Disclaimer: All characters belong to Kiera Cass! And none of the songs mentioned in this chapter are mine.
Virtue01: Don't worry, they'll find out soon enough... Thanks so much for reviewing!
alunarselectedreader: I'm updating again! Sorry for the long wait. Thanks again for liking this!
TheElite: Okaaay... To be honest, I spent days wondering how to reply to you. I have to admit, it did make me a bit sad when I read your review, but I actually appreciate the criticism. To know that I've done something wrong is better than being lied to. I will incorporate some of your suggestions into the story, and you can see some of that in this chapter. I'm sorry that you found the last few chapters unsatisfactory, though.
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Booklovin'03: Yay! Glad to see that you like it! Thanks for the support!
Booklovin'03: Yes, I know that Maxon is a jerk... sorry about that. He's just hurt that America is no longer his.
maxericaaa: I'm still taking your suggestion of making Maxon jealous! It's going to happen in later chapters. Thanks for the enthusiasm!
hennah: I am!
Turns out, Silvia planned an impromptu concert for me, knowing that there was something bothering me. I carefully pick out my songs and quietly rehearse in my head as attendants dust makeup on my face.
"Miss Singer? You're ready." Last time I had a concert, I was a broken girl with an even more broken heart. I'm still that girl. But maybe, over time, I can get over it.
All my thoughts of Maxon flew out of my head when I stepped onto the stage, fans cheering me on. And I knew: Even if Maxon didn't love me, there were other people who cared for me.
"Hello, everyone! Tonight, I'll be singing quite a few songs, more than usual. I hope you can find the meaning in the songs I've written. I'll be starting off with one of my new songs, Stand in the Rain." I wanted to start off with a sadder song, and slowly transition the mood between my songs.
Stand in the Rain (by Superchick)
She never slows down.
She doesn't know why
but she knows that when she's all alone,
feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear,
the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from
wants to give up and lie down.
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be back
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain."
It was my way of describing my turmoil over the last few months. I wanted my song to provide hope to others in my predicament. "My next song is White Horse."
White Horse (by Taylor Swift)
"Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known
That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around
Maybe I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around
And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry
'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear view mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now."
I smiled to myself as I finished. The concert lights above me shone even more luminously, and my heart couldn't be beaming more radiantly. Fans cheered me on, showering me with their endless support. "Now, that's my last 'sad' song for the rest of the night! The next song I have in store for you is Somebody That I Used to Know."
Somebody That I Used to Know (by Gotye)
"Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Somebody (I used to know)
(Somebody) Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Somebody (I used to know)
(Somebody) Now you're just somebody that I used to know
I used to know, that I used to know, I used to know somebody."
I shout, "And for our next song, I have Fight Song!" It had an encouraging tune, with astounding motivation behind each beat.
Fight Song (by Rachel Platten)
"Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep
Everybody's worried about me
In too deep
Say I'm in too deep (in too deep)
And it's been two years I miss my home
But there's a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe
And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong (I'll be strong)
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
Know I've still got a lot of fight left in me."
The cheering started before I even finished the last line. "I'm not done yet!" I smiled playfully at my audience. "For you, I have one last song. This isn't like all my other songs, instead, it's a song meant to encourage you. I hope it motivates others like me. Presenting… Firework!"
Firework (by Katy Perry)
"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky
Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down down down
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky
Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down down down
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky
Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down down down
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon."
When I finished singing, I couldn't help but feel the joy possessing me. It streamed down upon me in waves, radiating off my face and reflecting on the faces of the crowd. "Thank you so much for attending! Have a wonderful rest of the evening. Don't forget to stop by me for autographs!"
And as I said those words, my thoughts accidentally strayed to Maxon. It felt different, though, thinking about him. Once I pinpointed what was strange, I realized that my heart wasn't shattering. It didn't splinter even more. And only a strong ache remained.
Maybe I could move on.
Clinging on to that optimistic thought, I nearly skipped to my reception table. And I felt strong. Able to accomplish anything.
Those beliefs wavered a bit when I watched Maxon approach me, Kriss slung over his arm. I kept my composure. After all, our last encounter wasn't pleasant. "Maxon! Wonderful to see you. With a lovely girlfriend, too!" I lied through my gritted teeth.
But I noticed something about Kriss as she gazed adoringly at Maxon. It wasn't a lie. She loved Maxon. And I would accept that. He deserved someone who could love him deeply, not someone like me.
Maxon tensed up. I could tell, from the way his back straightened by a microscopic centimeter, and his arms going stiff. "Kriss, your autograph."
Kriss bounded up to me. "I know that if we knew each other really well, we'd be the best of friends." She let me sign her shirt, again. I could see my last signature, but the doofus hadn't even noticed my previous little message to her.
I smiled politely, my patience wearing thin. "I'm sure that we'd be great friends. I hope to see you at my next concert!" My smile stretches wide, completely and utterly fake, barely masking my request for her to leave.
With a humph, Kriss walks away, dragging Maxon with her. He glances back at me, almost longingly, but I brush it off like one would a fly.
I'm over him.