Array Two: Why Santa Gave Coal To Everyone Except Al.
Dear Santa,
Hi Santa, it's me, Roy Xavier Mustang. I just turned eight a few months ago and now mom says it's time for me to write you my Christmas list. At first I was going to write you and ask for a new train set since Maes busted mine again (he better be on your naughty list by the way) but then this new girl moved in next door.
Her name is Riza Hawkeye and she is the toughest girl I know. See me and Maes were playing ball and Maes kicked the ball too hard and it went flying right into her face. Needless to say I thought she was going to cry but instead she walked over to Maes calmly and then decked him. It was the greatest thing I'd ever seen. So that's the first request I have for Christmas…that you make it so Riza decks Maes again. I want to see him cry like a little girl he's such a pansy.
Also for Christmas I would like to be made Brigadier General or maybe even Furher. I was talking to Riza and she says when she gets older she wants to marry a useful man who can give orders and kick ass (her words not mine so don't get angry at me for using the word 'ass'). So if you don't make me Furher I guess I'll just have to do it myself…but it would be nice if you put in a good word for me.
Oh, one last thing. I want a pirate outfit for Christmas. Riza says she loves pirates and wants to marry one someday. I know, a little weird, but she's so awesome. Send Riza a pretty white dress too…with a short skirt. She doesn't like dresses but I think its cute seeing a girl with scabs on her knees.
Merry Christmas,
Roy Xavier Mustang
P.S. Don't forget to have Riza deck Maes…oh and possibly give him some coal. Did you know he was throwing rocks at Riza's dog yesterday? He was a pretty good shot too…then Riza one upped him by hitting him dead in the eye with a rock. I heard he needs glasses now…but he still deserves coal for hitting Riza's dog.
Dear Santa,
Hey fat man! This is Edward Elric. I don't even know why I'm writing you considering you don't exist. Al's making me…in fact he's sitting on the other side of the room right now glaring in my direction every few minutes making sure I'm writing. Al said I'm supposed to tell you my wishes…I don't see the point since YOU AREN'T REAL! But for Al I'll do anything so here's what I want. I want a book on alchemy. Mom likes me doing that so I want to make some more stuff for her.
I could also use a new doll for Winry. She didn't like the one we made for her with alchemy…it scares her I think so get a doll for her. Also get Al a kitten…I'm tired of hearing him whine about it.
Signed,
Edward
P.S. I just wasted five minutes of my time for a man that does not exist…be glad your not real fat man or I would totally kick you right now.
Dear Santa,
Well Santa I don't know if I can say the same for my brother but I have been a very good boy this year. I drank all my milk and even some of Edward's. I saved a homeless cat and even cleaned my own room. So Santa I just had a few things I wanted for Christmas this year. First off can you prove to Ed that you exist? He says that no one can travel the world in one night and when I said it was magic he laughed in my face. Don't punish Ed for that though…he just doesn't know any better. Maybe you could make him taller…then he'd believe in you for sure.
As for me I just want a kitten. Mom wouldn't let me keep the one I rescued but I bet if you brought me one she wouldn't say no. Ed doesn't really like cats but he said if I got one he'd put up with it. Thanks so much for reading my letter Santa. I'll be sure to leave you milk and cookies. I just hope Ed doesn't eat the cookies first…he's bad about not leaving stuff alone.
Love,
Al
P.S. Try not to be too hard on Ed, he may act bad but he's really the best brother ever so if he's on your naughty list please take him off.
Author's Note: It's not Christmas but I just had to write these. REVIEW