I made another one. Why? Maybe you should read the summary...
-Chibeh-Chan
I am aware that this is stupid.
Why dating Ed would make you die a little inside
Ed gets shrimp-napped by Mephistopheles
One fine lovely day, a fangirl came by and covered Ed's mouth an nose with a cloth. He passed out. This cloth was no ordinary cloth. IT WAS A FANGIRL CLOTH, HOMIGAWD, And by 'fangirl cloth' I mean a rag with Chloroform on it. Damn you're stupid.
So yeah, the fangirl had shrimp-napped Ed.
When Ed awoke, he was at a diner. He was somewhat frightened being as the girl sitting across from him look almost identical to Mephistopheles(the devil in the Faustus story/myth thing).
"So you've finally woken up!" She extended her scaly hand, "My name is Rabid Edward Fangirl #2649874291073547!"
"Can I call you Mephistopheles instead? It's easier to remember. Not to mention, it fits your personality. And if you're lucky maybe Faustus will sell his soul to ya!"
Mephistopheles smiled brightly. "If that's what you please, my sweet husband!"
"Ye--HUSBAND?"
"Yup! I got some fat hobo to marry us exactly two minutes ago! And congratulations, you're pregnant!"
Edward twitched and looked down. His tummy-tumm was swelling. "Yeah...how long have I been out for?"
Mephistopheles smiled once more, showing teeth and revealing fangs. "Only for twenty-six minutes. I raped you a loooong time ago. You were just too busy to notice!"
"Okay then...I won't get an abortion if we can name it Satan!. Because I already know it will have your...great...looks..." Edward shivered at the thought of how his baby would look.
"Okay, we can name it Satan if it's a girl and Jesus if it's a boy!" Mephistopheles smiled again and one of her fangs fell out. She picked it up and shoved it back into her gums.
Ed grew agitated. "WE WILL NEVER NAME OUR BABY JESUS!"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE JESUS WAS MEAN WHEN WE PLAYED PAINTBALL! AND HE MADE ME RIDE A HIIIIPPPOOOO!"
Then Mephistopheles had a heart attack and Ed's water broke.
Ed's baby was a boy so he shot it. The end.
Okay, that was interesting. Blame me for not taking my medicine. Mephistopheles loves you.
And fangirling makes you loose your hair, your virginity, your good looks, but you do gain some weight from being depressed when the character finally DIES...then comes back to life...AND DIES ONCE MORE...then lives on in rainbows. Tralalalala!
-Chibeh-chan