Tempie
XXX
Chapter 2
Tony Two
XXXWhen the elevator doors opened again, McGee was met with the faces of Abby and Ducky.
"McGee!" Abby exclaimed.
"Um…Abby…" he forced a smile and silently wondered why they continued to stand there in his way.
"Jethro paged Abby. He wanted us to catch you, and take you back upstairs," Ducky informed him. His shoulders slumped. Of course he did.
"But…I…" he had no believable excuse to stay down there.
"We heard you were looking at naked people, McGee. We want to help you," Abby patted his shoulder with a concerned look.
"And Jethro has an announcement to make that concerns all of us. Which is why I'm curious to know as to where Mr. Palmer has gone to." He checked down both hallways for his assistant.
The elevator doors closed around McGee's shoulders and then hastily re-opened after noticing something was in the way. "AAHH!" he jumped backwards into the car. This was his chance. He leaped for the button pad and pushed the 'close' button rapidly over and over.
"Ah, Mr. Palmer. There you are! Come on now, hurry up!"
Abby stepped into the car, helping McGee away from the buttons, whispering reassurances into his ear.
"It was Tony's computer! He's the one that needs help!" he waved his arms around, trying to scare her away.
"The first step to overcoming an addiction, is to admit you have a problem, Timothy," Ducky smiled and pulled his assistant into the elevator after him.
"What's wrong?" Jimmy asked skittishly. Knowing this particular team, he was sure that probably didn't want to know.
"It seems young Timothy has a rather surprising infatuation with pornography."
Jimmy felt a jolt of shock run up his spine. He really didn't need to know. "Well…I can't say that I'm surprised."
The other three turned and gave him looks that ranged from confusion to anger.
"I mean because…I never see you with women…and you do hang around Tony a lot. He must have rubbed it off on you."
McGee tried to take the comment like Jimmy was on his side. It's Tony's fault. Always Tony. But the part about him never dating…that was just insulting. "I date!" He wasn't sure if he believed himself, so he didn't really expect the rest of them to.
"How long has this been a problem for you?" Ducky inquired, pushing one of the buttons on the panel.
About thirty minutes! McGee thought to himself. This was starting to sound like a really bad after school special. "Will you just say I'm in denial if I try and explain it to you?" The doors closed, and he felt his last window of opportunity for freedom follow suit.
"What, that you were on Tony's computer, so…the pictures just happened to open themselves?" Abby gave him a sympathetic smile and cocked her head.
"Yeah!" McGee yelped.
"Then I'm afraid the answer to your previous question would be 'yes'," Ducky shrugged.
McGee put his face in his hands. This was bound to be a very long day.
The elevator stopped one level too soon. McGee parted his middle and ring fingers for his left eye as the doors opened. Ziva stood outside, holding a tray with three venti coffees.
"Good morning!" Ducky greeted her.
"Ducky," she smiled and stepped in, frowning at McGee.
He slowly pulled his hands down in an attempt to look half normal. "Who are those for?" he needed a caffeine jerk.
"Gibbs."
"And?"
"Gibbs. They're all for him." She narrowed her eyes, "You really should only adapt one addiction at a time, McGee."
Abby snickered.
"Did Tony tell you!" the familiar rush of blood to his face was suddenly renewed.
"No."
"Gibbs?"
She grinned excessively and continued to shake her head.
McGee wracked his brain. "The director? A Mediterranean woman?" he begged all the Gods that Ziva would say yes.
"I heard about it from Jackson as I came in." His stomach sank. "He said he'd never guess you liked that type of it either."
Good news sure travels fast around here!
"There's more than one type?" Jimmy pondered out loud.
"Oh yes," Ducky nodded, "Anything from—"
"If you say any more, we're going to have to assume you have a problem too," Abby interjected as quickly as possible.
The doors finally re-opened. McGee pushed everyone out of his way and jumped out. He needed to find a large vat of poison and drink it fast before something much slower and more painful claimed his very messed up life.
Tony stepped in front of the doors just in time to grab Ziva as she fell out on account of McGee's insane behaviour.
"Nice catch." Ziva stood up, giggling at Tony, who was now wearing one of the coffees. He ground his teeth together and dropped the empty cup on the floor. "That's really hot!"
The rest of the team stepped out of the elevator. They all seemed to gawk simultaneously. "What happened to you?" Abby squeaked.
"I always look like this. This is normal. A regular outfit. Why does everyone maintain the fact that something happened to me!"
"Because the cut on your face just opened," Ziva pointed out.
"Crap!" he spun around and ran back to his desk in search of a Kleenex.
They were suddenly all distracted. Now was McGee's chance to make a fast getaway out of a nearby window!
"Hey!" Gibbs shouted at all of them, "Quit standing around and get over here!"
"We're coming, Gibbs! C'mon, McGee." Abby took a step towards McGee, who was shaking all over.
"Never!" he leaped away, but tripped over his own foot instead.
"That was graceful," Ziva would have clapped if her hands were free.
Abby shook her head and trudged over to where McGee lay, defeated. She lifted one of his legs and started to drag him to the bullpen.
"Hey!"
Ziva, Ducky, and Jimmy all made their way over to Gibbs and his incessant and annoying beckoning.
"I thought I said three, David," Gibbs growled, noticing (what he saw as) the half empty tray.
"If you want the third one, you're going to have to suck it out of Tony's sweater," she pointed over to him. Gibbs followed her finger to Tony's light blue turtleneck that had a large damp brown splotch down the front.
"It also happened to be the one article of clothing that wasn't completely ruined when I…er…fell."
"Stop it!"
"What's Probie whining about now?" Tony dabbed his face with the singular Kleenex he found in one of his desk drawers.
"Abby's torturing and doing other demeaning things to him," Ziva yawned.
"What!" Tony dropped the bloody tissue on his desk and jogged around the corner to where Abby was hunched over McGee. "Abby! What did I say about torturing and doing other mean things in general to McGee, here?"
Abby straightened out and dropped McGee's leg. He was panting heavily and started to crawl away pathetically. "Umm…" she put her foot on his back to stop him. He buckled under the weight and finally decided to accept his fate.
"Always include me!" Tony stomped his foot like a five year old who had just been denied a cookie.
"Oh. Right. Sorry."
"If you'd all act like civilized people…let alone federal agents, I have some important news for you," Gibbs chugged back a quarter of his first coffee.
"With all due respect, Gibbs, I'm not a federal agent…so…do I still have to act like one?" Abby smiled sweetly.
Because she was Abby, he ignored the comment. "The director—DiNozzo, for the love of caffeine, listen to me!"
"Sorry, Boss." He tugged on McGee's collar, forcing him to stand. "We're listening."
"Anyway…Director Shepard has just informed me that we will be receiving a temporary agent to be part of our team."
"Cool!" Abby bounced in place.
"Tony Moreno."
"His name's 'Tony'?" Tony grinned, "He must be extremely talented and intelligent with a killer bod and impossibly good looks!"
"Are you listing things you don't have?"
"You're a riot, Ziva."
"As punishment."
"What was that?" Ziva sneered.
"This temp has been a real hard ass for his team…he's got a mean temper," Gibbs groaned, "He apparently shot his partner in the leg on purpose for some unnecessary reason."
"I meant…why are we being punished?"
"Well, because of Porno over here, and because some of us don't know how to come in to work properly dressed." Everyone turned and glared at Tony.
Tony glared back. "I FELL!"
"And for other not-so-recent occasions as well that I don't really feel like venturing into," he rolled his eyes. "We're supposed to straighten him out. He's being chastised too."
"Being apart of your team isn't punishment!" McGee exclaimed.
"Shut up, Probie."
XXX