Moonlit Dream
She had often spent many nights out here when it was like this. The moon washed over her pale face as the crickets chirped their summer song. It was so peaceful, and she wanted this to go on forever, so that she could forget the harsh reality of everything.
Morning would come soon. The evidence was in the cold, sticky dew that clung to her nightgown and feet. The air was slightly chilled, and a breeze brushed by her and caressed her cheek. It caused her to shiver a little, although she was not so sure why. Quietly, she sat on the step of the back porch and spread her legs out over the grass, swishing them to and fro lightly. She gave a sigh; soon her husband would be awake, and the day would begin anew, the pains that lay in her heart coming once again to the surface to tear at her soul.
Izumi Curtis blamed herself for nearly everything bad that happened to the people she cared for. The death of her baby, the loss of her lower organs, her inability to have children ever again; they were all her fault. Her husband, Shigu, never acknowledged her constant apologies with anything more than a nod. She knew he didn't blame her, but she was also aware that he was hurting, too.
"I do," she said, the bright pink lipstick glowing on her delicate lips as the sun shone through the cathedral windows.
And, before she knew what was happening, the strong-but-gentle Shigu had her in his arms and guided her face upwards in a kiss so very passionate, the angels had never seen anything of the sort. She threw her arms around him and returned the kiss, tears coming briefly to her eyes.
After the reception, he had carried her home, which was off of his business; a butcher shop. She didn't mind his line of work at all, even though she really did love animals. She loved her Shigu more, and her compassion for him drowned out the regret she had of knowing her husband was a butcher.
As he carried her through the threshold of the house, she was laughing, a sound as sweet as a songbird's call, and a smile was upon her face that Heaven would have envied. She became settled quickly, and life seemed so perfect. She had everything she could ever want, and that everything, her entire world, was her Shigu.
The months went by and she found herself pregnant with their first child. The couple was ecstatic to learn the news, and began to plan immediately for the new addition to their family. They bought clothes and supplies with money they saved from week to week, and set aside a room that would become the nursery.
Her happiness faded away on the day when she lost her baby. There had been minor complications throughout the pregnancy, but nothing she nor Shigu thought to be too serious. Things were worse than she thought; her baby had been stillborn. She became destitute for many days, but then, she had a plan. She was a skilled alchemist. She could bring her baby to life!
She ignored every warning sign, including the harsh words from her teacher against such an action. But she knew nothing else she could do. She and Shigu had been so happy, and now, they lived in sorrow. She had been so excited, and she knew he had been too, and when he found out that the baby had died before he had even obtained life, the life in his eyes had faded away.
She felt like it was her fault. Yes, she had killed the baby! And so, to make up for it, she attempted Human Transmutation, the taboo, the forbidden art. She thought there wasn't much more she could lose, especially if she did it on her own. But she was wrong; the transmutation took away her organs in exchange for the baby's life, but it was not her baby, it wasn't even human. And so she sent it to the Gate, the very thing that had taken her organs and her health away.
Soon after, the light in Izumi's eyes died away, became secluded in a place Shigu could not reach, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted so desperately to share her pain, make it known that she was not alone, but she would not allow it. She didn't want him to suffer for her mistakes. For this, and everything else, she apologized to him.
Sometimes, she wished that she could have a child, and make her husband happy. She didn't know if he was disappointed in her for the incident and the loss of their child; he never voiced so, nor did he ever say that he wasn't. He avoided the subject as best he could. But, even if she wished for a child now, she knew it would never come true. It was, after all, just a dream.