Trail by Furry - Can Kim defend Dr. Drakken when he's put on trial by talking critters for 'crimes against inhumanity'? Funny Animals meet So The Courtroom Drama in the first installment of The Last Kim Possible Story! Whatever you do, do not reveal the surprise shock ending!
Trial By Furry
A Kim Possible Teleplay by Shawn Q. Evans
Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.
Effie M. Bondie copyright 2006 Shawn Q. Evans
Watch Kim Possible on Disney Channel, ABC Kids and Toon Disney. Check local listings.
Scene 7 - The defense of Drakken begins.
Defense Attorney Effie M. Bondie: Looks like you'll get a chance to redeem yourself, Ron!
Ron: Huh?
Effie: The defense calls Ronald Stoppable to the stand.
Ron: Me? How can I..?
Effie: Just answer the questions, Ronald. Now then, you spent a Christmas with the defendant, correct?
Ron: Oh yeah! We had cupcakes and sang Christmas carols!
Effie: We?
Ron: All of us! Me, Kim, the Possibles, Drakken, Shego.
Flashback to A Very Possible Christmas.
Drakken sings: Hey gang, it's not the turkey and the stuffing.
Or the gifts around the tree
Ron sings: It's a warm and fuzzy feeling
that begins with you and me
Drakken sings: So put away those petty problems, and
Both Drakken and Ron sing: Embrace your fellow maaaaaan
And join the celebration
all across this wonderful land
The whole group celebrates/sings: Have a ringaling jingaling Kris Kringaling Christmas!
Have a hopalong singalong happy holiday!
And when the snow starts glistening
we'll hoist a hearty cheer
Snowman Hank joins in.
for the rootinest tootinest hi-falutinest
favorite time of year! Yee-ha!
End flashback.
Shego: Yah! Why does he have to include me in this! I was trying - and succeeding - in forgetting that!
Drakken: You're not the only one who's worried about his rep, Shego!
Shego: Hello? They're supposed to be trying to defend you!
Effie: So his take over the world schemes took a holiday on Christmas?
Ron: Yes.
Effie: What's your opinion of Drakken? As evil as they say?
Ron: Haven't thought about it. Not so evil, I suppose. I mean, he did like Snowman Hank!
Effie: Thank you, Mr. Stoppable. Your witness, Fox.
Prosecutor Fox: Mr. Stoppable, was there anything else the defendant, Drakken, said at this temporary break from his quest to take over the world?
Ron: Not following. Sorry.
Fox: Perhaps if I refresh your memory. Did he not say that, after the new year, and I quote, "I'm going to open a bag of freak on all of you!"?
Flashback to A Very Possible Christmas.
Drakken: Of course, once we enter the new year, the truce is over!
I'm going to open a bag of freak on all of you!
End flashback.
Ron: Where do you get this stuff?
Fox: Answer the question, Mr. Stoppable.
Ron: Well, he might have said something like that.
Fox: Need I remind you that you're under oath?
Ron: Okay. Yes, he did say that.
Fox: Thank you.
Ron goes back to the defense table. He's dejected.
Ron: Sorry, KP! I know how much this means to you.
Kim: You did great, Ron! It's not your fault. You have to give truthful testimony.
Ron: What I don't get is how Fox knew all that! It's almost as if...
Ron spies Drakken winking at Fox.
Ron: Hey! You better not be helping the prosecution!
Shego: Lay off, Stoppable! Even Dr. D isn't that dumb! Are you?
Drakken: Please! The buffoon is mad because he failed again, as usual!
Ron: If I'm defending you, you better call me by my name! Or, Kim or no Kim..!
Kim: Ron! Dial it down!
Drakken: Of course, Ronald! After all, we are old buddies, aren't we? Perhaps you'd like to sing a few songs together? My Ronnie lies over the ocean, my Ronnie lies over the sea...
Shego giggles.
Ron: Yeah. Ha ha. Very funny.
Drakken: Shego, do you know what Ronald would be called if he was dizzy?
Shego: What, Dr. D?
Drakken: Veer-ronica!
Drakken pantomines flailing from side to side.
Shego: Ha ha ha!
Ron sulks.
Ron: It was better when he wasn't using my name!
Kim: Real mature, Doc!
Effie: Playtime's over. Shego. Witness stand. Now.
Shego: Me? Are you serious?
Shego on the witness stand.
Effie: I understand you have proof Drakken isn't evil.
Shego: I do?
Effie looks at her transcript/notes.
Effie: Yes. There was a supervillain convention, with a badness meter...
Shego: Oh, right! I remember now. Almost as if it were yesterday...
Flashback to Bad Boy. Drakken tests his evilness.
Drakken: Oh look! Test your badness level!
Drakken tries the device. The badness level rises on the machine.
Drakken: Hah! Feast your eyes on that!
Jack Hench: Huh! Playground bully.
Drakken (baffled): What ground, what what?
Shego tries the badometer. It rises to the top and dings.
Shego: Face it Dr. D! You're not as bad as you think!
Drakken: You mean - I'm not evil?
Shego: Unpleasant. Annoying. But evil? Not so much.
End flashback.
Effie: So Dr. Drakken's unpleasant. Annoying. A playground bully. But not evil?
Shego: You got it!
Effie: Not evil, and hardly deserving of the 'severest penalty'! Thank you, Shego! That will be all. Your turn.
Fox: Thank you. Now, Miss Shego..? Is 'She' your first name, and 'Go" your last? Or is 'Shego' your first name, and something else your last name, such as 'Pryzbylowski'? Or...
Shego gets mad. Her restraints start to glow as her plasma is activated inside them.
Shego: It's just Shego, alright? One name. That's it!
Fox: Fine. Shego it is. Can you tell me what Drakken does every Friday night?
Shego: I don't know. Karaoke?
Fox: Yes. And how would you describe his performance? Good? Bad?
Shego: If this is all you got, Fox, you might as well give up now!
Fox: Oh, I have more. Now answer the question.
Shego: Okay, it's bad! Satisfied?
Drakken: Gasp! Shego! Your words hurt!
Shego: Yeah. Yeah. Too bad, Doc! 'Under oath' and all that! Besides, I'm evil, remember? I'm supposed to say things like that!
Fox addresses the jury.
Fox: Lady and gentlemen of the jury. Bad karaoke. Is there anything more evil than that?
Shego: I can think of a few things.
Fox: I'm sure you can. Such as...yourself!
Shego: What?
Fox: I direct the jury's attention to the Animal's Exhibit A.
Fox puts onscreen a photo of Team Go, back in the day. Hego, Mego, Wego and a smiling Shego pose for the camera.
Shego: Where did you get that?
Fox: Internet. Let the record show Shego was good once, a hero who nobly fought the war against evil - until she met Dr. Drakken!
Shego: That's not true!
Fox: Which part? Do you deny you were good once, and a hero?
Shego: N-no.
Fox: So you WERE good once?
Shego: Yes, damn you!
Fox: Language! So you deny what, that Drakken turned you evil?
Shego: Yes! He wasn't responsible for that!
Fox: I see. Care to tell us how that happened?
Shego: I...No.
Fox: Drakken's twisted her so she can't even talk about it! Thank you, Shego! It's been a pleasure!
Effie: Objection, your honor! Speculation unsupported by the facts! Ah'm just an old country lawyer, but even ah know...
Judge Liverlips McGrowl: And I'm just an old Country Bear! Overruled! If you want to dispute Prosecutor Fox's statements, Ms. Bondie, I suggest you get to it with your witness!
Effie: Er, yes, your honor! Now, Shego, we need to know what happened. How did you turn evil? Did Drakken have anything to do with it?
Shego: Believe me when I say, it wasn't his fault.
Effie: But, Shego, we need proof! A man's fate is in the balance.
Shego pauses, looks at Drakken, responds to Effie, then looks down.
Shego: I...I don't talk about this subject. Ever. With anyone. Sorry, Doc.
Effie: I see. Thank you, anyway, Shego.
Shego goes back to the defense table. Ron stares at her.
Shego: What are you staring at, sidekick?
Ron: You. Why do you stay with Drakken, anyway? Why are you here? I don't get you at all!
Shego: There's nothing to 'get', you simple-minded..!
Kim: Ron! Quit antagonizing members of our defense team!
Ron: What? It's just a simple question!
Kim: Ron, if Shego won't answer, she must have a good reason! Right, Shego?
Shego: Blow it out your ear, Kimmie!
Kim fumes.
Effie: Stop fighting! We need to decide what to do next!
Ron: That was all the defense you had?
Effie: On such short notice, yes.
Kim: Why don't I testify?
Effie: Ah don't think that's such a good idea, Kim! You witnessed most of Drakken's bad acts. If you go on the stand, Fox will bring all of that up and puree' our client!
Kim: But-but...
Fox: What's the matter, Miss Possible? I thought you could do anything, but you can't defend Dr. Drakken?
Kim: You..!
Effie: Don't give in, Kim! He's just trying to goad you!
Kim: I know! But I've - I've never felt this useless!
Shego: Join the club! Drakken's club, I mean!
Drakken: Shego!
Shego: Relax, Doc! Just trying to loosen the tension! Seriously, what are we going to do?
Effie: We could argue mental state.
Ron: Yeah, he is blue! That could have affected his mind!
Shego: Not to mention the fact he keeps on trying to take over the world, even though a teen girl always beats him!
Kim: Speak for yourself, Shego!
Shego: Grrr!
Drakken (yells): No! I refuse! I am not crazy! I know everything I did and what's more, I'd do it all again!
Shego: A little louder, Dr. D! I don't think the hibernating bears heard you!
Effie: Does anyone know if a glove is involved? Or if any of the animal law enforcers are speciesists?
Effie is greeted with blank stares all around.
Effie: Then ah've got nothing!
Kim thinks hard, then smiles.
Kim: I've got it! I know how to save Drakken!
Next:
What does Kim have planned? Will it be enough?
Bet you were wondering when she was going to get in on the action! It's only her cockamamie series!
With all the cameos, Kim didn't have a lot to do. That's all going to change now, though! And how!
In the next chapter you'll get some inkling what this story and the next few stories are all about.
Here's a hint: It's not about funny animals!
While I refer to events that occurred in the trial in THE END (the final, final wrapup to the whole Kim Possible series), you do realize all the guest star cameos and funny animal bits were just to lull you into a false sense of security, before I unleash…nope, not gonna give it away! But I wonder what it could be? Hmmm.
I am following all the 'Disney rules' in this series, so what could it be?
Notes
So the courtroom drama, eh? Don't you just love to see them all of them (Kim, Ron, Drakken, Shego) supposedly working together, yet they can't stop bickering with each other? I know I do! Fun stuff.
Before anyone asks, Fox didn't quiz Ron on any of the bad things he witnessed Drakken do because people (and animals) tend to forget Ron's present at these events. He fades into the woodwork, while Kim's front and center (see the episode Showdown At The Crooked D).
And Fox didn't ask Shego about Drakken's plots because, even in the world of animal justice, you're not compelled to give testimony against yourself, which is what she would be doing if she told of the evil schemes she's seen Drakken do, since she was a party to all of them. Since Shego isn't facing critter court, Fox has no bargaining power with her.
Why PryzbylowskI? Because it's a funny (yet real) name. According to the creators, Shego's name is…Shego. Don't believe anything else someone may have written. Her name is not 'Sheila' or some other derivation.
Shego's a mystery, and probably always will be. I have some theories about her, but if I told you what they were, she'd kill me! Maybe after THE END (in an epilogue).
I needed a Country Bear to be Judge just to get in that 'country lawyer' joke. Long way to go to get a joke, eh?
Effie's mentions of a 'glove' and 'law enforcer speciesists' are, of course, references to the O.J. Simpson trial.
As for Drakken taking the stand in his own defense - WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
There's a reason Drakken's mom, Mrs. Lipsky and Drakken's cousin, Motor Ed, don't appear in this story. They play a role later on in the series.