Previously on The Tahiri Veila Show…
Kyp and Jysella…
Jag and Jaina…
And…
Jacen and Tahiri?
No!
Season 2
Episode 3
Hidden in the back seat of my head
Some place I can't remember where
I found it just by coincidence
And now I'm all hung up again
Just like a soldier from the past
Who won't be told it's over yet
Refusing to put down his gun
He'll keep on fighting 'til his war is won
He's gotta hurt someone
He'll keep on fighting 'til his war is won
Waiting for the moment
Keep on looking for a sign
Extraordinary - trying to cease the war inside
Hidden in the back seat of my head
Some place I can't remember where
Found it just by coincidence
An' now I'm all hung up again
Hung Up/ Paul Weller
House of Pain, Senate City, Coruscant
40 ABY
Ten Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War
Jaina was actually having a great time.
Jacen had led her and their friends through the tunnels under the club and had gotten them into the main room with enough time to watch the opening band, Morcheeba, perform the last two songs of their set.
She had seen Kyp at the bar, clearly intent on drowning his sorrows in more alcohol. If Jaina was lucky Kyp would drink enough to not care that Jysella had found a very attentive dancing partner in the time Jaina was in Tahiri's dressing room. If Jaina was unlucky, Kyp wouldn't be able to drown his misery and would insist that she take him home.
The illumination was still down and Tahiri's band seemed to be adjusting their instruments and preparing for their leader. Then the band began to play a haunting melody that reminded Jaina vaguely of thick fluid bubbling over intense heat, and Tahiri walked out on stage singing the first verse of a song that the crowd seemed to know.
Sometimes I get up feeling good
but greed gets me down,
I try to think about the highs,
the freedom we've found.
When the business in your life
don't sit with your soul,
And they treat you like a child
they need to control.
The music that we make
will heal all our mistakes
and lead us,
The music that we hear
is always standing near
to feed us.
We're all gonna rise above all things that we lack,
Good vibrations that we make
will come bouncing back.
The music that we make
will heal all our mistakes
and lead us,
The music that we hear
is always standing near
to feed us.
The music wound down as Tahiri finished her song and was met with thunderous applause and other sounds that Jaina recognized as the result of a variety of species showing appreciation.
"Good evening," Tahiri purred. "It's nice to see you all tonight. I haven't been here for a while. Have you missed me?"
Jaina laughed as the fans went wild.
"Good. I've missed you, too." Tahiri's voice became lower and huskier as she breathed out slowly, "Each and every one of you."
The next song started with what sounded like the tinkling of bells and hundreds of males in the audience began yelling and whistling.
Allowing her body to sway in sync with the rhythm of the music, Tahiri looked out into the crowd with a seductive smile. "Some of you obviously remember this one."
This brought another resounding cheer from a group in the back and along the side of the room. The raw sexuality of the music was startling but even that didn't prepare Jaina for what happened when Tahiri began to sing.
Come on closer
I wanna show you
what I'd like to do
you sit back now
Just relax now
I'll take care of you
By the end of the first verse it was pretty clear what the song was about and Jaina was impressed with Tahiri's confident performance. She was only more impressed as the song went on.
Hot temptations
Sweet sensations
Infiltrating through
Sweet sensations
Hot temptations
Coming over you
Gonna take it slow babe
Do it my way
Keep your eyes on me
Your reaction
To my action
Is what I want to see
Rhythmic motion
Raw emotion
Infiltrating through
Sweet sensations
Hot temptations
Coming over you
Jaina realized that it wasn't just the lyrics of the song that seemed to make the temperature in the club rise so dramatically during the performance. The way Tahiri carried herself across the stage and the grace with which she moved her body were so alluring, Jaina found herself drawn to her friend. Stars, if Tahiri was getting her hot and bothered, no wonder the men were going insane and even her stadium shows sold out all over the galaxy.
And now you're satisfied
A twinkle in your eye
Go to sleep for ten
And anticipating
I will be waiting
For you to wake again
Hot temptations
Sweet sensations
Infiltrating through
Sweet sensations
Hot temptations
Coming over you
The backup singers began chanting…
When you wake up
we'll do it all again
When you wake up
When you wake up
we'll do it all again
When you wake up
…as Tahiri slinked back over to the microphone pole, pulled it to her body and, closing her eyes and leaning her head back as if in ecstasy, began to speak/sing the last verse.
Hour after hour
of sweet pleasure, pleasure, pleasure...
Her head rocked back up as she grasped the pole in front of her, running her fingers lightly along it...
After this I guarantee
you'll never wanna leave
Shut your eyes and think about
what I'm about to do
Rolling her head to the side and turning her face to the front of the stage she opened her eyes and pointed...
Sit back relax I'll take my time
his lovin's all for
…at Jacen.
You
The music stopped, the room went dark, and the crowd went wild.
Jaina was so dumbfounded she barely registered the kiss Tahiri blew in the direction of her brother. Was it possible that there was more to Jacen and Tahiri than even Zekk had suspected?
When the lights came back on, Tahiri had tipped the top of the mic pole away from her body. She had a nic-stick in her other hand and with her head thrown back, was blowing a larger plume of smoke straight up into the air. The message was clear.
Some being in the back screamed, "Thank you."
Another, more brazen man yelled out, "I love you, Tahiri!" bringing the whole place into fits of laughter and applause.
Tahiri smiled and in her husky voice asked, "Did you enjoy that?" Smiling at the many affirmatives, she then said, "Good; my mission is to show you a good time."
Tahiri continued bantering with her audience for a moment and then broke into another, equally well received, although not quite as racy, song. Jaina and her fellow Jedi spent the next two hours dancing and laughing, enjoying each others' company and loving the way the crowd reacted to their friend.
As Tahiri finished another song, and again began talking to her audience, a soft yellow spotlight turned to shine on her alone. A tall stool was brought to her at the center of the stage and she sat down.
"Alright, gentlebeings, as promised, here is another new one. So new in fact that only two other people have ever heard it. I wrote it for a friend who died during the war. I hope you like it."
Jacen had warned her that Tahiri was going to do a song she'd written for Anakin… and though she tried to brace herself, she was overwhelmed by emotion as soon as the music started and Tahiri closed her eyes.
I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Don't think I ever believed that
this day would come
Now all I'm feeling
is lost and numb
And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I would try
But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
I'll always be thankful
for the time we had
We were blessed
I should celebrate
but I feel too sad
All the wonderful memories
just make me fall apart
And it feels like somebody's
stabbed me in my heart
And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I wouldn't cry
But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side
Walking, holding hands
Talking, making plans
Touching my heart my soul
I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Tell me it's not happening
Say it's not as it seems
Tell me that I'm gonna wake up
It's just a bad dream
Please tell me that it's fiction
Tell me it's just a lie
Whatever you choose to tell me
Please say you didn't die
And I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side
Ooh well I, miss you
want you by my side
Back here by my side
Here by my side
The music ended and the club was completely silent, but for the sobs that could be heard around the room, reminding Jaina that she and her friends were not the only ones who had lost people they loved during those five horrific years. It was one of the most beautiful songs Jaina had ever heard and it had been over for several seconds before someone towards the back finally started to clap, quickly joined by the rest of the audience.
Tahiri opened her eyes and looked out on the room, a sad smile slowly spreading across her face as the reaction of the crowd began to register.
"Thank you."
The same brazen man from before again yelled out, "I love you, Tahiri!" Instantly, bringing the high spirits back to the room.
"I love you too." Tahiri whispered, then she sighed, seeming to shake the melancholy off. "Ok, let's do another new one before I say goodnight."
The music started again and Tahiri smiled and once more began to sway in time to the gentle sound.
Jaina tried to concentrate on the lyrics of the song, but couldn't shake the feeling she had been getting off-and-on all night. Someone was watching her.
You can't know, oh no
you can't know
how much I think about you, no
It's making my head spin
Looking at you
and you are looking at me
and we both know what we want
hmmm, so close to giving in
Jaina had figured that she had been recognized from war holos or something, and had been trying to ignore it. Suddenly, a familiar Force signature caught her attention and she whipped around to see Jag Fel, not twenty meters away, looking at her.
Feel so nice
oh yeah you feel so nice
wish I could spend the night
but I can't pay the price
oh no, no
Directly in front of Jag, was Noya, seemingly unaware of Jaina's presence, or Jag's focus on her.
But I'm flying so high
high off the ground
when you're around
And I can feel your high
rocking me inside
it's too much to hide
Back to earth
where did you take me to
I know there's no such thing
As painless love
well it'll catch us up
and we can never win
But ohhh
I feel so alive
ohhh
Just wanna hold you
hold you so tight
Jaina felt her heart throb painfully in her chest, while she stared back at him. After a minute, he simply turned his attention back to the stage.
And I'm flying so high
high off the ground
when you're around
And I can feel your high
touching me inside
and it's too much to hide
And I'm flying so high
high off the ground
when you're around
"Gonna take it slow babe
Do it my way
Keep your eyes on me
Your reaction
To my action
Is what I want to see"
Kyp Durron was not amused. He did not want to be in this club and was cursing himself, not for the first time tonight, for agreeing to go out with Jaina.
He was sickened to see Tahiri Veila, a once promising and extremely talented Jedi Knight, prancing around on this stage in such a revealing outfit.
Actually, if Kyp was really honest with himself…Tahiri's dress wasn't that revealing…but it certainly wasn't as baggy as her Jedi robes.
Ok… Kyp told himself, Let me be even more honest with myself; my foul mood has nothing to do with Tahiri Veila… it is one-hundred percent the result of a meter and a half of… exquisite woman… who did not dress like that when we were on missions.
If Kyp thought sitting across from Jysella at the dinner had been difficult, that was nothing compared to watching her dance with that… guy… while Tahiri sang this… song.
"Rhythmic motion
Raw emotion
Infiltrating through
Sweet sensations
Hot temptations
Coming over you"
Kyp searched his mind for a time he had seen Jysella dressed in such a short skirt and was certain she hadn't owned it when they were working together. He knew she had a well conditioned, athletic body… but had her legs always been that long?
Sighing and turning back to the bar, he ordered himself another drink. This was killing him. He had not wanted to walk away from Jysella in the first place, never had been big on self denial, but when he felt he was close to the breaking point, close to giving into temptation and confessing what he really felt for her… he had turned Jysella over to Luke. He had been devastated when Luke had then informed him of Jysella's decision to leave the Order and had wondered for weeks now if he had, in fact, made all the right choices.
Gulping down his drink and then turning back toward the stage, Kyp once again caught sight of Jysella and her… partner, just as the rotten filthy nerf moved his body closer to hers. Kyp grimaced as he watched Jysella smile up at the man and lean in to whisper something in his ear.
She was clearly having a good time and this was exactly what Kyp wanted her to be doing; going out with men her own age. So why did it feel like someone was burying a vibroblade into his gut?
Maybe it had something to do with how close to Jysella's rear that Hutt-slime's hands were getting. Kyp was about to turn back to the bar when he felt a sudden rise in discomfort come from Jysella just as the slime's hand moved.
That was it. He'd had enough and, he decided, Jysella had too.
Marching on to the dance floor and grabbing the offending hand Kyp leaned toward the creep and, using the Force to make sure that he was really heard, said, "I think your work here is done."
Nerf-brain gave Kyp, then Jysella, a slightly confused look and then smiled tentatively at his former dancing partner. "I think my work here is done. Good Night." And walked away.
Feeling satisfied, Kyp turned to Jysella, but was greeted with the iciest glare he had ever received from her, and that was no mean feat.
"You arrogant bantha..."
"Jella…"
She turned and stormed toward an exit, Kyp following hot on her very high heels.
He finally got close to her in the alley outside. The same alley Kyp had watched Jacen lead some of their friends down when they had first arrived. Jacen hadn't told Kyp to not follow the other's to Tahiri's dressing room, but he knew Jacen would prefer that he didn't, so he'd headed straight to the bar while Jysella, Valin and the two Twi'lek girls he'd brought with him, had headed straight to the dance floor.
"Jella." Kyp called out again.
He was surprised to see Jysella stop short and turn back to face him. He had expected to have to chase her down and force her to talk to him. But Kyp's relief was short-lived. When she turned he quickly realized that she hadn't made him chase her because she had something to say and he cringed at the all too familiar sight of Jysella Horn enraged.
"How dare you…"
"How dare I?" Kyp asked. "You had had enough. I felt it from you."
"You had no right to step in. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
"I didn't look like it from where I was standing."
Kyp hated it when she gave him the look she now wore. It was the 'you condescending bastard' look, and he had seen it often enough in the years that they worked together to have given it its own name.
"You're incredible, Kyp. You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me?"
"That is not what was happening. I thought you needed help."
"Well I didn't, and you lost the right to step in when you left me."
"I didn't leave you."
"What do you call dumping me on Master Skywalker's lap? You didn't want to deal with me anymore, so you ditched me."
"Stop it, Jel."
"You can't call me that. You don't have the right. You can call me Miss Horn."
"But not Jedi Horn."
Jysella shook her head slightly.
Feeling himself begin to get angry, he growled, "Did you do that just to make me feel guilty because you didn't get your way?"
"No, Kyp, it actually never occurred to me that my leaving would have any effect on you."
"How could you think that your leaving the Order wouldn't affect me?"
"Because of the way you treated me!" she yelled. "I tried to have an adult dialogue with you regarding my feelings and never did you acknowledge that they could be real. If you had even once, just once, talked to me, like an adult, instead of lecturing me about how I didn't know what I was talking about; the situation would have been easier. That night, after I had returned from Corellia, all I was trying to do was explain this to you. I wasn't trying to seduce you. And any suggestion I might have sent your way was more out of frustration than anything."
Kyp's stomach hollowed out as he realized why she was saying this.
Crossing her arms, Jysella nodded. "Yes, Master Skywalker told me all about your talk. Honestly, Kyp… how could you tell him such things without talking to me? That I was sending you Force suggestions? That I was trying to seduce you?"
Jysella was silent for a moment, while Kyp took in what she had just said, then she skewered him.
"For once in your life, Kyp Durron, look at a situation from someone else's point of view. Did I ever once ask you to love me in return?"
Kyp closed his eyes for a second before looking up to meet Jysella's stare. "Uhhh… no… actually, you never did."
"No… I didn't. I would have been overjoyed if you had felt something for me, but I'm not an idiot. I understand how difficult it would have been for you to have a relationship with me. I never even meant for you to find out. Clearly, I was delirious when I blurted it out. And when I saw you again after I got away from my parents; all I was trying to do was explain things to you. All I ever wanted was for you to know that there was someone in the universe that cared for you above all others. To know that someone felt you were worth loving that much. But you never even listened to me because you were so busy trying to stop me from doing something you might regret."
Kyp took in a deep breath as he thought about what Jel was saying to him. Was it possible that he had so incredibly misjudged and mishandled the situation? His heart ached at the possibility. The irony of the whole thing was that he was in love with her. But clearly, as she had just pointed out, he was too wrapped up in his own perspective to have seen any of this from hers.
Kyp reached deep inside himself and dug up the courage to ask, "Why did you leave the Order?"
There was suddenly so much sadness radiating off of her that Kyp was sure that the answer on the tip of her tongue was going to make him feel the second worst that he had ever felt in his life.
"I left because I didn't want to be a Jedi if I couldn't be with you. Because besides being in love with you, I respect you and was inspired by you… and when you turned your back on me, I realized that I would never be happy in the Order if it meant being around you and not being able to at least be friends. And I figured you dumping me on Luke and then refusing to talk to me was a pretty clear sign that we wouldn't be friends anymore."
He was right… that did make him feel really bad.
"Jel…" he started, but he stopped when he saw the stream of tears trailing down her cheek.
She sniffed and looked up toward the night sky, away from Kyp's eyes, and continued, "You know... I was coming to terms with the fact that you would never believe that I genuinely cared for you when you took me back to Master Skywalker. That was part of why I was so angry. I had a whole speech prepared and everything. I was going to apologize for making you uncomfortable. I was prepared to try and go back to living the way we had been living. I just never imagined that you would dump me like you did without even warning me."
"I'm sorry, Jel. You have no idea how sorry I am."
A small sob escaped her throat and before Kyp even realized what he was doing he had stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her body tightly against his and inhaled deeply as he laid his cheek down on the top of her head, into her silky hair.
He didn't know how long he had stood there holding her, stroking her back and whispering comforting sounds to her, or when she uncrossed her arms and wrapped them around him. He wasn't sure when he had pulled his cheek off her head to place a tender kiss against her forehead or when she turned her gaze up to meet his… but he did register the moment when their eyes locked and he realized that his desire to keep his distance from her was evaporating like water on Tatooine.
They stared at each other for a long moment and Kyp screamed at himself to stop what he was doing and back the kriff up… but he couldn't make himself let go of her. He had made her cry and now he wanted to stop her tears. He had hurt her badly and now he wanted to make her happy. But most of all, he wasn't so sure anymore that he could live without her or that that was indeed the best thing for them both.
Kyp moved one hand from her back and slowly traced it up her arm and then moved his hand to trace her lower lip. She had such a beautiful mouth. Perfect, ruby lips…
"Hmmmm…"
Kyp was a meter away from Jysella before he fully registered Jacen's presence.
"Sorry, I tried to tell you two through the Force that I was coming..."
Kyp looked at the approaching man, terrified that he would misinterpret what he had undoubtedly just seen, but before he could say anything Jacen placed a hand on Kyp's shoulder and smiled.
"Relax. I figured you guys were out here talking so I told Valin I'd look for you." Looking toward Jysella, Jacen continued, "He realized you weren't in the club and started to get worried. I told him to stay and enjoy himself."
Kyp began to speak again, "Look, Jacen…"
He was once again cut off. "Kyp… you don't have to explain anything to me. You're both adults and you'll figure out your own issues. I just didn't think you needed the added pressure of dealing with a drunk and horny Valin who would prefer to be dancing with his new best friends than stumbling on you two trying to figure out if you're going to attempt a relationship."
Jysella spoke up before Kyp had a chance to. "Stop it, Jacen. There is no relationship… just Kyp being an idiot and me telling him off."
Kyp looked at Jysella then chuckled at the situation. Obviously, she still didn't get what his true feelings were. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
"Yeah… and she's had plenty of practice and is quite proficient. In fact, Jella, I heard everything you said loud and clear. You're right and I am sorry. Now, why don't you go back inside and enjoy the show. I think I'll head back to Jaina's and call it a night."
Kyp could tell by her expression that Jysella wasn't quite sure what to say.
"Go on… You've been dying to see Tahiri again for ages. Go enjoy yourself. We'll talk soon."
"Really?"
Kyp stepped forward again and took hold of both of Jysella's arms at the elbows. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead then rested his own against it for a moment.
Finally stepping back he said, "Yes… I promise."
When Jysella still didn't turn to leave Kyp looked to Jacen, "Will you help me here."
Jacen chuckled. "C'mon, Jysella, I actually do need to get back inside. Tahiri promised me she would do a song she wrote for Anakin and I can't miss it."
Kyp watched Jysella nod and smile at him. "Goodbye, Kyp."
She turned and followed Jacen back down the alley.
Just before they rounded the corner Kyp called out, "Jacen." When he was sure he had the other man's attention he said, "Will you tell Tahiri that… I was impressed by her performance."
Jacen's smile somehow made Kyp feel even worse about what he was sort of trying to apologize for.
"Yeah, Kyp, I'll tell her."
Jacen and Jysella then disappeared around the corner and Kyp turned in the opposite direction and headed towards Jaina's.
Next time on Fear and Love...
Sleep over at Jacen's…
Song Credits: The first song Tahiri sings is Moog Island by Morcheeba, the second is Come On Closer by Jem, the third is Missing You by Jem and the fourth is Flying High by Jem.