Thirty-Seven

Renesmee's declaration reverberated in Jacob's mind. As haunting as a train whistle, or a mourning bell ringing in the alcove of some abandoned church.

She had said, "I don't want him here."

As soon as the words were said they struck him like a blow. He felt the rough hands of a vampire push into his shoulders, then pull him up roughly from the sharp gravel where he had fallen. He was still nude; his clothes having been shredded in his change. Alec's hold on him was strong enough that he couldn't cover himself for modesty, even if he wanted to.

Jacob didn't struggle against the vampire's grip.

Jasper shoved him, callously, while Alec led him away. Turning his head, Jacob noticed Renesmee had her back to him. She and Alice were hovering over Rosalie, who, to Jacob's surprise was still on the ground, half crouched against the tree truck where she had fallen. Even in the darkness, Jacob could see that Rosalie was glaring daggers at him. He wanted to call out. He felt Ness' name on his lips, bubbling up from his throat. He wanted to tell Rosalie that he was sorry. That he didn't mean it. But he remained silent. Remorseful, and broken. He saw himself as Sam, in that instant, so consumed with jealousy and pent-up rage that he nearly killed the only women he was ever destined to love. Or even Paul, frantic and strung out on the front porch, waiting for Rachel to come home.

He heard the sound of Emmett crushing his motorcycle under his palms, metal screeching and groaning, as Alec and Jasper dragged Jacob away, moving at their own level of supernatural speed, making Jacob want to vomit, as soon they became stationary again.

Emmett through the bike forward, chucking it like a weightless toy, into the ditch on the side of the road. Alec had dragged them all the way down the long winding road to the Cullen house, and released him once the main highway was back in view.

Jacob shook the vampiric touch off of him like a dog shaking away rain. Hit guts roiling from the sudden momentum and the shock of being back outside of the perimeter of the Cullen compound. He felt miles away from Renesmee, now.

"I'm sorry, alright?"

Jasper smirked, unsympathetic.

Chuckling, Emmett said, "You shouldn't be afraid of us, Jacob." It was a simple declaration. "You've made a lifelong enemy of Rosalie, just now. You should be thinking about that, honestly. Not anything else."

Jacob was thinking about that. Rosalie could be vindictive and cruel, he knew. But Jacob also knew that she would do anything for Ness, and in turn, Renesmee thought of her as a second mother. In many ways, Jacob knew, Ness and Rosalie were closer than Bella and Ness were. And he, through his anger and rage, had hurt her. True, she was a vampire, and anything he did would heal quickly, but he knew Blondie was ruthless enough to hold this against him for the rest of his natural life.

And Renesmee's words. Her simple statement, telling Alec and her uncles to get him away from her.

Jasper offered, "I suggest you don't come back, Jacob."

Alec stepped forward, impeding on Jacob's sense of personal space, against his own warm flesh he could feel Alec's icy skin. "Don't come here again." Alec pointed a stubby finger in Jacob's direction, "I can take it away," he warned, referring to the imprint. "I can take it all away, remember that."

Jacob would never let on that he did in fact understand what Alec was alluding to. He remembered the hollow feeling that he had felt when Alec used his powers on him. The sting of it. How he felt carved out.

"We'd go back and get your clothes," Emmett joked, "But I don't think there's anything left."

"We mean it, Jacob," Jasper warned. "Don't come back." He and Emmett vanished, their vampiric speed turning their bodies into shadowy blurs up ahead through the trees. Alec hovered after they were gone, cutting Jacob in half with his glare. Jacob bared his teeth to the youthful vampire, hoping to intimidate him in the only way he knew how to.

Once Alec finally departed, Jacob finally took a deep breath. He began to replay the last few minutes in his mind. He had allowed the Cullen's to bait him into a fight. Then he had felt the urge of his shift, and then the broken thwack of Rosalie's body against his palm.

Then the sound of Renesmee's cries.

Jacob howled, the sound still human, yet cut with the edge of animal. He hoped that everyone in the town of Forks heard him. He hoped all of the Cullen's and Renesmee heard him, too.

A car drove past where he stood, honking, no doubt jovially, at the sight of a young man bare naked on a cold rainy night. He had heard rumors in town that some of the local kids dared each other to stalk the woods outside the Cullen house on nights like this. It was a right of passage, as he understood it, something to prove that you weren't chicken shit.

Jacob didn't bother to react to the car. His distraught too overpowering to engage with the stupidity of humans.

He howled again, shaking off the rainwater and tossing his head back. He didn't need the moon to control his shift, but he knew that it was out there, above him, somewhere in the clouds, mocking him for his lack of judgement.

He started to run, slowly at first, along the side of the road, then faster and faster. So fast that his lungs strained with the effort of breathing and he had to close his eyes to block out the wind and the rain. He moved on instinct and feel, bare feet slicing open on the pine needles and dead foliage underfoot.

At some point he retreated into the woods, weary of any other soul or creature coming upon him when he felt like this, and easily, as though he were shuffling off a jacket, he changed back into his wolf form. There was still emotion, when he took this form, but the panicking echo of his thoughts lessened when the more primal side of him took control.

He ran, farther and faster that he could as a human. Crossing the corner of Cullen land that bit into the woods. Taking the river at a leap he passed over onto Quileute land. If Sam was still the alpha that he once had been, he would be able to sense Jacob's presence here, but his intention was not to stay long, or come into any contact with any of the other wolves of his tribe. He had broken the telepathic contact that he had once had with Seth and Leah long ago, and now, he was truly alone.

Staying in the woods he continued to run, with the coastal beaches on his right side. His mind driving him father and farther south. It felt like days had passed while he did this, intoxicated with his need to crawl out of his own skin and escape his own fate.

The wind against Jacob's bare skin was paralyzingly cold, suddenly he felt the first true shiver that he had felt since before he transitioned into a wolf for the first time and his body temperature accelerated so high that he would never need to wear a coat again. It was raining again, a sheath of drizzle that fell atop him like a woolen blanket, thick and ominous. He felt his breathing quicken, his anger and rage, his unendearingly sadness boiling inside his veins like poison needing to be expelled. Disregarding the fact that he was on the open road again, and anyone could see him, he shifted quickly back out his wolf form—human muscles shaking from the effort. His mouth was bone dry and to quench his thirst he tongued the clinging rain from his hands and arms, trying to suck in as much moisture as he could.

His nudity was noticeable, he knew, so he tried to keep the shadow of the tree line butting against the road. After several minutes of walking and heaving the clouds parted, and the moonlight darted through the clouds, spilling light like the yoke of an egg, dripping along the glittery road.

The road-sign up ahead read, 'Hoquiam,' in bold white lettering. Had he been driving the distance would have taken him hours to get here.

He walked for another few minutes, his feet squelching into the mud. Eventually he noticed the high school. It was dark brown, and woody, even in the gloam of the night. A red electronic sign read "Home of the Grizzly's." Passing the football and track field he made his way to the back, where he didn't have to wait long for one of the kids to step out, likely coming off a late training session for some random sport, allowing Jacob to grab the door before it locked and make his way inside to the locker rooms.

As he suspected, the boy's locker room was nearly deserted. Although there wasn't anyone inside, there were a few cubbies holding various items of clothing that he could 'borrow' since he had nothing else. He was starving, and as he picked through the clothes, he checked pockets for anything like a granola bar that he might be able to snack on.

He found a pair of pants that were too small and a pair of shoes that were too big. Lastly, he grabbed a hoodie that he could not zip up all the way, either. One of the clothes concealed a carefully hidden wallet belonging to Norm Soule, which held two twenty-dollar bills and a handful of fives and ones. He said a silent thank you to Norm Soule, whoever he was, and took the fives and ones, hoping he wasn't hurting this kid too badly.

Before he left, he looked longingly at the showers. He felt dirtier than he looked, but he didn't want to run the risk of being found in here, and he departed as quietly as he had come. Making his way through the school again was easy enough, and he had seen a small café across the street that he planned on grabbing something to eat at.

The clothes were very uncomfortable. He regretted the need to have them, but he was starving and he couldn't exactly find food with his ass and junk hanging out. Across the street from the school there was a café, nicknamed "Grizzly Den," after the High School's mascot. His flipflops made way too much noise as he walked.

The parking lot, once he got there, was nearly full, and even from outside he could hear the chatter of the patrons inside. A young woman was standing by the front door, pacing in front of the cars, twirling a white and black polka dot umbrella.

She startled Jacob, first of all, and after eyeing the darkness of the lot and the fact that she was alone, he said, "It's awfully late for you to be out here by yourself." His tone was curt. The earlier anger of his exchange with the Cullen's was still thick on his tongue. He was thinking of Renesmee, and how he would feel if she were standing alone like this, a magnet to any kind of danger that might come her way.

The girl twirled her umbrella, smacking her gum as she turned to him, blowing a large bulbous bubble. After she let it pop, she said, "Could say the same for you, buddy."

She was native. Jacob was sure enough of that, but he was confident that he had never seen her before. "I'm Jacob," he offered. "Jacob Black." He paused waiting for the name to click into place. He was the son of Billy Black, grandson of Ephraim Black, both long standing chiefs of the Quileute tribe.

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm Nadia." She continued, an air of grandeur in her tone, "Nadia Awinita."

"My dad is Billy Black," Jacob added flatly.

Biting her lip, she nodded slow. "My dad is not Billy Black, so good for you, I guess."

Nadia leaned back toward the exterior wall of the building, the vivid white of her umbrella catching the light from the café as she lowered it, now that she was under the protection of the eves.

"Look," he explained. "He's the chief. Chief of the Quinault reservation."

"Oh, I see."

He could tell that she didn't.

"Look," he offered, gesturing sympathetically. "I can tell your native. Me too. That's all I'm saying. That and it's not safe for you to be alone out here." Jacob should know. He was likely the most dangerous thing in these parts beside the vampires in Forks.

Nadia smacked her gum again, rolling her eyes. "I am native," she explained, "but my family just moved here. I'm Shoshone."

Jacob furrowed his brow. "Is that Eastern Washington?"

She rolled her eyes. "Idaho, chief-boy."

Twirling her umbrella again she meandered away from him, closer to the parked cars in the empty lot.

"You really shouldn't be alone out here."

She exhaled, loudly. Thumbing the interior of the café she noted, "The café is busting."

"Are your friends in there?"

"This is where the high schoolers hang out," she noted, dejectedly.

"And you're too old for that, right?"

She took another step away from him, her black ankle boots crunching against the pavement. "I'm not in high school."

"Then why are you here?"

She had stepped farther into the light so he was able to get a closer look at her. She was wearing some kind of black wrap dress, but it resembled more of a Halloween costume, than an actual outfit. He had to think back to what date it was—he was sure that it was late October, but he didn't think it was Halloween yet.

"I'm waiting to pick up my kid sister, if you must know, chief's son."

Smirking, Jacob added. "And you decided to wait for her in a rainy café parking lot."

Shrugging, she said, "I got bored waiting in the car. It doesn't rain like this where I'm from. I was enjoying it."

Jacob looked around. The parking lot was mostly full. He saw a few generic Honda's, likely inherited from a parent or a grandparent and a couple of trucks. He pointed to a black sedan, earmarking it as hers. She eyed him, shaking her head. She jutted her chin out, gesturing to the back of the lot. Jacob turned, noticing the jeep for the first time. There was barely any light behind them and he couldn't tell if it was grey or white.

"Nice," he noted.

"Well, I'm glad that you approve."

"Is it your dad's?"

Scoffing, she spat. "That is my car."

He shrugged. She had a lot of fire, and it was nice to talk to another native girl that wasn't Leah or one of his sisters. There was always an unspoken sense of allegiance when one native person found another one out in the wild. You couldn't help but form a strong bond instantaneously. "Well, you've got good taste. What are you doing in Hoquiam? A car like that doesn't come cheap."

"I freelance," she said simply.

Jacob wished that she had elaborated, but he didn't feel like pushing it. That same image of Renesmee crashed into his mind, the sound of her voice as she told Emmett and the others that she didn't want him there. To distract himself, he pushed, "So, where is your sister?"

Nadia hummed. He couldn't tell if she was annoyed or delighted that he was still talking to her. "Felicity is," she twirled her umbrella again, raindrops kicked out all around her, as she eyed the dark hollow of the school nestled against the side of the hill. "…About to finish swim practice."

He was dubious, "Swim practice?"

Nadia seemed to take offence to that. "Look, chief-boy, I didn't ask you to come hang out with me, and I certainly don't need you to. Why don't you wander back to the homeless camp where you skedaddled from?"

Crossing his arms, he asked, "Homeless camp?"

"Yeah," she gestured to his outfit. "You're wearing track pants that are clearly two sizes too small for you. They don't even hit at your calves. It's raining and you're wearing flipflops that look at least three sizes too big, and you're wandering around with your hoodie unzipped and your chest out like you think you're a hometown Abercrombie and Fitch model. You say you're from the rez, but I watched you walk over here from the school." She twirled her umbrella again, contemplating. "Maybe you're a squatter, living in one of the tiny houses closer to Aberdeen. Don't ask me for any money, I don't carry change."

The smile that split his mouth was feline, "If you didn't want me here, you would have left by now. Gone inside, or gone back to your car."

"What are you running from, chief-boy? You look like you just broke up with your tweeny-bopper girlfriend."

Nadia's comment brought Jacob up short. There was no way she could know about Renesmee. No conceivable reality in which that were in any way shape or form feasible. And yet, how had she been so precise in her judgment.

She laughed, a trilling sound, musicality with an edge. "Oh, did I hit a nerve?" His face must have fallen more than he thought it had, and her laughter stopped abruptly. "Oh, I'm sorry. It was just a joke. You seem like the kind of guy who would be into an immature girl, is all. You seemed older now, though. Like you're in your twenties, or something."

Jacob thought that she looked older now than he had originally thought, maybe nineteen at the youngest, but most likely already into her twenties. His eyes flicked up her black dress again, stopping at the collar where her neck bent down toward her shoulder.

A sudden vision of Renesmee filled his mind again, and he was overcome by the lingering need to touch Ness' face and feel her skin. "I'm twenty-one," he noted, flatly.

She seemed chastened. "I'm twenty-three."

"I didn't break up with her," he objected. "We're just going through something."

"Like a Facebook post of old, 'Tis complicated.'"

Nadia was smart, Jacob thought. Smart like Renesmee was. "I burrowed these clothes. I'm staying with a friend."

She didn't argue, just nodded simply. "And why are you wandering out here, chief's son? What is a reservation boy doing in the big city?"

He shrugged. "Hoquiam is hardly what I would call a big city."

"Doesn't answer my question."

"Just went out for a walk," he gestured to the café. "Wanted to get a bit to eat."

"And?"

Sighing, Jacob added, "And we had a fight tonight."

She twirled her umbrella again, shaking off the rain. "And by 'we' I assume you don't mean, the royal 'we?'"

Jacob had no idea what she was saying, but he didn't want to seem stupid by asking. "We had a fight. She asked me to go."

Nodding, as though she had heard it all before, he beckoned Jacob to go on.

"It was just a fight." He couldn't very well tell this stranger that he had struck Renesmee's vampire aunt, flinging her across the yard like a chew toy while he went on a testosterone fueled bender from not getting to the see the one girl that he would die for.

Nadia bit her lip. "A fight?"

"A stupid fight."

Nadia shrugged.

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this…I guess you just seem easier to talk to."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

Jacob heard her phone buzz. The notification sound, to his ears, sounded like the cawing of a dozen birds. He watched her fish her cell out of the pocket tucked inside her dress, saw her bit her lip as she unlocked the screen and perused the text.

"It's my sister," Nadia explained.

"Swim practice is over?"

She pushed her cell back into her pocket. From inside the café Jacob could suddenly hear a splattering of laughter and talking as a group of teenagers departed. A girl with long brunette curls was amongst them and Jacob did a double take when he saw her, thinking, for the briefest of moments, that Renesmee was here somehow. Maybe even looking for him.

"I have to go," she warned. "She gets pissed when I'm late."

Jacob took a step back, feeling for the fist time, that he was leaving the dreamscape that she had created for him, and he was suddenly headed back to his reality of heartbreak and disaster.

"Hey," she added offhandedly. "What's your number? I feel weird just leaving you out here. You probably are homeless, or something, and just too proud to be honest with me or some shit."

"I'm not homeless," he objected, watching her fingers dart across the touch screen as he rattled off his telephone number.

"I just sent you a text."

He shrugged. "I don't have my phone on me."

Nodding, she added, "I can see that. Anyway," she turned, taking a few steps toward her car. She didn't turn back to him as she walked away. "Maybe I'll see you again someday."

"Maybe," he said quietly. He doubted that she had heard him, though.