Deuxième Amour Chapter 3: Facing Truth in Dirty Snow, a gilmore girls fanfic

Title: A Map of Twists, Turns, and Broken Hearts

Series: Gilmore Girls

Author: Innocent Innuendo

Chapters: 3/(not sure)

Genre: Drama/ Romance/General

Summary: SemiAU Lit. Rory is bound by all the rules of high society to let him go...But the real question is whether her heart will let her.

Pairing: Literati, Rogan, Java Junkie, and Lane/Dave

Rating: M

Warnings: Language, an angry Jess, and an angst filled Rory

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Because if I did Jess/Rory would be everywhere! Lit makes me happy…in my pants.

AN: I love all of you who reviewed; I want to do sinful things with you. You all rock! The more reviews the more I like to update.

I'm so sorry about the long wait. Life is crazy. My job is keeping me super busy and I have a Microbiology class that is kicking my ass. I'll do my very best to have CH. 4 out sooner. I'm really sorry about all this, I'm a really bad updating, which is why I usually stick to one-shots.

By the way, I changed the summery. Thinking of changing the title as well, but I don't know to what yet.

I'm also in need of a Beta-reader, if anyone is interested. My grammar and spelling are in desperate need of improvement. Please email me at with and for details. Thank you.

Oh, and thanks Chrissy for pushing me to get the chapter out. I love you girl!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please review. Feedback makes me happy.

It's safe to say I'm lonely now

A place called home

Is just a memory away

I know I've done this all before

A thousand silent voices

Begging me to stay

Apologies all left unsaid

Secrets better left unspoken

Dreams are slowly put to bed

Rumors stirred and reawoken

If I try to get away

How long until I'm free

And if I don't come back here

Will you remember me?

Remember Me-The Birthday Massacre

Lane Kim walked barefoot in the apartment in which she lived with her band mates. She was jumping around dirty socks and day-old dishes.

Eww…

She looked down at what was a pair of Brain's Power man underwear.

Eww! Eww! Eww!

Living with guys sucked!

She jumped as high and as far as she could over them.

Finally making to the small kitchen, she walked over to the freezer and pulled out a large tub of Rocky Road ice cream. Ice cream for breakfast, breakfast at one in the afternoon…Ah life was good.

Lane flipped on the television and sat down a mouthful of ice cream inside her mouth. She didn't work until three today, so Lane wasn't sure what to do.

Shower-Check

Ice cream- Check

Burned three new CDs-Check

…

What else could morning hold for her. She could clean…Ha, no way. Lane looked down at her chipping toenail polish…Nah; she kind of liked it like that. Very Nancy. Wait…did she want to be Nancy? No, too screwed…but Sid was incredibly hot… and she's one of the most famous Rock'n'Roll…

No, bad Lane, bad! No becoming Nancy. No heroin!

Taking another giant spoonful of the now runny ice cream, Lane picked up her cell phone. May she could set up a show for the band or something?

Wait…

Oh, most defiantly the 'Or Something'…

Rory sat in the dressing room area of one the choicest boutiques that New York had to offer. Honor, Juliet, Honor's friend Elizabeth, and Rosemary had all planned a girl's weekend out to New York City.

Honors own wedding was coming up in the next few months and she was spending as much of her time as she could to party and hang out with her girlfriend. Not that Rory could blame her; she had been doing the same things until a little over two weeks ago. Until she had seen a certain dark hair man, one who she had thought disappeared from her life years ago. Ever since that night her doubts had been getting stronger.

She wished that she hadn't let the chance slip by…

She should have gotten his number. But she hadn't.

As if on cue, Rory's purse began to sing 'The District Sleeps Alone Tonight' by The Postal Service, and for a brief moment she thought it might be him. But she shoved the feeling away the moment it registered. Flipping open her cell phone Rory saw a name that made a grin spread over her face.

"Lane!" She exclaimed.

"Rory!" Lane answered.

Walking out of the bouquet, Rory asked, "How are you? How's the band? Work? Stars Hollow in general?"

" Good. Better, we have a gig coming up. Boring, but it gives me money. Crazy…Kirk got another cat."

Rory winced, "You'd think he'd learn."

"Well, he is Kirk."

Rory smiled. "True."

"Anyway, what's up with you? How's the wedding plans going? Snagged Alice yet?"

"Still working on him but Ozzy will most defiantly be there."

"Darn…well we can't have everything can we?"

"Maybe, but we must never give up trying."

"Here, here. Maybe we should toast to that? You got a flask with you?"

"Yes, and it has the playboy bunny on it."

Lane snorted, "Necessary for any Gilmore girl."

"And Kim." Rory laughed.

Lane joined her. "So, any other big news going on? Robbing any bank? Overdosed on Jolt…again."

"Hey, the last time I did that I was twelve. You'd think you'd drop it by now."

"But the whole 'I'm the Queen of England' part was so funny. Remember how you made the table into your throne?"

An evil glint came into Rory's eye; "I don't need to remind you of the Great Fry Incident of '95, do I?"

Lane promptly shut up, "Subject dropped."

"Oh, I'm in New York. Can I pick you up anything?"

"Oh, the new Panic! At the Disco and Jack Mannequin CDs. Oh, and any of At the Drive-In's stuff but only on vinyl. Plus, if you see anything you think I might like, buy it. I'll get the money to you later. "

"Okay, you got it."

"So you sure there isn't any juicy gossip to tell me? I'm dying to know the secret life of Rory Gilmore."

Rory knew that Lane was just joking about the whole secret life thing but she and Rory hadn't been hanging out lately. Even less since the engagement and Rory had an awful feeling that it was just going to get less and less. But Rory wouldn't go down without a fight.

"None, really. We finally made the engagement public and threw…Oh my God, I never told you."

"What?" She sounded excited.

Rory bit her lip. "Well, I…I saw Jess."

"What!"

Rory held the phone away from her ear. "Are you trying to make me go deaf?"

"But…Jess. You saw Jess. Oh my god, you saw Jess. What happened? How? What did you all talk about? Where…"

"Okay, slow down. He was at my engagement party. He was there as one of the serving crew. That was a little over two weeks ago."

"Wow…"

"Yeah…"

"Was it okay?"

"Yeah, awkward but…nice. It was good to see him and not leave on such bad terms."

"Yeah…Whoa…I mean it's just so random."

Rory gave a small laugh as she lowered her eyelids. "Yes, yes it was." She paused before saying, "So, what's the gossip with you?"

"Nothing really. The band got a gig next month. You think you can come?"

"Won't miss it."

"Yay! I'll send you a flyer." Land paused a moment, "Okay, so I have to ask. Were you completely socked when Lorelei told you the news?"

"What news?" Rory asked confused.

"About her and Luke silly. You couldn't have forgotten."

"I don't know what you're talking about. What about my mom and Luke? I haven't even talked with either."

"What…you mean you really don't know? Whoa…"

"What is it, Lane?"

"Nothing. Never-mind. Forget I said anything, I'm sure you'll find out later." Lane said nervously.

"Lane, tell me." Rory warned. "If it's about my mother, I have a right to know."

"But…"

"Tell me." She demanded.

Lane sighed. "Fine but you aren't allowed to be mad at me."

Rory's harsh sigh made Lane continue. "Lorelei…Lorelei is pregnant."

Shocked silence overtook the phone but a soft, "What?", was choked out by Rory.

"Oh, Rory. I'm so sorry. I really thought you knew."

"It's okay Lane." But inside she was screaming that it wasn't. "I'll…just talk with you later, okay?"

"…Okay. Bye Rory. I'm really sorry."

"I know. Bye Lane."

Hanging up her cell phone, Rory stared out into the New York traffic. After months of denial Rory was forced to ask herself the question she had been dreading-

Had things really gotten that bad between she and her mother?

Rory was walking down some New York City street that she didn't know the name of. After getting off the phone and regaining mobile capability, she had begun to walk. Just walked. No real destination.

She walked straight, and then right, then right again, took a left, and straight on for a while. Somewhere between the second right and the left Rory had called Honor's cell phone and told her something had come up and that she would meet them back at the hotel later. Honor had sounded worried but hadn't asked any questions, which Rory was grateful for.

That was over a half-an-hour ago and Rory had decided that black stiletto healed boots were not made for walking. No matter what any song said.

Stupid false advertisement.

Rory was tried and emotionally drained. But she hadn't cried. Not yet at least. A part of her wished that she would, if only for some kind of emotionally release. Maybe it would make her feel better.

But she wouldn't…couldn't. All she could do was walk. Walk far and fast, her boots crunching on the once-white snow.

So she continued. At least until she reached a small bookstore on the corner.

It reminded her of the bookstore in The Never Ending Story. Tall isles filled with books that had strange leather covers. What little light that came through the small windows caught the dust particles that danced in the air. This was the type of bookstore where you could find a hidden treasure of a book or just the prefect one. This place seemed to have a bit of magic to it.

When Rory walked into the small shop, a small man with a heavy Russian accent and a sweet smile greeted her. He had asked if he could help her with anything and she replied that she was just browsing. He smiled again and told her that he would be in the back if she needed anything. She had smiled back and then went to browse. After find an old hardback of The Scarlet Pimpernel, Rory sat down with her back up against the wall and began to flip through the pages.

Rory's headed snapped up as she heard a small bell jingle. She blinked her eyes, grogginess still filling her head. She must dozed off.

Standing up Rory stretched her arms above head. After a yawn, she placed the book back to its rightful place.

"Hey Leo. You here?" came a muffled male voice from the entrance hall.

An oddly familiar male voice.

Curious, Rory poked her head out from the isle, only to see a very interesting sight. Gapping, Rory looked at the sight in front of her.

Before her was Jess…and he was juggling a bag of cat food in one arm and a bag of kitty litter in the other.

Oh my god Jess! It was Jess.

Rory dropped to her knees and hands, looking for something to hide behind. Wait, hadn't she just wanted to see him? Well…yes…but not right now. She couldn't see him right now; too much had happened today. The only people she wanted to see right now were the ones that could give her a whiskey sour or something along those lines.

But this was her chance. She couldn't be sure she when see him again.

Rory 'inner debate' continued to rage. Leaving her on all fours in-between to large bookcases…and very easy to spot.

"Rory?" A shocked and somewhat loud voice said, shocking Rory from her stupor. Her head came up and she froze as Jess fixed her with a inquiring look.

"Rory…What in the world are you doing here…on the floor?"

Rory gave an uneasy laugh. "The book I wanted was on the bottom shelf." Her hand groped for a random book, and after finding one she held it up for Jess to see.

Jess gave an unsure and somewhat shocked look. "Uh…so when are you due?"

Rory's face was overtaken by confusion. Turning over the book she read the title- Do It Right: A Guide to Pregnancy.

Rory's face flamed.

Death.

Now, please.

Close to fifteen minutes later Rory sat at a small wooden table in a small kitchen. It was placed in a small one-bedroom apartment that was placed above the bookstore.

Mere moments after her humiliating incident with Jess the little old man whom own the bookstore (Leo, she assumed) walked out. Then promptly began to laugh. After regaining his composure, he had offered them both to stay for tea.

Blushing as she stood, Rory had accepted.

Jess grunted and asked where he wanted the bags. Leo had answered upstairs and Jess started to walk to the back and climb the wood stairs. Without knowing where to go she followed Jess, asking if she could hold one of the bags for him. He had declined but had asked her to open the door for him. As she walked into the apartment she realized why Jess had kitty supplies, as two cats began to purring and twirl around her feet.

"Hello, there." She bent down to pat the orange tabby-cat, while the gray one mewed from the loss of attention. Jess walked into the conjoined kitchen and living room. He sat the bags on the counter and turn around to stare at the girl kneeling on the floor.

Rory looked up to see Jess looking at her, dark eyes unreadable. Awkwardly she raised from her spot on the floor and smiled. Fiddling with her hair she said, "So pretty wild, huh?" She gave a nervous laugh.

Jess's jaws tighten slightly, "Yeah…pretty wild." He turned around to put the kettle on for tea. Rory wasn't sure what to say or do, so she just stood over to the side leaning against the wall. It wasn't long before Leo came in and introduced himself.

"Well, hello there m'dear, I'm Leo Mihailov. It is very nice to meet one of Jess' friends." With his thick accent it took Rory a moment to understand him but his smile as bright as ever and it made her smile back.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. Mihailov. I'm Rory Gilmore."

"Please call me Leo. It not everyday I get the pleasure of having such a pretty girl in my shop." He gave a Rory a wink.

Rory laughed while Jess muttered something along the line of 'old pervert'. "So how do you know Jess?"

Leo gave a smile, "Jess helps me around the shop when's he's free. He also goes and gets my groceries for me. I give him free books in payment…although he barely ever lets me give him them."

Rory made an 'Aww' sound and said to Jess. "Jess who know you were such a sweetheart."

Jess just grumbled. "I only do it for the books." But before he turned his back Rory saw the flush on his cheeks.

She snickered. "Sure, you do."

Jess didn't feel as if he should credit that comment with a response.

Leo looked at Jess. "He's a good lad."

Rory smiled and her eyes softened with her knowing it. "Yes. Yes, he is."

Jess and Rory were both on their second cup coffee, while Leo was having some tea. Leo had also pulled out some cookies and crumpets. And it wasn't until then that Rory remembered that she hadn't ate since that morning and was half starved.

Not like children in Africa kind of staved…but for a Gilmore girl half a day was close enough.

They had been sitting at the table for close to an hour now, just talking. They had mostly spoken about Leo's life and how he had come to the US. Rory was sad to learn that Leo had had a wife that had died two years prior.

They spoke of books and even a bit about music. For an older man, Rory thought he had pretty good taste in music. More jazz and blues than she was used to though.

Leo had just finished a funny story involving a cat and a can opener, and they all sat around the table laughing. Even Jess was giving off some deep chuckles and Rory was enjoying it.

It was…nice.

Just sitting and talking about nothing over coffee. It wasn't something she got it do anymore. Everything was about how to set up dinner dates and how to run the Huntzberger home.

After a moment of sobering up Leo said, "I noticed I've been monopolizing the conversation. Please forgive me. So…how is it that you and Jess became friends? Did you go to school together?"

Rory laughed. "No, we don't. We…dated our senior year of high school."

Jess scoffed. "Rory's a brain. She goes to Yale."

"Oh, is that right? That's amazing!" Leo exclaimed.

Rory lowered her eyes, "Well…not right now. I'm…uh…taking some time off from school."

"What?" Jess looked over at her, eyes hard and shocked.

Rory flushed. "Some…complications came along and now with the wedding…I just don't have time for school."

"You? No time for school. That's like saying fish don't need water. It's impossible." Jess' brow was draw and Rory could tell that he was upset.

Leo seemed oblivious to it all. "Are you getting married dear?

"Oh, yes I am." Rory extended her left hand to show Leo the ring. Leo looked at it and gave a low whistle. "So who is the lucky guy?"

"Logan Huntzberger." She smiled at the name and how proud she was to be marrying him.

"Ah. Is your family good okay with this match?" Leo asked.

Jess looked at Rory, his voice snide. "Yeah…I want to hear this. How does Lorelei feel about this? I don't remember seeing her that the engagement party?"

Rory couldn't surpass the glare that arose in her. "My mother and I…are not speaking at the moment. I'm living with my grandparents for right now."

Jess couldn't hold in the shock he felt. After a moment his jaw tightened, eyes turned steely, and he shook his head. He turned to Leo, "I've got to get going. I'll see you on Tuesday." He didn't even look at Rory. He couldn't. No right now.

Leo opened his mouth to say something but Jess is already halfway down the stairs.

Rory stood fast, eyes slightly frantic. "Thank you for…everything. I must go. It was nice to meet you." She ran down the stairs.

Leo sat at the table, stunned.

Rory ran from the shop, looking around for Jess. She saw a dark head moving briskly through the crowd. She ran after him. She could tell it was him from the worn jeans jacket he was wearing.

"Jess! Jess stop."

He didn't.

She ran around the people that were on the streets, trying to catch up with him. Luckily there weren't many people out because it was already getting dark. Most people in this area would be sitting at home with their kids and pets eating dinner by now.

"Jess. Come on, let's talk about this!"

He ignored her again.

She was getting mad. Why wouldn't he let her explain? Why was he mad anyway? There was nothing wrong with not going to college. He hadn't! She sped up, reaching a hand out to grab his shoulder, only to have him shrug her off.

She stopped and half-screamed, desperate. "Don't walk away from me Jess!"

And then he turned.

Eyes blazing and teeth clenched. He walked at her, fast and determined. When he was close enough to feel her breath on his face, he hissed. "What the fuck, Rory?"

It was an eerie sort of calm. A fake sort of calm. The kind that only came about before a storm or before a large animal attacked.

"What…?" She whispered, taking a step back.

He gave a dark strained and bitter laugh…and then all hell broke loose.

"What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? You're taking time off school…that's not you!" He was shouting, frustrated.

"I…Things change Jess!" She said.

"That's BS. You love school. It's your life!"

"Well, not anymore. Logan is more important than school." Even Rory was shocked too hear the words that escaped her lips. Her eyes rounded when she released that the words were true. At least her actions were showing that it was.

"Oh, so you're that girl now? The one who gives up your future, your dreams for a guy? You some prissy little rich girl now? Have you become one of those stupid girls we used to make fun of? Is that it?" He was yelling and his eyes were blazing.

Had she? Was she? Rory felt like crying, this was just too much. Too much to handle.

"You don't even talk to your mom now? You and Lorelei were so fucking close when I knew you and now…this. You let some guy go between you? The Rory I knew wouldn't do that? You're living with your grandparents for Christ sake. Why? Why are you doing this?" He paused and dropped his voice down to a normal level, his whole face condemning. "You aren't even the girl I knew. The girl I loved."

And with those words Rory broke. She gave a heaving sob and tears streamed their way down her cheeks. "I don't know. I" She voice cracked."…Just don't know."

And it was on that cold winter night with dirty half-melted snow around her and an old loves eyes on her that she was given the truth. The truth that she had been hiding from for months.

But she still refused to see it.

Even with all the evidence right in front of her.

Harsh much, Jess?

Yes I know.

But it needed to be said.