breathing. Leah looked to her right, where a line of similarly manicured lawns stretched out along the sidewalk. When she looked to her left, she noticed the tree line. "The woods," she told him.
Jacob growled, huffing that he didn't need her telling him what to do, but when she grabbed his arm, pinching her nails into his bare skin he yelped and followed her into the woods.
"This isn't a game," she chided him, disgusted with his childish display. "You can't just go around, half changed and growling in the street."
He sprinted ahead of her; face bent downward. Leah took her time as she followed him into the trees. When she turned back to the street she cursed when she saw that same light blue jeep from earlier. She smiled, despite herself, waving politely to whatever stranger was obscured behind its tinted windows. Probably some tourist trying to find their way to La Push. She watched the jeep cruise by, taking the turn down the road past the Swan house at a slow slide.