Previously on The Young and Genetically Gifted…
Corran's family ties came unstrung during the war...
Jysella needed to be taught some lessons...
And
Kyp is being guided by the Force…
Though he doesn't seem to have fully caught on to what that means yet...
Season 3
Episode 8
Interlude, Part 3
When your world is full of strange arrangements
And gravity won't pull you through
You know you're missing out on something
Well that something depends on you
All I'm saying, it takes a lot to love you
All I'm doing, you know it's true
All I mean now, there's one thing, yes one thing
That turns this grey sky to blue
That's the look, that's the look
The look of love
When your girl has left you out on the pavement (goodbye)
Then your dreams fall apart at the seams
Your reason for living's your reason for leaving
Don't ask me what it means
Who's got the look?
I don't know the answer to that question
Where's the look? If I knew I would tell you
What's the look? Look for your information
Yes there's one thing, the one thing that still holds true
(What's that?)
That's the look, that's the look
The look of love
If you judge a book by the cover,
Then you'd judge the look by the lover
I hope you'll soon recover,
Me, I go from one extreme to another
And though my friends just might ask me
They say "Martin maybe one day you'll find true love"
I say "Maybe, there must be a solution
To the one thing, the one thing, we can't find"
That's the look, that's the look
The look of love
That's the look, that's the look
The look of love
The Look Of Love - Pt 1/Palmer, Fry, White, Singleton
Kyp Durron's Suite, Jedi Temple and Training Academy, Ossus
37 ABY
Seven Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War
Jysella stood, back straight, feet almost shoulder width apart, arms folded across her chest, in the center of Kyp's bedroom, wearing one of his absolute favorite expressions. He called this one 'You're an idiot if you think I don't know what you're trying to do', and it truly was a work of art; a wonder to behold. One of her best in fact, and with good reason; she had plenty of practice with it.
Once, during the worst fight they had in the first few months after Kyp had agreed to continue training her, he asked her how much time she spent in front of the 'fresher mirror working on her expressions. She had promptly burst into tears and refused to speak to him for three days, and he learned a valuable lesson; she was not doing it intentionally.
Kyp had been sure when he first met Jysella that the only emotion she was capable of feeling was rage. It wasn't until that fateful morning, well over a year ago now, when she had broken down and sobbed in his arms, that he realized just how wrong he'd been and began to look deeper. What he found was that the rage, broadcast clearly for any Force-sensitive within a kilometer to feel, was a mask put in place years earlier by a highly intelligent child, to cover the fear and pain she was suffering while the adults in her life were consumed with just keeping her alive. The tactics she intuitively employed to discourage interaction with those around her worked well, her desire to be left alone granted. And then, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and before anyone knew it, Jysella Horn, the delightful child, had morphed into Jysella Horn, the angriest fifteen year-old Force-adept any of the Masters on Ossus had ever seen.
So they gave her to Kyp.
It had been so long since anyone had been able to get past Jysella's anger that even she didn't realize what lousy control she had over her emotions; hence her inability to school her features. It was something that Kyp would eventually spend a lot of time working on with her. Unfortunately, despite the great strides she'd made in projecting calm and serenity to everyone else, once Kyp had made that initial breach of her defenses she never seemed to feel any need to block him again. At least it didn't seem like she did. He still got all Jysella, all the time…whether he wanted her or not.
Naming her arsenal of withering looks had become a hobby of his, a habit; a way to remind himself that they were, collectively, a defense mechanism, and that her inability to stop herself from giving them to him was a byproduct of the level of comfort their peculiar, yet now familiar, relationship gave her. He wouldn't go so far as to say that she didn't 'mean' the looks; right now, she really did feel that he was being an idiot… but the expression, and its corresponding feelings, were infinitely more complex than that, and after a tremendous amount of practice, discipline, and more meditating than he had ever done in his life, he had finally learned how to not take them personally. He had learned how to put them into perspective and dig deeper, get at the heart of what was really going on.
The reward for all his effort was that Jysella had learned to trust him, learned to listen; to his insights if not always to his orders. Learned to look at her own issues from a different point of view and had become willing to talk about what drove so much of her 'less appealing' behavior.
Now, Jysella took a deep breath and unfolded her arms. When her fingertips touched the hem of her shorts, she began to roll the fabric; something, Kyp had learned, she did when she was trying to hide anxiety, or stress, and asked, "Why are you insisting that I do these stupid reports? It's a waste of my time and I know you value yours too much to read them, so what's the point?"
Kyp chuckled while he grabbed two datanovels off his nightstand then walked back toward the duffle bag sitting at the foot of his bed. "Of course I'm not going to read them; in fact… I'm not even going to pretend to proofread them this time. You should be flattered by my confidence in your abilities instead of harassing me for making you do this in the first place." He saw her roll her eyes before he looked down to double check that he had indeed packed boxers and clean t-shirts, then looked back up at her. "And the point is that the Council wants the research done and you're good at it. It's important, and it will keep you occupied and out of trouble while I'm gone."
And by out of trouble he meant out of his files, not hacking into his dataterminal… again.
When Jysella had first mentioned Kyp's very unflattering nickname for her, he had been too ashamed of himself, and too uncomfortable with how hurt she was by it, to ask her how she'd even found out. It was some time later that he caught on to the fact that she was not only using her gift for program slicing to break into his suite; she'd also been reading his comm messages. It still took him a while to make the connection that she knew he had been referring to her as 'Sithella' because she had read a note he'd once sent Dex.
She didn't seem to have any great interest in his private correspondence anymore, thank the Force she had developed some maturity there, but she did have rather peculiar fascinations with starfighter and land speeder technical specs, horticulture, Jedi Council meeting minutes, and a holoseries called As Corellia Turns, if the files she hacked into and her holonet search history where anything to go by.
What she had no interest in however was mundane paperwork.
"You know I hate writing reports, and I know you're just using this as an excuse to get rid of me; you don't want me on this mission, and you need justification. Why don't you just be a man and say you need time away from me?"
"Now where would the fun be in that? I'd deprive myself of the joy of listening to one of your irrational tirades. What would my day be like if I didn't get to spend an hour with you following me around my own home insulting my manhood, my Force abilities, and my intelligence?" Kyp stopped and looked at Jysella, trying not to laugh, "What happened to you promising to listen to me and trusting that I'm not ditching you?"
She ignored his question. "Why is Valin going, he's not even Jacen's apprentice anymore."
Kyp's eyes fell closed as the last hour began to make a little more sense. He reached forward and put his hands on Jysella's shoulders, pulling her close enough to be able to lean his forehead into hers and then did laugh. He laughed harder when she pulled back and slugged him in the arm. He was ready for it of course, and only had to raise his elbow slightly to absorb some of the shock of impact.
His laugh became a soft smile and he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Jella, Valin's training and strengths have nothing to do with yours. You have to stop comparing yourself to him."
"And be the only one? No thanks."
She spun away from Kyp's grasp and headed out of the bedroom and into the study where her desk was situated. She slammed her data pad into her bag and began gathering up the datacards she had been working on. Kyp followed at a slow pace, hoping that her march across his apartment would cool her off just the slightest little bit. But when she looked up at him, none of the anger was gone, though sadness and hurt were added to her expression.
"Fine, you boys go off and have a great time on this 'mission'. I'll just hang out here since I'm not good enough to go along. I can understand, really, there's always an added risk with me on an assignment; I might accidentally harm someone, or go Dark and do it on purpose. Or are you three just going to chase women for a week?"
"Stop it," he sighed.
"Why?"
"Oh for kriff sake Jysella, enough with the drama. They only need two of us on this mission. I don't know why Jacen is taking your brother. Again, my decision to have you stay here has absolutely nothing to do with your skills. I actually do need those reports done." He shook his head in frustration, and thought about continuing, but what was the point? She was in a snit and she'd get over it eventually regardless of what he said. He hoped.
He had started back for his room to finish packing when her voice, suddenly very quiet and lacking the confidence it usually held, broke the silence and stopped him dead in his tracks.
"I hate it when you go out with Jacen."
He turned to see that she had come back around her desk, and was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and was again rolling the fabric of her shorts between her thumb and forefinger, only now she was working the material slightly harder and faster, and was sporting a look that he didn't have a name for, in fact, wasn't sure he'd ever seen. And then he began to sense her anxiety and fright, and with the slightest amount of probing, he was immediately able to feel some of what was going on inside her; her worry that he wouldn't come back, that she would lose the one person who understood and accepted her the way he did, fear that she'd never find love, and her dread of having to face a lifetime of loneliness without Kyp there to help her through it.
He barely had time to process all of this when she spoke again, some of the steel back in her voice, and along with it, impatience. "You two always get into trouble. No matter how simple a mission is supposed to be, you find a way to screw it up and make it dangerous. The extraction teams should be put on high alert when you're in the same wing of the Temple and you'd think that the Council would realize that and put a ban on you travelling together. Who's the brain trust that suggested you two go out again anyway? Clearly not anyone who actually cares whether you make it back alive."
She hesitated for a second, clearly picking up on the flash of embarrassment he felt when she said that last part.
"Oh my kriffing stars! You suggested this?" She shook her head in amazement. "And you're taking Valin?" She threw her hands in the air in clear exasperation. "Well, that makes it all better. He's always so alert to trouble, as long as trouble is wearing a really short skirt, a tight top, and is holding a fresh, cold ale out to him."
Jysella grabbed her cloak and bag off the desk and stalked out into the sitting room, then turned and pointed a finger at Kyp, clearly not realizing that he was right behind her, but not allowing the fact that he was now less than a meter away to stop her rant, or change her volume.
"I should comm Dex… I'm sure he'll be up for a wager on how many hours it will be until you're in Bacta again… and another one on how long you'll be in it. I'll comm the Fel brothers while I'm at it, they'll want in on what part of your body sustains the most damage. And then we can start the betting on Master Solo and my dumbass brother."
Brief moment of embarrassment or no, Kyp was floored. Just when he thought he knew what all of her issues were, just when he thought he was aware of all the different ways he could trace a temper tantrum back to the emotions behind it, Kyp identified a new ingredient in the stew that was Jysella Horn's psyche. Never had it crossed his mind that concern for him could inspire this kind of response. Although, after three years together, after all the effort and care he had put into breaking her down so that he could help her build herself back up, why was this surprising him? He had been her only constant in life.
Kyp scrubbed a hand over his face. This was going to require thought and care; he needed to figure out a way to calm her down without ticking her off even more than she already was. She depended on him in ways he had never imagined another person would depend on him. Needed him in ways he had never imagined he could be capable of fulfilling, and he didn't always have a lot of wiggle room for mistakes because she was so fragile under the thin layer of duracrete she tried to pretend she was made out of. If he screwed up, and then went off-world before he'd had a chance to straighten everything out, a seeming impossibility with less than an hour to go before he was supposed to meet Jacen and Valin, then she'd wreak havoc on his apartment, data system, comm units… and if he came home before she had a chance to straighten out all her own sabotage… the only thing in the galaxy worse than an angry Jysella Horn was a guilt-ridden Jysella Horn.
He needed to break this down, fast. What was she really saying? What was really upsetting her? This wasn't just the normal 'fear of being left' stuff, she had learned to control that well enough. It wasn't just her issues of inferiority as it related to Valin. She'd gotten a decent handle on that when she began to consistently beat, or come close to beating him, in lightsaber duels and starfighter simulations. This was about him. About his tendency to get into trouble with Jacen; she was scared because they were going out together. How ironic that with all the things he had managed to impart to her, proper Jedi detachment didn't seem to be one of them; at least not as it related to him.
"Okay, Jel, I get it… Jacen and I can't be trusted to keep ourselves safe. What else is going on?"
Her shoulders lowered slightly, but not much. "Does there need to be anything else?"
"Jel…"
She calmed herself enough to say, "Look, I'm better with software and data systems then all three of you combined, if you're worried about ballot rigging, which clearly you are because why else would the Council send two Masters to oversee this, it will help to have someone along who can spot that sort of thing."
"Jella…"
"And if you get into trouble…"
"Jysella! You're not going with me."
"I can write the reports when we get back from Atzerri!"
But he needed those reports written now, and he sure as hell didn't want to write them himself. She had to learn to take an order and just do it. No, she was not going with him; he was not going to cave.
Kyp held her gaze; tried not to give anything away. If she thought she had made any headway, she'd dig her hooks in and they'd be locked in a battle of wills until one of them came out the clear victor. He hated it when he let this happen. He knew all her tricks, but had so far failed miserably in being able to defend against them. He tried to ignore the look in her big, hazel eyes. It wasn't pleading, but rather an even, steady look of desire. She would never beg, that wasn't her style, but she would certainly spend every minute she was given, or could take, arguing her point, from any angle she could think of, until she had exhausted all avenues, or exhausted him, always delivering her strongest argument succinctly, reasonably, in a clear, modulated tone.
Like the one she was using now. "You and I are a good team, we know each other's strengths and weaknesses better than you know Valin's or Jacen's, or they know yours."
He blinked his eyes and sighed. One day, he was going to have to stop indulging her, stop giving in to her, put his foot down and keep it there, learn to give her an order and not allow her to talk him out of it, or into changing it.
Especially since she wasn't above using guilt.
"And like I said… I don't like it when you go out with Jacen. It scares me."
One day he was going to have to be that Master, but it obviously wasn't going to be today.
"Be packed and back here in fifteen minutes."
Her face lit up with an expression that was part relief, part gratitude, part excitement, and part… something he could never quite define, but felt certain he would figure out one day. That was why he indulged her, that was why he put up with all the other looks, to every now and then be graced with this one.
Jysella threw her arms around his neck in a quick hug, and then kissed his cheek before turning and racing for the door.
Just as she started to wave at the sensor, Kyp added, "Send each of your parents a message telling them you're going with me. Your dad thinks I'm leaving you here, I don't want them freaking out if they can't find you. And no comments about how they wouldn't care either way, I don't have the time or the energy to have that debate with you right now."
She turned back to him and smiled slightly, then nodded. "Thank you, Kyp. You won't regret taking me, I promise."
"How could I ever?" he sighed. "And we're going to Aleen, not Atzerri, just in case that affects your packing."
He was mildly surprised that she didn't know that, and as the thought finished its brief trip through his brain, he registered that Jysella had stopped in the threshold and turned back to face him, keeping the door open with her palm against the frame. She was looking at her feet, and when she raised her head and met his gaze, there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Yeah…" she began slowly, "but Atzerri isn't far from Aleen… and there's an aeronautics show that starts this week... Crinar's Ale House is sponsoring it, there've been ads all over the Holonet. Anyway, I thought maybe we could swing by and take a look at the prototypes for the new Zifglieg 56TJ speeder… there was a big story on the news a few days ago… about the modified speed capabilities…" Jysella let the words trail off, and bit her lower lip.
Ah… his little adrenaline junkie wanted to see the fastest speeders designed since the end of the war. He wasn't even going to attempt to argue with that. Who was he to deny her that kind of thrill? He wouldn't even put up much resistance when she tried to talk him into using the Force to get someone to give them permission to take one of the prototypes out for a test-drive.
"Go, Jel, pack. We're supposed to meet Jacen in the hangar in twenty minutes."
She gave him that look again, her face alight with pleasure and excitement, then turned and dashed away
He laughed and shook his head as he made his way to the cooling unit and pulled out a bottle of juice, thinking about his luck. Jysella wanted to spend a few days working really hard, watching his back, and then ditch report writing to unwind by drinking ales at a speeder show, marveling at the machinery.
She just might be the perfect woman…
The thought jarred him so completely that he spent the next several seconds trying desperately to expel all the fluid he'd inhaled.
Apprentice… the perfect apprentice…
Next time on Fear and Love…
Kyp and Jysella nurture a beautiful bond...