Previously on Horny Young Jedi...

Jacen and Tahiri sittin' in a tree...

K~I~S~S~I~N~G...

Season 2
Interlude, Part 1

It's only doubts that we're counting on fingers broken long ago
I read that with every broken heart we should become more adventurous
And if you banish me from your prophets and if I get banished from the kingdom up above
I'd sacrifice money and heaven all for love
Let me be loved, let me be loved

And if my brain quits well I guess then that's just it
And if my hands stop working you can call me lazy
And if I get pregnant I guess I'll just have the baby
Let it be loved, let me be loved

I've been trying to nod my head but it's like I've got a broken neck
Wanting to say 'I will' as my last testament
For me to be saved and you to be brave we don't have to walk down that aisle
Cause if marriage ain't enough
Well, at least we'll be loved.

I've felt the wind on my cheek coming down from the east
And thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees
And maybe ours is the cause of all mankind
Get loved, make more, try to stay alive

I've been trying to nod my head but it's like I've got a broken neck

Wanting to say 'I will' as my last testament

For you to be saved and me to be brave we don't have to walk down that aisle

Cause if marriage ain't enough

Well at least we'll be loved

More Adventurous/Blake Sennett, Jenny Lewis

Solo Family Beach House, Corellia
35 ABY
5 Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War

"Mom? Dad?"

Jacen dragged his weary body through the back door of the Solo's house as he called to his parents, surprised to not be met by them. When neither responded to his second call he assumed that they were either walking on the beach or had gone out on an errand. He dropped his travel bag on the floor and shrugged out of his cloak, letting it fall onto the bag.

Walking through the dining room and into the kitchen he hoped to at least find C3-PO, but even the fussy droid was absent, and Jacen knew he wasn't walking on the beach. Much to his disappointment the only thing to greet him was an empty room and the bluish holoimages of his parents being projected repeatedly on the cooktop; he supposed they hadn't wanted him to miss the message.

Han and Leia's small blue likenesses stood on the burners telling Jacen over and over how sorry they were to not be there to celebrate his lifeday. Neither one mentioned, or seemed repentant, about the guilt they had employed to get him to come 'home' in the first place. In fact they said they were sure he would understand that Leia was needed on Denon, and therefore Han was needed to fly Leia where Leia was needed.

Jacen switched off the holo projector and stared absently at the cooktop, thinking that he should have ignored his mother's cajoling and gone to Hapes to spend his lifeday with Cem and Tenel Ka; then the significance of the clean surface he was looking at registered. No parents meant… no celebration meal... and no ryshcate.

"Shavit." Jacen slapped his hand down on the counter and shook his head. "Great… lonely and hungry. Happy lifeday to me."

Grabbing an ale from the refrigeration unit, he walked back to the hall to retrieve his bag and slowly made his way up the stairs to his room.

His was the smallest of the three 'kids' rooms; the larger two assigned to Jaina and Tahiri when the house had been built. For not the first time it struck Jacen that since his father had overseen Wedge's design of the house there was simply no reason that his room needed to be as small as it was. In fact, Han and Wedge could have made it virtually any size they wanted. Jacen assumed that his dad and holdfather had taken some perverse joy in designing this glorified closet for him while at the same time creating grand suites for the girls. Jacen didn't even have his own 'fresher - he was forced to share one that was next to the guest room down the corridor. Of course that room was bigger than his too.

He had never dared to protest or even comment, sure of the responses he was likely to hear: "When I was your age I spent more time in the cockpit of an X-wing than in a bed," from Wedge.

Han would have claimed, "I figured with the whole 'Jedi' thing, you would be more comfortable in something small and austere."

"Well dear, when we started planning out this house you were out searching the galaxy for 'answers' and we didn't know if you'd even want a room here," Leia would say without bitterness.

And of course, "Hey little brother, look at it this way; it's not the Embrace Of Pain," the always pragmatic Jaina was sure to take the chance to tease him. Easy for her to say; she had a bigger room.

It had never been a secret to Jacen that Jaina was Han's favorite child. He understood; she was his only daughter and the 'firstborn', and they shared personality characteristics that Jacen simply did not possess. It didn't seem to have any real effect on Han's love for him and Jacen even imagined that if one day presented with a daughter of his own he would probably empathize. That was all fine. But did Han have to give Tahiri a bigger room too?

Jacen smiled, clearly remembering the look on Tahiri's face when she was first shown the space that had been designed for her. It was a corner room with windows covering two whole walls and Jacen thought it had the best views in the house. The beach could be seen from almost anywhere you stood, and an ancient Salix tree was close enough to the windows to shade the room from the late afternoon heat in the spring and summer months, but not so close that it blocked the waning light in the fall and winter when this part of Corellia saw the fewest hours of its primary. It was a magnificent area to be in and Tahiri's shock and joy were unmistakable; it was clear to all how much Han's gesture meant to her.

Yeah, Han had to give Tahiri a bigger room too.

And Tahiri had needed and been using her room lately, unlike Jaina and him. He supposed that of the three of them, Tahiri needed her room the most; both the actual space and the emotion that inspired the gesture.

His momentary gladness at the thoughts of Tahiri fled and he sighed deeply. He really missed her.

Sharing a house with her on Ossus with Valin and Zekk, working side by side on missions, sharing meals and downtime, taking trips to and from Denon to report to the Council on their respective work - they'd all grown close, but he and Tahiri especially so. She was the only one who could even begin to comprehend what he had gone through during his captivity, or the lasting effects that still touched him daily, even years later. This, the length of time they'd known each other, and her connection to his family had all intensified their bond until it almost felt like living with a sibling; if you didn't count the fantasies he had begun to have of her a few months in.

Jacen had fought long and hard to not admit to himself that he had a crush on her, even longer to not cringe at the idea. And though he knew he would never act on his feelings, neither that knowledge nor the guilt he felt because of Anakin deterred his imagination. He had never been so grateful for his strength in shielding. Of course, to make matters worse, aside from finding her physically attractive, through spending all that time with her, and eventually going on that fateful mission to Capza, Jacen had come to realize what a truly exceptional woman Tahiri Veila was.

It had been shortly after Capza, while Jacen and Valin had been investigating mysterious attacks on Cerea, that he had been struck by how similar the grass on that world was to the shade of green Tahiri's eyes turned when she was happy. It was all downhill for Jacen after that. He was then quick to notice a field of tall grass with a bluish hue that brought to mind the very color her eyes turned when she was flushed after a brisk run, or a sparring match, or a good laugh, usually at Jacen's expense it seemed. Soon he found himself comparing the halo of golden ringlets surrounding her face to the sand on a lakeside beach.

He felt that familiar pang of regret that Anakin had not lived to see the girl he loved grow into the woman she was now. She was smart and compassionate and fun, and as the whole galaxy was beginning to learn, had the voice of an angel.

No, he told himself, he didn't still have a crush on her.

Who am I kidding?

But that still wasn't why she had increasingly occupied his thoughts in the last year.

Jacen had been genuinely surprised when Tahiri had first told him she was thinking of leaving the Order, and his heart had hurt at the thought of her no longer being one of them. She had sworn him to secrecy though, so he couldn't even go to Luke or his mother with his concerns. If the emotion Jacen felt about Tahiri formally resigning was concern for her well-being, her subsequent disappearance made him frantic. Crush or no, she was one of his closest friends and he was out of his mind with worry.

When Tahiri finally resurfaced it only made sense that she'd contact Han and Leia. It was about this time that it came out that Tahiri had been living on Csilla with the Fel family while writing and recording a collection of music, and then had begun a performing tour to promote her work. She'd needed a home base in Known Space and Han had immediately offered the beach house when she wasn't traveling for as long as she needed or wanted. Leia hadn't been thrilled with Tahiri's recent choices, but she was happy to have the girl back within the folds of the family. Or, as his mother had told Jacen, back within whacking distance when Leia felt the need to try to beat some sense into her.

If his mother suspected that there was anything peculiar in the questions he had about Tahiri, which he tried to nonchalantly slip into their conversations any time he spoke to her, Leia was kind enough to not make an issue of it. One afternoon she'd found Jacen in Tahiri's room after he had fallen into an exhausted sleep sprawled sideways across her bed. He'd arrived on Corellia after completing yet another disastrous mission with Kyp to find that he had missed seeing her by only a few hours. Leia hadn't questioned his explanation that her room was cooler than his, even though it faced the setting sun and, since Tahiri had shut all the windows that morning when getting ready to leave, it was stifling hot, while Jacen's own room, which faced the rising sun, was considerably cooler.

He raised his hand to trigger his door sensor and began to enter when a thought struck him; Tahiri's door was right there, just a few meters away. Why not just use her room? After all, he'd arrived expecting to be pampered by his mother and instead found himself in a deserted house; why not take the best room in it while he was here?

Jacen sighed and turned around. It was his lifeday after all. And he was alone. Why not look for a little joy in the physical proximity to the crush he could never have fulfilled? Why not breathe in her scent and imagine her happy somewhere? He always went into her room when he was here, just to feel close to her. The thought that Tahiri had probably been in that room recently crossed his mind and he was again overwhelmed with longing.

It saddened him greatly that in the time since she had left Ossus the only people he knew, other than the Fels, who had spoken to her were Han and Leia. However, he did need to acknowledge that had he really wanted to he could easily have tracked her down, or simply asked Jag or Cem for her new comm code. He wasn't sure why he hadn't once his annoyance at the brothers for not telling him they knew where Tahiri had been passed, and that bothered him.

He turned and walked toward her door, still working to convince himself that there was absolutely no reason to feel weird about this while at the same time wondering if he was developing a true problem. What could it hurt? No one would care. No one would even know. Of course that very thought made him feel increasingly worse about it.

He triggered the door sensor and as it slid fully open he stopped dead in his tracks; the sight that greeted him was confusing. The place looked like the scene of a luggage explosion.

Stunning fabrics in all different colors were strewn across the bed. On the floor he saw travel bags, much nicer and more expensive than his own; clearly the clothes, shoes, and other personal objects that were piled high on every available surface had come out of these bags. For just a second Jacen's heart raced at the idea that Tahiri was here, but he realized that his hope was silly; there was no way that Tahiri could have accumulated all of this stuff since she'd left the Order. Was there? He knew her music was selling well and that her performances all over the Outer Rim and the Corporate Sector were highly reviewed, but could she be making real credits? And buying stuff?

He took a step into the room and nearly came out of his skin when Fiver, sitting in the corner, began to trill and whistle at him in greeting. Jacen felt his lips curl into a smile and he inhaled deeply. Anakin's astromech was one of the very few things Tahiri had taken with her when she'd left Ossus; she was here.

Jacen turned and raced back to his room, opening the door and tossing his bag on the bed. He rooted through his dresser and quickly changed into beach shorts before taking the stairs two at a time.

She was here, but where? Reaching out with the Force he searched for her presence, confused as to why he hadn't felt it immediately. She must be shielding, but why?

Reaching the deck that led to the beach, Jacen placed his hand up to his forehead to shield his eyes from the brilliant sunlight. After a second of adjustment he scanned the area and felt his heart race and his chest tighten when straight ahead of him a figure began to emerge from the sea.

Her body had become more curvaceous and sexy as she'd gotten older. Being wet and in a bikini didn't hurt the image at all.

Jacen sighed.

Get a grip, he thought. Calm down...

He had just brought his breathing back under control when he heard and felt her recognition.

"Jacen!" Tahiri waved and yelled excitedly as she jogged towards the deck. "You're finally here!"

He jumped down onto the sand and braced himself. He was always surprised by how strong she was, and when she leapt into his waiting arms and squeezed he laughed and kissed her temple, then just stood there, enjoying the moment as they continued holding on to each other.

Finally letting go and sliding down, Tahiri kissed his cheek.

"It's so good to see you, Jace. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"I might have, if you had let me know where you were." Jacen put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away, just enough to look down into her eyes. "You're an adult and I know you can take care of yourself, but I was still worried sick."

Jacen swung her away and wrapped an arm over her shoulder, guiding her up the steps to the lounge chairs on the deck.

Tahiri sat facing him and reached down to grab an ale from the bucket sitting on the ground. She offered him one and then held her own up in salute. They clicked bottles and each took a drink.

"I'm sorry. I was a jerk for not comming you. What will it take for you to forgive me?"

He reached out and took one of her hands in his, giving it a light squeeze. "It's done. But please, don't do it again."

They smiled at each other for a minute and Tahiri nodded.

"I promise."

"So… tell me; how's the life of a galactic singing sensation?"

Tahiri smiled as she curled up on her side to face him. "Well I'm not a galactic sensation yet, maybe interplanetary, but check back in with me in a couple of years, I'm sure I'll be huge then." She smiled brilliantly then bit her lip and looked down before saying, "I'm having a great time, but the amazing thing is how much I love being on stage."

"You would have been seriously borked if you'd turned your entire life upside down to do this and then realized you didn't actually like performing."

She laughed and said, "true, but I already knew I'd enjoy it, I just didn't realize how much I'd enjoy it. I mean, when I'm up there… everything outside that room just sort of goes away. It's me and the audience, and the music. It's like I've made something and I'm offering it to them... I know this is going to sound crazy, but it makes me think of cooking…"

"You're not blowing the audiences up, are you?"

Tahiri screamed out a laugh, then launched herself at Jacen, tackling him to the chair, tickling and pinching his ribs. He finally managed to pin her hands to his chest with one of his and rolled them so they were on their sides facing each other. When he'd caught his breath he said, "Ok, I need to hear how singing is like cooking. This is going to be fantastic. And yes, I know; I'm an ass… you've told me before."

She smiled and shook her head, then her gaze became unfocused and peaceful. "When I think about Han cooking, and Syal and Tir, and you when we lived together… you all do it with such love. It's like you're saying, 'I care about you so much that I spent time creating this thing to feed your body and your soul.' There's an intimacy about it, a connection is being made on both a primal and emotional level. Growing up in the tribe, and at the academy, and then on ships… It never occurred to me before because eating was like putting fuel in a speeder - you either do it or the speeder doesn't run, there was nothing intimate about it.

"But when the audience is engaged and responsive, I enjoy performing even more, and feed off the energy, which usually amps them up. I imagine that what I experience on stage, when I'm connecting with the crowd, is similar to how you feel when you're feeding someone that matters to you and they love the taste."

Jacen instantly thought of Tahiri humming while she ate things he'd cooked for her and smiled, then leaned over to kiss her forehead. He turned onto his back and pulled her to cuddle into his side. "I've missed you. And I've missed talking to you. That was a beautiful explanation, and you're right, those are all the reasons that I feed you, and based on the press I've been reading, I'm guessing that your audiences are picking up on how you feel; if ticket and chip sales are anything to go by."

Tahiri laughed. "How in the stars do you know about that?"

"There's this amazing thing called the holonet… makes research pretty easy."

"And you've been tracking my career?"

"How else was I supposed to know that you weren't starving to death alone somewhere?"

Tahiri stiffened slightly then said, "Please don't be angry with Jag and Cem. I told them not to lie if you asked straight out, but..."

"Stop." Jacen drew in a breath and rubbed a hand along her back before continuing. "I'm only on my second ale… maybe we should wait until I've had 9 or 10 to really get into you leaving Ossus in the middle of the night with no note or that they both knew where you were the whole time and didn't say anything."

"If I cut you off at 7 and hide the rest can we pretend I didn't do that to you?"

"You may wanna work that in the other direction."

"Switch to shots?"

Jacen snorted. "Now you're just kriffing with my head since we both know I'd be face down before you even lost your balance."

"So will it take less booze or more booze to avoid that conversation?"

"Not where I was going with that."

"It was worth a try."

He sighed, then said, "I've only got a couple of days before I have to go back to work, and stars know when we'll see each other again. I don't want to spoil what little time we have with unpleasant things so I'll agree to let Jag and Cem off the hook if you tell me what happened between you and Luke."

Tahiri sighed, then finally said, "How about we agree to deal with it tomorrow?"

"Sober?"

"Kriff no. Just not today."

Jacen squeezed her and said, "Alright."

"So… have you heard any of it?"

"The music?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"All of it, many times. I bought it."

"And?"

He kissed her forehead again, "It's amazing. I'm so proud of you. And I can't wait to see you on stage in front of an audience."

Jacen felt a surge of emotion from her as she squeezed him. "I'm so glad you liked it. I have a recording of a really good show from a couple of weeks ago, we can watch it later."

"That would make me very happy, Miss Interplanetary Singing Sensation."

After playing around in the water and watching Corellia's primary set, and several more ales, Tahiri had threatened to cook for Jacen if he didn't throw on a shirt so she could take him to dinner. Not wanting to incur her wrath, or spend time looking for the fire extinguisher, Jacen had given in. They'd walked to the family's favorite local cantina and watched some shockball while they ate and continued talking.

Tahiri had spent the afternoon regaling Jacen with tales of her time on Csilla and her first tour, and was now recounting some poor slob's tragic pick up attempt.

"So then he pushes me against the wall and says, in this totally put on deep voice, 'you know this is a dangerous place. The locals are more vicious than anything a sweet little thing like you could handle. Let me walk you home, I can protect you.' And I said, 'I'm not helpless, but thanks.' Then he leans closer and he smells awful, he's had gods know how much to drink, which, in hindsight made sense, this guy did not strike me as someone brave enough to hit on me without fortification."

Jacen interrupted to add, "Few should be."

Tahiri laughed and punched him lightly on the arm before continuing. "Thanks. Anyway, so he leans in and gives me this look that makes it clear he thinks he's about to score and, I couldn't help it, I started laughing."

"I'm actually kinda feeling sorry for the guy."

"His response was to try and slug me." Her last words were said with a significant amount of disbelief, which made Jacen smile. "I mean… what the kriff?"

"So I guess chivalry is dead?"

"In the Corporate Sector, anyway. But never fear; interspecies 'dating' is alive and well."

Jacen laughed again as Tahiri shivered and made a horrified face.

"Anyway, the nice thing about gaining popularity and selling chips is that I can perform in more selective venues. Tir says Syal's been manic about the next leg of my tour… specifically booking better clubs."

The moon was shining down on Tahiri, bathing her face in a soft light. Jacen glanced at her and was struck again by how full and pink and beautiful her lips were.

He stopped and said, "Oh, gods."

Startled, Tahiri stopped too and turned around. "What?"

"I just had a flash to the last thing Anakin asked me to do for him, and I never did it."

Tahiri's eyes became wide and she stepped forward, asking with genuine concern; "What did he ask?"

Jacen stood stunned as the scene came back to him in vivid detail, then met Tahiri's surprised and curious gaze, "He asked me to kiss you."

Tahiri stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing. "How many ales did you have tonight?"

When Jacen's expression stayed serious she sobered quickly.

"You're kidding, right?"

He ignored her disbelief, and the insinuation that he wasn't completely in control, and felt a wave of agitation with himself for forgetting, and with Tahiri for not believing him.

"No, I'm completely serious. He was in the grashal... Jaina wouldn't leave. He… he wanted me to get Jaina out of there, but the last thing he said…" He paused and fought to swallow the lump in his throat before going on, "kiss Tahiri for me. He knew he wasn't… he wanted me to say goodbye to you for him, and I forgot."

Jacen looked at the ground, unable to hold her gaze, and miserable about letting his brother down in this way. Tahiri reached her hand to his chin and lifted his face, forcing him to look at her. When she spoke, the tenderness in her voice only made him feel worse.

"Jace, you had other things on your mind that day. And you were a little busy in the following months. It's okay."

Jacen closed his eyes and shook his head, not letting himself off the hook for his failure.

Tahiri turned from Jacen and looked out towards the moonlit water. A few moments passed and Jacen didn't have to wonder where her attention had gone. When she finally began to speak Jacen stepped forward to see her face. Her eyes were glassy and he was surprised that the tears didn't actually fall.

"When he left… I knew he wasn't coming back, and I was already angry at him for taking the hit for Jaina in the first place. He was my life. He was my only family, my best friend... my first lover…" Tahiri closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. It was several more seconds before she looked back at Jacen and he was surprised to see that a peaceful expression had fallen over her face. "When he was leaving for the grashal, I reached up to kiss him, then pulled away. I told him he had to come back for that kiss. I was punishing him for abandoning me, and it took me years to forgive myself, but I believe now that when he died, Anakin became one with the Force and all comprehending, and that he forgave me right then."

"I'm sure he did."

"Just as I'm sure he forgave you."

Jacen smiled slightly and shrugged his shoulders to show that he acknowledged what Tahiri was saying, even if he didn't necessarily agree with her. He turned to head back to the house and was surprised to feel delicate fingers lace themselves between his as they walked. Tahiri leaned in a little closer and lifted her other hand to hold on to Jacen's arm at the elbow, as though to ensure he wouldn't pull away. Both were silent until Tahiri stopped and turned to him.

"You know, Galactic Hero, just because it's been so long doesn't mean you should hold back. I haven't had a decent kiss in ages; now wouldn't be a bad time."

Jacen stared at her, not quite sure he had heard her correctly, and was met with an impish smile and delight dancing in her eyes. Clearing his throat slightly and pulling his fingers from hers, Jacen brought his hands up to Tahiri's jaw then slid the fingers of one hand into her hair and cupped the back of her head, gently pulling her forward.

Jacen watched as Tahiri's eyes fluttered to a close and heard her breath hitch slightly as he pressed his lips to hers. He thought of the love that his brother had had for Tahiri and the dreams he knew they had shared of what the future would hold for them. He imagined what Anakin must have experienced when he held Tahiri in his arms, and prayed that she felt the sweetness and tenderness he was trying to convey.

When he finally pulled away and opened his eyes he was pleased to be greeted by a soft smile and a sigh.

She laid her head against his chest. "Thank you for helping him say goodbye, Jacen."

"You're welcome, Tahiri." He whispered.

She took his hand again and they quietly resumed their trek back to the house, Jacen lost in thoughts of how he could have forgotten to do that given the number of times he'd fantasized about kissing her.

"You've wanted to do that before," Tahiri said, wonderment in her voice.

Jacen felt the horror of embarrassment that she had obviously picked up on what had been going through his mind and opened his mouth to deny it, but realized she'd pick up on the lie even more easily than she'd picked up on what had just been playing out in his mind.

"Maybe," he finally admitted sheepishly.

After a few more moments Tahiri asked, "Are you going to elaborate or am I going to have to beat it out of you?"

Jacen laughed nervously. "Well, Miss Interplanetary Singing Sensation, I used to have a huge crush on you," he tilted his head back and looked up at the sky, "before it was even a galactic trend."

"When?" She asked, and Jacen was pleased to note the surprise in her voice.

He focused on the stars as he spoke, trying to ignore the tingling in his hand from the feel of Tahiri's fingers intertwined with his. "Oh… I don't know… a while ago."

"Kriff Jace, I had no idea."

"Good, I'd hate to think I couldn't keep something like that shielded. Before now, anyway." Jacen finally summoned up the courage to steal a glance at her face. "I just really freaked you out, didn't I?"

"No," she replied slowly, "actually, you didn't."

They reached the house and were in the sitting room before Tahiri spoke again. She faced Jacen in the dim light and peered up at him with a bemused expression on her face.

"So? Was it what you imagined?"

"What?"

Jacen watched her place her hands on her hips and roll her eyes in exasperation, two gestures that were as quintessentially Tahiri as bare feet had been before her capture.

She now tapped one of those feet, "Kissing me… was it what you thought it would be?"

He felt the heat rise in his cheeks again and looked down at the floor, but said nothing.

Somewhat indignantly, Tahiri said, "Don't tell me, you were so focused on the task that you didn't focus on the experience."

Keeping his head down and looking at her through the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes, he whispered, "Something like that…yeah."

"Well," Tahiri sighed resignedly, "I'd hate for you to go through life curious."

Jacen felt her step closer and he lifted his head, finally allowing himself to look into her eyes, mesmerized by the flecks of gold that highlighted the deep jade color. He felt his heart speed up when she placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled his face down to meet hers. Their lips came together gently, much as they had the first time, only now her lips were parted just a hint more. Their joining lasted a couple of heartbeats, but Jacen was in heaven. As Tahiri pulled back she sucked his lower lip in between hers, then used her teeth to gently scrape and pull before she ran her tongue along it.

That was all the encouragement he needed.

He captured her tongue with his mouth and placed his hand on her hip, then continued moving it around to her lower back, pulling her tightly against himself. He brought his other hand up to cover Tahiri's where it still rested on his cheek. He gently interlaced their fingers and then guided their hands so hers could rest on his chest over his furiously pounding heart. Bringing his hand back up to Tahiri's cheek, he tipped her head and deepened the kiss.

Several minutes passed before Jacen finally pulled slowly away, brushing his thumb along her cheekbone. He gazed at Tahiri's face and smiled at the beauty of it. Her eyes were still closed and a small grin pulled at her red, swollen lips.

"That… was closer to how I imagined it."

Tahiri's eyelids fluttered open, her eyes meeting his.

"Astral…" she sighed.

Her palms had been resting against Jacen's chest as he had pulled back and now she slowly slid them up over his shoulders until she used one to cup his neck while she threaded the fingers of her other hand into his hair, never taking her eyes off his.

All Jacen could think was she's not letting go, she's not letting go. He slowly began to lean forward again, still holding her gaze. Just as their lips were about to meet both closed their eyes and Jacen's mouth was on hers once more.

After a few minutes of kissing, only pulling away long enough to breathe, switch angles and find each others' lips again, Jacen pulled away slightly and nibbled on her plump lower lip before placing a feather light kiss on her chin, then another under her jaw, eliciting a moan that made his simmering blood begin to boil. His hand snaked up to pull her hand from his hair and he again intertwined their fingers and brought both of their hands down so that their arms were out to the side of them. He used his nose to nudge her head to the side creating a line from her ear to her fingertips and then worked his way down her throat with his mouth, using his teeth to gently scrape against the pulse point throbbing under her skin.

Jacen was overcome with feelings of peace and comfort and safety… as though being here, holding Tahiri this way, was exactly where he was meant to be. Her lips tasted of the honeyed ale they had been drinking at the cantina and her body fit so perfectly against his. The longing for her that he had begun to think would be with him forever, the ache in his soul that no other woman he had been with could displace, was abating and the sweetness embodied by the woman in his arms was the reason.

He dragged the fingers on her waist up her ribs slowly, then back down, and ran them from her waist to the small of her back so he could pull her tighter to himself, while he kissed her shoulder, inhaling the slightly salty scent of her skin, a leftover from their hours in the sea.

He let go of her hand and moaned deeply when he felt the very fingers he had just released slide under his shirt to his back, joining her other hand in its sensuous exploration of his skin.

He brought his own fingers lightly up her arm and shoulder and the back of her neck and slowly ran them down to her collarbone while he used his mouth to trace a path of soft kisses around her jaw and down the other side of her neck. She had the softest skin he'd ever felt.

After several minutes, Jacen's mouth traveled slowly back up her jaw until he could again feel her breath on his face. He rubbed the tip of his nose to hers and then softly, reverently, kissed her mouth. He once again hoped that the emotions behind his actions were getting through to her. That she understood how much he cared for her, respected her, wanted her.

Finally, Jacen released his hold on Tahiri's mouth and rested his forehead on hers. Neither of them spoke for some time, both too focused on catching their breath.

"I… um…" Jacen chuckled softly and began again in a hoarse voice, "Sorry, I don't really know what to say."

"Wow comes to mind." Tahiri said breathlessly.

Jacen finally pulled his head back to look into Tahiri's eyes again, studying her and wondering if she had a better idea of how to proceed then he did.

Gods, Jacen thought, have I ever wanted anyone as much as I want you?

They stayed like that, locked in each other's gazes, holding on for endless minutes. He tried desperately to read her but got only blankness, she wasn't opening herself up to him in the Force.

Not receiving any hints from her and not knowing what else to do, he began to feel uncertain and finally said, "I should probably go up to my room."

Tahiri swallowed and her breath caught but she managed to whisper, "Or…"

They continued looking into each other's eyes, Jacen silently praying that the flicker he saw in Tahiri's would lead to an invitation. When she finally closed her eyes and shook her head Jacen was crushed but worked not to let it show.

She slowly pulled her hands from under his shirt and stepped backwards.

"You said you had to make a comm call, didn't you?" He asked.

Tahiri nodded her head. "Yeah, I do."

Turning slowly she walked toward the staircase, only looking back after taking the first two steps upwards.

"Uh… happy lifeday."

Jacen opened his mouth to answer but found nothing to say, so he closed it and just nodded.

When Jacen woke the next morning Tahiri was gone.

Next time on Fear and Love...

Tahiri has time to think...