oOoOo

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Forget me not (because I will)
(Breaking news! Breaking news, everybody!, Ladybug's identity has just been revealed, live, on stream! She's a teenage girl with black hair and [...])

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oOo

School the next day was different. A tense atmosphere engulfed the building as journalists crowded on the front steps, trying to be the first to get a snapshot of Ladybug, unveiledTM . Whispers filled the halls as people stared at every girl with black hair and rumors were spread faster than the news of her identity.

"I once helped her with physics!"

"I know her from the art club!"

"I used to sit next to her in fifth grade!"

Marinette would have know all that, had she attended.

People swarmed her home room and classmates, questioning them to try and get a better picture of what she was like – the first videos were online already, but Tikki didn't allow her to watch them.

"It's bad for you, Marinette. You need to focus on your own mental health right now – and those videos won't help you!"she had said and for once, Marinette had listened to her Kwami. She refused to respond to any texts or calls and her trap door had only been opened once today – this morning, when she had asked her mother to stay at home.

Marinette buried her head in her arms, trying to shut out the noise coming from beneath – the many people that had invaded her parent's shop once the news broke. Alya's blog was fairly popular and the moment that clip had made its way onto the Internet, it had made its way onto national TV. By now it had been replayed countless of times, had been analyzed to the very last frame by so called "experts". The way she spoke ("The way she talks to the "Ladyblogger" is rather familiar… Perhaps they know each other in real life?") to the way she dressed ("Those clothes are definitely handmade - but maybe not by her, the craftsmanship is too good.") to the way she acted ("She seems to be in great distress. I assume that Akuma was particularly hard to defeat.)

At least Mayor Bourgeois had had the integrity to not reveal her true identity to any of the pesky reporters.

It didn't matter anyway. The clothes she wore had been hand sown and she was known for them at her school. A best kept secret was told no one and her school most certainly wasn't "no one".

She had failed. One month into her guardianship and already had she failed Master Fu. She had been the reason he had been revealed to Hawkmoth, she had been the reason why he had needed to give up his own guardianship in the first place and now she had failed once more.

She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of this.

Marinette buried her head deeper in her arms and quietly sobbed, ignoring Tikki's worried glances directed at the trapdoor above her.

This was a disaster. A great, terrible disaster. And the only one responsible for it had been herself.

Marinette could hear Lieutenant Raincomprix's booming voice, telling people to back off. She could hear her mother's voice, even louder than Monsieur Raincomprix's, telling them to buy something or leave.

A fake grin made its way onto Marinette's features.

At least the bakery wouldn't suffer from the reveal.

. O .

It was late morning when someone hesitantly knocked on her trapdoor. And it was Tikki who alerted Marinette to the incoming intruder.

"Honey? Can-Can we talk?", her mother's voice tentatively called up to her – and Marinette wound herself deeper into her blankets and sobbed. She hadn't slept a wink last night and when her mother had taken one look at the dark circles under her eyes and her ugly red cheeks this morning there were no questions asked before she was allowed to stay home.

"If you don't feel better by tomorrow, we should consider making a doctor's appointment!", Sabine had said and Marinette had been torn between snorting and sobbing because she wouldn't feel any better tomorrow but there wasn't anything a doctor could do unless they could erase memories.

Ha, maybe she should ask Hawkmoth for help! An Akuma in exchange for her Miraculous – that way she could at least salvage her private life!

"Marinette, can I come in? Please?", her mother asked again and Marinette shook her head. She knew her mother couldn't see the gesture, but Marinette felt herself unable to talk. Fear clogged her throat, fear that if she were to open up the dam would break and she'd be easy prey – and no one could afford an akumatized Ladybug right now.

They never could but-but especially not now. God, what would Chat Noir be thinking?!

"I'm worried, Marinette. Worried for you. Just-If there's anything Tom or I can do to help you, let me know? We can close up the bakery for today a-and tomorrow too, if you want us to!"

A beat of silence followed. Undoubtedly, her mother was hoping for an answer.

Marinette slipped deeper into her cushions.

"We're here for you, Marinette. But-But if you need more time, that's fine too! Just-talk to us? Eventually?"

Marinette bit her lip and let out yet another sob, as Tikki watched her with increasing worry. So far, they had gotten lucky and not Akuma had sought her out yet – but that could change anytime.

Marinette's phone dinged with another message received. Her shaking started picking up again. She knew Tikki wanted her to talk to her parents – hell, she wanted to talk to her parents herself! But she couldn't. She wasn't ready yet.

When her mother spoke up again, Marinette could hear the disappointment in her voice and it sent a whole new wave of guilt through her.

"Just-Just know that your father and I – we are very proud of you, Marinette. You can't even imagine how much."

. O .

It was late afternoon when Tikki broke the silence of Marinette's room.

"Marinette, you-you need to get up."

Her charge hadn't moved in hours and Tikki was getting worried. They needed to be able to move quickly – if it were to come to the worst case scenario, that was. Tikki supposed if they could get her earrings to her parents in time, they could get them to Chat who in turn could be Gentlebug for a fight – but would he be able to fight Marinette alone? Probably not. Maybe Marinette should take the box of the Miraculous with her, so her parents could hand that one over too and then…

"I don't want to get up, Tikki."

The Kwami flinched when she heard her charge speak up. She hadn't muttered a word ever since she had come back into her room this morning and Tikki was happy she at least seemed to get better – even though they were still a far cry from where she wanted to be.

But Marinette had to get up. The first step was for her to get up.

"You should take a shower, Marinette. I'm sure it will help!", Tikki exclaimed, trying her best to make her voice sound as positive and encouraging as she could. It seemed to have an effect too. Slowly, her charge turned her head to her, starring at her silently.

It was heartbreaking to see her eyes. They were red-rimmed and swollen but the worst was the expression of utter dread and hopelessness in them.

Babysteps. They were getting there.

"Come on! I know you always feel better after having taken a shower! Putting on fresh clothes and getting all the sweat from yesterday away from your skin will absolutely make you feel, feel - fresher! And then, everything will look much, much better already!"

Marinette kept starring at her. Tikki shifted uncomfortably. But then, finally, her charge averted her eyes and let out a sigh, before murmuring a barely audible "Alright".

And thus, Marinette got up, found herself a change of clothes, avoiding anything with red or black on it, before making her way to the bathroom. She could hear the noise of the bakery still – though it had calmed down. Most people had given up on trying to catch a glimpse of her and the countless of fans that had rallied in front of her home, had left for their own homes, to eat lunch or to continue their own lifes.

It was...relaxing. Not yet completely quiet, but normal.

It was nice.

Silently, Marinette entered the bathroom and she was vain enough to regret not having taken a shower earlier. Her face was red and swollen and her hair greasy and unkempt.

However, she wasn't vain enough to wash herself properly. Marinette halfheartedly splashed some water and shampoo on her hair and completely ignored anything. Instead, she simply let the water run down her body until she felt as if the heat had burned away all the dirt from before and she could almost imagine as if nothing had happened.

Then she got out of the shower and made her way back to her room, her body staying on autopilot the entire trek.

Tikki had been right. She did feel better.

She still didn't feel good though.

Marinette settled back into her throne made of pillows and covers and continued to stare at the opposite wall. She didn't even feel sad anymore. Just numb. She had successfully distanced herself from the memory enough to not fear an imminent akumatization anymore and instead of dealing with it, she was focusing all her energy on trying to ignore it.

It was a rather hard task if outside forces reminded one of it.

"Marinette? I-I heard you shower? Are you ok? Do you need help?"

Marinette didn't answer.

"Honey...Just-Promise me you'll come down today?"

Marinette still didn't answer.

But in her mind, she was saying "Yes".

. O .

Marinette had never been as fond of silence as she had been in those dark moments. She appreciated it that her parents were giving her space and that Tikki didn't pester her with inappropriate optimism and even that her friends had stopped messaging her.

She had hardly read any of the messages they had left her. She had most definitely not listened to any of their voice mails. She wondered if they had visited though. It hadn't sounded like it – surely her parents would have told her – and a part of Marinette – the one that was currently holding power, because if it didn't, Marinette wouldn't be this sobbing mess and she would have gone to school instead of missing even more classes – was mad at them for it.

She knew it was irrational. They had probably texted her, asked her if they should come over and had then seen her silence for what it was meant to be – a detergent. A sign telling them to back off. But she was still mad. It almost felt like they didn't care enough to try anyway and as much as Marinette despised herself for thinking like that, she hadn't been able to stop herself.

And now, she was welcoming the silence as it calmed her thoughts and she did not have to strain to try and catch a voice, trying to make out her friends in all the chaos.

But every silence was broken. And even though her entire being screamed, so loud that her thoughts were hurting, that this was wrong and that her mother should go, that she didn't want this, Marinette was thankful when she heard the tell-tale steps. They were heavier than usual and at first Marinette had thought her father had come up, but then her mother had spoken and Marinette couldn't help but wonder why her father hadn't talked to her yet.

Was he mad? He must have been mad. She would have been mad if she had been in this situation, but it wasn't fair, because what should she have-

"Honey, we closed the bakery up for today. I-I'm not sure if you wanted us to do that earlier, but you-you haven't said anything and we kind of figured your probably just wanted to be left alone, so...I-I'm sorry if you were just waiting for everyone to be gone."

Marinette didn't answer. She desperately wanted to, but a day of silence and her own stubbornness (and fear – her own fear) were stopping her. She was choking on the lump that all those feelings had formed in her throat and it felt as if she were suffocating.

"Do-Do you want to come downstairs? We can watch a movie if you want?"

Her mother deserved better than her silence. She was sweet and caring and oh so patient and all Marinette did was cower beneath a bunch of pillows, too afraid to face the world outside.

She could do better than this. She had to do better than this. She was Ladybug, for crying out loud!

Marinette's voice was hoarse when she spoke and her mother had most likely not heard it at all, but nonetheless, a quiet "No. Thanks." left her lips and Tikki couldn't have looked any prouder.

"I love you honey, ok? You don't need to be afraid of us. We-We're here to help you, if you just tell us what to do."

. O .

"Marinette? It's almost time for dinner and your dad and I wondered whether you want anything specific?"

Marinette lifted her head from whether it had been laying when she heard her mother's voice. She had gotten out of bed eventually, choosing to instead sit at her desk, trying to distract herself by designing.

After starring at her notebook for ten minutes straight, she had given up. Today just wasn't going to get any better.

"The shops are still open, there's still time to buy some groceries!"

Marinette shifted uncomfortably and turned her head, looking at the still closed trapdoor.

It looked wrong, closed like it was. It usually was, of course, but somehow, it looked all wrong today.

Marinette glanced at her fingers.

She was hungry. She hadn't eaten anything all day long – save the one cookie Tikki had forced her to ingest. But Marinette didn't want her mother to buy groceries. She didn't want her mother to change plans just because of her – She didn't want to be any bother at all.

"Do you not want to eat dinner, Marinette?"

She looked away from the trapdoor, instead choosing to stare at the white sheet of paper in front of her.

She was Ladybug. She could do this.

"No, mom. B-But thank you."

She didn't feel secure enough to say anything else. And even though her mother left without saying another word, she could hear Sabine's relief.

. O .

It was Tikki who came downstairs first. Marinette had fallen asleep – her twisting and turning and her occasional sobs broke the Kwami's heart all over again – and she knew they had to do something eventually. Marinette couldn't stay holed up in her room forever. Hawkmoth would strike eventually and they needed to be prepared.

And it'd be easier if she introduced herself to Marinette's parents first. If she answered all questions now, Marinette wouldn't have to do that later and could instead talk about the important stuff.

Amusingly, Tom's first reaction to Tikki was the same as his daughter's. And just like Marinette, after she had dodged the many, many pans that had been thrown at her, he calmed down enough for Tikki to talk.

"I'm a Kwami. I give Ladybug her powers. My name is Tikki and I eat cookies – yours are the best I've ever had, by the way!"

She was offered some by Sabine after she had told them. Marinette's mother stayed surprisingly calm throughout the explanation, holding her husbands hand to soothe his nervousness.

In fact "Will Marinette come down today?" was the first thing Sabine asked her and all Tikki could do was shrug, because she didn't know.

. O .

Marinette did come down eventually. In fact, she stumbled down the stairs, eyes wide and frantically searching for something.

Or someone.

The moment Marinette spotted Tikki sitting at the kitchen table she relaxed a bit, before tensing up once she realized her parents where there, too.

She hadn't wanted to leave her room. She wasn't ready yet. But Tikki had been missing and Marinette had panicked and in that moment, making sure that Tikki was alright and hadn't been snatched away from her was more important than making sure no one ever saw her again.

And now it was too late to revise that thought.

Marinette's shoulders slumped and she didn't dare to look her parents in the eyes. Already, she could feel the tears spring into her eyes.

Her parents would be so disappointed. She had lied to them time and time again, hadn't even told them about what she was doing. They had been worried about Ladybug already, but knowing she had been their daughter the entire time...They'd be mad. They-they'd ground her, for life!. A-And then she'd never be able to-to move out and-and study and be-become a famous fashion designer! A-And what would happen to Chat! They'd take her Miraculous and the box and then Chat wouldn't have a partner anymore and god knows what Hawkmoth would do to him and then he'd get the Miraculous' and turn his evil plan into reality and everyone would suffer just because she had...

"Marinette?"

Marinette didn't even know who had called her name. She didn't care. She hugged herself and it was the only thing stopping her from breaking down crying.

"Marinette, please look at me."

Warm hands engulfed her face and worried, Marinette glanced up, just to watch her mother smile at her, relieved.

"Honey, don't worry. We'll figure this out, alright?"

Marinette was too much of a coward to nod. Her legs were shaking. Would she be able to stand on her own?

"We'll have a nice dinner together and then we can talk about what to do, alright? Or-Or if you don't want to do that, we can talk about something else, your designs, school, your friends or nothing at all!"

Sabine stepped back a bit to look at her better and Marinette couldn't help but start sobbing. Her identity had been revealed. They were having this conversation because her identity had been revealed.

To all of Paris.

Her eyes started tearing up.

To all of Paris.

She started shaking harder.

All of Paris.

"Marinette?"

Her parents had to hate her. After all the secrets and lies and-and...

"Honey, it's fine. It really is. Don't worry..."

And then warmth engulfed her and Marinette felt herself pressed against her mother's chest. Sabine didn't even complain when she shamelessly cried into her shirt, simply holding her until she found her words again.

Her voice was barely audible and interrupted by countless sobs, but that didn't matter because her daughter was scared right now and that wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.

"A-Aren't you going to be-to be mad at me? B-Because I lied to you a-and snuck out at night and-and..."

"Oh, honey", her mother simply said, cradling her closer to her chest and leaning her cheek on her daughter's head. She melted at her daughter's voice and couldn't help but shiver. Whatever had given her daughter the idea that she was mad at her?

"There's always time for that later – right now, I just want you to know that you're safe and that you can trust us."

"A-And dad?"

Carefully, Marinette lifted her head from her mother's chest and looked at her from red-rimmed eyes. Was her father mad at her? She shifted uncomfortably, barely able to look at the tall man, who sat hunched over at the table, occasionally glancing at Tikki who was silently watching the pair.

When he heard his daughter say "dad" he lifted his head, a sad smile adorning his face.

This wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all. But he wasn't the only one fighting with something and his worries were so much smaller compared to hers.

He could hold in all the accusations and all his fears and worries for now. For her sake.

"It's fine darling."

Tom averted his gaze, letting it fall to the floor again, fidgeting with his fingers. It wasn't fine, but that didn't matter.

"I-I'm working through it. But I'm fine and right now – it's not me we have to worry about, alright?"

And then her father looked at her again and smiled at her and for the first time that day, Marinette was able to smile back.

Babysteps. But they were getting there.

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