Icha Icha Brokeback Mountain
The story I'm about to tell is totally unmoral, sick, perverted and completely yaoi, for starters I would like to make clear that I don't have the complete story just bits and pieces, I'm not a stalker or actually yes I'm, but I don't stalk that kind of people. Only girls… okay okay… Only Tsunade-sama…
It all started on one hot summer day, when two ninjas from the Konoha village were searching for a job and I, the Great Jiraiya, happily complied and gave them the important job a herding my lambs. (Yes! I in fact own a large herd of sheep… and don't give me that queer eye; I don't do anything with them I just sell their wool and meat!) Well Sasuke and Naruto were desperately in need of money, and since Kakashi and Iruka had been killed by a giant flock of fangirls; when they told they were going to move together, they didn't have anyone else to turn on. So I gave them my herd and told them to take it to the hills near Valley of the End, called Brokeback Mountain. There Naruto would sleep with the sheep and keep them company, guarding them from the surprise attacks of utterly perverted sound-nins while Sasuke would camp at the regulated camping site and fetch their rations weekly from Ichiraku-ramen. So off they went, jumping happily from three to three with the sheep. (Yes sheep are rather agile jumpers…) Of course if I would have known what would happen to them, I would have newer sent them, or at least not without a camera. Only equipment that I had given them were few ninja scrolls, five boxes of condoms, lubricant, two clocks, beans, more beans and ramen.
It only took two hours of jumping and pushing the sheep over the fences (you try jumping over the fences when you have four Narutos hanging to your legs!), easy when you know Kage Bunshin no jutsu, to get to the Brokeback Mountain area. When the utterly drained couple finally got to the campsite it was already getting dark and so Naruto had to leave immediately to the sheep so he could put them to sleep. Sasuke wasn't happy; he had pictured their first night to be filled with passionate yaoi-action, and beans. But now he only got the beans, they were cold and even had to put the tent up by himself.