This is for babeekim, I was supposed to leave this weird fic alone because I thought that nobody would want to read something as far fetched as this but if even one person would like to read it, then write I shall. ;-)

Chapter 6: Enigma

"But the beginning of things, of a world especially, is necessarily vague, tangled, chaotic, and exceedingly disturbing."

-Kate Chopin

I regained consciousness to the feeling that I was being poked and prodded, which by the way greatly annoyed me. When I gave a slight groan and tried to shift my body, the prodding turned into an insistent smack on my forearm and my eyes opened blearily to Kathryn saying something that I couldn't quite catch since I was so tired from the previous night.

"…the fuck were you doing?"

I was still hung over from last night so I drowned out her angry voice and pulled her down with me, giving a groan of contentment at the feel of her warm body on mine. She struggled and almost violently pinched me so hard I thought it was going to leave a bruise but obviously the apparent intent before the barbaric act worked because by now I had lost all post coital bliss and rubbed the stinging part on my battered forearm (courtesy of Kathryn Merteuil-Preston). She pried herself away from me and I saw how accusingly she was looking at me, which was odd since I hadn't done anything…

"Did you try to kill yourself last night?" she demanded, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Sebastian? Why are there scratches on your arms? Why is your wrist bleeding again? For fuck's sake, you have blood on your chin! You look like you've been rammed by a fucking car and dragged—"

Oh.

She froze halfway in the sentence while I blinked.

"Sebastian, I'm sor—"

I shook my head and sat up, rubbing my eyes sleepily. "It's fine."

Kathryn placed her hand on my wrist and fingered the bandage thoughtfully, worried creases written all over her forehead. Actually it was quite charming to see that she was worried about me, but I didn't like how tense she was. Before she could question me further on the reasons behind my injuries, I plow right ahead of her in hopes that this matter won't be discussed again.

" Cal sleepwalks." I responded; glad to see a flicker of relief going about her. "He was quite disturbed so I suppose it's part of it."

"That's it?" she asked, her voice softer. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, scratching my longish hair and annoyed at how it blocked my sight. Kathryn still looked unsettled though and I could tell that she didn't completely believe me; her mouth was still pursed in deep scrutiny of my wounds.

"I don't like it."

"Like what?" I yawned, getting up only to stop when she ran her fingers over the scratches. "I'm going to go clean these and then…" I smiled at her, looking hungry for something that wasn't food.

"You and blood in the same image." She replied acidly, biting her bottom lip.

"Oh." I pulled her into my arms and this time she didn't object, resting her head against my shoulder while I succored her and hoped that she would stop with the imageries. "Then stop thinking about it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because it's my fault, okay?" She exclaimed angrily, her breath felt warm against my skin.

"No it's not."

She looked at me pointedly.

"Okay, maybe a part of if was…"

She shoved me.

"Well, maybe a large part." I surrendered, trying to take away the scowl on her face. "But I don't even care anymore."

"How do I know you're not here to get me back for getting you killed? How do I know that this isn't some psychotic plan of vendetta against—"

"Kathryn?"

She stopped her rant and looked at me.

"I love you."

I was met with silence, blessed silence. It was the kind of stillness that was so calming, the kind that stripped your surroundings away and left you with heightened senses. As two pairs of green eyes met, I saw her look past the differently colored irises and into me. Cocky, arrogant, and wealthy son of Edward Valmont, yes that was who I was and would remain to be no matter how different I looked. Most people would have felt uncomfortable with such a sharp stare, but I find that, after years and years of being ignored, I hungered for it. It's a rare thing to be acknowledged by someone whom you crave it the most from… I'm afraid that in this world, we don't always get what we want, and perhaps, in this lifetime, I would rectify the slight errors of judgment I had made in my earlier incarnation.

"You're Sebastian." She said in a hushed voice, the wonder still apparent. "I'm not going insane? I mean, I didn't take anything last night, but I remember drinking some of Blake's vodka."

"Well, some might attest that you haven't been well in the head even before I died."

The awed expression was quickly replaced by a haughty, slightly miffed one and I couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape my throat. She looked so indignant, her dark brown eyebrows meeting and a wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows.

"You're such an asshole!"

"But an extremely attractive one at that." I buried my face in her hair and smiled to myself, thinking of how things would be from now on and not even realizing the purpose of my stay here.

"You're forgetting that you're not exactly Manchester Prep's pretty boy playboy." Kathryn returned snidely, looking me over.

"Oh, please. It's not like you weren't attracted to me last night even though you didn't know who I was."

"I was not attracted to you," Kathryn stood up, heading for the bathroom. "I was merely being polite."

"Kathryn, cut the crap. I know you, remember? I know for a fact that you would have never even danced with me, let alone talk to me if you didn't find me the least bit attractive." I followed her, taking a look at the mirror and wincing at the bloodshot green eyes and the currently not so desirable features. Kathryn was already soaked in the tub, her neck leaning comfortably against the edge of the sink while relaxing to the classical music playing in the nearby CD player. She made it seem like she wasn't aware of my presence but the moment I tried taking off my bandages after brushing my teeth, I gave a low hiss and her eyes opened at that.

The sight of blood, no matter how much I've leaked red liquid and God knew what else at the gory event of my demise, never really stopped making me wince. I felt her stare at me and I looked into the mirror, meeting her inquisitive gaze while taking another look at my bleeding wrist.

"Blood." I said, shrugging slightly as if to reassure her that it wasn't that big of a deal. "I never seem to stop shedding it."

She recoiled at my offhanded comment, hurt and guilt displaying on her face as she pursed her lips and looked at my wrist. When I was answered in silence, I reached for the antiseptic and unscrewed the cap with my free hand, gritting my teeth at the stinging pain.

"Come here." Kathryn finally spoke quietly and I turned around. She held out her arms, motioning for me to get the antiseptic and the bandages needed. With a gentle hand, she took my arm and laid on the edge of the tub while I sat on the nearest chair.

"Will this burn?" She studied the antiseptic and the bandages apprehensively.

"Yes."

"Good."

I scowled and she smiled to show that she didn't mean it.

I could tell she was fighting back a grimace at the sight of my wound (Damn Cal for slicing so deep) but her fingers wrapped around it before dabbing the cotton filled with antiseptic on the gory red area. I cursed loudly at the burning sensation that wasn't very pleasant, grinding my teeth and closing my eyes from the pain. I was too distracted gripping my thigh for support that I didn't realize she had already replaced the bandage.

My eyes were still tightly shut when I felt a pair of lips brush against the bandage covered wound and opened them in surprise just in time to see her dark head pull away. She looked up at me, grinning impishly at my shocked expression before letting my arm go.

"Join me?" she asked innocently and I felt myself break into a large smile.

After quickly shedding my clothing off, I climbed into the tub with her while she moved automatically to accommodate my size. Her back was leaning against me and her head now rested against my shoulder. My bandaged wrist was getting wet but I didn't care, she started making a peculiar sound I hadn't even heard her make for as long as I've known her.

Was she… humming?

Upon closer observation I saw her thick eyelashes while her eyes remained closed. There were droplets of water on her face and I felt her hands play with mine underwater while she continued to hum the music in a barely audible tone coming from the recesses of her soul. When I kissed her temple, she only smiled and cuddled closer, thus furthering my suspicions that she was acting out of character.

"Kathryn?"

"Hmm?"

"You look different."

Her eyes opened and she looked at me, turning her head so our mouths were inches from each other.

"In what sense?"

"Well, I've never even seen you hum before; I didn't actually think you would be capable of humming… In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you look…"

"Happy." She finished.

"Are you?"

She closed her eyes again and leaned back, her fingers interlacing with mine.

"When you died, I went to confession. Did you know that, Sebastian?"

"Yes. That did surprise me a little."

"Hmm… I bet you listened in on what I confessed."

I shook my head; rubbing my fingers against her stomach and making her give a low purr. "No. What did you say?"

"I told him, 'Listen, Father, I'm not one of your bible carrying believers, but I'm here to ask for a favor.'" She replied, her voice sounded like a voice one would have if one were to lose oneself in memories. "My stepbrother died a few years ago because I killed him."

"You told a priest you murdered me? What the fuck were you thinking? He could've told someone!" I interrupted harshly but she didn't seem to be perturbed.

"Shut up, will you? I'm trying to tell you a story about me voluntarily setting foot in an actual church."

Her skin felt soft as I placed my cheek against it, for once feeling an odd sense of contentment ever since I returned. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss my old body, because arrogance aside, if you've seen me before, you probably would agree. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because really, Cal isn't such a bad choice but if you compare it to certain blue eyed blond bodies such as my own, I tend to be dissatisfied most of the time. I started kissing her neck and she groaned slightly before meeting my mouth with hers.

"I said I'd fucking worship their god if—"

"If what?"

"If things didn't turn the way they did." She rolled her eyes, laughing at herself. "Go ahead and laugh, you moron."

"I've never pegged you for a rosary carrying gospel preaching bitch, Kathryn. Please don't start on my account. I would hate it if you…" my voice trailed off and I felt her tense. It was one of those instances wherein I don't like it when we're on the same wavelength because the name was said even before it escaped my mouth.

"If I what? Turned into Annette Hargrove? Would that really be so bad? You seemed to like the devout Catholic type last time." She replied harshly, placing her hands on the edges of the tub to stand up. The water dripped from her skin at the sudden movement, causing small sounds of splashing to occur.

She grabbed her robe and left, never looking back. I later found her in her old room, having uncovered the white sheets of her satin bed, playing with the hollow crucifix of so long ago. To say that I had been shocked to see her still in the house would be an understatement had her frowning expression not greeted me.

"There's a stain on my dress and you didn't have hired help." She told me by way of an explanation, looking surly. "I can't go back to Blake like that. He'd notice."

"What stain? Are you serious? Are you really that superficial that you would avoid leaving just because of a small stain from that champagne we drank after?"

Kathryn gave me a pointed look, "Not that kind of stain, you imbecile. If somebody hadn't been too fucking anxious to fuck me this wouldn't have happened. I've sent one of the maids from my house to deliver a new set of clothing anyway; I was just waiting for it to arrive."

"And to think you waited for me to come after you." I retorted, deadpanned. "Then again, if history will repeat itself you'll probably laugh in my face and mock me."

"But unfortunately, I don't fuck losers."

Kathryn's eyes flashed a dangerous green as she stood up, pointing an accusing finger at me. "If you're so fucking angry at me then why don't you go back to Bambi?"

"Would it hurt you to call her by her given name? It's so childish that you still keep doing that!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" she snarled, shoving me. "You don't have a fucking right to do that! For all I fucking know you're not even Sebastian! Do you think this is easy for me to accept? I don't believe in this! I can't! This is too farfetched, okay? I'm becoming so pathetic that I would latch on to a man just because he remotely reminds of me him and I hate it! You're not him! You know things but you're not him! He's dead! HE DIED FOR ANNETTE! HE SHOULD HAVE COME BACK FOR HER! YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU'RE JUST FUCKING WITH ME!"

I reeled, shocked at the intensity of her fury but she was not to be deterred. If there's one thing I've learned from this woman even as a young man, it was that her fury knew no bounds. She was now mere inches in front of me, hurling expletive after expletive, her platinum rosary with the infamous hollowed pendant wrapped around her hand while she tried to pummel with me hateful punches and shoves. The pain barely registered and I should have tried to stop her but I also wanted to hear her words, no matter how hateful or guilty it made me.

"You promised me! We agreed, Sebastian! We agreed that it wouldn't happen! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"

"HOW COULD I? HOW COULD YOU HAVE ME KILLED THEN?" I screamed back in her face while I grabbed her wrists because her punches must have triggered something in my body. My chest hurt like hell and for a moment or two I felt like I was being deprived of air. "I TRIED TO COME BACK TO YOU!"

She jerked her head forward, snapping her teeth at me when I appeared too close. It was clear that even though I had her fully restrained, it was still her intention to make me feel her wrath. Her hair was still pulled up in a bun and the spontaneous, free moving motions caused by her anger earlier caused a few strands to hang loose, tickling her cheeks.

"Oh, are you going to tell your sob story now? Boohoo, poor wittle Sebastian got sent away by his evil stepsister." She mocked, laughing cruelly.

A low hiss escaped her throat when I tightened my grip on her wrists but I didn't mind it. As I moved forward, the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and we ended up on top of each other with me pinning her down. Although our position fairly reminded me of last night's less than hateful activities, sex was not my intention at the moment.

"I came back to you." I repeated in a calmer tone while she struggled beneath me. "Why did you reject me?"

"You're not getting anything from me, you suicidal skinny blond freak." The brunette under me taunted, and while her tone was scathing, I could tell that it was her way of avoiding the scrutiny. I had seen her do it too many times in the past that it was like second nature for me to tell whether or not she was trying to change the subject.

"Why?"

"Like hell I'm telling you anything!"

"Goddammit, Kathryn!"

"Go back to hell, Valmont."

"You sent me there, you slut!"

She flinched but quickly recovered, "I can't fully take credit for that, it was a long time coming!"

"Why did you reject me?"

She surprisingly remained completely still and pliant as I pinned her down. My thighs were on her sides and her arms were held over her head, she looked at me and maintained her silence as if to inform me that she wasn't having a say about it regardless of whatever I did.

"Kathryn? Why?"

She looked at the ceiling blankly.

I shook her arms but she remained seemingly nonchalant.

"I asked myself that question everyday I was gone." I said quietly, the anger draining out of me while I watched her eyes dart to mine, quickly giving me a glance before focusing on my shoulder. "I suppose if I could pinpoint the exact instance when things could have been salvaged somehow, that last possible moment, I would have to say it was that. But no," I gave a bitter laugh, recalling the unpleasant memory. "You had to fuck that up, hadn't you?"

My words obviously had an effect on her because she shot me a venomous look, "You have no idea what you're talking about, you presumptuous fuck None. You can't assume the reasons for my actions and take them in that sense no matter how long you've known me."

"Then correct me, Kathryn." I answered intrepidly, bringing my mouth near the mattress so that it was next to her ear. "Not everything about you has to be a mystery."

I stayed like that until my arms almost grew tired from holding her down, she wasn't squirming but it really was an uncomfortable position. Finally, when I was about to let her go, I felt warm air, the sign of life, brush against my chin.

"I would rather send you away than play second fucking fiddle to a person I've grown to despise."

She said it so quietly but every nerve, every bone that composed this body exploded and disappeared and turned into a different substance at her grim, whispered admission. My jaw clenched by its own mechanism and I slowly pulled away from her, my hold on her loosening until I was only touching her wrists lightly. When I looked at her, she looked back at me and I saw everything. The guilt, the remorse, the hatred, the anger…

"It was a momentary lapse of judgment." I replied, getting off her. "It will never fucking happen again, Kathryn. I swear it."

She slowly sat up and rubbed her now red wrists. I imagine the pain my frustration must have caused her but she never once winced from the physical hurt. When she glanced at me, her dark brown eyebrows slightly creased and she blinked as though she recalled a memory from before.

"The last few days before the accident, I came to you. I tried to get you back, I even kissed you. Do you remember?"

I nodded my assent even though she didn't look like she really needed it.

"I asked you what happened to us and you said nothing had changed." She looked down at her raw and sore wrists. "And I said that you're wrong, because you are. I saw it, Sebastian. You were in love with her. You didn't love me anymore. I tried, didn't I? I would have fucked you if you hadn't laughed in my face, I would have let you have me if you didn't call the entire fucking situation ridiculous. How the fuck do you think I felt then? Never mind the humiliation or the embarrassment that I was replaced by another innocent twit, but the fact that you would be so ready to throw years and years of our affiliation for that laughable idea of love, that fucking angered me. I was selfish; I loathed the idea that you would be someone else's. I still am and I still do."

I remained silent, deep into my own thoughts as she was in hers. How else could I explain Annette to her? I couldn't even explain it to myself in all my eloquence. All I knew was that it was over and that whatever resolve I had when it came to the blonde died along with me.

This woman right here was all that I wanted.

I heard her soft breathing take a sharp turn when I took her hands, rubbing my thumbs over the angry marks I'd left on her skin earlier. When I kissed the sore spots, our eyes met and I gave her a lazy smile which she hesitantly returned.

"We're really quite a pair, aren't we?"

And it was thereafter followed by the infamous blue room being filled with pleasured sounds, groans, and complex individuals making… What could I have called it? Love? No, it was too trite. Lust? No, it was too generic. Could it have been called fucking? Perhaps, if you want to be vulgar but aside from a few instances of crudeness between Kathryn and me, we really are civilized members of the society. Was it sex then? I guess… But even that was too general. Saying we slept together would be downplaying the immense building up and release of a fiery heat between us, it would have been stealing the fervor of the heated moment of anger, retribution and perhaps even love although she didn't say anything of the sort.

It was just… Passion. Maybe that's the most acceptable way of putting it. Lust would involve desire and love would be associated with sentimentality, but passion… It can branch into hatred and sex and love all at once. That's it. That's what it's called. It was passion.

---

A few hours later and a lot of bickering, Blaine had managed to cover for Kathryn since Blake knew of him as Kathryn's (gay) friend. It wasn't a transparent alibi since the fairy had been a constant fixture in her life since my demise. I'd have to thank the druggie when I see him. At the moment we were seated in one of the more exclusive cafés, my face was buried in the newspaper since it contained an article about my newest exhibit while Kathryn was in the restroom, hopefully not throwing up the meager salad she'd just ate. I really could care less about this painting thing but it was such a shame to let Cal's talent go to waste and besides…

My thoughts stopped when I saw a flash of brown hair in one of the adjacent tables. As I placed the newspaper down and took a sip of my coffee, the brown hair was, it turned out, attached to a little girl who would have been the exact replica of Kathryn as a child (or possibly her daughter if she had one). I was even more surprised (and perhaps a bit disturbed) to see that the child even had the same shade of her green eyes and when our eyes met, she gave me a naughty smile before saying something that instantly caused chills to spread all over me.

"Hello, Sebastian." She mouthed, winking at me before jumping off the chair that had been too high for her. I jumped up, my blood turning at a zero temperature and almost slammed into the incoming waiter carrying a tray of food in my pursuit of the enigmatic young thing. Had she really said my name or was I imagining it? I weaved through the crowds outside and cursed the New York streets for being so fucking busy. When I caught another glimpse of her, she rewarded me with another sweet smile before I accidentally got distracted by running into another person.

"Oh!" A completely familiar voice winced while I bent to pick her fallen things up. "I'm sorry I wasn't…"

"I-It's fine." I muttered, handing her the fallen belongings. My longish blond hair fell into my eyes as I lowered my head to make my way back to the café when she grabbed my wrist.

"I'm sorry, aren't you Calyx Damian? The painter right? I've gone to your exhibits and I really am a big fan."

I could only nod, wondering how fate could have thrown me another curveball so fast.

A hand was held out in front of me but truth be told I was staring at her face. It wasn't that I was attracted to her, well, I was, but things certainly are different now. It was more of the surreal fact that out of all the places, out of all the times to have stepped out of the place, it would have to be now, right here.

"I'm Annette Hargrove."

A/N: Okay… Babeekim if you're reading this, this one's for you since you seem to share my insanity with this fic. Now, as for all you other people… Well, I'm going to try and update all the unfinished works on a routine basis… Like… Things Unsaid for next week, and BGA the next, then this, then An Awakening in Five Acts… Huh. Whatever, I just wanted to tell you guys that I am constantly trying to think up of what our favorite bitching couple will do next. Oh, and a shoutout to AnnLaw, who has left me review that made me go "Aww". I'll post a sufficient THANKS and a different reply when I update the Awakening fic. ;-D