Disclaimer: No. I don't own Saiyuki and never will.
This is a one-shot and a Goku Centric. Now revamped! Forgive me if this is not my usual writing style… I actually prefer to create happier ones. The only one you can blame is my mp3 player: holds it hostage. (listens to emo music)
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There is a veil clouding my thoughts lately. I can barely find the time to think about important things that this journey brings. I guess I really am not the Seitan Taisen after all. The immortal being that is thought to have fallen from the heavens. Now that I think about it, everything was just a joke… The journey West, the sacred scriptures and my immortal form. Maybe even life...
I can feel myself slipping away, disenigrating into sweet oblivion...I just wish I had told them sooner. I can just imagine the look on Hakkai's face, Gogyo's expression and Sanzo's quiet acknowledgement as I tell them the words "I'm Dying." No… I'm going to live each day to the fullest.
Play till you're tired.
Sleep till you're refreshed.
Eat till you're full.
Live life to its limit.
That is my philosophy and I will stand by it no matter what.
On the road, the Kappa and me are still fighting. I guess it was something I was expected to do. Like I was expected to clamp onto Sanzo and yell Herahetta! If I didn't I would not have the essence of Goku. But I will always end up laughing in the end. Then Sanzo would shut us up with his infamous fan.
And Hakkai will eventually calm us down. Before I leave, I just wanted to do one little thing for Sanzo... Something to cheer him up and stop reminicing about his past. So I act immature just to cheer him up. Hakkai always said the venting relieves stress. I guess it's okay if he takes it out on me, as I was happy to help Sanzo heal even a little.
I help carry our bags into the inn since the rain was pouring outside. As usual, Sanzo was staring blankly into space as Hakkai was deep in thought. Gogyo just didn't feel like carrying them. A thick nostalgic atmosphere hangs over our heads... it's going to be one of those days.
Please forgive me if I can't help all of you… I'm not perfect. One thing I wish I could do was to soak up all of these unhappy memories and keep it. So we could make our own happy ones. Forgive me if I'm selfish…I'm asking for too much. Because every time you try to open up, Sanzo… you only end up pushing someone further away.
So no regrets… please don't look to the past and hope to change it- Hakkai, Sanzo and Gojyo. I'm not saying not to regret something you done. I regret too… but, unlike you, I look to each tomorrow with hope…
With the thought that I really was dying, I could feel drowsiness overtake me. Except this time I wasn't just tired.
Before I knew it, I was falling. I could feel Hakkai desperately trying to revive me with healing chi as a faint glow seeped through my skin.
And I hoped he could understand my message. I opened my glazed golden eyes and desperately willed for them to understand.
Someone did. Someone took off the diadem.
With one last shaking breath, I managed "thank you" and my soul was set free.
I guess nothing does last forever. But changes last a lifetime.
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Okay, so what did you think? I guess I got the thought of Goku dying because of the diadem he always wore. Maybe it's holding him back from something and killing him little by little? Any a review would be most appreciated. Please dial 1-800-REVIEW-NOW! and Goku will be resurrected!( presses resurrection button) Goku: "..."