"Christine I love you!" Was the last thing he said to me before we floated away from the shore of the lake and everything we knew of our lives. As I looked back I couldn't help but wonder if I had made the right choice. If I had stayed what would have become of me? I could stay with Erik but Raoul would have been forced to leave at sea and I would never see him again. I knew I loved Raoul with all my heart but I loved the Phantom too, my Erik, but was I in love with him? I loved him but perhaps I was only in love with his mystery. I had never really had the chance to get to know him. It was either Erik or Raoul. Lose my love or lose my friend. It was too late. We fled and I would never see him again. I always have wondered, if my choice was wrong. If I'd chosen Erik, perhaps Raoul would still be alive. Perhaps the fates punished him for my mistake.

"I do." As these words spilled so willingly from Raoul's lips I felt remorse that he was so happy and I so grievous on this day. This was my duty. I had left my life behind to be with this man and I must go through with this task. I knew it must be done but I just did not feel ready. Only yesterday I was a child and today I carried out my womanly duty. Giving myself to one man, to be his 'until death do us part.' We left in a hurry and married in a hurry, no chance to change my mind. There was no possible way for any of our former life to stay intact. We had to run like fugitives. He was giving up so much too. Even his brother whom he loved so could not know of our marriage or our relocation. When the time came, I hesitated. I couldn't help but wish that Erik could be there to support me. Then part of me still wished that it were he that was standing across from me. NO! I must go through with it.

"I do." I answered. As I forced a smile at him. I then realized that was it. There was no going back. I was "beyond the point of no return."

As my life went on I felt more and more the need for him to be there. We left and went all the way to London. We were to begin our new lives there, but Raoul was stricken with a fever that left him too weak to work so I began selling all of our belongings so that we could remain alive. Raoul has died and I am left with nothing but the clothes on my back. No money. No home. No family. Nothing. Where am I to turn? I have no way to get home and I'm not sure I have a "home" to go to. That is why I do this. I have no choice. I was fortunate to be given this opportunity, not like other girls. I will not die in the street! I am not common trash! No one even need know.

X X X X X X X X X X

It was late in the evening and I was just finishing pouring over my notes of the strange occurrences that had happened. It was so hard to make sense of it. Poor Lucy finally rested in peace, after we had truly put her to rest that is. Now we all, Doctor Abraham Van Helsing, Johnathan and Mina Harker, Quincy Morris, Arthur Holmwood, and myself are all at our wits end trying to make sense of it all. I can not deny the things I have seen, as I am not the only one to have seen it, especially in the grave yard that night. We are all in agreement that we saw Lucy, or something controlling sweet Lucy, walking about and that we stopped her... it, by cutting off her head and driving a stake through her heart. It does all seem to add up to what Van Helsing says but it seems absurd to think it, NO LUNATIC! If these things all happened, and I know that they did, perhaps we are, as Van Helsing says dealing with an unholy, undead...

"Dr. Seward come quickly we may have some new patient."

I hastily set aside my things and rushed outside where I was met by an kind-looking elderly gentleman. He was soaked in the downpour and very grave looking as most men are who come the asylum to admit a patient. He pulled off his raged old cap and nodded politely at me.

"How may I help you sir?" I asked the gentleman.

"Well Dr. I found this girl laying out in the street and I couldn't in good conscience leave her there. So I thought to bring her here."

"Then she is mad?" I asked

"She only mutters incoherently as if she were talking to someone who doesn't exist. Such frightening things she goes on about."

"Well perhaps I should try to talk to her." I suggested.

"I'm not so sure. She's in the carriage but she won't speak to anyone and when I tried to get her out she…"

" I assure you. I am a professional."

I opened the carriage door to find a young woman huddled in the corner of the carriage. She was drenched and her small brown curls stuck to her face. She was startled by my voice as I spoke.

"Hello." She did not respond to me but her big brown eyes seemed to shift wildly about as many lunatics I see, half in fear and half in some kind of violent rage. After a few moments she seemed completely calmed and perhaps had gotten used to me. I put my hand out as to help her out of the carriage but before I had even time enough to think, she sprung at me knocking myself an her into the ground. I was laying in the mud with her on top of me. She seemed hell bent on killing me and may have had I not overcome her. She had managed to make a mighty blow to my face and tear my shirt collar. Seeing this one of my guards came and immediately brought her inside.

I turned to the gentleman with my slightly bruised pride and thanked him for his charity toward the girl and saw him off.

I felt a right fool being knocked about by a woman, but then in the business of lunatics I really should learn to expect this. The extra adrenaline of a violent lunatic lends them the extra strength to overpower normal persons. I wanted to talk to her but it was already late and I felt I should retire for the evening from my work. Then it seemed that sleep too, was hardly possible as Renfeild was once more having a mad fit.