I feel like this chapter makes it pretty clear all of this started off as a oneshot – I hope you don't mind the slow pace!

oOoOo

.

Forget me not (because I will)

"He wanted to scream – he just really, really wanted to scream into a pillow at that moment."

.
oOoOo

He dared to take a step forward. Then another and another, his feet barely making a sound as they hit the floor, his breath held in anticipation until he had crossed the distance between them without startling her.

He felt like a cat stalking its prey and Adrien hated it – but it was the only way he could get close to Marinette without her running off immediately, pretending she hadn't seen him across the courtyard.

And Adrien was at a loss of words. She was pushing him away. It wasn't hard to notice and he had heard the whispers and rumors spreading through their school like a wildfire.

Marinette was pushing him away, no matter what he did or tried. She hardly ever spoke to him when they were eating lunch in their group of close-knit friends, instead turning to Alya every time and only giving curt responses to whatever questions he asked. And whenever they ended up alone together, she'd make up a cheap excuse to run.

It cut deep. How come she greeted his superhero alias a with such a wide smile, but Adrien was met with coldness and evasiveness?

It wasn't fair and Adrien – he didn't know what to do. Watching her from afar hurt – more than he liked to admit. Watching her slowly waste away without being able to pull her into a hug filled with a promise of a better future most of the time made him feel so – so useless!

But they were friends and Adrien didn't have the mental space right now to worry about stepping on any toes. Every day that the circles under her eyes turned a shade darker, Adrien was kept up an hour longer, plagued by worries and fear – they were friends.

He could simply ask.

"Can we talk?", he asked once he had arrived and Marinette jumped at his voice.

Yet another punch to the gut.

She glanced at Alya, clearly looking for help – another cut. Another mark. – but the journalist simply shook her head, turned and left.

Adrien couldn't be anymore grateful for her.

"Y-Yes, Adrien?"

She refused to meet his eyes and he was tempted to tilt up her chin, if only to convey how much he hurt but he didn't because no matter how much he hurt, Marinette would always be hurting worse and he – he never wanted to maker her feel uncomfortable.

"It..."

Just get out with it already, his inner voice whispered. He may be selfish, but...didn't he deserve an answer?

"Maybe it's just me..."

It wasn't. It wasn't just him.

"It feels like you're pushing me-us away and, I don't know Marinette. I guess I just miss you?"

His words tasted bitter on her tongue.

He was missing her.

It was true. They had gotten even closer the past few weeks and they were good friends now. Really good friends. Adrien rarely ever left her alone anymore, constantly staying with her, joking, talking, flirting.

They had been friends. Of course. But things felt different and while, of course, things would feel different because of her secret – formerly secret – identity, she couldn't help but think that he would have never cared about her that much if it weren't for Ladybug.

Marinette had never felt jealous of Ladybug. Of course, there were things that Ladybug could do that Marinette couldn't, but there were things Marinette could do that Ladybug couldn't. Tikki had told her time and time again that she was Ladybug and she had proven – to herself, to others – that she didn't need her mask to be a hero. When she had helped Chat with the 'Evillustrator', when she had freed herself from 'Weredad's' prison. When she had fought against 'Feast' without having been transformed.

When she had saved Chat from Antibug without her spots on.

She didn't need her Miraculous to do things – it made things considerably easier, but Ladybug was still Marinette.

And it hurt, feeling like other people, other people that meant something to her, didn't think the same. Didn't see Ladybug in Marinette and vice-versa.

People that had called her their 'Everyday Ladybug no less'.

It hurt a lot.

Marinette smiled at Adrien and she knew he could tell it was fake.

"I-I'm just dealing with, you know, everything."

She couldn't help but sound bitter and she felt almost pleased at the hurt look on his face before she realized that, whatever was going on, they were friends.

Even if Adrien didn't treat her alter-ego the way she wanted him too.

Guiltily, she cast her eyes aside.

"I-I'm sorry, Adrien", she stuttered, her stomach churning at her own bitterness. How had it ever come to this?

"That came out wrong. It's just...things aren't easy right now and I guess I'm just tense because of everything that is going on. But don't worry. I'm fine."

She smiled at him. He smiled back, uncertainly.

"That's-That's good. Just know I'm always there for you, ok?", he asked and Marinette nodded:"Of course."

And she believed those words, because Adrien was always there for her. They had always been friend, he'd always stood by her side, no matter what word vomit she had produced, no matter how cringy she behaved.

Adrien had always stayed next to her. But he had never once flirted with her – not the way he did now. He had never given her all of his attention – and he didn't have to! She was fine with him having a life of his own!

But now...it felt like he didn't. And Marinette couldn't help but feel bitter.

. O .

They met up for patrol like they always did. Chat had made a habit out of picking her up at her house – he said he loved watching her transform.

"Watching one amazing girl transform into another, equally amazing girl, is amazing, because it makes you even more amazing! And I! I am your best friend!"

She had blushed that time and prayed to the stars that the night would cover it up. Friend. Of course, now of all time he'd call her a friend, yet – it was probably for the best.

No, scratch that. It was for the best.

Fighting her blush back down after she had transformed, Marinette nodded at him and then took off, leading Chat on a chase through the city, feeling the wind rush against her face as they engaged in another game of tag.

Usually, Marinette was able to forget everything that weighed her down as she swung through Paris like this, her only objective to beat Chat at whatever silly bet they had come up with this time. Be it a race or hide-and-seek – Marinette staunchly maintained she had an unfair advantage when it came to that – or daring each other to try always more complicated tricks.

Usually, Marinette felt free. She may have never viewed her role as Ladybug – or guardian – as anything but a burden, but those moments spent atop her city?

They made her reconsider her stance time and time again.

She wouldn't know what it felt like to be in free fall if it weren't for this burden, knowing nothing could happen to her with her yo-yo and trusty partner by her side. She wouldn't know what it felt like to share a pastry atop the Eiffel Tower as they watched the sun go down.

She wouldn't know Chat either.

That thought had made her stumble more than once.

But today, not the most ridiculous pun, not the most daring display could take her mind off of the misery that glued to her like bad air.

No laughter left her lips that night, no rush of adrenaline drove her to faster and faster speeds until her lungs burst from lack of air and giddiness.

Knowing she had found a replacement in Kagami had only given her temporary reprieve until she had been hit with the realization that – this was truly it.

The end.

And then their had been her conversation with Adrien that had left both of them feeling absolutely miserable.

Chat noticed her lack of laughter. Of course he did. Her partner was-was the best and he kept sending her worried glances and Marinette hated herself for-for feeling this way! Chat was supposed to laugh! Hadn't he told her time and time again how Chat helped him be himself? Helped him shake off his home life?
She was selfish for not letting him have his own moment of peace from a life that sounded like utter hell.

It was the end of patrol when Chat finally asked whether she was okay or not. Marinette didn't want to answer him. It would hurt him.

Hadn't she hurt him enough already?

But Chat knew her and he'd knew if she was lying to him and she didn't want to doubt her in those last days they still had together. Maybe it was better if she would keep breaking promises, keep breaking his trust to let him down softly. Not that Marinette didn't think that was possible.

She wouldn't be able to let him down slowly.

Or so she told herself – maybe she was just being selfish.

"It-It's the boy I like. Liked. I don't know. It's-I guess it's just mystery boy right now."

Chat's mood worsened instantly and Marinette almost thought he'd leave her standing, not wanting to hear anything about this boy she liked, but he didn't. Instead, he visibly swallowed and plastered on a smile that Marinette didn't like at all.

"We don't have to talk about it Chat. I know it's a sensitive topic for…"

"No", he interrupted her:"You're my best friend and I cherish that friendship more than anything else – if there's something on your mind, I want to know."

Marinette smiled at that. Chat's eyes were pressed flat against his head, but he looked at her stubbornly and she knew he had made up his mind.

She turned her gaze away from him, letting out a sigh and trying to blink the few stray tears away that she shouldn't have to shed for any boy.

"It's just...He's starting to pay attention to me. You know. He flirts and always smiles and me and-and all those things people do around people they have crushes on."

Chat's tail was now violently lashing out behind him and his ears had almost entirely disappeared in-between his hair. He refused to meet her eyes and Marinette immediately regretted having told him about it. She knew, if she were to coax him to look at her, she'd see hurt and disappointment and the question "Why?" in his eyes, because that was exactly the way she had looked after Adrien had asked her to chaperon his date with Kagami.

"That's-That's great news, Ladybug. I'm glad for you."

And then he looked up and smiled but it didn't reach his eye. And Marinette smiled too, but it didn't reach her eyes either.

"It's not. It's not great news. I-We were – are – friends and I just...I just don't understand! He's-He's too sincere to...to just...I don't know."

She leaned against one of the steel beams of the Eifeltower and looked at the stars. Chat kept silent, facing away from her and it almost seemed like he wanted to reach out for her but was too scared to do so.

"I don't doubt his feelings. I-I truly think he likes me, but...why wasn't me-without-the-superhero-title enough? It's like he saw me and Ladybug and though he might give me a chance and I can't stop wondering why he wouldn't give friend-Marinette a chance too. I mean-he knew me! I-I used to stutter around him all the time..."

"...you used to stutter around him?"

"Yeah. All the time. But-I stopped a few months ago and we became really good friends and he just...He knew me as Marinette. He didn't know me as Ladybug. So why...why choose me just now, you know?"

She looked at Chat, but he still wasn't facing her and when he finally spoke, he took her by surprise.

"It's hard to imagine you stuttering, bug."

"I-I don't usually stutter. It was only really around him, but...it was really bad. Sometimes I think he just thought I was a total weirdo."

"To be honest, I always found your stutter cute."

Adrien's message came to Marinette inadvertently and she bit her lip from disappointment. She remembered the way he looked at her.

He had never thought of her stuttering as "cute".

Chat didn't answer for quite some time, choosing to intently scrutinize her instead. But when he did, his ears popped up a bit and his smile – while pained still, looked different.

"For what it's worth, I don't think that's it. No one who captures my lady's heart could ever be that shallow."

He looked so pained when he said that, even more so than before, and Marinette had never admired her partner anymore than in that moment, because he was defending the boy she liked right now – that he thought she liked right now – knowing that he was the reason she had never given him a chance.

"I know", Marinette whispered, not daring to speak much louder.

"But it's hard to control how one feels."

And she looked at him and smiled and it-it made him blush.

And she felt bad because she shouldn't give him hope – she shouldn't have given him hope before, because she hadn't returned his feelings and she shouldn't give him hope now, because they were running out of time.

I almost summarized this chapter with "Brought to you by Chat's internal (infernal? Eternal?) screaming. And just to clarify: Chat did figure out Marinette's crushing/crushed on Adrien. That wasn't entirely clear but I wasn't sure how to write it into the story without being awkward.

Please leave a comment if you enjoyed ^^