Thirty-Four
Bella couldn't help but notice that her daughter cried during the whole ride home. She and Renesmee had waited back at the house while Edward retreated into the woods to talk to Jacob. Waiting in the house, with Charlie and Sue, who both knew partial versions of Bella and Leah's truths, was difficult enough. Charlie was casually bug eyed in the kitchen, one hand on his hip, while the other scuffed his hair back and forth. Bella told him to stop, but he wouldn't. Sue, for her part was back in the living room, quietly asking Emily if she should go out and find Leah, to which Emily confirmed that she should not, and that Leah could handle not just herself, but Jacob as well, easily.
After what felt like an eternity, Edward reappeared at the back door. Bella reached out for him, and he took her hand in an effortless gesture, pulling her closer to him. "Charlie," he explained. "We're sorry for the disturbance that was caused here today."
Leah wandered into the house after Edward, and she immediately went into the living room to be with Emily and her mother. Bella couldn't help but notice that the house was just as divided as their lives were, vampires in one room, and the werewolves in the other.
Renesmee craned her neck toward the door, but it quickly became clear that Jacob was not coming back in.
Charlie pursed his mouth. His mustache obscuring his top lip. "Do I need to go out there?" He gestured to Jacob, the lawn, and eventually the neighborhood as a whole.
Edward was confident. "No, there's no need. Leah saw a car drive by as Jacob fled into the woods. I'll go and see if I can track it down, but there's no reason to believe that anything was seen." Edward smirked, trailing his fingertips down Bella's back. "You may get a noise complaint, though."
Bella turned to her daughter, her cries were becoming more and more persistent. "We should go," Bella noted. "Ness, he'll be fine in the woods. He just needs to calm down." She didn't want to tell her daughter that Jacob could see her later, she wasn't sure she wanted that outcome, or that Jacob's presence was what her daughter needed.
"I can't just leave him?" Renesmee argued. The tip of her nose was red, and her cheeks were splintered by tear tracks.
"You can," Edward said. His voice hardening under his daughter's assignations.
Charlie stopped aggressively playing with his hair and stepped forward toward his granddaughter. "I have to agree with your dad here, pumpkin."
Bella felt Edward tense with Charlie's unexpected compliment.
Continuing on, Charlie explained, "Jacob has clearly got some anger management complications going on in the backyard. It's best that you go home now."
They could all hear Emily in the next room, speaking quietly to Leah and Sue. Her scars and the reasons she had gotten them were an open secret amongst them. Bella wasn't sure just how much Charlie knew about the circumstances about Emily's injury, but he was clearly pushing for Renesmee to stay away from Jacob. Bella was grateful, yet also scared. Her human father knew too much about the darker sides of not just this town, but the world.
Renesmee stood, reaching her arms out to Charlie, and let him enfold her into his arms.
Bella smiled, seeing it. She often longed to hug her daughter tightly, but like Edward, when Bella was a human, she could never risk hurting her child. She would never begrudge Renesmee for searching out a human touch.
Charlie kissed his granddaughter on the top of her head, ruffling her ringlets with his big hand. "I loved having you over here, kiddo."
Renesmee's voice was mumbled, spoken softly from against Charlie's chest. "Me too, grandpa."
"Promise you'll come back over soon?" Charlie continued.
Renesmee was adamant. "I promise."
Bella interrupted, "Let's go, baby."
Charlie let her go, and reluctantly Renesmee stepped over to her parents.
"Charlie," Edward started, "Thank you for keeping my girls safe today."
Bella didn't need to be able to read his mind to know what he was thinking. Alice must have seen something, and Edward, viewing through her perspective, must have seen that same thing as well. She had felt his fear in the way that he reached out to her and held her, in the way that he insisted Renesmee stay away from Jacob right now.
Once they were in the car, Renesmee seat belted herself in the back and continued to cry. It drove Bella's crazy to hear it, but she didn't know what to say to her daughter to comfort her. She kept remembering what it had been like to be separated from Edward when she was a teenager, and the pain, even as a memory, still cut like a knife.
Before driving away from the Swan house, Bella glanced toward the woods, trying to see the shadow of her old childhood friend in the woods, but she saw nothing was shadow and rain.
When they got home, Renesmee quickly retreated to her room, sniffling into the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
Edward and Bella just looked at themselves in the entryway. She eyeing their daughters back as she withdrew, and he slowly closing the door to the outside world.
They heard Renesmee's door slam shut, followed by the wail of her previously unreleased anguish.
Edward sighed, concern and worry etched across his face. "I have to try and find that blue jeep," he began. "The scent will be long gone, but I want to try and find where they live. See if they're local or visitors."
Bella bit her thumbnail. "I don't remember ever seeing a light blue jeep around Charlie's house before."
"It could be nothing," Edward warned, "But it could also be something."
She shook her head, mind buzzing with unforeseen complications. Edward approached her, his fingers grasping tightly to her upper arms. Bella tilted her head toward him, questioning. "If the person or persons in the car saw something, we really can't stay in Forks any longer."
She and Edward had been having this same conversation for months. The origins of the conflict dated back to the battle with the Volturi. Their need to stay with their family, both Charlie and Renee for Bella, and the rest of the Cullen's for them both, was constantly at odds with their need to protect their daughter. Renesmee's illness, and Alec's presence here were just unfortunate complications of an already heavy burden. Jacob was still the problem that they had been trying to live around for so many years.
They both mourned their daughter's childhood. Years could sometimes pass in the span of a few days with her accelerated aging, and Jacob, for all that he had become a strange part of their family, brought his own set of dangers into Renesmee's life. Not least of which was the unsetting complications of his imprinting on their daughter. Bella had always stood up for Jacob, in her mind they were still the same teenagers who had rebuilt motorcycles together during that harsh long winter after the Cullen's abandoned Forks. In her mind, somewhere in the forefront of all of this was still those same teenagers, best friends, and allies toward each other when no one else was.
"I told Jacob," Edward confessed.
Bella had known that he would, and she was not surprised, but the ache was still there. "What did he say?"
Edward lowered his gaze, everting it from her face. "He was angry."
She was resolved. They had already made their decision as a family and she had no intention of changing her mind. "I knew he would be." Her gaze shifted to the hallway, where the doorknob of her daughters closed bedroom door was exposed. "I'm just afraid that it's too late now. Jacob can't live without her, and I think, clearly, she has feelings for him."
"She's still a little girl," he warned.
Bella tilted her head to the side, understanding his bitterness. "She'll always be our little girl, but she's growing up, every day a little bit more."
She could tell from his expression that he did not want to acknowledge that fact. He may never be able to. It had only been four years since Renesmee was born. Just four short years. So much time, yet never enough.
"I should go," he added, changing the subject.
Her head was turned toward Renesmee's door, but she felt his lips touch her forehead tenderly in parting.
"I'll be back soon."
She reached out for his hand, squeezing it. "Be careful?"
Edward smiled, the lightest of facial expressions, yet it seemed to transform his face. "I have too much to life for to not come back home soon."
Bella laughed, despite the gravity of the situation. "I'm going to call Charlie," she said. "But first I have to check in with mom." Bella had kept the secret of Renesmee's illness from both of her parents. She had mentioned earlier to Charlie that Ness had been ill lately, and Carlisle had been taking care of her, and she knew it was only a matter of time before Charlie revealed that to Renee. Charlie had been a late bloomer to cell phones, but Sue and Renesmee had both been teaching him, and he could now tell the difference between a text and an email. Oddly, both Charlie and Renee spoke more now, then they ever did when Bella was still a human. There had always been a cordiality to her parents' relationship, but now there was friendship, too.
"Tell Renee that I said 'hi,'" Edward said as he approached the front door again.
"I will," she offered.
Edward cocked his head after he opened the front door, listening. "Sounds like Rose wants to come by later. She wants to check in on Renesmee."
Bella gestured to her skull, indicating that the message had been relayed via Edward's mind reading capabilities. He smirked, still watching his wife, and he shook his head, indicating that it was true.
After Edward left, Bella took a few moments to compose herself. The day had been long and the events of the recent week had drained her. As a vampire, she had no need or desire to sleep, but she still felt the lingering memories of her human exhaustion. She still had her college school work to do, and her laptop was still charging on the kitchen table where she had left it earlier in the day.
Renee was on the speed dial of her phone and Bella quickly dialed. The sun was just setting outside and she did a quick calculation in her mind. If it was 4:00 o'clock here, then it was 8:00 o'clock in Florida and her mom should be home.
"Hey, sweet pea!" Renee said, as the call connected.
Bella immediately relaxed. "Hey, mom. How are you?"
Renee sighed on the other end of the phone. "Better now, that I'm talking to you. Where have you been, I tried to call you a couple of days ago, but you didn't pick up."
Chewing on her lip, Bella explained. "Yeah, mom. I'm sorry about that. Nessie has been sick, and I've got my hands full with that and school. I'm sorry there's no excuse."
"It's okay, sweetie. You don't have to apologize. What's wrong with Ness, though? A cold?"
"No, not a cold," Bella laid her story out evenly. "She had a bit of the stomach flu. She couldn't keep anything down for a few days."
"Oh, that's horrible. Phil and I had food poisoning a few months back, we tried…" Bella could hear rummaging on the other end of the phone, and Renee's voice trailed off.
"Mom?" She questioned.
More rummaging. It sounded like boxes were being filled with large squishy objects. "Sorry, honey, got distracted for a second. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. We tried a new seafood restaurant in Jacksonville, and boy, let me tell you. It's a good thing we have two bathrooms in this rental."
Even though Bella was a relatively young vampire, she had almost completely lost her memory of food. The craving for blood was so strong that it blocked out almost everything else. She vaguely remembered broccoli, both for its texture, and the buttery taste that she remembered enjoying. Bella found that she couldn't sympathize with Renee's plight.
"That's kind of gross, mom."
Renee sighed. "It's just bodily functions, baby. Everybody poops. Remember that book I used to read to you about pooping when you were a kid."
Bella hummed, offhandedly. She remembered the book, and she had been positive that it was not something that she planned on ever reading to her own daughter.
"Hey, mom," she began. "I wanted to talk to you about something." Bella had been wandering around the living room and kitchen, pacing as she liked to do when she spoke on the phone. Now, though, as she prepped for this next part of the conversation, she had sat down at the kitchen table.
"What is it, Bella? You're scaring me."
"No, no. It's nothing bad. I just wanted to tell you that Edward and I have decided to move out of Forks."
The other end of the phone was silent for a beat, while Renee contemplated. "Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. You know that I found that town really claustrophobic, and I'm honesty surprised that you both ended up staying so long. This will kill Charlie, though."
Bella knew that, and she had secretly feared Renee bringing it up. "Fork's is Edward's home. His parents and siblings are here."
"And your home?" Her mother asked.
"My home is with Edward and Renesmee," Bella noted confidently.
"I know that," Renee reassured her. "But Forks is such a teeny tiny part of the world. You and Edward should travel. Remember all those road trips I took you on when you were a kid. You've been to all fifty states and Renesmee has never even left Washington." It was true, Bella realized. Renesmee had never even stepped foot on a plane, or ventured farther then the four corners of her home state. There had just never been time to go anywhere. "I take it," Renee added hesitantly, "That you haven't told Charlie yet."
"I'm going to call him right after I get off the phone with you."
Renee didn't say it, but Bella knew that she appreciated being the first to know.
"And how do you think he'll react?"
Bella paused, thinking her response through. "You're right, he'll be devastated." Bella knew what the next part of the story was. She and Edward had gone over it several times, but she couldn't bring herself to lie to her mother once more.
Renee sniffed on the other end of the phone. "Well, tell me this. Where are you thinking of moving?"
Bella blinked, moving roughly into a less awkward truth. "Carlisle was offered a position to start up a community hospital in Northern Canada, close to Alaska. Edward just finished his engineering degree, and the same council in Canada offered him a role in designing and engineering the buildings. It's a huge opportunity for them both." Engineering had been the last degree that Edward had obtained prior to the families return to Forks. His diploma showed that he had graduated in 2001, and the plan was for him to pass as a human man in his late twenties. Brother, rather than son, to Carlisle Cullen. The plan had been for Bella to stay at home with Renesmee. Alice and Jasper would live nearby, assuming their alternate surnames of Hale, while Rosalie and Emmett would return to New York for a short time, to return again once the family was settled. They could live quietly for a while; they had already been doing that since the younger vampires had graduated from high school.
Renee's tone changed, "But what about your schooling? You only went part time so Edward could go to school full time and you could be more available for Renesmee."
Bella had never verbalized that, rather that was what Renee had assumed. In truth, Edward had chosen not to go to school at all in the last four years, and it had been Bella who had perusing her associates degree in English. She hadn't gotten it yet, for the simple fact that she preferred to spend time with her family, both Edward and Renesmee, rather than going to school full time.
"No one forced me to go to school, part time, mom. It was my choice."
Renee sighed. "I feel like you're always putting others first, you're never taking charge of your own life. You married Edward right after high school, and then you adopted Nessie."
"Those were also all my choices, mom."
"But after all of these choices, how much of your life is your own? Remember how happy you were in Phoenix? With the sun on your face and all your choices were open to you? You've never taken Nessie to see the house in Phoenix where you grew up in. She's never even seen our house here in Jacksonville."
"I still have choices, mom."
Bella wasn't the kind of person to yell at either of her parents, but Renee always seemed to be picking a fight. "I don't know, honey. You're twenty-two years old, you have a husband and a teenage daughter. All your life you talked about going to college, getting an English degree, maybe even teaching one day. Remember when you talked about writing your own book all the time? The one with… supernatural bunny rabbits. What name did you call them? Razzmatazz Cuniculus?"
"I was twelve, mom."
"Yes, but it was a really good idea. Remember how you used to print the story off on the computer and bind the copies together at Kinko's?"
Bella was silent. She remembered everything that her mother was saying, but she didn't want to get embroiled with the way her mother was getting off track.
"I'm sorry," Renee explained. "I'm getting off track, aren't I."
Bella was sympathetic. "Just a little."
"I just really want what's best for you, honey. I want you to be happy, and if Canada is where your happiness is going to be, then I support you. You only have one life, honey. One life to live, and I don't want you to wake up one day, as old women, and have regrets."
Bella wondered how many regrets her mother had. Her parent's marriage had been a rushed one, and her conception and birth had been even more rushed. Bella had never gotten the impression that her mother didn't want or love her, but she had always wondered how different her mother's life might have been had she never been born.
"Anyway," Renee finished. "I love you and I support you. I just want what's best for you. You seem…?"
Bella felt the tone of the conversation shifting. "What? I seem what?"
"Tied down," Renee added carefully. "Like your whole life is already mapped out for you. There's not opportunity for change or growth."
Bella stayed silent, contemplating.
"I love you, baby."
"I love you too, mom."
She called Charlie immediately after hanging up the phone with her mother. Bella didn't want to wait. Waiting would only allow herself to be convinced not to make the call, and she needed and wanted Charlie to know what was going on.
"Hey, Bells," Charlie said when he answered the phone.
"Hey, dad. Are you okay?"
Charlie sighed. "Yeah, I'm good. Just cleaning up from earlier." Bella could hear Sue say hello from the background. She heard dishes rattling together.
"Is Sue doing the dishes?"
Charlie was affronted. "I'm helping. She's washing. I'm drying."
"Hey, do you have a second to talk?"
"What's wrong?" Charlie insisted. "Is Renesmee okay?"
Bella stopped him before he got too scared. "She's fine. Everyone is fine. I just want to talk."
She heard the sound of dishes clattering stop, and she knew Charlie was wandering away from Sue. "You want to talk about what happened earlier today."
"Partly," she obliged. She didn't want to think about what, if anything, Sue knew about her children's supernatural abilities, and she didn't want to speculate. For Charlie's part, he was aware that Bella had changed. He knew that she had almost died shortly after she and Edward were married and that she had to undergo a special procedure in Europe to help her live. She had never said the word 'vampire' to him, and she had no intention of doing so. Charlie knew that like Bella, Renesmee was also special. No one close to the family could ignore her accelerated aging or the uncanny way she seemed to know or sense things, despite still being very young. There was also the fact that Renesmee looked exactly like Bella's biological daughter, even though Renee had never come to that conclusion.
She waited another few seconds to make sure Charlie had found the privacy he had originally sought before she said, "What happened earlier…"
"What is wrong with Jacob?" Charlie asked without preamble, followed quickly by, "What is going on between him and Renesmee?"
"Dad," Bella pushed her hand into her forehead, uncomfortable with articulating the reality of their situation. "It's complicated."
He was brisk. "Not good enough. She's a little girl."
Bella couldn't deny that. "I know. That's part of what makes all of this so complicated."
"Bells," he begged. "Please don't say it's too complicated for me to understand. I've been the chief of police for more than fifteen years. I've seen a lot of horrible and messed up things in my time."
She bit her lip. "Dad," she added slowly. "It's complicated."
Charlie sighed; a sound as heavy as a thunderclap. Bella listened to him splutter out an argument before he quieted himself. "Alright. I get it. You can't tell me."
"I love you, dad," she added simply.
He didn't hesitate before adding, "I love you, too."
She let the silence of his breathing sink in before she added, "We have to leave Forks, dad."
He erupted. "What do you mean you have to leave Forks? What's going on, Bella? I mean it, I am not going to take silence as an answer."
"Nothing bad, Dad."
Charlie interrupted her. "I can arrest Jacob if that's what you need."
"Keep your voice down, dad. Sue will hear you. And no, you would not arrest Jacob, even if I asked you too. You're too good a cop to do that."
He lowered his voice the barest octave. "You can't just go, Bella. This is your home. Your family is here."
"We're all leaving, dad." The we, implied in her statement was easily construed as all of the Cullen's.
"Even Renesmee? Even Alice?"
"All of us. Carlisle accepted a job in Canada. He's going to bring medical care to impoverished families. Edward also accepted a position with the same company. He's going to build hospitals and small-scale medical triage buildings. They're both ecstatic about it."
Charlie argued, "You don't sound ecstatic."
"I'm happy," she argued. "I'm really happy. This is such a huge opportunity for Edward and Carlisle."
"There have to be huge opportunities somewhere closer to home," he objected. "Olympia or Seattle. Why do you have to go to a different country?"
"Dad, it's literally just a few hours away. The same distance as Seattle, practically."
"Practically," he echoed. He took a deep breath. Paused. "This has to be about Jacob."
"Trust me, dad. It's not."
He sighed again. She felt the weight of his sadness and anger and regret hit her like a ton of bricks.
"When are you leaving?"
"Soon," she added quietly. "Probably by the first of the year."
"Well, we'll still have Halloween, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas, I suppose."
"Dad, we'll always have the holidays. We'd never not come back to Forks to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas. We just—we couldn't—we wouldn't do that."
He let out another sigh. With her vampiric hearing she could hear this fingers scrap against the bristle of his beard. "What about school? Nessie was so excited to finally go to that junior high in town. She was just starting to make friends."
Still believing that it was that school that made her daughter so ill to begin with, Bella added, "We can go back to home schooling for a while. It's not that big of a deal."
Charlie bristled. "It is a big deal. Nessie hated being home schooled."
"It's fine, dad. It'll just take some time to get used to it. She'll come around."
"Does your mother know?"
"I just got off the phone with her."
Bella knew that he was hurt that she would tell Renee first. The lost years of her childhood still haunted him. "Okay," he added, resolved. "We can make this work. We'll do what we need to do."
"We'll visit all the time, dad. You'll probably never notice that we're gone."
Bella could hear Sue's voice in the background, asking, quietly if her father was alright. She heard the swish of Sue's hands rub against the nub of Charlie's boney shoulder, comforting him.
"Yeah," he agreed, dejectedly. "I'll never notice that you're gone."
From the other end of the phone Bella heard further sounds of touching, the soft pressing of a cheek across a forehead or an arm. The sound of hands touching.
"Can I call you tomorrow, dad?"
"You can call me anytime, Bells. You don't need to ask."
"I love you, dad."
She heard his voice catch. "I love you, too."
After she hung up the phone, she bent her head forward into her hands. Anguished to have hurt her father so deeply. She stayed like that for several minutes. Letting the words that both her parents had said fester in her mind.
When the door to the cottage opened it startled her, she hadn't heard anyone's footsteps coming toward the house. Bella stood, suddenly alerted to any sign of danger, but it was Edward, returning from looking for the mysterious blue jeep.
"That was really fast. Did you find it?"
Edward shook his head. "I searched every house in Forks. Backyards and garages. Nothing." Edward was the fastest amongst them, she didn't doubt that he was telling the truth.
"Do you think they were tourists?"
He shrugged. "Could be. We may never know." He looked at her, his gaze both hungry and frightened.
She could read his expression easily. "You still think it might be the Volturi?"
His expression hardened. "Something is going on here."
"Did you talk to Alice?"
Edward nodded. "She agrees that something is off about Alec, but everything that she's seen indicates that he truly has defected from the Volturi."
"And Jasper is still trying to uncover his secrets?"
"Trying," his voice stressed the futility of the attempt. "We have to leave here as soon as possible. We're way too exposed here. The sooner we create distance between ourselves and Forks the better."
Bella bristled, and it was visible to Edward.
"I'm sorry," he explained. "I know it's not easy for you to leave Charlie."
They both turned when they heard Renesmee's door slam. "Leaving?" She asked. Her voice raw and cracking from crying.
"Baby," Bella started, making a rough way of explaining to her daughter.
"I'm not leaving Forks." Her voice was insistent; there wasn't even a need for conversation.
Edward stiffened. "We are leaving. It's not safe for us here anymore."
"Where are we going?"
Edward took a step toward her. "Canada."
"Forks is our home—"
"—Only because you've never lived anywhere else."
Renesmee crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "I'm not leaving. I'm not going to leave Jacob."
Bella said, "He can visit you. We'll come back down to visit Charlie and everyone else, too."
Renesmee started yelling. "There's no way in hell that I'm leaving."
Edward took another step toward her. "Please don't use that language with us."
Renesmee shook her head. Bella thought she looked lost, and frightened. More of a little girl than Bella ever remembered seeing. "I'm not going." She backed away from her parents. Retreating back to the sanctuary of her bedroom and the closed door. "I won't go."