A/N: Yay thanks to my three reviewers!!!!
KittKatMcNamara: Hahahhahhahaha I really think that Shomari and Kaleem (is that his name?) should have won. He was such a good dancer! But you're right, Murch and Ethan almost kissing was something I'll always remember. LMFAO!
LiLiLuLaByE-13: No, I wasn't high, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! Your review was so nice! Thanks so much! I had a dream last night that I saw everyone at camp and you and Sharon were talking to each other in Italian! It was funny. I like your story even though Lucius might be a bit old haha. But I love anything with Draco in it ;)
Satan Barbie: Yay! I feel like you haven't reviewed me in ages! Haha. Anyway, thanks so much for the review. The story was supposed to be weird :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Draco Malfoy or any of the character's from Harry Potter, nor do I own any of the characters from American Dreams or anything I mention having to do with pop culture from any time period or Buffy Summers.
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Draco's Nighttime Adventure000
Draco was sitting on one of the many leather couches in the Malfoy Manor examining his hand. For some reason he only had four fingers on his left hand. Huh.
"Can I help you?"
Draco looked up. He suddenly had gotten very cold. He looked at his hands. He had five fingers on each one but now they had gloves on them. Weird.
"Excuse me? Sir?"
He was standing at someone's front door. There was a girl talking to him and wearing weird Muggle clothing. Weirder.
"I'm looking for Meg Pryor," he said. Who's Meg Pryor? He didn't even know. But he knew he had to find her. Whoever she was.
"Oh, um, that's me," said the girl standing inside. Her hair had too much hairspray in it.
"Well, I'm looking for you."
"Okay..." She looked very confused. She was turning red. Almost as red as the Weasel.
Draco sighed. "Well, can I come in?"
"Who are you?"
"Draco Malfoy."
She looked even more confused. Well, obviously. What in hell kind of name was "Draco Malfoy"?
"Is everything alright, Meg?"
A guy stepped into the doorway carrying a baby and wearing some weird, official-looking Muggle uniform of some sort. If Draco was ever going to have a gay moment ever in his life, he decided it would be now. This guy was hot.
"I need to find Meg Pryor. From East Catholic." He really needed to find this girl. It was important-
"Well this-"
"It's an important message from the king."
"The king!"
Instantly the two from inside the house bent low to the ground, the man somehow finding the ability to bend over while wearing an odd contraption on his leg and not crushing the baby.
"I can't... I can't seem to remember what he wanted me to tell you... But it was important. And he really wanted me to find Meg Pryor. From East Catholic."
The girl- Meg- started whimpering into the ground.
"He knows, he knows!" she sobbed. "He knows about Chris and- and the recruiting center! He knows!"
"No, I don't think that was it-" Draco tried to say.
"He knows!" she cried.
The man sat up, still holding the baby. "He knows what? What happened at the recruiting center, Meg? WHAT HAPPENED?!"
Suddenly someone ran by Draco so quickly that he knocked him over. It was another man who looked older than the one with the baby, but he was wearing a uniform similar to the baby-carrier's, only the color was different and there were different symbols on it. He pulled Meg off the ground.
"I knew it! Muhuhahahahaha! I knew you were at the recruiting center; not Roxanne's house! HA! HA! HA! I told this man to tell you there was an important message from the king so that you would confess that YOU and CHRIS were at the recruiting center when it burned down!" the second man in uniform cried.
"DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING, MEG! DON'T TELL HIM! DON'T TELL HIM! DON'T TELL HIM! DON'T TELL HIM!" Another man- this one looking about Meg's age- had appeared in the kitchen and run into the hallway, panting and screaming.
By now Meg was bawling her eyes out. "It's too late! It's too late!" she was sobbing. The third man ran to comfort her and hugged her, as the two men in uniform looked at them with cold eyes.
A girl descended the steps, wearing a fluffy and flowing white dress. "I'm ready, JJ," she announced.
"Beth, you look... beautiful," replied the man with the baby, almost breathless.
The girl in the wedding dress- Beth, was her name?- looked at Draco, smiling and handing him a pillow with two rings on it. "Are you ready, Draco?" she questioned.
"What?" Draco gasped. "I'm just a messenger for the king!"
"That was a lie, Draco, a lie," Beth said soothingly. The room melted from the Pryor house to a church. "Uncle Pete was tricking you; it was a lie, a lie."
"Here comes the bride" was now filling the room. Beth and JJ were standing at the front of the church, smiling at each other. The rest of the people gazed at Draco expectantly. He was confused. What was he supposed to do? He walked up the aisle quickly and handed Beth the pillow. "Here's your pillow, Beth," he said quietly. "I-I'm not sure what to do... with it... I'm sorry to let you down."
She looked at him with kinky fire in her eyes before making out with JJ very intensely. Their lip smacking was so loud that the priest's announcing of man and wife was barely audible. Then came the waterworks from Meg, a woman with fake eyelashes and too much eye shadow on, a girl with dark brown hair and a large nose, and even a short man with a huge nose. And then the rest of the room joined in. Including the second man in uniform, who he inferred was "Uncle Pete".
The church melted from view and he found himself still bundled up in his winter Muggle clothing even though he was now standing in the middle of the Slytherin common room.
"Come here, tiger," someone said from off to his far right. He spun around; it was Pansy. She growled at him. She was wearing his cloak open, with nothing on but lacy underwear beneath it.
His heart sped up.
"How about over here?"
Exactly across from Pansy was Hermione, standing in her own outfit in front of another door.
"What about here?"
Ginny Weasley was directly behind him-
"Come over here, Drackie-baby."
Cho Chang was across from him-
"Here-"
Millicent Bulstrode-
"Look this way-"
Angelina Johnson-
"Right over-"
Katie Bell-
"Or what about-"
Suddenly the room exploded in a million pieces of bright white light. A bra landed on his head and he found himself sitting on a small bed in a small room. There was a girl on a bed next to his, eating an apple and looking at a box containing lots of little people.
She bit into the apple and suddenly he felt a little-
The girl dropped the apple into a trashcan and suddenly the room was black. Nothing could be seen. He felt her breath on his face and soon he could taste the apple in his own mouth. It was delicious.
"Who are you?" he managed to ask.
"Buffy. The Vampire Slayer."
"The what?"
"Don't play dumb with me, Malfoy. Anyway, we shouldn't be doing this. It isn't right." She sounded a bit too calm to be concerned.
"O-okay."
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He sat up in his bed, panting. It was a dream. A very odd one, but then a very good one. If only he was in that room full of girls again...
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A/N: The end! Hahahaha. I enjoyed writing it. I have a new obsession with American Dreams, so that's why I put that stuff in. And I've always liked to write about Draco kissing people or getting horny. It's just so funny :) Please review! Thanks so much!