I OWN NOTHING…I guess I have to say that don't I?

Author's Note 2021:

I first began writing this story in 2003 and posting at TF.N 2004. I was fortunate to have the support of JaynaSoloFel, my wonderful first Beta. She hung with me through upwards of 30 posts, over 150,000 words, two cross country moves, and my marriage imploding.

I finally gave up posting in 2007, frustrated by the revamping of the boards, writer's block, and lacking time due to having to start a new career and take care of two kids. Regardless of all the turmoil though, and time, the story never left my mind.

I began writing again a few years ago, bringing my word count up to about 200,000, but that was more to entertain myself because there simply isn't enough Tahiri 'fic out there. Then, out of the blue - days before New Year's, an old friend I'd first on TF.N, and who beta'd my other story, Fragile for me back in 2009, contacted me.

Beta Boy and I hadn't spoken in a couple of years, and had a blast catching up, and discussing story and our favorite characters. Then we started discussing Fear and Love and he asked to read what I had so far, since we really couldn't access it at TF.N.

Beta Boy's praise and encouragement got me writing again, and really excited at the prospect of finally finishing. So here we are, on the verge of me beginning to start posting F&L.

As of right now I've got enough material to post twice a week between the beginning of May and the end of September - upwards of 230,000 words over 45 chapters - but I've still got a huge chunk towards the end of the story that I want at least roughed out before I begin posting. Also, part of what Beta Boy and I have been doing is a complete edit of the existing chapters to fix sentence structure, chapter naming… little inconsistencies, which may not seem like a big deal - but and we've both got day jobs.

I'm very excited to get going, and since people who are reading Fragile have expressed an interest in Fear and Love I decided I'd update the 'Author's Note' with this announcement, that way anyone wanting to be notified when posting begins will be.

Thanks for all the love and support, I hope to see you soon.

PP

Author's Note 2004:

I have two main reasons for writing this story. First, I feel that one of the biggest crimes in SW profic is the lack of emotional development, or experience in my favorite characters. It's as though profic writers are given a character summary form the YJK and JJK years and the only thing adjusted in later stories is the character's ages. Please… how many of us still exhibit the same quirks in our 20-'s that we had in our teen and pre-teen years? I could probably rant on this topic all day, and no one who knows me would be surprised, but the bottom line is I'm disgusted by the continued portrayal of Tahiri Veila as either a petulant pre-teen insistent on shunning shoes or as a lobotomized Ta-riina drone of a character. There are no adjectives in the English language that correctly express how stupid I thought that whole plot line was. (Hey… my opinion… it may differ from yours… but there we go.)

Tenel Ka is another character that in most books is so devoid of personality I cringe when I see her name in the 'dramatis personae'. This girl has been through a lot and is the ruler of a gigantic kingdom…why is she relentlessly portrayed as the most one dimensional female in the SW Universe? Surely, having lost her arm, her mother, her unborn sibling, her innocence, her home world (well…one of them anyway) and countless friends she would have at some point gained a little introspection. Maybe stopped using the word 'Fact' in the place of complete sentences and gotten over that whole 'Arms are for wimps and I don't need one' thing. Though Jaina's line to TK in SBS, 'you have the emotional depth of a ronto' was kind of funny, it really does strike at the heart of how she is written and I find that tragic. There is so much potential for Tenel Ka to be great, a character that is actually inspirational, but evidently the folks at LFL are determined to see that she be stunted instead.

The second big reason for this plot bunny that has been a year in the bouncing and has gotten way out of control in my head, is that I have a genuine interest in the idea of what coming of age during the very brutal Yuuzhan Vong war would have done to the surviving members of the 'Strike Team' and how the psychic damage could effect them in their behavior and relationships in the subsequent years. Not during the times when they are called on to save the universe, because clearly they would do just that. But how do they deal with day-to-day stuff. What do psychologically damaged galactic heroes do during their down time?