Chapter 3
It was dawn when Kagome finally emerged from the woods. She was covered in dirt and blood, her clothes were torn. She was exhausted.
Slowly walking toward the castle, Kagome saw that Midoriko-Sama was waiting for her. She stood a bit taller, steeling her eyes Kagome and putting in place a mask of indifference. She had just been through hell and back, and as much as she loved and respected Midoriko, there was no way she'd sit there and take a lecture.
"Midoriko-Sama before you say anything-"
"Get cleaned up." The shock was obvious on the young girl's face.
"That's it? That's all you have to say?"
"You look tired and I'm sure you're hungry. Get cleaned up and I'll have something brought to you."
"No...training today?" Kagome asked incredulously.
Midoriko just gave her a sad yet knowing look, "No, not today." Kagome gave her a small smile in appreciation. She stopped short in the entryway to turn and look at her mentor.
"Midoriko-Sama I need you to ask the guards to do me a favor."
After taking a quick bath and changing her clothes Kagome set off to find Hojo's house. She remembered Hojo saying that he was an only child. His father had died when he was a young boy, which made him the man of the house. Even though Hojo's dream was to go to the continent and study medicine, he'd put his life on hold to take care of his mother.
Walking up to the modest home Kagome felt sick. Her palms were sweaty, her throat was dry, and she felt like she was going to pass out. How could she face this woman knowing she was the reason her son was dead? Taking a deep breath Kagome walked up to the hut and knocked. She waited there, holding her breath, until an aging woman answered the door.
Her salt and pepper hair was hidden under a cloth scarf. She had on a simple yukata that any village woman would wear. Her apron was worn and stained from years of use. Her eyes weary and sunken in. It seemed as if she hadn't slept in days.
"Hello, Akitoki-san. My name is Kagome" She started nervously, bowing deeply to the woman.
"I know who you are. You are the woman who killed my son, according to what the guards told me." Her tone was neither cold nor angry. It was easy to see that this woman had been through much in her life, that she'd lost so much. Her words were sad, yet coated in a tone that sounded tired.
"I wanted to say...I'm sorry. I know there is nothing I could do or say to make you feel better. I take full responsibility for Hojo-kun's death and if you hate me I completely understand, I hate me too. I'm so so sorry Akitoki-san."
"I do not hate you child and I do not blame you for his death. He talked very highly of you. I hadn't seen him this happy since before his father passed. He loved you very much." For the first time the older woman smiled, and it broke Kagome's heart.
"Please know that I loved him too." Bowing deeply once more as a tear slipped from her eye and landed in the dirt. Wiping the tear away Kagome stood and apologized once more. Turning to walk away she stopped when Hojo's mother called her name.
"Thank you. For staying with him and protecting him. Now I can bury him next to his father."
Kagome smiled sadly, turning away as sent the woman a nod in acknowledgement.
Kagome sat in her room staring at the red rose Hojo had given her. Gently she fingered the soft petals thinking about all the moments she had shared with Hojo. It scared her how deep her feelings for him ran in such a short time. It scared her to think of how delicate and short lived a human life was.
She heard a soft knock on the door and allowed the maid, who was carrying a tray of food, entrance into her room.
"Thank you, but I'm not hungry." The maid set down the tray anyway and closed the door behind her. Kagome continued to sit and stare at the rose. A drop of water landed on the petal, lifting her hand to her cheek Kagome realized she was crying. She had been doing so much of that lately, it made it her feel all the more pathetic.
Another knock sounded on the door, but before Kagome could shoo them away Midoriko walked in. Kagome quickly wiped her face and nose.
"Can I help you, Midoriko-Sama?" Kagome asked.
"The maid told me you refused to eat. I wanted to check on you."
"I wasn't hungry."
"Kagome I know you're upset over Hojo, but-"
"How would you know how I feel?" Kagome's tone was sharp, her eyes burning with her efforts to keep her tears at bay. "You don't know anything!"
"I know more than you think," Midoriko said coldly.
"I was protecting this world long before you were even a thought. Demons care little for the weak and will take advantage of any opportunity to take down an enemy and gain power. In battle it will always be more than just your own life on the line. People you know, people you love, as long as demons roam their lives will always be in danger and any proximity to you will make it even more so." Softening her tone Mirdoriko took a seat next to Kagome on her futon.
"You did what you had to do Kagome. There was no other way."
"Wasn't there?" Kagome said quietly. She looked towards the window as more tears trailed over her cheeks.
"I should've kept fighting, kept thinking of a way to keep him alive. I was tired, so tired, but I wasn't going to let Hojo die. He told me to do it because he knew I was exhausted. People in this world are depending on me to save them. What kind of savior am I if the people I'm supposed protect die by my own hand?"
"Kagome-"
"I went to see his mother today. I needed to apologize to her. I let Hojo down, but I wanted her to know I didn't give up on him. I tried Midoriko-sama, I really did!" Throwing her arms around her teacher Kagome released the last of the tears she had. It was in this moment Midoriko remembered how young Kagome truly was. It crushed her to know that it would be a long while before Kagome's pain would begin to stop, because things like this never got any easier.
From then on the young warrior locked away her heart. Her duty was her life, and her life was to her duty. If she kept her heart protected it could never be used against her again. She killed ruthlessly without so much as a second thought. All in the name of protecting the world from an evil it'd never seen before.
As Kagome matured into a young woman, she was hailed for her beauty and her strength. Any demon or wicked human who challenged her was a fool, and met their end quickly.
"Kagome you should come inside, it's getting late." Midoriko and her had been training all day. But she wasn't ready to go inside yet, she had too much energy to lay down for the night.
"I'll be in in a minute." Midoriko tried not to let it show but she worried about Kagome. It had been almost two years since Hojo's death, and Midoriko noticed the steady change in her student. Everyday Kagome became less herself, more emotionless, and more callous. Her striking looks and cold demeanor had earned her the name 'The Deadly Siren.'
But Midoriko would continue to hold out hope. No matter how deep she tried to bury it, the essence of the once innocent girl Kagome had been still remained.
"You have lost your way Kagome, but he will bring you back. I was wrong to think you could do it all alone. I have been shown, that you must allow the walls you've created to be taken down. Only with others can you attain your goals and lead this world into a new era of peace."
updated 9/2/22
mainly wording and style changes to better suit the way I write now and not how I did at 17 when I was first writing this fic lol