For my friend Heart. She's a great friend, and has give me so much that I think it's time to give her something back. I hope you like this, Heart!
Birthday Candles
Darkness had long since swept the land, mingling with sugary sand and sweeping it into the ocean's gentle embrace, swirling with its fellow sediment and creating ripples along the shore as high tide began to tumble in. Low, almost mournful crashes, devoid of the seagull's cry. No wind blew and billowed through tiny flags dug into mounds of sand that were slowly being swept away, sand castles meeting their demise one by one.
And the walls came crumbling down.
No birds twittered, no leaves whispered to each other in hushed voices in the night. But the darkness spoke loud enough for all to hear, filling their ears with a hollow laugh that sounded so distant to them now, like a broken radio that was slowly losing power as the voice faded into static.
The dark spoke of many things, and it laced together memories that were forgotten when the sun hung high in the sigh, sometimes breaching the surface of their thoughts when thunder rumbled at noon, but only skimming the edge of their conscience before diving back into the refracted depths of their hearts, the forgotten corner, a missing piece ripped away from them, leaving behind broken laughs and a flickering image of bright blue eyes.
A flicker of light erupted from a small window, creamy lace curtains covering the glass, but the glow of a candle burning, however, dim, through the cloth. Dainty hands held the stout candle firmly before sliding it into it's base, letting the metal clasp hold it in place, as warm light danced across the table of her living room. Washing over the blank, pale face of a simple cake, decorated with a customary cream frosting and studded with tiny blue flowers, molded by she herself.
And gently, slowly, she smiled, as her fingers ripped open a small cardboard box. The noise cut across the room like lightning, but falling deft upon ears that were already filled with a cheerful voice, vision dancing with images of a happy grin.
Things she excepted she'd never see again.
And slowly, very slowly, she slid a white birthday candle from the box, one with bright green stripes twining around it, before softly pressing it into the cake, letting it sink slowly.
"One candle... One heart, one destiny... One was always a hopeful number." She smiled sadly. "What about now, Sora? Is it such a lucky number now?" And then, picking up the candle holder, she dipped it low and set the wick aflame, watching it spark before igniting.
And the candle's light didn't miss rebounding off of pristine drops of liquid that had started to gather at the corners of her eyes.
Dark rain fell, blacker then the darkest of midnights, seeping slowly into his eyes that were clouded blurrily by sopping wet brown that hung over his forehead, tickling his nose and cheeks. He lifted an impatient hand to brush it away, frowning in annoyance, more focused on the task at hand.
Something that proved more difficult with each step he took. For in his heart, he felt something. Something forbidden, and wrong, something he hadn't felt in such a long time.
It was what he got from being alone so long. But just how long had it been? A year? Two? Three? His face didn't seem any different to him. Hardened, just the way it always was.
Right.
A soft sigh, escaping paled lips, stretching out through a mouth that used to only speak words of courage and innocence, laughter and encouragement.
"Kairi... what would you think of me now?"
A second lit up, joining the first on opposite sides of the cake, each flame casting a bright reflection over her violet eyes.
"Two years... two years it took me to realize that you were never going to come home. Was it a mistake to believe, Sora? Did I make a mistake? To keep my faith in you...?"
A terrible urge was engulfing him once more, and on command, one that he never bothered to give anymore, Sora summoned it forth, closing his fist in thin air and meeting a solid steal hilt.
A small smirk graced his lips, one that hurt. as did every other facial expression he ever made these nights.
All eyes were on him now, glowing yellow and bright, almost as smug as him. They were winning, weren't they? A place of pure hearts was beating the one who supposedly had the strongest. Invincible. Untouchable.
But Sora was the one who had the last laugh. For unbeknownst to them, Sora was far ahead in the game, winning with every drop of blood that leaked from his body.
The fight for freedom. A fight that could only be won one way, and fight he'd given up everything for. His friends. His innocence.
His soul.
And now, his heart.
A third.
"It was always just the three of us. And deep within our hearts, we all knew that one day, someone would become the third wheel. And we also knew that Riku would have been it. And we'd soon leave him behind. Is that what drove him into darkness? Was it really our fault all along?"
The melted wax simply seeped into the icing.
Silver hair, bright green eyes, flashing thought his memory and being slashed apart as he brought down a warped weapon, one that didn't even resemble any form of the Keyblade. It simply looked like a strip of pure darkness, welding together in different shapes with every attack, eating up whatever light that remained in Sora's heart.
Eating away, clawing it's way, to a secret place that only he knew of. A place where he could only visit in his dreams when he found the time to sleep, a time when violet eyes shown deeply into his, a small, warm hand encircling his gently, soothing his bad dreams away with just the sound of her voice.
And the darkness was beginning to ravage it.
Four burning flames.
"Our eyes met for the last time. I remember it. Seeing you disappear, and feeling a part of my heart leaving to follow after you, hoping that it would one day reunite us. And I could feel a part of your heart follow me, too." A small giggle, purple eyes flashing at the memory. "Can you believe... it's one of the happiest memories I have left of you Sora? The only one... that I can remember?"
Shades of the purest black continued to seep up from crumbling walls, crawling over fallen pillars to stalk up to him from every which way, fangs bared, claws raised.
But Sora wouldn't be fooled. Those menacing faces may have brought down whatever he held onto dearly, but not him. He was smarter. Faster. Fearless. Forever hardened by so many waves of the purest agony that their simple attacks did nothing to deter him.
His hand gripping even more tightly, he charged forward once more, with the scent of a sea breeze and the warmth of a bright sun, a happy smile, giving him the courage to go just a little farther, only a bit farther.
Farther, farther, until his body finally gave out. Until his candle finally stopped burning.
The chair beneath her groaned softly as she shifted her weight, curling one leg up so as to rest her chin upon her knee, old pajama bottoms feeling soft against her skin. The candle holder was beginning to grow hot, but she tilted it downwards nonetheless to ignite a fifth flame.
"Five points on a star," she whispered softly. "Five points on a paopu fruit. Do you know how much I wish I could have shared one with you? Maybe that... would have made things turn out easier. But nothing's ever simple when it comes to us, is it?"
"When it came to us."
Cold tears ravaged his skin, fresh froths of dark amber flowing forth and dripping deep into the puddles of water beneath him. Black magic seeped into and from his skin as he gathered it, lingering traces of light used as bait to summon forth a power he never thought he'd have to rely on.
All to chase after a dying dream that he no longer believed in anymore, all rays of hope swindling down and shining with what little warmth they could bear onto the tattered edges of his soul, working endlessly to fix damage that was now impossible to repair.
He was a soldier without a cause, fighting for friends who may as well have died in his hands as their lives slowly diminished. He could remember the cold tears dribbling down his cheeks as he clutched to their dead forms, staying their for endless hours until more enemies spread around him, forcing him back into the shadows.
"I remember when I was six years old."
The sixth candle lit just as lighting flashed across the sky, highlighting the room with its color until it faded away into Kairi's soft-spoken voice.
"I was six when I washed up on this island. It was you that found me... it was only you that stopped asking me questions that I couldn't answer when I asked you to. You just stayed with me, my first friend, my secret hero.
"And you're still my hero."
He strode off down a wide path devoid of any dark corners where dots of beady yellow eyes glared at him, fugitively trying to rid themselves of their dark veils to continue their onslaught on the man, and sink teeth and claws into a warm heart that was slowly starting to grow cold, hard, tough to break.
But the heavier the heart, the easier it fell.
Keyblade still held firmly in one hand, he used the other to slowly drag a path through his hair. Sapphire eyes glared hard at the dark sky that continued to seep black blood form it, a bitter taste dragging itself across his tongue, even though Sora knew it was only rain.
Perhaps the sky was simply crying. Crying for him. Crying for a world that would never wake up from its nightmare.
The candles were slowly shrinking in size, curling over into the pasty frosting, flames dancing their way to keep from touching the cake. The seventh one was slowly pushed in, a flame touching the tip of its wick to bring it fiery life.
"Out of all the seven Princess of Heart... why was I the only one who couldn't have a happy ending? Some nights, I stay awake, just to read my old fairy tale books that would put me to sleep. I'd have such happy dreams... you were in them, Sora. And just as you were always in them, they always came to a happy ending."
Slow tears were making their way down soft cheeks, dipping below the curve of her chin.
"But I've stopped believing in fairy tales now. I stopped thinking you'd carry me off into the sunset and to a place where all of our wishes came true. Does that make me a cynic? Or does it prove that I've finally opened my eyes? To realize that all of our childhood, all of those years we spent wishing on stars and flipping pennies into wells, was just a fairy tale that finally ended when you went away.
"I want to rewrite the ending. And let my words soothe over the jarred edges and patch up the memories of the good days, both yours and mine."
But deep down... she didn't believe in happily-ever-after's anymore.
His breathing was beginning to grow ragged, and dark rain wasn't the only thing crawling down his skin. The clouds had shifted, its dark turmoil of shadow revolving around Sora until he had no choice but to walk through, and an instant shower of cold claws and high screeches surrounded him, accompanied by harsh blows and slices.
Sora dealt with what came to him. Because he was still winning this little game.
It was time for this soldier to go back home. And he had yet but on thing to lose before he could finally make the journey.
And with a deep, drawn out breath, Sora lunged forward, the Keyblade's dark twin grasped within his fists and slicing through shadow that simply split and went around, diving through his skin like millions of frozen needles.
And gently, Sora smiled. Because he was winning. Because those purple eyes were getting closer and closer to his own, and that warm touch of hands was starting to feel real.
But all he held was shadows, warped and twisted black, teasing him, taunting him, luring him closer and closer into the abyss.
But Sora didn't care. He just didn't care anymore. Because his love was calling for him... and he'd made a promise.
He was going home.
"Eight happy years. Not even eight."
The light flickered, caught, spread, sizzled.
Drawing, drawing, puddles of was slipping downwards and create puddles on the creamy blue flower buds, a tantalizingly sweet sugar burning and blackening as the flowers began to wilt and char.
"Eight years just wasn't enough for us, Sora. But we could be together for a hundred and it still wouldn't be enough."
Rain shattered through silence, lashing against window panes and shaking the island on its axis. The wind screamed and howled, pounding on the front doors, bidding her to come outside and let its bitter-sweet embrace take away all of her problems as swiftly at it did shed rain.
But Kairi stayed, curled up on the wooden chair, celebrating a birthday that would never be truly appreciated.
Staring at the adjacent chair, opposite to hers, a chair with two limp balloons tied down with curling blue ribbons, a chair that would never be filled.
A slurring haze of shattered memories, blurred dreams, smeared across his conscience, mingling with the sweat and blood on his brow, leaking into his mouth as sweet words rolled off of his tongue, cryptic lines he used to soothe himself, encouraging him to move harder, towards a light that only he could see.
And he was getting closer with each breath that he took.
Kingdom Hearts had been worth all the wait, worth the sacrifice his friends unwillingly gave, if he could just go home.
Home to the only person he had left. The only person he still loved, the one who was keeping safe a piece of his heart, as he did hers.
His soul was leaking, now, bearing his heart for all eager eyes to see, and the precious jewel of a treasure was no longer safe with him.
It was time to return that heart to its proper owner.
And if all went right... his heart as well.
Candles nine and ten.
A happy, bouncing boy, twirling amidst blurred images and singing to a song that no one else could hear. Blue eyes shining so brightly against grim backgrounds, laughter booming over the static and hiss of everything else.
And he was holding his hand out to her, all boyishness fading into hard curves, broadening shoulders, scandals fading way to sneakers and clothes darkening to black. Blue eyes became more narrow, less bright, but still filled with light.
She reached out her hand, grasping at the manage, but her fingers fell upon air, his outstretched hand curling shut around her solid one and leaking through, until it fell back into a shapeless heap.
And Sora was gone, his light flickering one, twice, before shattering into bleak darkness.
She clenched her hand to herself unconsciously, reaching out a hand to light the eleventh candle.
"Where are you now, Sora?"
The twelfth light gave her no response, simply blinking up at her and dancing as her breath whipped around its fragile form, twirling around a white-hot wick before calming itself, covering over the pale face of a birthday cake.
His body sagged, slumped, sliding down glossy black walls of a tall building that looked as if it hadn't been inhabited for years. A year of exhaustion, endless fighting, was reaping its reward, a permanent haze settling over his vision and making his eyes burn.
Or were those the tears sliding down his cheeks? Tipped with fire, thorns of an unfinished love blossoming in his heart and gripping tightly as rose buds of dark red blossomed through his clothes, dripping their crimson polled down his pale skin.
Silently, he closed his eyes against the pain.
Sixteen ways to make a tear. And it was slowly piling up, dragging his down, further, further, until even the memory of a whisper of a kiss did nothing to heal the pain. And all he wished for was that numbness he'd grown so accustomed to.
Where was it going? Bring it back!
"Bring her back!"
Bring back who?
"The only one... I have left... Kairi..."
Sixteen ways to make a tear. Sixteen ways to rekindle the flames of courage and love in his heart.
And sixteen ways to smother it, to snuff out a flame that would never burn again.
Thirteenth.
"A year before it happened."
A small smile.
"You were so happy to finally be a teenager. So eager to grow up. Why couldn't you---"
Thunder cracked, and it almost smothered the choking noise erupting from her throat. She shut her eyes, and almost singed her hair as she bent her head against a fierce wave of anguish that threatened to overflow, and started to leak from here eyes as pearly streams slowly trailed down her cheeks.
"Why couldn't you have just been happy as a kid? When nothing bad ever happened... Did you do it just to impress me? Sora... I was so happy. SO happy then. And even happier to know we were growing up.
"It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. And I'd give anything to fix it. To just hold you in my arms... one last time. To say good-bye for real. Because you broke your promise Sora. And you're never coming back."
Cold. Bitter. Freezing.
He'd ignored it for a year. Why wasn't it to simple to do as it was then? He didn't want to have to learn all over again how to close off his mind, to just settle in his dreams and let his body take him wherever it pleased.
He wanted to go back to his memories. To that warmth, that smile. To spread out on warm sandy beaches just one more time. To swing a wooden sword instead of a blade of darkness to deliver a playful swat on the shoulder of his dead rival, instead of slicing carnivorously through black nightmares come to life.
The rain had formed a sea beneath is body, and he could almost feel himself sinking into it. He did feel himself sink into it. Sliding down the wall, slumping over and plopping onto the dark cobblestone, letting rain punch his face and leave behind wounds more painful then any other he'd experienced over the past two years.
"We were both fourteen when it happened. When I didn't realize just how badly I'd miss being around you, to just breathe in the same air, and a simple connection between our eyes. A simple clasp of the hands. A quick hug before going home, the sun setting behind us."
Lights hovered form different heights, the lowest slacking down to one inch from the cake, all glowing orange eyes fixated upon hers and peering upon their tiny reflections in violet eyes, a face so close, just to soak up what little warmth it could bear in the freezing house.
"Fourteen when we realized that it was more then a simple crush. Something I didn't realize until I was left alone in our Secret Place, after hearing your promise. When I still believed it. When I swore I'd wait for you, hoping you'd be back in a matter of weeks so that you could sweep me off my feet.
"And we'd be together. Such a silly dream."
His eyes were unfocused, and he didn't even register the set of yellow eyes casting into his, movements as swift as a fox's as it crept towards him silently.
Sora just lie still, letting his weapon seep into the floor, not bothering to check for the warmth it should have given up from being absorbed back into his body. Because it didn't radiate a warm aura anymore. Just a hollow echo, a cheap imitation lf light, a mirage of hope that he'd ceased searching for, preferring to stick to the hear and now.
The shadow was upon him now, staring down, sniffling at the potential meal before it. It's hand rose up, long, scaly, sharp pointing claws stretching to their fullest length before curving downwards in an arc, giving a diagonal slash that cut through air before meeting with flesh.
Fifteen ways to make a tear.
"I celebrated your fifteenth birthday alone, Sora. I had a weird fantasy of you running through the doors, arms wide open, trying to surprise me. You'd be back on your birthday."
Sixteen ways to break a heart.
"But I'm not like that this year. It's different now... you're not here. And you never will be. Because that piece of your heart that's still inside of me...it's growing cold. And it's been getting colder for over a year."
Sixteen ways to light a candle.
"I stay awake all night sometimes, hoping that my heart will stop growing so cold. But it won't. It's like a virus spreading through my veins and sometimes, I feel just as cold and numb as you probably are every second of every day."
Sixteen ways to bank it out.
Sora could feel claws ripping and tearing into his flesh. Warm gushes of blood flowed from his, seeming to freeze instantly upon contact with his skin and turning the puddles beneath him a dark crimson, mingling with salty tears.
And then the claws were gone. His heart beat was pulsating in his chest, but dying, withering, leaking, the gaping mouth on his chest whispering its last words that flowed red and warm, ghosting over pricked flesh.
"You're sixteen this year, Sora. Congratulations."
She blew out the tall candle, which had started to leak venomous green wax all over the candle holder and burning her hand, which she paid no heed. The sixteenth candle was lit, the last to burn, yet seeming the smallest of the lot.
"And you're still not home. And my heart is still cold."
Sixteen ways to lose a memory of you.
Sora blinked wearily, last breaths choked out of him with small streams of blood, his pure light diminishing and leaking through his eyes, the brightest thing on the world traveling down his cheeks. Offering him stolen comforts. Comfort he didn't need.
Because Sora had won. He was going home.
And his heart beat, just one last time.
Sixteen ways to stop a heart from beating.
And he slowly smiled.
"Happy Birthday, Sora."
She drew in a deep breath.
He let out a deep breath with a smile, and a suffocating warmth ensnared his broken body, stealing away the cold heart that even a heartless could not feed upon.
Taking back a borrowed heart, along with its partner, letting them seep into the light.
Kairi smiled gently as a flicker, the tiniest light, emerged in front of her eyes.
He was standing there, smiling at her, eyes so close to hers. She could smell his sweet breath as it washed over her cheeks.
She blew out, and candles, one by one, started to flicker and die.
Warm lips brushed her own, strong arms squeezing her to a hard chest that wasn't there.
Sixteen ways to show how much I love you.
And his image shattered, flickered before her eyes, before diminishing into a cloud of white dust that wrapped around her, targeting her chest, seeping in.
Her breath dwindled, teetering on the edge of fulfillment.
And a warmth... so warm... slowly fought away the coldness in her heart.
And as he shut her eyes, Kairi could still see him. Sora was smiling at her. Holding out his hand. Waiting for her to take it.
And she blew out the candles.