Kazer Dragon: I think I need a warning on this stuff.
Warning: May be crazy… don't read unless your ready to laugh or possibly insane.
Inuyasha's Christmas Wish.
"Inuyasha." Kagome asks.
"What is it?" Inuyasha answers.
"What do you want for Christmas?" Kagome asks.
"What the fuck is Christmas." Inuyasha says.
"Its where you get stuff for free. Now what would you like…" Kagome makes a cute face.
"Hmmmm…" Inuyasha thinks.
A little devil and angle appear on his shoulder.
Well well how about we ask to be evil… then we could get some fun. Says the devil.
Inuyasha tsk tsk I mean what if she brings you to a place that makes things like doomsday machines. Evil Inuyasha evil! Says the angle.
…Although he doesn't have to be evil forever... just for one day. Says Inuyasha common sense.
Inuyasha's common sense! Long time no see! Says the devil.
Back off! This is strictly a moral dilemma! Says the Angle.
Au contraire! As part of Inuyasha that never left teenager age I submit that this 'present' is an elaborate plot to embarrass me in front of Kikyo! Says Teen Inuyasha angle.
The angle is about to hit the other angles with his halo
Fuck this! I say we do it on the grounds that it involves babes! Says Inuyasha social life.
INUYASHA'S SOCIAL LIFE! They all scream.
We gave up on you for dead! The devil says.
I took a sabbatical you think I want to live in Inuyasha 24-7? Asks social life.
"See this is why I try not to think." Inuyasha whispers.
"What was that?" Kagome asks cocking her eyebrow.
"Nothing, I want to be evil for Christmas." Inuyasha says.
"Fine." Kagome walks off.
One week later in front of a big building.
"Is this nuklear labs?" Asks Inuyasha knocking on the door.
"Yes it is!" Says Meghan.
"Sorry…I just didn't expect people who want to be evil to have a 3rd floor office next door to a dentist." Inuyasha says.
"Before we take you for a tour we'd like you to answer a few questions." Meghan hands him a clipboard.
"Err why do you people want to know my blood type?" Asks Inuyasha.
"Its just a formality." Meghan replies.
"My blood pressure?"
"Formality."
"My fertility level?"
"Formality."
"The quality of my liver and pancreas?"
"…"
"I SAID the quality of my…"
"Look sometimes we need space parts!" Meghan says.
Inuyasha fills it out.
"Okay you can see the boss now." Meghan point to a door.
"Thank you." Inuyasha opens the door. KAFWOOM. Fire erupts from the door. Inuyasha is all burnt. " 'Can' and 'should' are different words aren't they?"
"Funny that's what I said at my interview." Meghan smiles.
Inuyasha looks carefully through the door. "Ummm hello."
"IT IMPLODED! The darned thing imploded and now the darn gerbils are loose! This was not in the manual! Look at this mess! Circuit boards and mutant gerbils everywhere! Of all the…" Leanne grabs a mutant gerbil it's as big as her. "Get over here! BAD gerbil! You see this? This it from you critters chewing the wires on my nice new doomsday machine! And don't think I don't see you cage A23! If I catch one more giant rodent throwing shavings at my intern-OOF!" Leanne gets pulled ahead by the gerbil. "Are you the alfalfa delivery man? Tell me you're the alfalfa delivery man." Leanne says when seeing Inuyasha.
"Actually my friend sent me here cause I wanted to be evil…" Inuyasha starts.
"OH Hi! I'll be your tour guide to the wondrous world of evil!" Leanne runs over to him shaking his hand.
"I'll be backing away slowly." Inuyasha walks back into the room with Meghan. "She's a mad scientist. NO ONE TOLD ME I"D BE LEARNING FROM A MAD SCIENTIST!"
"Here are nuklear labs we take pride in the advancement of evil science. I'm Leanne Rankin and this is Meghan my intern." Leanne says.
"Mad scientists have interns?" Inuyasha asks.
"I'm an evil intern." Meghan says.
"Oh come on…" Inuyasha starts.
"Oh relax. Have some evil coffee." Meghan hands him a cup.
"This job sounds fascinating, Ms. Rankin but I have to admit I have some reservations." Inuyasha says drinking the coffee.
"Really? Why's that?" Leanne says while Meghan is being a loin tamer with the gerbils.
"Call me a naive little goody goody but I was hoping not to immediately throw my life with the forces of insanity and darkness. Plus the coffee is decaf." Inuyasha says.
"I TOLD you it was evil coffee!" Meghan says cracking her whip.
"You served me decaf coffee just to be 'evil'?" Asks Inuyasha.
"I'm very sorry, on behalf of nuklear labs. I apologize my intern is not behaving appropriately. You know I expect better from you Meghan!" Leanne says.
"I'm sorry Leanne." Meghan says.
"Next time I want to see REAL evil at least irradiate the coffee." Leanne yells.
"We're out of plutonium." Meghan defends.
"For shame, Meghan serving decaf coffee hardly qualifies as unadulterated evil!" Leanne yells.
"He admitted he didn't like it!" Meghan yells back.
"Yes, but I worry that you lack a truly devious spirit!" Leanne says.
"I'm only an evil intern. I'm still learning!" Meghan yells.
"Uggg" Inuyasha falls to the ground.
"But learning quickly!" Leanne congratulates.
"If he ever wakes up he'll thank me for the object lesson." Meghan says.
Much time later…Inuyasha is waking up to see Leanne right in his face.
"Hey! All you neurons still firing?" Leanne asks.
"Wha…what happened?" Inuyasha asks dizzy.
"Meghan poisoned your coffee. She does that. You were out for three hours." Leanne says.
"Are you saying I spent the better part of an afternoon completely at the mercy of two mentally unhinged young women?" Inuyasha says loudly.
"We prefer to know as 'mad' want another cup?" Leanne walks off.
Maybe evil isn't all its cracked up to be… Inuyasha thinks. "Ya know maybe I'll leave I've seen enough of the dark side." Inuyasha starts to walk away.
"Ohhh but I made these great quiz questions for you. Number one: While appendage would you least mind having sawed off and pickled?" Leanne asks.
"No offence but I'll keep helping people, now I'd like to run away as fast and far as possible." Inuyasha says.
"Well alright you're certainly free to go…" Leanne says.
"Thanks I'll find my own way out thank you…" Inuyasha gets cut off by…
"LEANNE RANKIN WE KNOW YOUR AND YOUR HENCHMEN ARE IN THERE! FIRST ONE TO SURRENDER ONLY GETS THEIR HEAD SHOT OFF!" The police yell outside the building.
"But first another cup of coffee." Inuyasha quickly says.
"Drat those police are so pesky! How are you with a flamethrower?" Leanne asks Inuyasha.
"Not to alarm anybody but the lab is surrounded by cops!" Meghan says running up to them.
"We noticed." Leanne bluntly points out.
"Aren't your suppose to have an underground fortress or something?" Inuyasha asks.
"With today's lease rates?" Leanne asks.
"What about thugs? Evil geniuses should at least have thugs!" Inuyasha says.
"There's still some napalm in the fridge!" Meghan says.
"LEANNE RANKIN THIS IS THE F.B.I WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!" Says the F.B.I.
"Uh-oh this is about the manifesto isn't it?" Leanne says.
"I TOLD YOU not to publish the manifesto!" Meghan yells.
"You're a terrible mad/evil scientist you know that right?" Inuyasha says. "What is it anyway?"
"All I did was threaten to unleash giant mutant gerbils upon Washington D.C unless the U.S government agrees to my demands." Leanne says evilly.
"Demands?" Inuyasha quickly asks.
"I did have quite a few." Leanne points out.
"Any of them involve cedar shavings and alfalfa pellets?" Inuyasha asks looking around the lab.
"Only the first 13 clauses." Leanne says.
"It needed editing big time. Leanne misspelled 'carnage' twice." Meghan sighs.
"Looks like we have to prepare for a standoff. Meghan how's our armoury?" Leanne asks.
"Umm…I've had a look at our big bazooka and I have at least one suggestion for future arms purchases." Squirts water at Inuyasha. "Hasbro really isn't a reputable firearms manufacturer." Meghan puts it away.
"Well I'm so out of here." Inuyasha says before jumping out the window.
"…Well lets drop some water balloons on them then." Leanne says.
"One is full of water the other full of sulphuric acid. Want to find out which one is which?" Meghan says evilly.
Back at Kagome's house.
"How was your trip to the evil scientist?" Kagome asks seeing Inuyasha jump through the window.
"You're the evilest person I've ever met." Inuyasha says.
"Thanks I try."
Kazer Dragon: I bet Inuyasha won't be evil again after that… it was an idea I had wait for the next one!
Coffee evil or good?"Some of you have expressed concern regarding this episodes stance on the morality of certain caffeinated beverages." Leanne says. (cough cough you know who you are.)
"They ask 'isn't all coffee evil but evil in a good way." Meghan says holding a letter.
"Is coffee, by its very nature, inherently evil? Or is this stance that evil is original, natural state of coffee-excessively Calvinist? Would is not be more reasonable to posit that coffee is created morally neutral and contains the potential for either good or evil?" Leanne says.
"Didn't we agree there would be no pontificating?" Meghan says.
"They ask a challenging question!" Leanne argues.
"Why do I have to be here!" Inuyasha complains. "Ok the next one asks: 'What about a decaf God's Blessing that can't be evil can it?' Whatever a God's Blessing is it doesn't sound evil…"
"But here we risk the fallacy of Nietzsche moral super coffee the idea that certain brews stand above the ethics which define other coffees! Must we succumb to the myth of latte of the gods? A Master Roast? I SAY NO!" Leanne yells.
"Sorry folks somebody had too much coffee before writing this." Inuyasha grabs her to drag her away.
"NO COFFEE IS ABOVE THE LAW!" Leanne screams.
"Too much evil coffee. Let's go Leanne." Meghan helps Inuyasha drag her.