This chapter takes place eight years before Call It A Hunch begins.

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Chapter 14: The Conjurer and the Dremora

Lost-In-The-Forest was incredibly nervous. A sigil stone. She was sixteen years old and a very talented conjurer, but she was expected to somehow get a sigil stone from an Oblivion gate to progress. How else was she supposed to do that? By getting a Daedra to do it for her, of course. How was she supposed to convince the Daedra to do it for her? She had to beat it in combat. What kind of Daedra was she supposed to beat? A gods-damned Dremora. She knew that one of two things would happen to her. The first was that she beat the Dremora and convinced it to get the sigil stone. The second would be that the powerful Daedra reduced her scaly ass to a fine, red paste. The young Argonian let out a sigh as she reached the roof of the Hall of Attainment. She headed over to the summoning area and brought her hands together, cracked her knuckles, and prepared to cast the spell. Lost-In-The-Forest drew upon her magicka, took a deep breath, and cast the spell. In instant, the Dremora appeared. The Argonian took in his appearance and saw that he had nearly two feet of height on her. Why did she have to be so short for an Argonian? The Dremora glared at Lost-In-The-Forest and snarled, "You dare bring me here? You must be punished."

Lost-In-The-Forest managed to keep the fear out of her voice as she calmly said, "I summoned you. I control you now."

To the mage's dismay, the Dremora drew his blade and said, "You control nothing, mortal!"

In an instant, he charged. Lost-In-The-Forest barely managed to bring her hands up and sent a bolt of lightning in the Dremora's direction. The Daedra somehow managed to dodge the lightning and swung his blade at the Argonian. The young mage yelped and, miraculously, managed to dodge the strike. She sprinted away as fast as her skinny legs could take her. Behind her, she heard the Dremora bellow, "You cannot escape me!"

When the Dremora cornered her by the edge of the roof, Lost-In-The-Forest felt hopeless. Then she saw an opening. The space between the Daedra's powerful legs. She dodged another swing of the sword dove through the opening, rolling to a crouch. The Dremora turned around just in time to take a bolt of lightning to the face. He reflexively grabbed his burned face, unable to see his foe. Lost-In-The-Forest took the chance to send several more lightning bolts his way. Finally, the Dremora collapsed and returned to Oblivion. The Argonian let out a sigh of relief. She reached into one of the pouches on her belt and took out a bottle full of blue liquid. She uncorked the bottle and chugged down the contents of the bottle. Instantly, she felt her magicka levels return to optimum levels. Feeling a bit more confident, the conjurer headed over to the summoning area. She cast the spell to summon the Dremora again. Once again, he appeared where he was summoned. Clearly furious, he snarled, "I am not your plaything, worm!"

Lost-In-The-Forest, her voice sounding more certain than she really was, asked, "Are you ready to submit?"

"Never!" the Dremora bellowed.

The Daedra then charged at the Argonian again. This time, she was ready. She managed to stay out of range of the Dremora's sword as she fired bolt after bolt of lightning at him. He almost got her a few times, but she somehow had an insane amount of luck. Eventually, he fell again. Lost-In-The-Forest, feeling a bit more confident, decided to cast the spell again.

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The Dremora once again found himself in Oblivion after being defeated the second time in a row by the same mortal. To say that he was furious was an understatement. Why did those damn mortals always have to cause such irritation to him? He was minding his own business and sharpening his sword when the Argonian first summoned him. Unbound, he attempted to slay her and both times, she beat him soundly with that damn lightning. At least it was over with, he thought. Thankfully, no other Dremora were around to see him summoned and defeated. He took a step and suddenly found himself on the same roof as before, near the edge. There was the mage, in front of him again. It was then that he finally got a good look at her. This was the one who had defeated him? This short, skinny slip of a girl? She didn't even appear to be fully mature! She was barely even chest-high to him! How in Oblivion did she defeat him? Still, he thought, he would happen next. The petite Argonian smiled at him and said, "I can do this all day."

The Daedra let out a resigned sigh and said, "No, I... I submit. No more. What is your bidding?"

The Dremora raised a brow as the mage did a happy little dance at this. Still bouncing in place, the Argonian said, "Bring me a sigil sto- WAAAAH!"

The mage tripped over her own feet and fell backwards, over the edge of the roof. The Dremora got a good look at the girl's face. His solid black eyes widened in recognition. It all came back to him. His old enemy two centuries in the past. The promise he made to that enemy, sworn on his honor. He knew who this girl was and what he had to do. Baring his teeth in a snarl, he lunged.

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Lost-In-The-Forest was dead. D-E-A-D dead. It was a long fall to the ground and she was going to splatter. Please don't let J'mahi write the epithet on my tombstone, she pleaded mentally as she scrunched her eyes shut. The Khajiit would probably either make her look like Tamriel's most promiscuous mage or a fallen goddess with an ass of steel. Suddenly, she stopped in midair as something grabbed her by the front of her robes. She could feel herself being pulled up, over the edge of the building. Whoever had saved her was still holding her in the air by her tunic. She opened her eyes and saw that the one holding her, the one who had saved her, was none other than the Dremora. Seemingly content that he had saved her, the seven-foot-tall Daedra released her and dropped her unceremoniously back onto the roof. "Now," the Dremora said in his deep, harsh voice, "What did you want?"

"Right, that." Lost-In-The-Forest said, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly, "I kind of need a sigil stone."

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Another day, another bit of magic learned. She had a new spellbook, which she had placed in her pack for future use. She sat down on the steps in front of the College and saw that the Dremora was still there. She smiled up at him and patted the space next to her. The tall creature glared at her but nonetheless sat down. There was an awkward silence. Finally, Lost-In-The-Forest said, "So... I'm going to leave the College of Winterhold to visit my family in Cyrodiil for a while."

"Good for you, Mortal." the Dremora said snarkily.

"Yes, quite." Lost-In-The-Forest said with a frown.

She looked at the Dremora, then looked up at the roof. "So... why did you save me?" she asked.

"To pay a debt from a long time ago." the Dremora said. "Nothing more."

"Ah." the Argonian said. "Favor to an old friend?"

The Daedra let out a dark chuckle. "Old enemy, actually. One of your ancestors."

"Ah." Lost-In-The-Forest said. "Which one?"

The Dremora scoffed. "If you do not know, I see no reason to tell you, Mortal."

Lost-In-The-Forest huffed and folded her arms over the chest. "Fine."

There was a lengthy silence before the teen spoke up again. "So, is that debt repaid or do you still owe my ancestor?"

The Dremora frowned and admitted, "I still owe her."

The Argonian thought about it for a moment before finally coming to a decision. "If you still owe her, you can come with me."

The Dremora whipped his head to stare at the Argonian. "What?"

"Yeah." Lost-In-The-Forest said. "You can come with me. You can protect me. Kill my enemies in any way you want. Well, except for ways that are super messed up like, I don't know, raping something to death. That is, if you don't want to go straight back to Oblivion."

The Dremora seemed to think about it for a bit before coming to a conclusion. He bared his fangs in an evil-looking grin. "It's been a while since I've wrought mayhem in Tamriel. I agree to your terms. I will go with you."

"Great!" Lost-In-The-Forest said happily. She held out her hand and said, "I'm Lost-In-The-Forest. What's your name?"

The Dremora chuckled and took her hand. He inclined his head slightly and introduced himself. "You may call me Sparkticus."

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It had been a year since graduating the Winterhold Mage College, a year and a half since meeting Sparkticus. Lost-In-The-Forest had filled out quite a bit since then- especially her bust, which had tripled in size. Thank goodness for magic brassieres that defied gravity and protected her back. She'd also developed a bit of a booty as well. Basically, in a year and a half, she had grown from being a twig to having an hourglass figure. Now it was her eighteenth birthday and quite a party was going on. She was bound and determined to lose her virginity that night. Her current target was a Dunmer male who was about a head and a half taller than her. He had nice, muscular arms, one of which was tattooed with the symbol of the Imperial Legion. He had a nice body, but it was hard to tell his age and appearance with the bandage covering a third of his face. The Argonian smiled at him and said, "Hi."

The Dunmer smiled back and waved but didn't say anything. Lost-In-The-Forest said, "So, I see that you've served in the Legion."

The elf once again said nothing. Lost-In-The-Forest smiled again and said, "You don't need to be shy."

The Dunmer smiled awkwardly and pointed at his throat. He then began to do a few hand gestures. He was mute, Lost-In-The-Forest realized. Fortunately, she had learned hand-speech as a way to communicate with her old roommate, J'mahi, when they wanted to talk without the instructors knowing. Lost-In-The-Forest signed, 'Sorry. I didn't know that you were mute. My name is Lost-In-The-Forest. What's yours?'

A look of sheer delight appeared on the elf's face. He quickly signed back, 'My name is Thaulsen Havalan. You know hand-speech?'

'Yes.' Lost-In-The-Forest signed. 'Back at Mage College, I used to have a Khajiit roommate who liked to get into trouble and she usually dragged me into it, too.'

Thaulsen let out a grunting noise that Lost-In-The-Forest figured out was supposed to be a laugh. The elf then signed, 'I know how that goes. I knew this guy in basic. Biggus Diccus was his name. Don't laugh. He was always pranking the other guys and liked to drag me into his shenanigans, whether I liked it or not. By some miracle, he managed to not get kicked out.'

Lost-In-The-Forest barely managed to hold back a laugh. She couldn't hide the amused look on her face, though. 'Was his name really Biggus Diccus?' she signed.

'I swear on my mother's grave.' the soldier signed back.

Steeling herself, the Argonian decided to go for it. "If you want to tell more stories, we can take it to my room."

Thaulsen glanced out the window before looking back at Lost-In-The-Forest. He smirked at her an signed, 'Sure, why not? I'm off the clock now anyway.'

'Off the clock?' Lost-In-The-Forest signed.

'I'm security at this party. I assume that you're one of the guests?' Thaulsen signed in reply.

'Something like that. So, how about it?' the Argonian signed, 'Nothing is stopping us.'

"No boys in your room." A deep, rough voice said right behind her.

Lost-In-The-Forest winced. Nothing stopping them except for a Daedric chaperone who was currently disguised as a Redguard man. The young Argonian sighed and turned around. "I'm a grown adult, Achmet." the Conjurer ground out.

"I don't care." Sparkiticus replied. "You're still eighteen and until you're twenty-one, your parents can still decide who you marry according to the law in this stupid place."

"Since when do you care about who I marry or the law in Cyrodiil?" Lost-In-The-Forest asked.

"Normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass who you fuck or when or where you fuck them and marriage is an idiotic concept, but your grandmother is here in Imperial City." Sparkticus said with a roll of his eyes. He then folded his arms over his chest and huffed. "As we both know, the woman is a retired mage college instructor specializing in Destruction. I'd rather not have my cock blown off by that hag's spells."

Thaulsen very visibly flinched. Clumsily, Sparkticus signed, 'If you sweet roll the fish knuckle, I will kill you. Slowly.'

"Achmet, please stop trying to sign." Lost-In-The-Forest groaned. "You're embarrassing yourself."

'You could have someone else teach him.' Thaulsen suggested.

"I don't think anyone would have the patience to teach him more signs." Lost-In-The-Forest replied. "He only knows the violent ones and some of the dirty ones."

"Give me one reason why I should leave you unsupervised." Sparkticus said tersely.

"Don't make me command you." Lost-In-The-Forest replied firmly.

The Argonian and the disguised Dremora locked eyes. There was a few seconds of silence before Sparkticus Finally turned away. "Fine." the Dremora huffed. "But if your grandmother finds out, dismiss me before she gets here. The woman could make Dagon flinch."

Sparkticus then walked away. Thaulsen turned to Lost-In-The-Forest and signed, 'What did he mean by dismiss?'

"It's a long story." the Argonian replied. "Now, are we going to have fun or not?"

'Do you have protection?' the Dunmer inquired.

"Yeah." Lost-In-The-Forest said. "Now, how about we do the nasty?"

With that said, the Conjurer took the soldier by the hand and led him to her room. Over the course of the night, the nasty was done multiple times- Lost-In-The-Forest and Thaulsen in one room, Sparkticus and a random Imperial woman with a very fine ass in another. In the morning, both pairs separated, the Dunmer and the Argonian with a kiss. The Dremora, on the other hand, asked the Imperial what her name was again and got slapped. Lost-In-The-Forest's grandmother showed up that afternoon and thankfully, she never found out about the young mage's dalliance and Sparkticus' manhood was quite literally spared from Destruction.