oOoOo
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Forget me not (because I will)
Time heals all wounds, but it doesn't rid you from the infection.
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oOoOo
The Akuma in question was yet another version of Lila.
Marinette should have known – Lila hadn't been in class after all – but Marinette had been too busy on not stressing out too much to pay much attention to the back of their class.
Maybe their short conversation had affected her more than she liked to admit.
This time, Lila called herself the "Manager". Her power was to make everyone accept whatever deal was offered them – and her purpose quite straightforward. Hit either Chat Noir or Ladybug with a beam from her phone – which undoubtedly held the Akuma – and force them to hand over their Miraculous. Easy and simple and by far less complicated than most of her other abilities – honestly, what even had Chameleon been?
It had been a weird power set for Lila to have, of course. Especially considering what had most likely caused her akumatization in the first place, but Marinette hadn't thought too much of that either. She had needed to evade beam after beam after all, all the while trying to convince Chat Noir that school was okay. He had been against her going back to school so soon already and had had a hard time believing that she was fine.
It had almost sounded as if he had been there, but Marinette pointedly ignored that piece of information.
Chat had backed off eventually and they defeating "the Agent" afterwards had been a piece of cake.
The aftermath hadn't been, though.
"Ladybug! Ladybug, stay!"
It had been a trend, she had noticed the past few battles. People wanted to watch her de-transform. Now that everyone already knew who she was anyway, people seemingly cared a whole lot less about her boundaries – the first time, it had been like being thrown into ice-cold water.
She was Paris' heroine. People had adored her – but no one seemed to care, now that the mask had come off.
Not even a broadcast by the mayor himself had stopped them from hunting her down.
"Ladybug, why did it take you so long to defeat this Akuma?"
Perhaps Marinette should be scared and panicking right now – she was desperately trying to get away from the mob after all, wanting some peace and quiet – but she was mad instead.
Some Akuma battles were easier. Some were more difficult – but they were never fun. They were never fun and the least people could do respect her goddamn boundaries.
She was fuming and shaking from anger, she knew that, and hadn't she defeated Lila just a few minutes she might have been scared to get akumatized herself – but as it was, she didn't have to worry about that either.
It was refreshing, for once. Allowing herself to be mad.
"Ladybug, why haven't you caught Hawkmoth yet?!"
She didn't want to deal with a million questions that had been asked already. She didn't want to deal with this new "Normal" that forced her to accept people knew her name.
Maybe she wasn't just shaking from anger.
"Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, do you believe Hawkmoth may have a point?"
They weren't supposed to know her name. They weren't supposed to recognize her face, but they did and Marinette hated it and why was she shaking, she shouldn't be shaking she shouldn't be scared!
"There are rumors going around..." "Don't leave!" "...some say that..." "Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, is it true that..."
It never stopped. It just never did, all those questions, all those questions that were exactly the same and-
And then, suddenly, a "Don't worry, Marinette!" was whispered into her ear.
And someone yanked her aside.
Marinette's first reaction was to scream, then she tripped and then her fight instincts took hold and she tried to kick whoever was looming over her.
He evaded. But she had bought herself enough time to look up and...
"A-Adrien?"
A blonde mop of hair was messily arranged in something resembling his usual hairstyle – it quite reminded her of Chat Noir, if Marinette was honest – and a worried expression made wrinkles appear all over his face.
Marinette was quite possibly stunned.
She didn't get much time to be stunned, though.
"Yes! God, Marinette, you had me so worried! We couldn't find you after the latest Akuma and-and...What happened?"
He held out a hand for her to take – and she did, with a heart beating in her chest and one ear concentrating on the ever nearing crowd.
Adrien frown deepened at the sound.
"Oh, right! Follow me, I know a way out – I'm an expert in sneaking around, after all, one could say!"
He beamed at her and then smiled conspiratorial – and Marinette could feel her blush intensify even more, before she nodded.
"That'd be great", she said and Adrien, without letting go off her hand, lead her through a bunch of hallways, until he found one of the art rooms.
"There's a window here that leads to the roof, that everyone keeps forgetting about – we should be safe there, for the time being."
Marinette didn't question how he knew that piece of information. Instead she simply followed him as he pushed a few things away from a hidden window and beckoned her to climb through it, before carefully hiding said window behind a large painting.
And then they walked up a pair of stairs and ended up on the deserted roof.
Not a single student had been standing on the schoolyard down below and at first, Marinette was confused as to why – but of course. Class had started already – she had completely lost track of time.
No wonder Adrien had been so worried about her.
Silently, he lead her over to a few benches and then he stopped and-and he was beaming at her, brighter than the sun and she started blushing again and
"So much for being over him", she thought – before saying.
"Uh, thanks for helping me out?"
She was smiling shyly and blushing again. And Adrien gave her his ever radiant, real smile in return that blinded her and stole her breath and almost drove tears into her eyes.
"Of course! Anything for you!", he exclaimed, stepping closer and snatching her hands – starring right into her eyes.
It almost felt as if he was trying to say something. But Marinette was too distracted to pay much attention.
He had gorgeous eyes.
He really had.
Marinette was, quite literally, star-struck and after a few minutes of her not saying anything, Adrien started to become worried.
"Do you – want to stay here and rest?", he asked, watching her sympathetically and Marinette hated it because she didn't want his pity. For all the times she had desperately tried to get his attention, she had never wanted his pity.
But it felt nice nonetheless. Warm and fuzzy and soft and she could feel her shoulders relax.
"That'd be nice", she whispered.
She only stood for a few more seconds before collapsing into the bench. It only took a few seconds for Adrien to slide over and to put a comforting arm around her.
It felt nice. She was blushing again. But his arm felt nice and she was tired and already, she could feel her eyes slip closed-
They knew her name. They knew Ladybug's name.
And they shouldn't.
Marinette awoke half an hour later, Adrien still holding her, peacefully resting next to her.
She didn't dare to wake him. And really – school was almost over anyway, so would a few seconds more really hurt?
.o.O.o.
Marinette didn't make it back to class that day – not for the lesson, anyway. Just before the bell rang, they made it back to the classroom to apologize to Madame Bustier, who smiled sympathetically.
"I've heard what happens – Monsieur Damocles has reprimanded the students responsible and, hopefully, they won't bother you anymore."
Then she excused both of them and Adrien and Marinette took their leave.
Their way to the stairs had been awkward. Marinette hadn't been sure what to say and Adrien was making weird jokes all the way until they had to see each other off.
It had almost felt as if he were trying to flirt.
Marinette didn't want him to flirt with her. Anytime but now. Anytime but now she would have blushed and stammered and then called Alya to tell her all about this latest development.
Today it was nothing but awkward.
But nothing beat the awkwardness that engulfed her when she met up with Kagami that day. They had had their juice meeting once again and-
It almost felt as if Kagami was analyzing her. Which wouldn't be all too strange, considering everything.
"It's great to see you again, Marinette. I am glad to find you are in good health", she eventually said.
It made Marinette smile. And it successfully broke the ice. Things between them had been a tad awkward ever since the picnic at the Seine – but Marinette was glad they remained friends. Kagami could be awkward and weird, but she was great, too – she had made an amazing Ryuko! – and Marinette didn't want to lose anymore than she already had.
"I'm glad, too. For you! I mean, to see you in good health! I'm glad your mother let you meet me and – uh, thank you for letting us use your garden?"
They hadn't met at their usual meetup spot – Kagami had pointed out that they'd never be left alone if they did and instead suggested they met at her place – she could buy the juice for them and they could enjoy it in her family's gardens.
It had been an amazing idea.
Kagami's place war drop-dead gorgeous and the inner designer in Marinette squealed in glee when Kagami asked her whether she wanted to be shown around the house later.
But not right now. Right now, they were drinking juice and talking and doing everything friends usually did – Marinette took a few jabs at Kagami, Kagami proudly pointed out that she had gotten much better at detecting playful banter and sarcasm and together they took great fun in talking about the newest Jagged Stone single that had been released.
Until all of that – faded away, for a few, tense moments.
"They're all supportive!", Marinette exclaimed, excitedly waving her hands:"I-I couldn't have better friends than you guys! Just yesterday Adrien..."
And she trailed off.
Bit her lip.
Adrien.
She shouldn't have brought him up and from the way Kagami's gaze hardened, she agreed with that sentiment.
"You-You're dating, aren't you?", Marinette dared to ask, if just to break the silence that had suddenly blanketed itself all around them. She took another slow sip from her juice, eyes trailing the flight of a sparrow.
Kagami took her time to answer.
"I don't know. Adrien – he's still hesitant. I thought we were going strong, but then..."
Kagami trailed off, her gaze dodging Marinette's in a rare display of-of shyness.
"But then?", Marinette asked, unsure of herself. Kagami was never shy – her whole being screamed boldness and determination. She always was so sure of herself, so confident.
It was why Marinette admired her so much!
"Your identity got revealed to the public. And it just – stopped."
Kagami took another sip from her orange juice – but it hardly hid the emotions visible in her eyes.
She was hurt. She was terribly hurt and Marinette couldn't help but let out an embarrassed chuckle, because surely, she couldn't insinuate that-
"He doesn't think of me that way, Kagami. You know that – I'm just a friend and he barely knows Ladybug!", she exclaimed, willing down the unwanted blush sprouting on her cheeks.
"I-I'm sure he's just shy! You know what Adrien's like! I'm sure, if you were to tell him, you'll be able to solve this-this mess!"
Marinette tried her best to smile. It may hurt – but it was the right thing to say.
But Kagami didn't seem to believe a single word she said.
"You don't pay enough attention."
Her tone was neither scolding nor amused – but cold and calculated, as if she were merely pointing out.
"He looks at you all the time and his eyes get soft whenever he does. He's clearly in love with you, Marinette."
Kagami grabbed her juice and took another sip, expression unreadable – Marinette deflated.
"Oh."
She snatched her juice as well, mirroring the Japanese's actions.
"I-I'm sorry."
She was. She-She had tried to move on! She had moved on! She had tried to shake her shot and chickened out and Kagami deserved to be happy.
And so did Adrien!
She hadn't wanted to come in between them. Ever. She had been happy, even!
And, most importantly – she didn't want to lose Kagami's friendship. She was important to her, she cared so much and-she was bound to be mad. Bound to scold her and tell her how disappointed she was that Marinette would do something like this, that she'd betray her like this – but Kagami said none of that.
Instead her eyes softened – and then she reached out for her hand.
"No matter what happens, Marinette", she said:"You are my friend. If Adrien decides he likes you more – I will accept defeat and move on, the way you were ready to do the same for me."
And she smiled – that weird, fake smile and Marinette tried to swallow the queasy feeling in her stomach, because – for all the time she had wanted his attention, this-
It felt wrong. It felt so, so wrong.
.o.O.o.
The next day at school was confusing. Marinette had directly teleported into her classroom again – at least the one positive thing she had gotten out of the ordeal was that she was never late for class – and she was one of the first to arrive.
She didn't like transforming in front of people.
She was one of the first again – only Nathaniel, Chloé and Sabrina were there yet, and none of them paid her much attention when she arrived, Nataniel too engrossed in his current drawing and Chloé making a point out of ignoring any superhero stuff she encountered.
But eventually, the room filled up – and, for some reason, all the girls seemed to be rather tense today. Alya shied away whenever Marinette tried to ask what was going on and she felt as if people were watching her very move, even more so than usual.
And then the girls came over. One by one and Marinette raised her eyebrow in question.
Something was off. Suspiciously off. It wasn't the first time the girls had formed a semicircle around her desk – far from it – but she couldn't imagine any reason for them to be doing that now – especially with such grave expressions that they were spotting.
Rose was the first to speak.
"You-You should apologize!", she squeaked, her shoulders pulled up to her ears as if she were trying to hide.
"You should apologize to Lila for what you said!"
Oh. So that was what this was about.
The other girls around Rose murmured in agreement´- though Alya refused to meet her eyes and was biting her lips.
"I know everything is super stressful for you right now – but Lila was just trying to be nice! We know how much you admire Jagged Stone – all Lila was trying to do was to give you some pleasant news!"
Marinette frowned. Just what had Lila told them?
"There was no reason to be so rude!", Myléne chimed in and the other girls nodded along – with the exception of Alya, who seemed – unhappy.
She refused to meet Marinette's gaze and Marinette couldn't help but wonder whether, perhaps, she should have a talk with Alya.
She probably should.
Not that it mattered – Marinette could feel Lila's cold stare on her back, making the hairs on her neck rise and an unwanted image of crocodile tears and fake sobs.
"You have to apologize!"
And now, everyone was looking at her expectantly and now, she could feel Lila's evil grin burning holes into her back.
No.
She wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.
"I'm not going to", Marinette said, steeling herself for the outrage that was surely to follow.
"What?" "Marinette!" "But – you're Ladybug!" "How could you say something like that?!" "Lila's our friend, just because you don't like her, doesn't mean you get to be mean to her!"
She wasn't going to give Lila the satisfaction.
"I'm not going to apologize – I don't know what happened, according to Lila, but all I did was to decline Lila's offer – I'm sorry if Lila thought of what I said as offensive, but I'm not going to put every word I say on a golden scale to see how it could possibly affect her."
And then, Marinette turned around and left.
Maybe she shouldn't have been so harsh – maybe she should have chosen her words more carefully, maybe she should have just apologized instead of being petty – maybe Rose wouldn't have gotten akumatized then.
But Marinette hadn't and Rose had and it left a foul taste in her mouth.
But it could have been just a coincidence, right?
. O .
Marinette was ever thankful for her Lucky Charm – because the next Akuma attack, er parent's bakery had been completely leveled.
. O .
Marinette felt exhausted. After the reprieve of the past few weeks without close to no Akuma attacks at all, Hawkmoth seemed to try and set a new record for most akumatized victims in a week.
It had been hell.
People were already speculating already – she was sick of every headline declaring her mentally unstable, sick of all those people worrying about a possible akumatization.
So sick of people asking whether she had a backup plan-
(-though they were right, she should have a back-up plan, she really, really should and-)
They were on her balcony once again.
She refused to meet his gaze for the longest of time.
Chat wondered, whether he should be on the lookout for Akuma once again.
"Chat, I-I need to talk to you."
"What is it, Marinette?"
She didn't answer, instead choosing to stare out over the city in solemn silence. It made Chat's hackles rise and made his ears lay flat against his head as his tail was swishing behind him in suspense.
"You-You can tell me anything, Marinette, you know that, right? No more secrets between the two of us, right? Except for my identity, I guess."
He was biting his lip now, very much wanting to get down on all fours to run circles around her. He wanted to purr to comfort her – but then she turned to him.
And smiled.
It didn't reach her eyes, but she was trying.
Chat let himself smile too, his eyes softening again, his ears jumping back up again. She was trying. That was all that mattered, that she was trying and that she kept trying.
He wasn't blind. He had seen what the past week had done to her – but she was trying.
She was trying.
Marinette forced her smile to widen – and it softened when she noticed Chat's nervousness. Carefully, sh moved her hand to hover of his, before she tentaively interlaced their fingers, her eyes furrowed in concentration.
Chat's breath hitched at the action and he desperately tried to control the blush he could feel spreading across his cheeks.
Now wasn't the time.
She didn't mean it like that.
She was looking for comfort.
"You're the most important person in my life, you know that, right Chat?"
His eyes lit up in pure delight.
"The most important?", he asked excitedly and the way he was preening at her words made Marinette giggle in glee.
"Well, maybe not as important as my parents – but you're my best friend. Never doubt that, alright?"
Chat preened even more at those words, his tail swishing still, but slower and more purposeful than it had before. Sometimes, it went as far as reaching out to her, happily wrapping itself around her calf or arm, before retreating, as if embarrassed by what it had done.
Her parents bakery had been flattened – she knew people had been inside when it had happened.
"You're my best friend, too, Maribug", he said – and he-he was smiling so happily and excited and-and-
Marinette deflated. And so did Chat, once he noticed the way her mood swung once again. It made her stomach churn. It made her want to tear up.
Chat deserved better than this. But her parents bakery had been flattened.
He had to understand eventually.
"I-I know you said "no" already and – not that that doesn't mean anything, because of your opinion matters to me, very much so, but I was wondering, if maybe you've changed your mind and..."
"Marinette, you don't need to be so worried. What is it?"
"Could..." She stopped and she knew she was going to lie to him right now. "Could you help me with making some potions? Maybe, if we both know it's safer in the long run!"
Chat agreed and they made the Power-Ups – not a single thing went wrong. And when she asked him if he could come over again tomorrow so they could make some more, Chat happily agreed and excitedly smiled at her.
And it hurt.
This story is in no way meant to be an "Anti-Adrinette" story – I ship the entire lovesquare, although my favorite ship is MariChat. That being said, I hope everyone understands why Marinette in this story feels the way she does and why Adrien acts the way he does. This is not meant to throw shade at any character, it is simply how I imagine the characters would behave in this situation (and I significantly toned down Marinette's obsession, because it's my least favorite part of the show and this is fanfiction, still).
Please leave a review if you enjoyed!
