Previously on Friend and Sibling Smackdown…

Jacen unleashed his hurt on Tahiri… though she ain't seen nothin' yet...

And...

Cem unleashed his frustration on both of them… and blew a few secrets out of the water… at least no one died in this explosion… though Tahiri kind of wanted too…

Season 4
Episode 7

There is freedom within
There is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're travelling with me

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm towing my car
There's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion
But there's no proof
In the paper today
Tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the TV page

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm walking again
To the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead
Barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
You know they won't win

Don't let them win (Hey now, hey now)
Hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now
Don't let them win (They come, they come)
Don't let them win (Hey now, hey now), yeah
Hey now, hey now

Don't Dream It's Over/ Neil Mullane Finn

Fel Family Estate, Csilla, Unknown Regions
40 ABY
Eleven Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War

Cem watched Tahiri walk from the room, wishing he could say something to ease her mind before she left. She wasn't stupid, far from it, so she had to know that he knew her other secret.

He hated that he'd let out that he was aware of their relationship, but he'd lost his patience with Jacen's attitude and their fighting and he'd slipped. He might have a lot of damage control to do with Tahiri, but there was nothing for it now. Their next conversation may have been even more difficult if she'd spent the whole time wondering if he knew about Jacen too. At least this way the whispercat was out of the bag and they could get straight to the important stuff, like how they were going to turn this cosmically twisted coincidence into a mutually beneficial situation. The plot to oust his wife had made his and Teeka's lives more complicated than usual, and from what he had surmised of Tahiri's situation, hers wasn't a piece of ryshcate; they might very well be each other's only salvation.

He'd already suspected that Jacen didn't know what Tahiri was up to, and that she had her reasons for keeping him in the dark, but being a non-Force user, he could only assume that the mental pressure he'd felt a few moments ago was her desperate plea to not say anything. He hoped that she had picked up on his response.

But back to Jacen, and he wasn't stupid either, as evidenced by his opening remark.

"Gee, after all that there was something you wanted to talk to me about in private?"

Cem chuckled. Not stupid at all, in some respects, anyway.

"A couple of things. First; why didn't you tell me about Tahiri?"

Jacen bit the inside of his cheek and hesitated before saying, "She didn't want anyone to know."

Of course not, how would she explain that to Tarkin?

"How long has it been going on?"

"Six years… give or take," Jacen admitted grudgingly.

Cem was both shocked and impressed, imagining the strain, and energy, required to keep a secret like this, and the implications that the timing suggested to him; since before she'd met Tarkin.

"That's a long time."

Jacen shrugged. "What can I say? She's a decent kriff." Cem cringed hearing such an un-Jacen like assessment of Tahiri, knowing that his friend must really be hurting to say something so crass. "But it doesn't matter; it's over. I'm fine."

He was anything but fine; Jacen could never have endured six months of a secret relationship just for good sex, let alone six years. Cem had long suspected that Jacen had feelings for Tahiri, and was now convinced that he was in love with her, but he obviously wasn't going to admit it right now.

"Please know, despite what I said a few minutes ago, I am here for you. I just couldn't referee a full-scale face off tonight. But I can always offer an ear if you just need to voice your frustrations."

"I appreciate that, but there's nothing to be frustrated about, it's over. You said there were a couple of things…what else did you want to talk to me about?"

He was clearly done with this topic, so rather than pushing the issue, Cem decided to move on to the aspect of Jacen and Tahiri's break-up that directly affected his family.

"We're having Dashiel's naming ceremony before we all leave here. You know, with Tahiri being his hold-mother, you're going to see each other because of him. Lifeday parties, vacations, family celebrations, is this going to be a problem in the future?"

"Of course not. And I'm honored, by the way."

"Good, and you should be, he's the only son I'll ever have. On our orders, the delivery surgeons also performed a procedure to prevent further pregnancies."

Jacen was clearly taken aback by this news. "That's permanent."

"I only agreed to this pregnancy if he was delivered here surgically. We wouldn't get away with another Hapan heir born off-world and I won't risk losing her again. I spend every day, as you are now painfully aware, doing everything I can to keep my wife out of harm's way, I refuse to be the one who places her in its path."

"You could always abstain."

"Are you insane?"

"Just a suggestion."

They both laughed for a moment; Cem happy to see a glimpse of his friend, the true Jacen, making a comment as ridiculous as the one he'd just made. "Anyway, we were going to ask if you could rush out here for the ceremony, but…"

"It's okay, I understand; it's a little soon yet. It probably wouldn't look good to have the hold-parents dueling to the death in the background of all the holos. Or me strangling her over the buffet table, but I'll be fine when I do have to deal with her again. If Tenel Ka really has convinced Jag to leave his room, maybe he could stand in for me at the ceremony."

"I'm sure he'll have no problem with that. Do you honestly think it's over between you two?"

"Absolutely. Jag and I are sooo over…" Jacen's voice trailed off as Cem chuckled, then he raked a hand through his hair, sighed, and continued; the serious and sad tone returning to his voice. "It's more than over. She was given a choice and she made it. Frankly, I knew it wasn't going to last much longer anyway. It was starting to get old."

"But you love her."

"No I don't. Drop it."

A flicker of light over Jacen's shoulder caught Cem's eye and he realized it was a holorecording of Tahiri taped on Hapes several months ago. Jacen was sitting in Jag's study, the only place he could have easy private access to a comm unit capable of transmitting to Csilla, more specifically, the Fel home. Cem had spoken to his brother dozens of times when he was sitting in that very chair and the holo had never been in the background. Jacen must have been playing it before he called, not realizing that it would start again on its own if not turned off manually. Cem was aware of this feature on the frame because he had given the holoplayer to Jag and programmed the restarting mechanism himself. He also remembered the day the holo was recorded; he and Jag had been trying to teach Tahiri how to play shockball, to disastrous results. After the second broken window, no one could stop laughing, least of all Tahiri. Teeka, just pregnant and not in the mood to join them on the court, had been standing by with a holorecorder, capturing the whole thing for posterity.

"Alright," Cem sighed. He wished that he could tell Jacen that he knew he was lying and to give Tahiri time; to tell him that all was not as it seemed, and remind him that she had a lot of baggage. "Alright," he repeated, "I have to go tuck my family in for the night. If we don't speak before then, I'll comm you when we return to Hapes."

"Please do, and give Tenel Ka my love."

"I will. We want you to come and stay with us for a while when we get home. Spend some time with the Butterfly and Dashiel, he needs a Friend Jacen nickname."

"I don't know about that, Dash D'jo is going to be pretty hard to top. What happened to Markum, by the way? I thought you were campaigning hard for that."

Cem groaned and scrubbed his face with his hand before laughing slightly and explaining, "No, that name was jettisoned. You haven't met Magnus…"

"Wyn's husband? No."

"He's the relative you like to keep hidden when polite company comes around."

Jacen smiled knowingly and nodded, "Every family has one. Actually, mine has two: Thrackan Sal-Solo and Darth Vader. Three, if you count Jaina."

"Uncle Wedge has my father… Corran Horn has Booster Terrick…"

"Booster Terrick has Corran Horn…."

"Exactly, and we have Magnus. So we're sitting at dinner the other night and announced that we're going to call the baby Markum, and Magnus blurts out; 'Mark 'em for death, he's a Hapan Royal.'"

Jacen's mouth dropped. "What did Tenel Ka say?"

"She turned whiter than I thought was possible, lifted her chin and said, 'Magnus, we owe you a debt of gratitude for bringing that possible taunt to our attention and saving our son from a lifetime of misery due to his parents' oversight. We shall continue looking for a name.' So we went back to the list and finally came up with Dashiel."

"Well, despite the insensitive delivery, Magnus did the boy a favor; I think this is a better name. And I'd love to visit, I'll be there as soon as you're settled."

"Good, I'll alert Teeka and the staff, have them stock up on your favorite soaps." Cem laughed at his own joke, for some reason the idea of Jacen stealing toiletries from the Fountain Palace never got old for him, though he'd be hard pressed to say why it amused him.

Laughing at his own expense, Jacen said, "Go put your family to bed," then, he grew serious again, "and Cem… watch her. She needs to get away from him."

Yeah… you don't love her.

He tried to reassure his friend without giving away too much, "I will, Jacen. We'll get her out of there as soon as we can. It's what we all want."

He hadn't lied.

Triggering off the comm unit, Cem sat back to take a breath before facing his next task.

If Tahiri didn't want Jacen to know about Tarkin then it wasn't his place to say anything, just like it wasn't his place to tell Jag about Jacen. The only thing that he and Teeka were going to take liberty with was informing Tahiri and Jag that they knew about the investigation, because if the four of them worked together it could save all their lives. And with any luck, Teeka had slapped Jag out of his stupor by now and he was up to speed with what was going on. Now that Cem was finished with Jacen, he'd continue with Tahiri and then she'd be up to speed.

Was there a saying about families that engaged in inter-galactic espionage together? Cem had the distinct impression that they were going to have to call in reinforcements before this was all over. Maybe he could get Aunt Iella on board. He knew retirement bored her, she might be game for some excitement. And wasn't Myri just finishing up her Intel training? Perhaps they could borrow Dex from the Wraiths. Was Jysella Horn technically a relative? Wedge and Iella were her hold-parents, so that made her as much 'family' as Dex. And the reports coming in on Kyp's little 'friend' were indicating that she was shaping up to be a top-notch spook herself.

Cem stood up and stretched his back, then began walking toward the library, idly wondering if any new developments had happened on the Kyp and Jysella front in the weeks since the Jedi Master's lunch chat with Jag, Jacen, and Valin. Cem hadn't seen Jysella in more than two years, but even then he could tell by the way they interacted that there was a hell of a lot more between Kyp and Jysella than just a master/apprentice relationship. Of course he'd also seen at the time that Kyp and Jysella themselves were blind to it.

Were he and Teeka the only couple he knew who had had a straight up courtship? Of course there had been a time issue there, and not a lot of it to waste.

But he had other issues to address, the main one of which was sitting in a massive window seat crying quietly, dwarfed by the size of the window itself and its dressings, not to mention the expansive view of sky and ice behind her.

"I was hoping to find you here," He said softly, stopping in front of her.

Tahiri snorted in a very unlady-like way. "Hoping? For a non Force-user you're remarkably gifted at projecting silent orders. I assumed I was being sent here to wait. Though the idea that you had something to say to Jacen in private after what you said in front of me is more than a little terrifying."

"Funny, he commented on that too. And to answer your unasked question: I wanted to see how he was doing... and ask him to come to Hapes when we got home so he could meet Dashiel. Where is my son, by the way?"

"I passed Poppa in the hall and he wrestled him out of my arms."

Cem sat down and pulled Tahiri into a half hug at his side, noting how stiff she was. He ignored her body language, figuring that she'd relax when he informed her that he hadn't revealed what she feared.

"I also wanted Jacen's reassurance that he wouldn't be a jerk about you two sharing a hold-son."

Much to Cem's shock, this brought a wave of sobs from Tahiri, and then a bunch of unintelligible words that Cem finally translated to 'Do you still want me for that?'

Struck by her grief and fear, Cem hugged her tighter. "Of course we do, why wouldn't we?"

He assumed her next attempt at speech was meant to mean 'because of what I did to Jacen' and answered, "Our love and respect for you hasn't changed, and I'm really sorry it all came out like that. We weren't even going to tell you that we knew about you and Jacen unless you asked, but with you and him going at each other like neks, and how stressful the last few weeks have been… I sort of lost it. I'm sorry."

"Do you think I'm a whore?"

Tahiri's voice was so small and meek it reminded Cem of a frightened little girl, and was so at odds with the woman he knew her to be. He highly doubted that she had been meek even as a little girl.

"I know you're not. What I think is that you love Jacen as much as he loves you, but won't admit it to him."

Tahiri sat bolt upright, turning to Cem with a wide-eyed look on her face. "Why do you think that? Have I done or said something..."

"That might have clued Tarkin in?"

Tahiri's eyes grew even larger as she nodded, seemingly desperate for his answer.

Pulling her back to his side, Cem rubbed her back and replied, "Not that I've seen." She exhaled and relaxed into him a bit before he continued, "In public anyway."

She slapped his leg and huffed indignantly while half whining, "I can't believe you saw us. I'm so embarrassed."

Laughing softly, he squeezed her. "Don't be, and I can't imagine anyone knows. If Jag hasn't figured it out..."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"Of course not, nor will Teeka."

"Thank you," she hiccupped and relaxed further into Cem, burying her head into his shoulder. A few moments passed before her crying eased.

"So… GAI?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"How undercover are you?"

Tahiri pulled out of Cem's embrace and turned her body slightly to face him, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and took a deep breath. "There's an asset referred to as 'Rainmaker' that's been feeding information to the agency for six years. The only person who knows it's me is Belindi Kalenda."

Cem gaped at her for a moment before asking, "Asset? You're not even on the payroll?"

Tahiri shook her head.

"And the director of GA Intel is the only one who knows what you're doing?"

"Within the agency… yeah. Jag isn't an Intel agent."

"You have no backup? Not even Dex?"

She shook her head as she looked down. "I couldn't tell him and not Jacen, and those two are both so protective… they would have had a fit if they knew what I was doing, so we decided not to tell anyone. And now… Dex would only find out if I had to be picked up, and I play an entertainer and a politician's arm candy; not much need for extraction in what I do."

"Tahiri…"

She chuckled. "Gods, you look and sound just like Jag when you say my name like that. Yes, I do realize the inherent danger, but trust me, I can handle Tarkin, and things are a lot safer now than when I was snooping around random clubs and plying underlings with drinks to get information. Have Jag tell you about the time I spent three hours trapped in a very small cabinet in the office of a club manager and nearly missed a performance because he and a couple of his goons walked in while I was snooping through paperwork. I think poor Jag aged about five years while I was telling him what happened that night."

Cem pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes, trying to rub away his sudden fear for Tahiri, and the sense that he had been deluding himself in believing that they would all be fine. Blinking the white spots from his vision away, he asked, "How did this all get started?"

"I did a mission about seven years ago, ironically, with Jacen. We were investigating a group selling stolen art from worlds invaded or destroyed by the Yuuzhan Vong. It was former Peace Brigaders that were fencing the works, and at the very end of the mission I overheard some of them talking about the proceeds from a sale going towards an election on Seswenna. Jacen was unconscious, so he didn't hear any of that.

"When we got back to Denon Jacen was still in Bacta so I reported to the Council on my own. I asked for permission to continue looking into the situation, assuming that the money wasn't going to an election as much as going to rigging an election. Luke told me to leave it alone. Of course, I couldn't get the theories and speculation out of my head; I still had odd feelings about what the Yuuzhan Vong had done during the war and wanted to do something to help fix the damage."

"So Riina felt obligated?"

"No, I felt compelled, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was meant to be involved. I did more digging and then asked the Council again for permission to investigate, but they were not pleased that I'd spent more time on it, using their resources for something I'd already been told to drop. So I went behind their backs and continued, and found more links to more people and the more I found the more I wanted to look and finally I went to Belindi.

"When I presented her with my information and offered to continue digging she advised me to follow the Council's orders, but then hinted that if I was ever to leave the Order she'd be interested in talking."

"Meaning she didn't want responsibility for your leaving, but she did want what you were willing to do for her."

"Exactly. So, I provide information, through Jag, and GAI agents analyze the data, write up reports and then supply copies of their reports and pointers on where to look and who to look at. Jag sends reports back to me, plus he gets access to all the latest equipment and then hooks me up."

"The comm stations here and in his apartment on Coruscant?"

"Yeah, the best the Galactic Federation of Free Alliances has to offer. We use them as relays when Jag and I can't meet in person."

"How did Jag get involved?"

"Belindi didn't want my work traced back to her, and is still dreading the day when Luke finds out, but was nervous about me being out on my own. She decided I needed a liaison outside the agency, and I thought of Jag. He was already in the government, so I knew he'd be able to get to Belindi fairly easily - and then he was appointed to the Council, which made it easier - but with our history - I trusted that even if he didn't agree to help me, he would never let on to anyone else that he knew what I was doing."

"Was it his idea for you to be a singer?"

"No, that was my idea, and he thought it was ridiculous at first. But I genuinely enjoy writing and performing. Plus it fit because it allowed me to travel so I could follow leads, and art and entertainment are linked on all worlds. There are a lot of people in the entertainment industry with crazy amounts of creds to spend on art."

"You included?"

"One of the few perks… But the more information I found, the more diverse the crimes became."

"So you didn't set out specifically to catch Tarkin."

"No, I mean I knew he existed, obviously. Hard to grow up surrounded by the Solos and Skywalkers without knowing about the Tarkins. And I always thought his politics were ass backwards, but I was just following leads. It was a coincidence that the trails led to him. He's got friends involved in everything from credit laundering to slave trading... extortion, spice, election rigging… and I think they're writing crime legislation on Phelarion specifically to funnel the prison populations into a 'legal' form of planet sanctioned slave labor in the place of outright slavery on… so fencing stolen art is the equivalent of a parking violation compared to some of the other stuff these assholes are doing."

"Do you have anything on him personally?"

Looking miserable, she confessed, "No. I've gathered enough information on a couple hundred of his closest business associates to make arrests, but we've been holding off until I can get something solid on him."

"And you decided the way to nail him was to get as close to him as you could?"

She snorted. "Yeah… and wound up in his bed, getting nailed myself."

"Gross."

"You have no kriffing idea," she sighed. "We've thought I was close to catching him in something big so many times, and somehow all the information I've found leads us to someone he knows, or 'legitimate' legislation, but nothing specifically illegal by him."

"Are you sure he's corrupt? Maybe there's a reason..."

"No," she said, cutting him off and shaking her head adamantly, "that just isn't possible. He's the ruler of a government I know is corrupt, all his associates are corrupt - he is too, and I'll find proof if it kills me."

"I'd like to avoid that."

"Well, ideally, so would I." She shivered slightly and rested her chin on her drawn up knees. "So… how did you figure it out?"

"I picked up audio of Jag implanting the tracking device in you. At least I hope that's what he was doing. Otherwise, big brother is a really insensitive lover."

"Eehhhh!"

Cem chuckled.

"And Jace… Jacen and me?"

"Holorecording, same day." Turning his body to face her fully, Cem lifted her chin and asked softly, "Do you love him, Ri?"

She closed her eyes and a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Is it because of Tarkin that you won't tell him?"

She hesitated for only a moment before shaking her head, then she surprised Cem by actually speaking.

"He only…" she inhaled sharply, then continued, "he only thinks he's in love with me."

The way she hesitated made Cem wonder if she truly believed that, or if that was what she was telling herself. But she continued speaking before he could call her on it.

"I always knew he'd eventually wake up and realize I wasn't worth the time. But I always assumed it would be because he found someone worthy of him that he'd leave."

"Ri…"

"I kept telling myself I should walk away, but instead I was a selfish kriffing idiot and allowed it to keep going... it was just so hard to stop."

"And why is it easy now?"

"It isn't easy, although he's making it easier with the things he's been saying. But he's better off this way, and he'll see that eventually."

"Or…"

"No. No 'or'. I deserve this - I should never have allowed it to start and I should never have allowed it to continue. But it doesn't matter now, and Cemmie please, don't ever say a word to anyone else about this."

"Have you considered that Jacen is a grown man and perfectly capable of deciding what he wants?"

"No. Jacen is a dreamer. He's a romantic that gets caught up in the moment."

"Six years is more than a moment."

"Don't," she said, shaking her head. "There aren't going to be any fairy tale endings with Jacen and me, and I knew that from the start. And I can't allow myself to believe that we could ever really be together because if I did then I'd just get my heart ripped out when he finally woke up and realized that the sex was great but it's time to find a suitable wife and have a few kids. Which is what I always knew would happen."

"So you ended it because…"

"I didn't end it. He demanded that I admit I love him, I said I didn't, and he threw me out of the apartment."

Cem nodded slowly as little bits and pieces of puzzle shaped information began to fall into place in his head, and he realized that this must have happened the night Noya died.

"And then you went to Jag's and woke him up seconds before the staff came in?"

"Yeah..."

"So you and Jacen never had a chance to talk about it?"

"Oh, we've talked, as you clearly know from the comment you made in there. We've had two really nasty fights since I've been here. But it doesn't matter anymore. You heard him: he can't stand the sight of me."

"What I heard was my best friend using rage to cover how much pain he's in because the woman he loves is denying her feelings for him. And what I'm hearing now is my baby sister telling me that she's even more emotionally kriffed up than I'd realized, and that she's in pain too because she desperately misses the man she loves but refuses to admit the truth of her feelings."

Tahiri sobbed sharply, then whispered, "You suck."

"You're welcome."

She snorted again, then used her sleeve to wipe her nose before whispering again; "No, seriously, you suck."

Cem laughed softly as he pulled her back into his side. "I love you too."

They stayed that way for a while; Tahiri crying as Cem held her, rubbing her back and trying to comfort her.

Finally, she whispered, "Thank you for not lecturing me about 'sleeping with your enemy'."

"Anytime. But - as much as I'd love to continue discussing your sex life… we have other things to deal with - you need to know what I've got going on Phelarion and we need to be working together. Teeka is upstairs filling Jag in right now."

Tahiri pulled back and wiped her face with her hands, then looked at Cem, eyes clear, focusing on him, and saying in a steady voice, "Which is why you were so confident that she'd get him moving."

"Precisely. We've already inserted a hundred and twenty-three operatives on Phelarion, mostly in banks and taverns…"

"A hundred and twenty-three? Wow!"

"I'm not messing around."

"Of course not." Tahiri stared off into the distance for a moment, then asked, "Why banks?"

"Ta'a Chume and Kozima are transferring Hapan credits to make it look like Teeka is sponsoring an insurrection against Tarkin."

She gasped. "Teeka's bill."

"Yes. One fiendish ploy to bring down two recalcitrant grandchildren, as the old ladies called them."

"That's why you were going through all the recordings of those days."

"Yes."

"And you have evidence linking Tarkin to the bomb?"

Cem expelled a short sigh, "No, only suspicion. I found the recordings right after you all left and Teeka and I wanted to meet with you in person to discuss all of this. We were hoping you'd be able to supply us with something that would help us with the old ladies."

"This is why you were trying to get us to Hapes last month?"

"Yeah… But then Noya died."

Tahiri sighed heavily, then shook off whatever was going through her head and asked, "What do you need? We can get you the archives of all my reports. But it's a lot of data, I've been at this for years."

"That's a start, but I'm more concerned with tracking the credits Ta'a Chume is siphoning from Teeka and finding out who's using the funds. We put people in taverns hoping they'd hear someone talking about underground training for troops and be able to infiltrate."

"I may be able to help you with that. There's been talk lately of beings that are chafing at Tarkin's rule and starting to organize. One of the musicians I've given advice to on Phealrion is involved and doesn't realize I'm on to him. He's torn between being grateful for my mentorship and hating that he's benefitting from the help of Tarkin's harlot."

"Anything would help, maybe give us a starting point. Can you hire a domestic to work in the house?"

"Why?"

"I'd like to send an agent to help you."

"Help would be astral, and actually… just before I left Huff and I had another fight about handmaidens. I know he wants me to hire someone so he can get to her to keep an eye on me, so I've resisted…"

"For obvious reasons."

She nodded miserably. "Which are no longer relevant. This could work in my favor on numerous levels. Huff hates that I travel alone, and as much as I'd hate to use this… maybe I could tell him that with what happened to Noya…" tears began to fall down her cheeks again, then she asked, "Is Jace right? Did Tarkin kill Noya?"

Cem felt his shoulders drop, guilt overwhelming him. "I… I think maybe… yeah… but we aren't certain yet."

"Kriff," Tahiri sighed. "As if living with him wasn't already difficult enough. Now I have to go back there knowing he killed someone I love?"

"I don't believe he specifically targeted her; I wasn't lying when I told Jacen that we believed…"

But Tahiri cut him off. "Right, it wasn't Noya that he was targeting - it was you, or Teeks, and Noya just happened to get in the way?" Tahiri began sobbing again, her body shaking convulsively, and Cem grabbed her, pulling her into his chest as he tried to soothe her. He knew Tahiri loved Noya; had accepted her as the rest of the family had, because Jag loved her. But Tahiri had done even more than the rest of them, going to great lengths to try to bond with Noya and make her comfortable around the Force-sensitives in their family… but there was something else going on here…

"We… arranged…" Tahiri sobbed out, "The speeder pick up… tracker…"

Tahiri's sobs became harder, deeper, her breathing and speech so labored that it took a long time for Cem to grasp what she was trying to say, and then finally… he understood: Jag and Tahiri had arranged the speeder pick up as a cover for Jag to plant the tracking device on Tahiri. And if his theory was correct - their cover gave the assassins the opportunity to plant the bomb on Cem's speeder.

"I killed her," Tahiri moaned, "he loved her so much, and I got her killed. How can he ever forgive me?"

Cem squeezed her tighter and rubbed a hand over her head, and said forcefully, "You did not kill Noya Ri. No more than I killed her, or Teeka killed her. Do you hear me?"

"He's so good…" she sobbed, obviously referring to Jag, "he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to suffer like this."

"I know."

They stayed like that for a while, both trying to calm down. Finally Tahiri sat back up, then said, "Alright - we need to focus. Plan. We can't get away with hiding out here in the UR for much longer if we want to maintain appearances…"

"No…" Cem agreed, "we can't."

Tahiri sighed again, then said, "so… handmaidens… Like I said, I can also claim that the family is nervous about me travelling, hire a couple of guards too?"

"You'll get no argument from me about surrounding you with Hapan agents… but I'd like you to cut back on the travel. I have a feeling we're going to need you to stay close to Tarkin for the duration."

Tahiri deflated visibly and Cem got the impression that spending even more time with Tarkin was the last thing that she wanted to do. Another tear slipped down her cheek and he was suddenly struck by the magnitude of what she was subjecting herself to. Spending even more time on Phelarion would cut her off from the family and her few remaining friends even more than she already was, magnifying the loneliness she must surely be feeling already.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you."

She sniffed again and nodded her head. "It's alright. I knew what I was getting myself into. Or at least, I knew some of it. And I could walk away at any time. I just can't seem to make myself. I want to finish this. I want him arrested and tried and sent to prison for the rest of his life." She let out another sob before finishing, "It's just so hard sometimes, and the longer I stay with him… I feel so… dirty."

"One of the reasons you couldn't bring yourself to walk away from Jacen?"

She sobbed again and nodded as she fell into Cem. "I miss him so much, and now he hates me…"

He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. When she finally caught her breath, she sat back up and looked at him with a new gleam in her eye.

"Okay, I can do this. I've been doing it for this long, what's a little longer?" She asked rhetorically. "What else do you need?"

"I'm going to send you my favorite slicer to act as your handmaiden."

"Alright."

"Can we get her access to Kozima's com systems?"

Tahiri hesitated, "I don't know. She has a separate house on the compound; I haven't been able to get into her systems yet. I've been trying for ages."

"Gigi Garrick is the best of my staff. If you can get her within a hundred meters she'll be able to get in, we just need to find a way to transfer what she finds."

"She can use Fiver; he's already there and no one suspects he does anything more than keep me company."

"That's good. Though knowing Gigi, she'll have another, and better plan as soon as I tell her what I'd like her to do. Go through a hiring agency to make choosing her look random; I'll have Jag send you the files on her and another few of my agents so you'll know who to pick. I'll also need you to open some bank accounts…"

"That I can't do."

"Why?"

"Citizenship on the planet is linked to banking, it's their way of keeping the poor from voting or participating in government. If I have accounts there, and am declared a citizen, and I'm living with Tarkin, he could claim implied marital status to prevent me from testifying against him when we bring him to trial."

"I didn't know that."

"I could do a law degree on Phelarion thanks to everything I've had to learn. And given those laws - and what a stingy bastard he is - I've always told Tarkin that Junger wanted me to legally reside on Wyloff for tax purposes, and then subtly threw in the idea that it protected his assets from me as well. We fight about it at least once every couple of months because he resents having to pay for my shopping when I'm there."

"How chivalrous."

"Well, I do like to shop."

"That you do. Speaking of Junger, how much have you made?"

Tahiri chuckled softly.

"What?"

"Sorry. It's just been an endless source of amusement to Jag and me that my 'cover' has made me insanely wealthy. With chip sales, endorsements, licensing, performances, launching the label and signing other bands, writing royalties... and Junger started investing my money in real estate years ago… and Bacta… I'm worth easily ten, twenty times what Tarkin's worth. Even my shoe fetish can't put a dent in the pile."

"I'm impressed."

"I had a good teacher."

"Speaking of your teacher… does Mom know what you're doing? Is that why Jag brought you here to work with her?"

"He brought me here because I had almost no credits and nowhere to go when I left the Order and needed to finish writing and then record the first chip. It was a coincidence that Mommy and I hit it off so well and then she took it upon herself to tutor me. And to answer your other question, no, she doesn't know what I'm doing… though I did have a long talk with her a few days ago. I was trying to put her mind at ease that I will not be marrying Tarkin, regardless of what she hears."

"She's lived with military and Intel agents for forty years. What did she say?"

He watched Tahiri cringe and admit, "She said she trusted me to make good choices… when it mattered…" Tahiri closed her eyes and dropped her head, clearly realizing, or finally accepting, the obvious. "And she gave me a list of people I could go to in case I ever felt the need to suddenly leave Known Space, said they'd keep me safe until she and Poppa could get to me and that nothing and no one could touch me once they got me back here."

"Ri, she knows, or at least suspects."

"It's starting to scare me how many people do."

Cem reached over and pulled her back into his side, once again kissing the top of her head, hating that he was asking her to give even more of herself when she'd given so much already.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered into her hair. "It's only us, and you're a Fel, whether you decide to go through with the adoption or not. We stick together and take care of our own; we won't let anything happen to you. And I think we should come clean with Mom and Pop. As much as I don't want to admit it, Teeka and I may need that list Mom gave you. If we don't succeed we're all going to need to get the kriff out of Known Space."

Tahiri whimpered. "I don't want that to happen. We can't let them win."

"I don't want them to win either."

"But you're right, and we have to keep the babies safe, regardless of what else happens."

"Yes, we do."

She let out an exhausted sigh as she leaned back into him. "Cemmie…"

"Yeah, Ri."

"I'm so tired."

"I know you are Ri."

"I want this to be over."

"So do I sweetheart, and it will be. Soon." He rocked her as she cried, and prayed that he was right.

Next time on Fear and Love...

Interlude 4…

Dex Wessiri… the man, the myth, the Wraith Commander...