Title: A Map of Twists, Turns, and Broken Hearts
Series: Gilmore Girls
Author: Innocent Innuendo
Chapters: 2?
Genre: Drama/ Romance/General
Summary: Semi-AU. Sometimes you make the wrong turn, and just continue down that path. Sometimes you don't even know until it's to late. And sometimes it takes someone from your past to set you back on the right road. Literati
Pairing: Literati, Rogan (but only for plot purposes), others will be added as time goes by
Rating: T right now, will go up to M in later chapters
Warnings: Mild cussing
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Because if I did Gilmore Girls would still be good
AN: This is Semi-AU, it's set before Nov. 8 episode. It's also set about 5 months in the future and Logan has proposed. But not to worry, this will be Jess/Rory (Because anything else is just wrong).
I'm so sorry this is so late I didn't have computer access for about a week. It's also not as long as I wanted it to be but I promise to make it up in Ch.3.
Thank you to sanfrangiantsfan who gave me Logan's parents names. You're awesome!
Also, a thank you to Green Eve for her great advice, if you want an amazing Jess/Rory story with an in-depth plot check out her stuff.
I'm happy that people enjoyed the Hemmingway quote. I thought it was cute and I'm happy you all agree.
Hope you enjoy it!
Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin
Apologize for all my sins
All the things I should have said to you
Hey, I can't make it go away
Over and over in my brain again
All the things I should have said to you
Counting Stars by Sugarcult
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"Hey."
"Uh…hey." Shock.
"So, how'd you enjoy it?"
"Huh? Enjoy what?" Slit stutter. Confusion.
"Ernest." Amusement.
"Oh…I almost fell asleep a couple of times but the uh…the meaning and symbolize was…well beautiful." Unsure. Nervous.
Pause.
"What are you doing here?" Slightly accusing.
"Work." Smirk. "You?"
"It's my engagement party." Looks at ground, before looking up.
"Huh. Fancy that."
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He was smirking. It was the same one as all those years ago. The one that always hides whatever he's truly thinking about. The one that all those years ago had caused new and different feelings to swim in her stomach. The same one that made she unsure on whether she wanted to hit him or kiss him.
The surprise was that it was still causing those same emotions.
As she stared, mouth unsure of what to say next, her eyes meet his. They were olive green at the moment. White did that to his eyes. They changed in colors, his eyes. Mostly from the different colors he would wear. They would switch between a startling green to a bright brown.
She had always loved that. She had even taken to finding out what colors caused the changes. Black was dark brown. Red was amber. White olive-green. Blue was hazel. God, there were so many different combinations. And all of them equally wonderful.
Oh god, what was she thinking. She was acting as if she was still in love with this man. Which she wasn't. She was over Jess. She loved Logan now.
Right?
She forced herself to look away and step out of the past.
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She was nervous, he thought with a fondness that belonged only to her. She kept biting her bottom lip, and her hands couldn't stop their jittery movements. His smirk widened. He liked knowing that he had an affect on her. Even if it was just nervousness.
She was staring at him now. Her eyes were still the same cerulean blue that could capture him for hours in their depths. He liked how the black eyeliner and eyeshadow made them look so much lighter. Almost to the color of sky-blue.
She looked away, down at her blue stilettos. Jess felt himself starting to feel awkward. When he'd seen her escaping the party, he'd followed her. He'd seen a opportunity and he'd taken it. But he didn't have anything planned. No literary masterpiece to quote or well-written declarations of love.
Hemmingway, the wonderful man, had given an opening. But what now? What was he supposed to do with it?
Where did he go from here?
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Rory licked her lips and looked deep into her mind for something to say. She had so many questions to ask.
How have you been?
Do you speak with Luke?
Are you still living in New York?
How the weather?
And so, so many more. But none of them seemed right. None of them were good enough.
None of them were what she truly wanted to say.
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Jess felt his hands start to trimmer slightly. He wanted to touch her. To make sure she was real and that this wasn't just another of his reoccurring dreams. The ones that would haunt him with her image for hours only to have her slip away yet again.
He looked her face over. Now that he was closer he could see that her hair now had a reddish tone to it. He liked it.
He eyes moved down to her alabaster colored neck. The blue of the dress went well against it. He glanced at her collarbone and resisted the urge to run his hands over it.
God, Mariano, just fucking say something. You're acting like an idiot.
So, Jess said the first that came to his mind,
"I see you got bangs. I like 'em."
Well, at least he wasn't acting anymore. He was most definitely an idiot.
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Rory laughed, breaking the awkward silence. He relished in the sound of it.
"Thanks. I've been thinking of growing them out."
"Nah. You should keep them. They look good on you. They make you look more grownup." He smirked, reaching out to touch one of the feathery locks.
Rory's smile stilled and her breath became shaky as soon as his callused fingertips brushed against her skin. She suddenly couldn't feel the cold that surrounded her anymore. She sucked in a breath, and lifted her head to meet his.
Green and blue meet, and something clicked. Through neither would ever admit it.
Damn it, Mariano. Step away from the pretty girl and run.
Run far, far away.
It took all his self-restraint but he took a step back. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets to keep from doing something so stupid again.
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They stood at a distance with both of their stances saying they were uncomfortable. Jess was staring over the balcony while Rory was looking downwards at her feet. Both stood in silence not wanting to repeat their last 'conversion'. But also not wanting the other to walk away.
Rory heard Jess mumble something and she looked at him, "Huh?"
"What? Oh, nothing."
Rory smiled and they went back to their silence.
Jess turned so that his chest was facing the balcony and leaned against it. Crossing his arms, he looked over at Rory. Rory noticed for the first time that he must not have shaved that day because there was light stubble that was covering his chin and lower cheeks. There was a soft smile on his lips, something that Rory loved to see but something that also wasn't shown very often.
"Am I interrupting?" Came a voice behind the two.
Both turned their heads toward the noise.
Jesse's eyes' narrowed already half-knowing whom it was.
"Logan!" Rory said brightly even though she was slightly sad that her talk with Jess had been cut short. Well, might as well get to explaining. "Logan this is Jess. Jess is…um…well you see…"
"Old friend. Just an old friend." Jess said in his usual monotone voice, eyes on Logan.
Rory nodded, "Yep, he moved to Stars Hallow my junior year."
"Interesting," Was all Logan said, eyes locked with Jess.
Tense silence.
Logan was the first to break to break, " By the way, I'm Logan Huntzburger. Rory's Fiancée."
"Huh. Good for you."
The staring between the two men continued until Rory couldn't take it anymore. "So, Logan, what was it you came up here for?"
"I was looking for you," Logan said breaking the stare, "Mom wants to make the announcement and toast so that we can begin dinner."
"Oh, okay."
Logan turned to Jess, "You wouldn't if I stole my fiancée back, would you?"
" Hey, it your party." Jess flippantly replied.
"Yeah it is." Logan put his arm around Rory's waist, " Come on, Rory, lets get back to the party."
"Oh…okay." Rory turned to Jess, " I'll see you later then I guess?"
"Yeah, later."
Rory smiled at him one last time before turning around and leaving.
As soon as they were out of sight, Jess gave a frustrated groan before kicking the hard stone railing with his foot. He ran his hand though his hand, trying to keep from punching the brick wall beside him.
He hadn't wanted this. This…pain. Not right when things were beginning to be okay.
He didn't want to deal with this.
He couldn't deal with it.
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They were standing in the parlor near the grand marble fireplace. Shira, Mitchum, Richard, and Emily were all making short toasts and speeches. The other well-off families stood before them clapping, laughing and drinking when called for. Rory and Logan were holding hands, smiling at one another ever so often. They gave off the apprentice of the prefect couple. The couple that throw Christmas parties and enroll their kids in private academies and went to all their soccer games. Rory smiled up at Logan when Richard finished his toast and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Jess watched from the hallways that lead to the room. He watched the way the firelight played across Rory's face and the way the smile that screamed happiness never left her face.
He gulped, feeling as though he couldn't get enough air.
He had lost her…again. There was no way she would ever see him as she did all those tears ago. Logan had her now and he was in the past for her. She had moved on.
Jess gave one last look at Rory, memorizing the planes of she face at that exact moment.
He would move on too. After tonight, he would never see her again.
With one last pain-hearted glance, he turned and walked away.
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Rory watch him leave. His posture, the guarded look in his eyes, the way his jaw tightened. It looked so much like the last time he had left.
The time she had said no.
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Rory poked more than ate the fancy salmon dish that was in front of her. She was sitting in-between Logan and an old businessman named Frank. Her and Frank were had just gotten done debating over The Fountainhead. Frank had put up a great argument but in the end victory was hers. Richard had sent a proud look at his granddaughter from across the table, while Shira sent a disapproving glance at the head of the table. Rory remembered one of the lessons that Shira had taught her.
Make sure never to make any man feel that you are smarter than him, because they might one-day become Logan's friend or business partner and they won't want to feel as though they are not as smart as his wife.
Rory sighed and excused herself from the table. She began to walk in the direction of the bathroom, but stopped short when she spotted the kitchen doors.
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Jess was playing poker with CJ and Maria. CJ had won the last two hands, but Jess was the king at poker, so he wasn't that worried. Maria was also holding her own but wasn't quite as good as the guys. Jess smirked to himself as he looked at the full house in his hand.
Jess heard the kitchen door open, but thinking it was just one of the kitchen crew coming to grab something, he didn't pay much attention. Until he heard a soft hesitant,
"Excuse me…"
Jess looked up to see a dark haired girl in a blue dress.
"Rory!" He stood so fast that his chair almost toppled over.
"Hi." Rory said seeming slightly nervous.
Jess walked over to where she stood, " So, uh, what are you doing here?"
"Doing?" She head snapped up, " Oh, you see I came in here to get a…" Rory looked around the room trying to spot something to save her from the situation. Damn, why hadn't she thought this through? Rory then saw a crème colored cloth with a gold ring around it. "A napkin." She all but exclaimed.
"A napkin?" Jess asked one brow cocked.
"Yes, a napkin. Mine fell on the floor and I needed a new one." She said proud of her half-baked story.
"Huh." He commented smirking.
"What?" Rory narrowed her eyes at him.
"Nothing. It's just I never took you for being a germ-freak, that's all." His smirk widening into a half-grin.
Rory replied slightly offended, "I am very…neat and tidy, for you information."
"Never said you weren't." 'I remember your room.' He added in his head. " It's just that, did you and your mother even own a vacuum?"
Rory glanced down at the white and black marble floor. "We always borrowed Sookies."
Jess just smirked.
'God, that look is so infuriating.' Rory thought. " Napkin?" She asked again, holding out a hand.
"Whatever you say, Rory." Jess said walking to the table that had the extras on it. "Want me to put some Clorox on it first?" He said handing it to her.
" Ha Ha. Very funny, Mike Myers."
"I always thought I was more of a Chris Rock type."
Rory rolled her eye at the man in front of her. She eye looked down at the soft, thick material in her hands. 'You could just walk away and leave it at this,' Rory thought to herself. Rory twisted the napkin in her hands, her demeanor turning serious.
"Jess." She said meeting his eyes. " I…well…I just wanted to…" She took a deep breath. "Please say goodbye this time." When he didn't answer she continued. " I mean it's just that we haven't left on the best of terms. Not that it was your entire fault; I just wanted to…" She rambled.
"Okay." Jess said suddenly.
"Oh, good." Rory eyes snapped back to his. " Well, anyway, I had better be going." She paused then added; "I'll see you later then."
"Yeah, you will."
She smiled before heading to the door, leaving only a faint scent of honeysuckle and vanilla behind.
Jess turned back to his friends with their questioning looks and flat out gapping.
"Not a word. From any of you." He snapped.
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It was close to one o'clock, once all the cleaning putting up of dishes was done. Jess carrying the last box of dishes out to the van. The cold February air surrounded him as he put the dishes in and shut the doors to the back of the van. He heard the faint click of heels against cement, and smelled her perfume before seeing her.
"Hey." Her voice soft.
"Hey back." He turned around. She looked exhausted and cold. "Tired?"
"Yeah, who knew old people could party that long." She answered yawning. " But you're the one with the drive ahead of you."
"Yeah. But it's no big deal. We make it all the time." He leaned against the van; hands shoved deep in pockets.
"Right." She nodded.
Her breath was coming out in white puffy clouds. He liked it.
"So I guess you've got to get going, right?"
"Yeah, the closest good gas station is forty miles away."
"Right. Gas, you'll be needing that. And junk food?"
He nodded. "And coffee."
"Can never have enough coffee." She smiled. " So, it was really good to see you again."
"Yeah, you too."
She closed the few feet of space between them and wrapped her around his neck. He stood still for a moment before taking his hands out of his pockets and putting them around her waist. It was meant to be a friendly hug, just a caring gesture. But it was a bit to long and a bit too awkward to pass for it.
Stepping away she said, " Bye Jess." She began to walk away.
"Goodbye Rory."
She gave him one last glance before pulling her coat tighter about herself and walking to the house.
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Jess was leaning against the van smoking a cigarette in a dimly lit gas-station parking lot. He let the smoke enter his lungs and relished the feeling of it. CJ walked up to join him and leaned against the van himself.
"So, was that the girl that you told me about?"
He paused a movement before answering, "Yes, that was her."
CJ just sighed and patted him on the shoulder before heading off.
Jess replayed the night events over and over again like a movie he couldn't get enough. He remembered what he had said on the balcony, even though Rory hadn't him say it.
He now whispered it to himself in the darkness and the dirtiness of the gas-station parking lot,
I loved you; even now I may confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain;
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.
Jess threw his cigarette in a nearby puddle and watched it sizzle out.
A.N.: Did you like it? Please review. The poem Jess said is I loved you by Alexander Pushkin. Its wonderful, I love it. And I thought it also went perfect with the Jess angst thing I've got going here. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Ch.3 will be longer and out sooner. And it'll also be set in New York.