Chapter 5: Two Sides of Reality

It was tiring after I went home from classes today. I've already embarrassed myself enough this morning after I met him again. Now...I can't get "him" out of my head!

I slapped my cheeks to snap out of the daydream I had. I already have a boyfriend and I was already thinking about other boys?! I am not such an impure kind of woman to do that! Motoyasu wouldn't like that! Although he can be sometimes rude...

One of the lucky things I have in my college life is that I am housed in the girl's dormitory of the school, which is about ten minutes or so away from college grounds.

I opened the door, which was conveniently unlocked, which means that my "roommate" is already back.

"Hey little Raphy-chan!~ welcome back~!" She gave me a big hug. It was really embarrassing and it sometimes hurts whenever she does it. One of the reasons is that she's my step-sister and she's also pretty athletic, thanks to her being the captain of the swimming club in high school.

"I-I'm home…! Sadeena-nee-san..! Please let me go already! I am not a child anymore!" I tried to squeak out of my mouth because she's really clingy like this sometimes. I know she loves me, but she sometimes doesn't realize how much she's suffocating me. Literally...

"Oh~ sorry sorry little Raphy~. How was your day~?" She asked me after she had finally let me go from her embrace.

Sadeena had been my step-sister for as long as I could remember. My father remarried with a kind-hearted woman that raised me as her own. We lived a pretty decent life of happiness, even Sadeena liked clinging onto me so much as a child…

She did say that she always wanted a sibling to love and treat as her own. Which was a rather typical kind of wish, but still a very thoughtful one. I do love Sadeena-nee-san, but she really does need to hold back on the lollipop hugging…

I may have a boyfriend after I started in College, about two years ago because he was persistent, but family will always come first. It's what Rifana's parents and my parents taught us.

"It was fine, Sadeena-nee-san. It's always pretty normal anyway. Well, not just in the morning of today…" I was still exhausted as I told her about my day, and then I realized what had slipped out of my mouth.

'Oh no!' I thought to myself as I covered my mouth in shame and embarrassment.

"What happened this morning?" She had a worried look painted on her face as she squished my cheeks in the palm of her hands.

I sighed as my cheeks were still being rubbed and squished. "Look. I'll explain it later, but for now I'm just tired."

After we had set the table to eat dinner that Sadeena-nee-san made, she sometimes liked to talk about how she couldn't find any other guy that could outdrink her as she drank a couple of beers from the mini fridge. There's a weird reason as to why she said that.

Back then, after her first experience with alcohol, Sadeena-nee-san changed for the weirder. She partied really hard whenever she had the chance. Even a few of her friends will admit that her tolerance with alcoholic drinks is insanely high, so much that her friends had to even give her a borderline on how much alcohol they should all (mostly her) be drinking.

Sadeena-nee-san was incredibly against the idea and just kept going like crazy, until one of her friends had enough and just called on her boyfriend to challenge her to a drinking contest, since she did like to brag on how high his tolerance to alcohol also was.

Except, after I went to pick her up from the family restaurant, it looked more like a bloodbath than a challenge. There were a lot of beer mugs all around the table, there was a guy passed out with his drool spreading into a small area of the table. Her friends were in the corner, cowering in fear from...Sadeena-nee-san.

To this day, she became known as "The Demon of Social Gatherings". She even swore that she would love or marry anyone that can outdrink her. Even I realized how much of a pipe dream is what she just stated…

She was fairly popular with her colleagues and acquaintances in college, but they all know her fearsome reputation when it comes to drinking. It even got to my college of choice, and I just tend to bat my eyes away whenever I hear the rumors from other people.

"Eeehh. You bumped into a guy yesterday by accident and met him again~?" She spoke in a calm voice, yet I can tell that she was teasing me when I told her the story about Naofumi.

I was totally embarrassed! I wanted to scold her, but then I realized that a few other people heard her scream, so I rushed towards her to shut her mouth.

"Sadeena-nee-san! I'm telling you that it's not like that!" I was blushing like crazy while trying to hold onto her. It was really embarrassing, plus really hard to keep her calm.

"Where is he from~? Is he handsome~? Or maybe he's~..." She kept trying to pry out the information from me, until I had enough and just gave her a scolding during dinner.

She already knows that I have a boyfriend, and I would just rather stick to one, instead of toying with someone else's feelings. But I could never understand her view on men sometimes.

When I first introduced Motoyasu, I felt something off about her. It was the very first time that I saw her...overcautious. Like she didn't trust him with every fiber of her entire being.

The only time she became like that is when I was seven. Having to lose my family is one thing, but having other kids bully me for it is another. The moment that I got pushed to the ground and called for Sadeena-nee-san, who was luckily close to the elementary school because it was already time for me to go back home, is where I finally witnessed her angry side.

I mean, even I felt bad for the kids that were being stared down in malice by her. She was incredibly scary, yet she always wore a mature and calm facade. Even when I explained to her why I went out with someone like him, she was trying to put on the facáde one more time, since I did just get roped in by him, but not for his looks, but because he wouldn't leave me alone; even if I threatened to call the police on him.

A few weeks went by and I was going about my normal routine. I didn't really have many friends in high school, nor college; although Rishia is my only friend that I ever made, I was never really an introvert. I just didn't have any trust with the people that tried to get close to me.

To them, I was just like a foreign beauty, which I'm not really bragging about, and they just wanted to show me off like a trophy or try to ruin someone like me for being something that they couldn't be. I don't even want to know how shallow the human race has become over the years, but I just wanted to live my life in peace.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting myself to get into a relationship, let alone with someone who looks and acts like a playboy, but I still didn't know why I accepted his feelings. Lately for the past few weeks, I noticed that he was making up excuses of being "busy". I guess that would be the perk of having a big sister that is overcautious when it comes to people with ugly personalities.

At first I tried to ignore it, even as we spent time together is the first time I saw him looking rather...bored. Was he just tired from his classes or was there something keeping him busy? I did my best to act like a proper girlfriend and help him vent out his problems through talking.

Until he uttered this question: "We've been together for about 3 months, so why don't you ever want to have sex with me? Is there a problem with me?"

I blushed at the thought, but it was out of anger.

"W-What the heck are you s-saying?! We're still college students, and I still want to focus on my future!" I suddenly stood up as I shouted back at his words, even though I didn't really intend to do that.

He was as surprised as I was, but I could tell from his look that he was...furious. What would he even be angry about in the first place? He was the one that dropped a bombshell of a question.

"I see. It's alright" He spoke in a soft and condescending tone.

That happened a week ago as we were going out on our date at a park, since I did say that I wanted to try out the rowing boats, but he just kept refusing since he said that he didn't know how to row.

Then after another week had passed, he just grew colder and colder from me. He would rarely respond much to my messages whenever I'm not busy, he always had this look in his face that explained the words "I want to be anywhere, but here.", and he doesn't talk so much to me anymore.

I was contemplating on whether or not I should give him a few more days before I talk to him again or if I should confront him right away. I wanted to go with the second choice, but I felt like it might've been a bad idea because it felt like I would be forceful and it would feel more like a quarrel instead of a heart-to-heart.

As I was walking down the halls, on my way home, I overheard a couple of ladies talking about someone. It only piqued my interest when I heard them talking about Motoyasu. Truth be told, he was an extremely popular man with the women. They even said that he could swoon any woman whenever they just take a glance at him, which sounds incredibly unrealistic if you ask me.

But something else caught my attention, in the worst way.

"Yesterday I saw Motoyasu with another woman, and they were going to an amusement park!" One of the women said.

The other two were surprised about it until they found out who he was with.

"He was going out with Myne, The Ice-Cold Princess!" She expressed to them out loud and they were squealing out of glee.

"But isn't he already taken by that 'prude'?" One of them asked the question.

In this school, I've got a lot of terrible rumors due to the fact that I shot down every guy that tried to confess their feelings for me, until Motoyasu managed to become my boyfriend, that's when the rumors started getting even worse.

"Who would want to date that bitch anyway? She thinks that just because she's pretty that she can go around flaunting it like it's nothing." The first woman with a hint of insult and vulgarity in her tone spoke as the other two laughed about it.

After I overheard that, I just went around town for a couple of hours to find Motoyasu and confront him about what I just found out.

"Where is he? Where is that son of a bitch?!" I exclaimed to myself as I kept running, with the sweat on my forehead running down in both exhaustion and anxiety. But as luck would have it, I finally found him as I saw him pass down an alleyway to where the love hotels are located.

Someone was locking arms with him and it made me furious, but I still wouldn't believe it. Finally, I saw it. The one moment that I would never forget and would always regret on that day.

I had witnessed him making out with a red-haired and slutty-looking woman beside a love hotel as they had already stepped inside, my mind couldn't process what had just happened…

I just...snapped.

I felt betrayed... I was disgusted at him, at the world, and...at my own self for even deciding to love someone like him…I gritted my teeth in a fit of rage, guilt, and pain...I even bit my lip until it nearly bled. My vision nearly turned grey...

All I could do was run away in silence as tears kept flowing from my eyes. I didn't know what to do anymore…

I know that he was just being persistent, I knew that already but it still broke me in half, but I didn't think he would be this much of a piece of shit that thought I was an easy woman…I've never felt more disgusted at myself for accepting the feelings of someone like him…!

"I trusted you..! You...fucking bastard..!" I wept and wept silently as I kept running. I just ran to wherever my legs would take me.

"I opened up my heart to you…! I tried to be caring and supportive for you! You're beyond garbage!" I didn't realize that I had already started screaming at the top of my lungs. A few passers-by must've heard me and seen me running in tears.

I'm not even sure what the time is at that point, but all I knew is that I calmed down soon after and realized that I was already at the town square. My mind wasn't thinking straight anymore. I felt my heart getting heavier, my knees feeling weak, and my soul being slowly torn apart.

All I wanted to do was be alone for that moment. So I did what I could think of and just slowly wandered around the town square. I couldn't look at anyone else at the moment. I felt cold and numb and even a few tears are still falling from my eyes.

Until I bumped into someone. I didn't even have the strength to care about the person who I bumped into, until I saw their face.

It was him again...Naofumi...

"W-What happened to you..?" He asked me and all I could do was give him an emotionless stare. I was just exhausted at that point. I didn't understand what was going on anymore. I was just under the feeling of having to experience the real way of "giving up".

He helped me up and helped dust me off.

"Do you want to...sit down for a bit?" He asked with a hint of hesitation in his voice. I couldn't tell if he had any kind of ulterior motive or if he was really just being a sincere person. I didn't bother trying to think about it because I was just exhausted, in pain, betrayed, and still feeling my heart break apart even more as I try to recall the scene that I had witnessed.

My reply was just a simple and weak nod, then we proceeded to sit onto a nearby park bench.

Notes: I was hesitant to do this because if I did, then blood would spill. Even I wanted to kill her "boyfriend" (-_-'). Lucky for them, this is gonna be their start ヽ(●´ε)ノ . Thanks for reading.