Trial By Furry - Kim thinks she can do anything, but can she defend Drakken when he's put on trial by a bunch of talking critters for 'crimes against inhumanity'! Uh oh! Is Kim Possible going 'funny animal' on us? Well, not quite. First in a series of stories that will blow the lid off the world of Kim Possible and lead to The Last Kim Possible Story. Whatever you do, do not reveal the surprise shock ending!
Trial By Furry
A Kim Possible Teleplay by Shawn Q. Evans
Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.
Effie M. Bondie copyright 2006 Shawn Q. Evans
Watch Kim Possible on Disney Channel, ABC Kids and Toon Disney. Check local listings.
Scene 2 - In the courtroom. Various animal characters populate the court and the public gallery. Kim and Ron sit in the audience area behind the defendant's table, where Drakken and Shego sit along with the public defender, Iago, the parrot from Aladdin. The prosecutor, a fox, sits at the other table.
Kim: Wow. Looks like nearly every intelligent animal is here! This must be big!
Ron surveys the crowd.
Ron: Is that Chippy back there? What's that he's wearing?
Shego: So, does Drakken have a chance?
Iago: Oh, sure! I know the judge. They said it was a bear. It must be Winnie! He's an old softie! Don't worry!
The bailiff, a wolf, announces the judge.
Wolf bailiff: All rise for Judge Liverlips McGrowl.
Judge Liverlips McGrowl takes his place at the bench.
Iago: Uh oh. We're screwed.
Judge Liverlips McGrowl: We're here today to decide the fate of one Doctor Drakken for crimes against inhumanity.
Iago: We're really screwed!
Judge: How does the defendant plead?
Drakken: I reject this entire court! I also wish to protest my inhumane treatment! I've-I've been treated like an animal!
The entire court goes silent.
Pause
Iago: That went over well! Nice knowing ya, pal!
Kim: Ron, this doesn't look good.
Ron: What's the problem, Kim? Drakken finally gets what he deserves! Works for me!
Kim: Yeah, about that...
Kim rises to address the judge.
Kim: Your honor, if I may, what would happen to Drakken if he was convicted?
Judge: He would suffer our most severe penalty, Miss?
Kim: Possible. Kim Possible. If it please the court, I'd like to sign on myself and Ron Stoppable as lawyers for the defense.
Court erupts in murmurs.
Ron: Kim! What are you doing?
Kim: Help me out, Ron! We have to do this! Drakken may be a bad guy, but even he doesn't deserve 'the most severe penalty'!
Ron: But, Kim, he's Drakken, our enemy, and...
Kim (puppy dog pout): Please?
Ron: Oh, not the puppy dog...
A dog in the audience stares at Ron.
Ron: …I mean…Oh, forget it! I know when I'm beat! Okay, I'll help you defend Drakken!
Kim and Ron take their place at the defendant's table.
Shego: You just HAVE to play the hero, don't you, Kimmie?
Drakken: Fine! But we shall never speak of this outside of this courtroom!
Kim: Whatever, you two! Your honor, I question the jurisdiction of this court to try the defendant, Drakken.
Prosecutor Fox: Your honor, the defendant has committed crimes in multiple jurisdictions all over the world, including several where our populace lives, as we shall show the court.
In the gallery, Foxey Loxey sits with Runt the pig and Chicken Little.
Foxey Loxey: That's my Dad!
Judge: Overruled, Miss Possible. Any other objections?
Kim: Um, just that, how can Drakken have a jury of his peers when, ah, this is the jury pool!
Kim motions with her arm to the animals in the gallery.
Judge: Oh, that's already been decided. Bring in the jury!
Prof. Ramesh, Prof. Chen, Mr. Dr. Possible, Prof. Dementor, Monkey Fist, Dr. Bortel, Jack Hench, DnAmy and Prof. Acari file in to the jury box.
Kim: Dad? You're part of this, too!
Mr. Dr. Possible: Sorry, Kim! As a scientist, I'm bound to obey the laws of man and nature. Or at least one of those.
Drakken: Et tu, Monkey Fist?
Monkey Fist: Sorry, old man! They made me an offer I couldn't refuse - all the bananas I and my monkey ninjas can eat!
The monkey ninjas in the gallery whoop it up - with bananas.
Prof. Dementor: They offered you bananas? For me, it vas schnitzel!
Prof. Dementor rubs his hands and stares straight at Runt. Runt squeals and runs off.
Foxey Loxey: Runt! Wait! Wiener schnitzel is made from veal, not pork!
Kim: Your honor, I object! The defendant has attacked most of the members of the jury more than once!
Prosecutor Fox: Your honor, I'm prepared to prove that the jury is acceptable.
Judge: Proceed, Prosecutor Fox.
Fox: Thank you, your honor. Drakken? Excuse me, Dr. Drakken. I must confess before this trial I had not heard of you. I know everyone here is familiar with DnAmy's creations, and when Prof. Dementor menaced the entire world with his cybertronic robots...
Drakken: That wasn't Dementor! That was me!
Fox: Come again?
Drakken: It was my genius that created the cybertronic terrors that threatened the whole world!
Shego: Drakken, you idiot!
Drakken: What? It was so me!
Fox: I submit, your honor, that as the defendant has attacked everyone in the world, these jurors are just as acceptable as any others that could be found.
Judge: Overruled, Miss Possible. The jurors stay.
Drakken: Oh. Snap.
Shego: Way to go, genius!
Drakken: Don't blame me, Shego. I was outfoxed! Because he's a fox! That's what he does!
Ron: Kim, I think we're gonna need help!
Kim: I think you're right!
Kim on her Kimmunicator.
Kim: Wade, here's the sitch. We need backup - of the legal kind! And quick!
Scene 3 - Kim welcomes the new defense attorney, Effie M. Bondie, a female lawyer with short, blonde, wavy hair who wears spectacles.
Kim: Thank you so much for coming, Effie!
Effie: Ah'm always prepared to help those who've helped me, Kim.
Ron: This - THIS - is who you got to help us? She's the one who should be on trial, after she...
Kim: Ron! She's an excellent attorney! She was just doing her job in those other cases! I'm sorry, Effie!
Effie: It's okay, Kim. Ah get that a lot.
Shego: What a team we make! A cheerleader, her bumbling sidekick, me - a villain, and a lawyer most people despise! Drakken's got absolutely nothing to worry about!
Kim: Would it kill you to be positive for once?
Shego: Probably.
Next: Hamsterviel turns states' evidence against Drakken!
And cameos from Roachie, Lilo & Stitch, and...Rufus' family?