Kazer Dragon: Hee hee. Banana phone!

Things you don't expect to see on Inuyasha.

Miroku's pick up lines.

Miroku's walking around a village. A couple of teenaged boys come up to him.

"Hi there monk could we ask you a favour?" Asks one of the boys.

"Sure what is?" Miroku answers.

"Well we saw you hitting on a girl in the village and you got some mmfff…" Miroku covers the boy's mouth.

"Hahaha now now don't say things. Like that. Loud." Miroku lets him go.

"Well we need some help with our pickup lines." They all nod.

"Alright follow me." Miroku leads them to a place far away from everyone. "Ok tell me your best pick up lines."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" one of the boys says.

"That's way over used. Any others?" Miroku points to them.

"I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little." "I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight." "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name." "Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me! I thought you knew..." "Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!" "Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY?" "Hey baby, let's go make some babies." "I wanna put my thingy into your thingy." "Wanna fuck like bunnies?" The boys say one after another.

"Alright that's enough though I like the Hey baby, let's go make some babies line." Miroku thinks. "Ok now those were pretty straight to the point lines. That means unless the girl really wants to, your not going to get any. First lets learn some lines to break the ice. Are you guys listing?"

"YES SIR!" They say.

"Alright here's a nice one: Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it? Or, Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile. And a common one I like hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away! I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven. Is popular. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me? Lets see What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room? What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off! But that's cheesy. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once! Is a good one. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me. Is one I use. If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world. Hee hee Sango fell for that one. I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day. Got me laid once. Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature. I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye". I don't know you, but I think I love you already. All good ones. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30. Kinda weird one though. When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. Is sweet. You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance. I bet you get the point."

"Wow those are good. Well some of them." One of the boys says.

"Now if those don't work you could try an innuendo. You hint it but not as directly." Miroku thinks again.

"Could you give us an example?" Asks a boy.

"Alright this one is a bad one but Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts? Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated. Is too. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room? Help the homeless. Take me home with you. Those aren't good examples are they?" The boys nod yes. "Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body? I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one. Is better. Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in? Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum." Is dirty. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance? Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square? Alright I got one that's good Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to. Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you? U+I69"

"Those won't work." A boy says.

"Well you could try being cute with cheesy lines." Miroku continues. "Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! Is cute sorta. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven? Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. See be real cute when you say these things. I have only three months to live...you need a lot of luck when using that one." The boys are pointing behind him. "Oh come on I'm getting to the good cheesy ones I'll tell you some I say to my girl Sango. So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams! You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth. But that one didn't work to good yay for pity." They point even more whispering things. "Oh come on their not that bad, It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? Women: Is it really your birthday? No, but how about a kiss anyway? Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, cuz your the bomb! Baby, I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me. That got me some from Sango. Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too? And my fav… OWWWWW" Sango is standing behind him and punched him really hard.

"Boys if you want a girl just be nice to her. IF I HEAR ANY OF THOSE LINES COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH I WILL CUT OFF YOUR TONGUE UNDERSTAND!" The boys shoot up straight and nod and run away. Sango pulls Miroku. "I can't believe your making little prevs. Here's a new one for you. How about you and I go out back so I can crack your skull."

"I knew that was a bad idea…." Miroku cries.

Kazer Dragon: Well now. That's a lot of pickup lines.