Happy Middle of August folks! And welcome back for the Season 4 Premier of Fear and Love! As always thanks for hanging with me - especially you Beta Boy! I'm super excited for Season 4 - and hope you enjoy. I have made some progress on the writing, but not as much as I'd like, and work is still really hectic, so I'm going to stick to posting once a week for timeline episodes and twice a week for Interludes for the time being. I'd love to post faster, but it's just too stressful right now.
Quick time check - since we spent the last 6 episodes in an Interlude, careening through several years: Fear and Love started - the night of the Embassy Parties - about 10 years after the Yuuzhan Vong war. Tenel Ka was pregnant (just) and her little prince will be delivered surgically on Csilla a couple of weeks after Jag and Noya's wedding.
At the end of Season 3 Cem and Teeka found all those recordings, Teeka was very heavily pregnant - so we're getting close to the wedding. One thing the Royals did not overhear though was Jacen and Tahiri planning a little meet up on Almar three weeks later.
Kyp and Jysella had that dinner at Jacen's, when he begged her not to join Wraiths... but she did... and now seems to be his personal Uber.
And Jag and Jaina made out, then talked, and think they've finally straightened their shit out.
That, and the Previouslys, should remind you enough of what is relavent.
PP
Previously on Lost In Space…
Jysella became a Wraith… no, the Super Duper Intel Agent/Extraction Team kind, not the transparent kind…
Jag and Jaina reached an understanding… but did either one of them really understand?
And…
Who is this Dex Wessiri guy and why does he have the same last name as Iella Antilles' dead first husband?
Season 4
Episode 1
Once there was a day
We were together all the way
An endless path unbroken
But now there is a time
A torture less sublime
Our souls are locked and frozen
Once we were years ahead
But now those thoughts are dead
Let me go
Let me go
All hopeless fantasies
Are making fools of me
Let me go
Let me go
I walk alone and yet
I never say goodbye
Let me go
Let me go
A change of heart a change of mind
Heaven fell that night
Let me go
Let me go
I tried but could not bring
The best of everything
To breathless then to wonder
I died a thousand times
Found guilty of no crime
Now everything is thunder
Daytime
All I want is nighttime
I don't need the daytime
All I want is nighttime
I don't need the daytime
All I need is nighttime
Got to, got to, got to, got to
Let me go
The best years of our lives
The hope of it survives
The facts of life unspoken
The only game in town
I'll turn the last card down
And now the bank is broken
Found guilty of no crime
They were the best years of our lives
I'll turn the last card down
Let Me Go/Craig, Martin, Peter
Jysella Horn's Suite, Restricted Access Area, Errant Venture
Hyperspace, Heading Toward Coruscant
40 ABY
Almost Eleven Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War
Dex let himself into Jysella's suite and, once again shaking his head at Booster's insistence on giving her such posh accommodations, walked straight to the four by seven meter viewpane on the far side of the living room and sat down on the floor next to her. She didn't respond to his presence, just continued to stare out at the swirling starlines, legs pulled tight to her chest, chin resting on her knees.
He felt sort of bad for her, knew that the situation with Kyp was really getting to her, but that was no excuse for her to treat him as badly as she had the last several days. It wasn't his fault that Kyp was doing this to her. Her attitude needed to be addressed, and as Wraith Commander, that is what he was here to do.
Dex and Jysella knew a lot of the same people, in fact they shared a hold-mother, and their paths had crossed occasionally in the years following the war, mostly at combined Horn/Antilles functions. It was actually through Kyp, several years after she had become his apprentice, that Dex had really gotten to know her. He had always taken Kyp's early descriptions of Jysella, or Sithella as he used to call her, as exaggerations; he'd found it hard to believe that a fifteen year old girl could really be that ornery and difficult. As time passed, and Jysella and Kyp had gotten closer, found a balance in their relationship, Kyp's descriptions had become more generous. By the time Dex began to spend any real time with the two of them she had become almost pleasant, fun even, in a peculiar, dry sort of way, though most of her real charm was reserved for Kyp himself. And he, when she wasn't around, spoke of her with clear adoration. Unfortunately for anyone unlucky enough to cross her path these days, the demise of their relationship seemed to have brought the Sithella side of her personality back to the forefront, and Dex was now caught between wanting to comfort her and wanting to kill her.
She'd been distant, withdrawn, when she'd first shown up on her grandfather's Star Destroyer right after resigning from the Order, but not that disagreeable. Dex thought that she just needed time to adjust and get settled. He knew she was an exceptional pilot, almost as good as he was, and had a brilliant mathematical mind. Dex had fantasies that her freaky ability to compute navi-jumps mentally might translate into big winnings at the card tables in one of the Venture's casinos… though he knew Booster had long ago forbidden her from anything but dice and wheel games on his ship… and only then if she promised to not use telekinesis, so his dreams would clearly never come true.
Dex had been rather proud of himself when he came up with the idea to suggest Jysella for a job with the Wraiths. She seemed a natural fit with her slicing and piloting skills and her Force training, and he had been sure that whatever was eating at her would be taken care of when she had more to occupy her mind than shopping. Of course, he had been wrong.
When Kyp 'visited' the Venture the first time after Jysella became a Wraith, she got a little mean and Dex wondered what piece of the puzzle he was missing. He went to his friend but instead of getting answers, got an earful about how angry Kyp was that Dex had been behind the job offer. Dex had known for ages that things were not as they appeared on the surface between the two; Kyp loved Jysella, loved her so clearly and beyond reason that Dex wondered how it was possible that he seemed to be the only one who saw it. But, he also knew that Kyp had some serious demons and the very fact that he loved Jysella so much would almost surely preclude the likelihood of anything having ever happened between them.
After Kyp's second 'visit', Jysella was downright nasty, and greeted Kyp, dripping with Bacta, naked but for the towel he was holding closed around his waist, his other arm cradling his utility belt and lightsaber, with a solid left hook that sent him flying backwards right into a tray of medical instruments. The really long, sharp… thing… that pierced his side and punctured his spleen was removed easily, and he was hoisted back into the tank with no problems. The problem seemed to be Dex's; did he write up his agent for assaulting the Jedi Master? Clearly there was more going on than Kyp and Jysella had owned up too, clearly more than just a former Master not happy with his apprentice's decision to leave the Order as Kyp had claimed. More than Jysella's simple explanation that being a Jedi was not what she had wanted in life and so she had left. Did he ignore the altercation? Was that setting a bad precedent for his squad, or Jysella? Was it possible to set a worse example than what Kyp had already set for her himself? He simply didn't know, so he waited for his friend to once again be lifted out of the healing tank, and then demanded to hear the truth about what was going on.
Kyp had tried to get away, tried to minimize the situation with half excuses and denials, then he broke, and his pain and confusion over the situation began to pour out. He explained, first haltingly, then as freely as he was probably capable of, what had been happening since Dex and his team had picked them up on Sakiya a year earlier.
As he had suspected for ages, Kyp was in love with Jysella, but what his friend seemed completely oblivious to was the real reason he was pushing her away; he felt unworthy. Kyp had Jysella on a pedestal; when he looked at her he saw perfection. What others considered bad-mannered, Kyp considered spirited; what others felt was rude, Kyp felt was honest. Jysella had been dumped on Kyp as a wounded teenager, and with Kyp's support and patience had grown into the woman that he had eventually fallen in love with, but Kyp seemed incapable of seeing the situation in any way other than that by walking away from Jysella he was doing what was best for her. Of course, he wasn't sitting next to her now, about to deliver a speech telling her that she really needed to not be so short-tempered with her squad mates.
And she still hadn't acknowledged his presence.
"You weren't answering your comm," Dex offered by way of greeting.
"I turned it off," Jysella answered, voice flat.
"That's what I figured."
Jysella finally lifted her head and turned to him, "So you broke into my room?"
"I didn't break in, I used my Squadron Commander override code to unlock your door."
One corner of her mouth lifted and she said slowly, "Don't ever let it be said that you don't know how to take a hint."
Her almost-smile told Dex a lot; she was still upset about having seen Kyp so vulnerable, floating in vacuum yet again a few days ago, but she was on her way to bouncing back, even if it was taking longer than it did the last two times.
"Oh, I can take a hint," he teased. "One of my charms is figuring out what a woman wants and giving her the opposite. Keeps them on their toes."
"And Aunt Iella wonders why you're still single. But we both know you didn't come in here to charm me, so what is it you want? To ask me to ease up on your friend?"
"Friends, actually. I came to tell you to ease up on your squad mates, but as long as you brought him up…"
"Forget I did. Just give me the lecture on what a mean, unpleasant person I am, and how I need to learn to be a team player and then you can go on your merry way."
Dex wondered if it was possible to squeeze both lectures in, and decided that Kyp might need to be addressed later; the squad's morale was really his chief concern.
"They respect you, you know, or at least they want to. When you deign to spend time with them, and aren't specifically caustic, they find you funny and very bright. You might be surprised by how much they like you. And they are most likely going to have to put their lives on the line for you one day, again. Currying some favor might not be a bad idea."
Dex knew that Jysella had little memory of that day on Sakiya, and had always wondered at the wisdom behind Kyp's tendency to minimize what he had watched Franz, the Wraith medic, do to keep Jysella alive once they'd been loaded on to the shuttle. But, Dex also had to wonder; if he loved someone the way Kyp loved her, would he have chosen differently? He was pretty sure that Kyp's glossing over what had happened was a result of his unwillingness to relive the horror of those four hours. He couldn't seem to bear to think about what he'd had to watch Franz do to stabilize Jysella; the Rodian had more than earned his pay that day, shocking her heart into beating again, pumping her full of various drugs to get her lungs to start and the convulsions to stop, all with Kyp standing over him screaming to make Jysella better. When Franz had finally realized that whatever Jysella was reacting to was still on her, and that Kyp and the Wraiths were all contaminated, he had ordered Dex to drag Kyp from the room, and then the two had stood on the other side of the observation window and watched while Franz stripped himself and Jysella, doused them both in antiseptic, then loaded her into a sterile med pod and programmed the controls to a high pressure setting, collapsing next to the contraption, hoping that it would keep her heart and lungs working and not cause her eyes to bulge out of her head. And all of this had started with the shuttle trying to break atmosphere, followed by at least six fighters sent up by whoever was running the facility Kyp and Jysella had broken into to begin with.
"I'll keep that in mind," she finally said mildly.
"You should, especially considering that they are all very fond of Kyp and they seem amenable to keeping your private life just that." Dex watched the color drain from Jysella's face, and was pleased that it had been that easy to work in the Kyp thing. Maybe this wasn't as hopeless as he had thought.
"They know…that…" she trailed off, clearly not knowing what to say or how to say it.
"That there is tension between you and Master Durron? Yes, they do. Of course that little incident in the medbay was a dead give away, and the fact that I didn't write you up for it sort of confirmed their suspicions."
"What did you tell them?"
"That it was a private matter and I'd consider it a breach of confidentiality if anyone talked about it."
That wasn't entirely untrue. The Jedi, like the Wraiths, were under Intel's jurisdiction now, and Corran Horn was on the Jedi Council, and if Corran found out… that would be really bad for Kyp, another Council member, so yeah, this was internal Wraith information that needed to stay amongst the squad and go no further. Dex was serving his patriotic duty by keeping this under wraps.
"Thank you." He could tell it pained her to utter those words.
"But yes, to your earlier question, you probably should go a little easier on him. He's not trying to hurt you." Jysella's eyes dropped and she turned her head and leaned her cheek down onto her knee, grief radiating off of her. "He's in pain, too, you know."
She squeezed her arms around her legs a little more, pulling her thighs tighter against her chest. "Well, he doesn't have to be," she answered sullenly.
"Oh come on. You know him better than anyone, have you not figured out that there is a little more going on here for him than your age or that you were his apprentice?"
"And what would that be?" she asked, turning back to face him with anger flaring in her eyes.
"Do you know how he sees you? As pure." She shook her head in dismissal, "Stars… you really don't understand that? He thinks he doesn't deserve you, that he would taint you somehow."
Jysella's eyes dropped again, and Dex could have sworn he saw tears, but her voice, though quiet, was firm and steady when she spoke again. "I don't believe that's true."
"No? If you don't think so, if you don't know what kind of shame and self doubt he harbors, then why did you bring up the women he used to see when you spoke to him on Coruscant?" Dex tried to keep the disgust from his voice, and got no small amount of satisfaction as she winced at his words. At least she had the decency to look away. "Nicely done by the way. I knew you were capable of hitting below the belt, pun intended, but somehow I thought Kyp might be safe from that aspect of your unique charm. There are few things in life that would hurt him more than losing your respect and that little dig, coupled with the fact that you have refused to speak to him every time he's been here since you joined, has gone a long way in convincing him that he's lost what little respect you might have still had for him. Have you even tried looking at this from his point of view?"
"Of course I have."
"And you can't see that he's trying to let go of you because he believes it's the right thing to do? Unfortunately for him, he's giving up what matters most to him, and normally, if he was hurting like this, he'd turn to you, but he can't because you, and the situation with you is what's hurting him. You are his world, Jysella, and you have been for a long time." She didn't respond, just continued to stare out into space, watching, seemingly captivated, as the star streaks around them became a billion pinpricks of light, indicating that they had exited hyperspace and were now in orbit over Coruscant.
He didn't have much time left, and alienating her completely wouldn't help anyone in the long run, so he decided to try a different tactic. "It's difficult to sit back and watch someone you care about turn their back on love, or get so lost in their own issues that they don't see clearly how much the people around them care.
"Right after the fall of Coruscant, I wound up on Borleias with Aunt Iella and Uncle Wedge. I really wanted to fly, but I had just been finishing up my electrical and mechanical engineering degrees so Wedge put me in charge of the squadron mech crews; said he needed to know he had a top guy taking care of this. I'd just watched my family die, watched the world I'd spent most of my life on conquered. Wedge had some reservations about sending me into battle given the circumstances, and I think Iella wanted me close in case I broke down. Plus, she was about to send Terror One and Terror Two to the Maw and I think it helped her to have me close; she could sort of mother me a little.
"Anyway, this woman, I had the biggest crush on her, idolized her. I was head of her mech crew… and during the entire time we were there she didn't know I was alive. She had lost a lot during the war too, and she was pretty screwed up; actually, obnoxious and screwed up, but I could tell it was to cover her pain. I got it, I did understand, but it was still hard watching her push away people who cared about her because she was afraid of what being open with her feelings would mean, and that is what Kyp is trying to do."
Jysella was quiet for a while, but Dex could tell she was fighting with herself, there was something she wanted to say, but didn't want to ask, maybe didn't want to give any indication that she was vulnerable, or had a need. Finally, in a very quiet, and un-Jysella like voice she asked, "Is Kyp talking to anyone about this?"
"Not willingly, but I know Jacen has been trying to get him to open up."
She nodded, "He needs someone."
"Yes, he does, and you have always been that person for him. As close as he and I are, as he and Jacen are, you surpassed us years ago in terms of what Kyp would open up about, but more than that, when something was going on with him, I don't think it was really about you helping him with a problem, it was just that you were; you made things better for him. Now, he needs you more than ever, but it's because of what he is doing to you that he needs you so much. His head is saying that this is for the best, but his heart is having a hard time letting go. All he has ever wanted was for you to be happy, and this is really hard on him because he knows you're not happy, knows he's the reason you're not happy, and he misses you. It's all more than his poor little male brain can compute."
He saw that little half smile again, had figured that the last of that speech would inspire that.
"So this was all your roundabout way of asking me to ease up on him. And I suppose you want me to not be so angry that he's being careless and I have to keep bailing him out of trouble?"
"You had to know when you took this job that you'd pick him up sooner or later."
Jysella gave him a full-on, quintessential, Jysella Horn patented 'how incredibly brain damaged are you' look and asked, voice dripping with incredulity, "Sooner or later? We've picked him up three times in seven weeks, Dex. That's a record, even for him. Seriously, the Council should ban him from missions."
"Or teach the man to fly."
"Or that." She chuckled, in spite of herself, he knew, and then grew serious again. "And Jacen was on vacation this time - I can't even blame this one on them being trouble magnets."
"They do seem to be."
Jysella sighed heavily and dropped a hand to the floor, using her index finger to trace the lines of the design in the carpet pattern. "Thank you for talking to me. I know how much you care about Kyp and I appreciate that you're looking out for him."
"I'm looking out for you too, and I am sorry he's doing this to you."
She sniffed and nodded. "What ever happened with that girl you liked?"
"She hooked up with another guy… And I actually really liked him, so I let it go."
Jysella nodded, then stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get ready to go meet my dumbass brother, who I'm sure will irritate me within seconds of my seeing him."
Dex smiled, "Ah, give him a great big fat kiss on the lips for me."
Jysella made her way to the door leading to her room, turning around long enough to say, "I'm not sure what part of that is more repulsive, that you want to kiss Valin, or that you want me to kiss Valin for you."
"Well, neither one of us is blue or has lekku so he probably won't try to use ton..."
Jysella flashed him a rude hand gesture and closed her bedroom door before he could finish the sentence.
A Popular Formal Restaurant Near The Senate Building, Senate City, Coruscant
The clattering of water goblets and wine glasses was loud, but not loud enough for Jaina.
She was still terrified that one of the other lunch patrons would overhear what her mother was saying. She couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing than a senate staffer from another system approaching their table in this very posh dining room and hearing what Leia was talking about. Hiding her face behind her hand was useless since Leia wasn't going to do that, and everyone in the room had already recognized her; Jaina was stuck.
"What?" Leia asked. "For stars sake, I was raised a princess not a priestess. Do you think that I didn't know you and Jag were having sex all those years? Good gods, after that whole 'tectonic incident' on Mon Cal, I don't know how every sentient being in the galaxy didn't know."
Jaina glared at her mother while she choked, finally taking a large gulp of water to wash down the bite of food stuck in her throat, and hissed, "I can't believe that you, the former New Republic Chief of State and princess of the House Organa, would debase both me and yourself by referring to one of my first sexual experiences so casually. Really, Mother, how uncouth."
Leia smiled and dismissed her remark with a shrug of her shoulder and picked at her salad until she'd found whatever little thing in it she was looking for, and popped it into her mouth. "It's amazing to me that you can still get so angry at the mere mention of that. Anyway, I only bring it up to illustrate my point."
"Oh, you have a point?"
Leia, smile still on her face, said, "Yes, and it's this: you and Jag have been involved emotionally, mentally, and based on much 'tectonic' activity, physically, for a long time. You may call what I walked in on the other day 'sparring' but the sexual tension was like a black hole. I'm surprised that whole star systems don't get sucked in when the two of you are in the same room…"
"The point, Mother?" Jaina interrupted, feeling her blood pressure rising again.
"Why are you sitting back and not doing anything about it?"
Jaina felt the blood leave her face in a rush and allowed her shoulders to drop. As if her self-esteem wasn't low enough, she was now going to be treated to a round of her new favorite game; 'your ex is so wonderful, let's discuss how you managed to screw that up.'
"He's getting married in a few weeks, to another woman. What would you like me to do?"
Jaina wondered how hard she'd have to slap her own mother to get that stupid, oh so pleased with herself, glint out of Leia's eye, then was momentarily horrified that she'd even think such a thing.
"Stand up for what you want, of course. Talk to him about how he feels. Maybe it's not too late to call off the wedding."
More horror filled Jaina; was Leia serious? Both the idea that she could be the cause of such a thing, and that Leia seemed so cavalier about her doing it was incredible, unbelievable. "What makes you think Jag Fel is what I want?"
"Is he not?"
"It's over, it's been over for ages, and I've finally learned to accept it and the rest of this Sith-forsaken family needs to as well."
"Have you? Accepted it?"
"Yes."
"But that isn't what you want, is it?"
"What I want is to get on with my life, and for you to get a life and stay out of mine."
"Well, I just assumed…"
"Yes, you assumed. And Dad assumed, and Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara assumed. Do any of you really care how I feel about this, or are you just so upset about seeing him get away and not be an official part of this family that it's all you can focus on."
"Jaina, of course we would all have loved for him to be a part of this family, but that wasn't our focus… we thought we were helping you. You clearly came home to try and stop the wedding, but you haven't really done anything overt to succeed, we figured since you weren't going to get the job done the way you were handling it that you'd appreciate our input."
"Well, I don't. All it has done is made me feel like a failure for not giving you the son-in-law that you want."
"So, your lackadaisical, twenty-third hour pursuit of Jag is for us?"
Jaina sighed and leaned back in her chair. She folded her arms across her body, then raised one hand to rub her now throbbing temples and sighed again. "I'm not pursuing him, Mom."
"Ah, well, then maybe that's the problem. I'm sure if we put our heads together, got Mara involved, we could come up with a plan."
Jaina lurched forward, finally reaching her limit, and snapped, "I don't want a plan, and I don't want Jag," then fell back against her chair, a little stunned.
I don't want Jag? I don't want Jag.
To her surprise, her mother wore that same small half smile. "No? Tired of trying to live up to expectations you think he has of you? Tired of fearing the expectations he may one day try to impose? Is that maybe why you ran the first time? You knew he was about to propose and the idea of spending the rest of your life trying to be something you thought he wanted and the resentment that would result was too much? Is the idea of being with someone the draw, or the idea of being with that someone the draw?"
Jaina continued to stare at her mother, stunned by what had just happened. "You guys were never trying to push us back together, were you?"
"No, we weren't. I think we all respect Jag too much to try and subvert his choices, or his wedding. But we love you and thought that you needed to resolve this so you could get on with your life and not just see Jag as 'the one that got away', or, worse as far as I'm concerned, see yourself as a victim of your own poor choices."
"So you don't think I made a poor choice?"
"No, love, I think you made the right choice, your instinct was just light-years ahead of your intellect and that put you into a tailspin. I do not see Jag as 'the one that got away' for you."
"More like the one I let go of because it just wasn't what would have made either one of us happy in the long run?"
"Exactly."
Jaina swallowed hard, not really 'upset', more confused, and not really sure where or how to mentally file this information. "I need to go outside." She stood up and dropped her napkin on the table, walking quickly and directly for the door, not really caring if Leia was behind her or not.
Once outside, she found a bench and took a seat, thoughts of what had just transpired swirling through her head. Had she really just spent the last several months annoyed with her family for pushing Jag on her, feeling like a failure for not winning back his love, and his love really wasn't what she had wanted all along? The idea was mortifying. What if he hadn't put a stop to their kissing that night in his office? What if they had gone through with what they were headed for and then he had broken off his engagement? She'd have ended up breaking his heart again, and feel even worse than she had the first time.
What a mess.
She was so lost in thought she didn't notice Leia sitting down next to her until her mother had snaked an arm around her shoulder and pulled Jaina against her. "Sometimes it's hard to let go, even if, on some level, we know that it's for the better."
Jaina nodded, and continued to think; about their last months together as a couple, their break up, the years she spent traveling, not seeing her family or friends, trying to forget about what she had put Jag through because of how she ended it.
Finally, in a voice so soft and melancholy it surprised even her, she began, "The reason I left him the first time… and the second, is because I didn't feel I could live up to what I believed his expectations were. I thought it was because I was immature, but now, I don't think that's what it was.
"We've spent a lot of time together lately. One night, I sort of threw myself at him, and I was crushed when he stopped me, but I think maybe it's not Jag I missed as much as the idea of him. And I think that, as much as he's always had this idea of the woman he wanted me to be, I was always afraid of disappointing him, and whether I was actually doing it or not, my fear was still there. If we were to get back together, I don't think that fear would go away, and then I would resent him, because I'd blame him when I wasn't living up to this image I think he has of me. It would be a mess."
Leia stroked her hair off her forehead, "Did he really have these expectations of you, or did you think he had these expectations?"
Jaina sighed heavily and thought about her mother's question for quite some time. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I was a great wartime girlfriend, and post war girlfriend. I was fun and adventurous, but I've always suspected that Jag needed to marry a woman who would be a political asset, a partner who would help him further his career, a princess who always looks good on his arm and be willing to follow him unquestioningly wherever he needed to go. I could never be that; I'm a scruffy rebel pilot, and though he never said that he didn't want that, I probably let my ideas of what I thought he would one day want intimidate me.
"When I'm on my own, I'm ok with who I am, or I'm getting closer to being ok, but when I'm with him, even though I do still love him, or have some love for him, it's harder for me to love myself."
"So, it seems you have it all figured out and you didn't really need any help, or a plan."
"No, but I did seem to need a light cast on the situation so I could actually see it."
"That's what I'm here for. And, Jaina, one day you will find someone who makes you feel good about yourself, about who you are inside, and he'll pop up in your life when you least expect it, in the place you least expect to find him."
Jaina felt a smile begin to blossom on her face, a wistful feeling filling her, "And maybe he'll even be a little bit of a scoundrel?"
Leia laughed softly and stroked her head. "You certainly are my daughter."
"Clearly liking scoundrels is in my bloodline."
"Well, my mother did marry the man who became Darth Vader; I can't imagine he wasn't some kind of scoundrel before that."
Jaina laughed. It wasn't often that Leia joked about that part of her ancestry. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."
"I'm proud of you."
"For what, walking away from your dream son-in-law?"
"No, for having the courage to face that he isn't your dream husband. And my dream son-in-law will be someone who makes you feel special, and cherished. For all the things your father and I have been through, that is one thing that stands out: he has always made me feel cherished."
"Even in the garbage compactor?"
"Well, ok, so we had to work up to 'cherished', but once he did cherish me, it was clear and never changed, and that was what mattered."
"I'd just as soon skip emulating the first few years of your relationship."
"Oh, I don't know; there was a certain amount of charm in how obstinate he was. He kept me on my toes. I never knew what to expect, not many men have the courage to figure out what you want and then give you the opposite just for fun."
"Courage or stupidity?"
"Sometimes, the only way to tell them apart is in hindsight and then, only because one worked."
They sat for a few more minutes, until Leia kissed Jaina's head again, and then stood up. "I have to get back to the office, want to walk with me?"
"No, don't tell the boss, but I thought I'd do a little shopping before a sparring session."
"With Ambassador Fel?" Leia shot an amused look at Jaina.
"Yes, but… enough Mother - it wasn't what you thought when you walked in on us the other day. And my perspective is even more clear now. Thank you."
"I love you. And do comm if you want to talk some more." With that, Leia turned and began to walk away. Several feet from her daughter she turned back and called out, "Jaina, I'm sorry I brought up the tectonic thing. That was mean."
Jaina smiled and said, "It's okay, Mom. The event itself is actually a sweet memory. I just wish an entire military facility hadn't been aware of it."
"Oh, it wasn't the whole facility sweetheart; just all the Force sensitives planet-side at the time."
"Thanks, Mom, I feel so much better now." Jaina said sarcastically.
"That was my aim."
Next time on Fear and Love...
Jacen tries to show Kyp a new perspective on the situation with Jysella…
Jag joins in on the fun…
And,
Oh, Kriff! How long has Valin been standing there listening?