Authors Note: GOMEN NASAII! I'M SO SORRY! AHEM. Okay, I'm good now. As I said I'm really sorry about my computer being busted. I'm in the school library as I speak, er...type. Please enjoy this chapter, it tookme a while to get to you. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi or its characters, they belong to Yuu Watase. I don't own Mischa (Paris-Rose) or Rei (Lupine Eyes) I own Kumiko, her family, etc. Get it got it good.
Oh yea, and the 'dream' sequence is in italics. : P
Chapter 17: Finding Reality
The more time Kumiko spent in her world, the more she was beginning to feel as if she was forgetting something. Nothing appeared to be wrong, but there was some internal struggle that pushed at her mind constantly. It made her feel (and look) quite uneasy.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Tasuki asked as he drove. "Because if not, I can come over another day."
Kumiko shook her head. "I'm fine, really. Everything's fine." She smiled and he kept on driving.
When they got to her house, Kumiko knew something was wrong.
"Woa, no way! My dad's car is in the driveway!" She exclaimed.
"Yea, what's wrong with that?" Tasuki asked.
"Well my mom sold it after-" She stopped. "Never mind. Forget about it. I guess she didn't sell it."
The two of them got out of the car uneasily, Kumiko at least. They walked up her driveway and were met by the door.
"Kumiko, we're glad your home!" Her mother said with a smile. Her father stood behind her, smiling as well. Kumiko stared at them in shock, afraid that moving would make her break into a thousand pieces. She wanted to cry, desperately.
"I'm glad to be back," she whispered. The uneasy feeling inside of her had surfaced briefly but subsided quickly. "Mom…Dad, I want you to meet Tasuki," she said, taking his hand and bringing him closer to the front door.
She still felt as if she was forgetting something, although it seemed less and less important as the minutes passed. Somehow, she knew her father shouldn't be there. But…why?
"It's very nice to meet you Tasuki," Kumiko's father was saying as she zoned back into the conversation. Her parents led them both inside and gave them a snack.
"You must both be hungry, after wandering around Tokyo all day," her mother said with a laugh. "Don't worry, I'll make a nice dinner for tonight. That was the plan, wasn't it Kumiko?"
"Yea," Kumiko said automatically. They smiled at her. "Wonderful. We'll have a nice sit down dinner. Now, Tasuki tell us more about yourself. Although Kumiko does talk an awful lot about you already-"
"Mom," Kumiko hissed warningly.
"I was just kidding," her mother said, ignoring her. "Anyway, please, do tell us more."
For the first time in a while (so it seemed) Kumiko was content and truly happy. Nothing could be better than spending time with her parents and beloved boyfriend, whom her parents adored as well. Her mother talked non stop, asking questions and telling embarrassing stories about Kumiko's childhood. Her father, on the other hand told jokes, some of which weren't funny at all. But Tasuki only laughed and responded with both.
Kumiko went to bed feeling as if she was already dreaming. She slept soundly, but her dreams were unsettling.
She was walking along a wooded path, following a strange voice. Voices, she decided, after hearing more than one call at her. She frowned as she walked. She had no idea what she was looking for, or why.
As she continued, the path got more wooded and tangled. Plants began to grow on the trail, and she had to struggle past them. Soon there was hardly a path to follow-only the plant life around her. She went to look back at the path she had taken to this point, only to see that it had disappeared completely. She was lost.
Her heart started to pound heavily and she whimpered to herself. What was she going to do?
The voices continued to call, more eagerly now. They whispered through her ears and called her name relentlessly. Whoever it was, they needed help.
She struggled forward through the plants, breaking her way through to get to whoever called her. With each step she became more determined to find and help who needed it. She shoved herself forward with utmost resolve and found herself in a clearing. It was a beautiful starlit night and the clearing was full of fountains. Their sparkling waters trickled out into a single pool.
She bent down on her knees and looked at her reflection in the sparkling water. She was surprised to see a beautiful girl, adorned with colorful ribbons and hair adornments. The water's gleaming swells entranced her. She scooped up some of the water and just as she was about to drink, she heard a voice stop her.
"Shi Jin no Miko"
She lifted her head up, puzzled. Why had she answered to such a name?
A translucent figure flickered above her. She was old and somewhat small, but she was overflowing with a wisdom Kumiko couldn't describe. She looked very familiar to Kumiko, although she couldn't say from where.
"Do not drink. It is not time. First you must awake from dream and set what is right. Let go of your imprudent illusions- find what is reality."
Before Kumiko could ask the figure anything, she disappeared in a wisp of smoke. The fountains around her began to flow with more water by the moment. But it wasn't water that seeped out.
It was hundreds translucent figures, all of which had horrific faces. They cried her name and called her priestess. They tore at her pajamas and screamed earsplitting, mournful melodies of discord. It struck Kumiko that these were the voices that were calling for her. They wanted, needed her help. Kumiko shrunk back and felt as if she was being pulled backwards. With one last ear splitting scream she awoke.
She gasped as she sat up in bed. Cold sweat dripped down her forehead. Her cheeks were wet, with tears and sweat together. Her parents came rushing in with alarm.
"Kumiko, what's wrong!" Her mother cried frantically, flinging herself at her daughter's beside. She put her hand on Kumiko's cheek and wiped the wetness away.
"We heard you scream," Her father said worriedly, "were you having a nightmare."
Kumiko nodded. "Yea, I'm sorry. I never meant to…I'm very sorry."
"Don't apologize," her father told her gently, sitting on her bed and hugging her tightly. "We all have nightmares. Now, tell me, what was it about?"
"I don't remember," Kumiko lied. The fact was, she didn't want to talk about it. At all. Something about it scared her, and made her feel very uneasy in telling anyone about it.
"Try to sleep well dear," her mother said, kissing her forehead. "if you need to fall asleep in the living room watching TV, feel free." They left.
But Kumiko didn't. She fell into a dreamless sleep briefly after they closed the door.
"I'm telling you, it was weird," Kumiko said to Rei over the phone. Rei laughed.
"Kumiko, you're being a bit superstitious, don't you think?"
"Yea, and this is coming from you who lives in a temple with a crazy aunt. Hell, she's the most superstitious person I know," Kumiko said joking cynically.
"Hey, Aunt Kari isn't that bad you know. So what if she's a tad bit…over obsessive with things at times. It can be necessary," Rei replied, defending her oddball of an aunt.
"I suppose you're right," Kumiko said with a laugh.
"So are you gonna tell me what it was about?" Rei asked.
"Nah. It really wasn't that bad of a dream now that I think about it. It was more embarrassing than ever, waking up screaming," Kumiko said.
"Hey, at least it was only you and your parents home," Rei commented in reply, "I've done it when I stayed at relatives house. I woke everybody in the house up because I dreamed it was the end of the world." Both girls laughed.
"I must admit, that would be bad," Kumiko said, trying to control her laughter. After talking to Rei, her dream didn't seem all that bad anymore."
"So," Rei said, her tone changing, "are you going to meet up with Tasuki today?"
"Yea," Kumiko said, quite excitedly, "we're going to meet Miaka, Tamahome, Keisuke, Tetsuya and Yui at the mall to hang out."
"Well have fun," Rei said with a sigh, "It'd be nice to be in Tokyo once in awhile rather than stuck an hour and a half away in Kyoto."
"Wish you were here," Kumiko said sadly. "But I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Alright, have fun. Bye!"
"Bye!"
The group of friends walked around the mall happily, talking and gossiping as friends do.
"I had the weirdest dream last night," Miaka said, "I dreamed that the entire school was made of candy and I got to eat it all. When I woke up, I was chewing on my pillow!"
"It doesn't surprise me," Yui said, rolling her eyes.
"I actually had a weird dream last night too," Kumiko said with a laugh, "apparently I woke up screaming?"
"Really?" Tasuki asked, "what in hell did you dream about?"
"I don't really want to tell you," Kumiko objected, "you'll think it's stupid. Besides I don't really remember all of it."
"Oh come on," Keisuke said, "what's so bad about it?"
"Yea," Tetsuya pressed, "come on!"
"No really guys, it's not all that great. I don't think you'll care," Kumiko said, again trying to object. She wished she had never brought it up.
"Please?" Miaka asked, her eyes growing wide.
"Kumiko," Tasuki said, grabbing her hand tightly, "it's alright. Tell us."
Kumiko took a deep breath and began to tell her dream. She watched as their faces changed and hardened as she told them. By the end they all looked stiff and uneasy. She looked back at them uneasily – it wasn't like her friends to completely stiffen up like that.
"Don't read into it," Tamahome said slowly.
"Yea, I agree. It doesn't mean anything," Yui said, just as slowly.
Tasuki did not look at her.
"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. She had never intended to make anyone upset.
"Nothing, just…don't go around telling people, okay? It might get you into trouble," he said softly.
"Alright, I promise I won't," she said, confusedly.
"Miaka! Kumiko!" A voice cried out. Mischa came running up to them and practically tackled her cousin.
"Hey Mischa! What are you doing here?" Kumiko asked, immediately forgetting about what had just happened.
"I work at an artisan shop here in the mall. Some of my artwork is displaid here," she explained excitedly. "Come and look!" she pulled them along to one of the shops, where many paintings, sculptures and other art forms were on display.
"Check out some of my paintings here!" She said, pointing them out. "I've already sold a few prints! With luck, I can start making real money."
Kumiko let her eyes wander quickly and began to look at more than just the paintings Mischa had done. She enjoyed looking at the many different art forms they had. One thing that caught her eye was a mirror hanging on the wall. She felt like she had seen it before. She wondered if she had stumbled across one like it in a home furnishing store.
No, that wasn't it.
This mirror was special, somehow.
She walked closer to it, and her preoccupation with it seemed to attract the attention of the others. What she saw when she looked into it nearly made her scream. When she looked from far away it had appeared to be only a mirror, but up close it seemed hardly so.
She did in fact see herself, but in a very different setting.
As she saw a vision of her in the deep forest, holding a broken mirror, everything came back to her.
The gods. Her mission.
Her title.
Shi Jin no Miko.
That's where it had come from. The pieces all fit together simultaneously.
None of this was real.
"Find what is reality."
"You're not real." She said in a shaky voice. Not one of her friends replied. They only stiffened in silence, like they had before.
"Did you hear me? I said you're not real! I know it! This is all some trick! A seiryuu ploy! I'm supposed to be searching for the Kyoto Temple, to save this world! This is all a lie!" She was beginning to yell. But no one moved.
She felt sick. What hurt most is that she had believed it. She had foolishly let herself believe that her father was still alive and that everything could go back to the way it was before she had ever found the Shi Jin Ten Shi Sho.
It was impossible.
She walked up to Tasuki, tears in her eyes. "You're not real," she whispered. "The real Tasuki is waiting for me, out there-"
She didn't get to finish. He grabbed her wrist tightly, so much that she whimpered in pain.
"I told you not to say anything," he said, almost sadly. "You didn't listen!"
"You fool," said another voice, Mischa's. "You could have lived like this forever, in bliss! But you chose to go back to the world of pain!" She pushed Kumiko to the ground.
"It's ignorant bliss! I would rather have the truth!" She yelled. They surrounded her. More followed, people coming out of nowhere. Suddenly she was in darkness, surrounded by the people she loved most, all making her feel worthless.
Her father was the first to speak. "Don't you see now, why I left you? I couldn't stand to be near you or your mother any longer! There is no love left for you, ever again! I'm glad to get rid of you. Your behavior always made me sick and ashamed. I hated having you for a daughter. And now, you're alone and I couldn't be happier."
The words cut at her heart mercilessly. How could he say such cruel things?
"That's not true," Kumiko denied, "you're not my father! You're a fake!"
"You're worthless," her mother spat. "I never liked you either. I only stayed with you after your father's death because I pitied you. I only wanted to make you as miserable as possible, so you could feel my pain. It's your fault he left! Your fault!" She shrieked.
Kumiko covered her ears. It was all lies, she told herself, it's an illusion.
" It's all a lie, you know," Tasuki said softly. "You and I. After all, I'm only in a book, right? And whoever enters that book plays the part. If it wasn't you, it would be some other girl that I would be destined to meet. The Shi Jin no Miko is a character, not a person. I'm sorry to be stuck with you. I was right to have distrusted and hated you in the beginning. Just because I had to act as you faithful guide and servant doesn't mean I really love you. Far from it. You disgust me. If not for you, I would be able to concentrate on my duty to the Priestess of Suzaku."
"Some friend you are! You tore Yui and me apart! If you had come back from school earlier, we would have never found the book in the first place! And it was you who ripped us apart further! You try to make yourself look like such a Martyr, fighting for a cause. That's bullshit. You don't do any work. You haven't suffered what Yui and I have had to suffer! You're a selfish bitch and I hate you!" Miaka yelled at her.
Kumiko cowered on the floor as the abuse rolled on and on. Yet something told her to hold on and not give in. She wasn't done with her mission yet.
'The mirror,' she thought, I need the mirror'. She closed her eyes as Mischa spat cruel insults at her.
Suddenly she could feel the mirrors within her hands. She looked at it gratefully and smashed it with her hands.
Screams erupted from the group of people that had surrounded her. They wailed in pain as they turned into translucent figures themselves, disappearing in a wisp of smoke.
Blood trickled from Kumiko's hand as she felt herself fall out of this horror world she had created and back into the world of the book.
Lola: This chapter took a lot of angst, well, not really. I just thought of the most horrible things my family could say to me. Don't worry, things will get better for Kumiko. We're coming up on the end of this fic (just a few more chapters...:'(
Don't worry, there's two more sequels after this...