Chapter Six
Jeremy hesitated in the foyer before going to the dining room. He knew that the Logans were already in there seated, enjoying the supper Mabeline had prepared for them. How could I be so stupid, he scolded to himself, Ned had finally begun to trust him and in one move he'd blown it. His extreme lateness returning from town would no doubt cause him to not allow him such independence again. The thing was, if he had left his spying post when he planned to, he wouldn't be having this problem, he thought, but instead he remained beyond the 5 minutes and that soon turned into 30. Now here he was late, with nothing to show for it, because he still did not get a glimpse of her, only an endless view of her home. Jeremy took a deep breath and headed for the dining hall…
When he entered the room, he was surprised by it's difference; there appeared to be more flowers decorating the place and everyone seemed happy to see him.
"We thought you'd never get here" Ned remarked "Join us"
Jeremy slowly walked to a chair and as he sat down, he noticed that all of his favorite dishes were lining the table's center.
"What's going on?" he asked, still bewildered
"Since you arrived here in Lexington" Ned began "We've all been so busy that we haven't had the opportunity to officially welcome you into the family, well this is what tonight is about."
Jeremy was speechless. The last thing he expected was for the Logans to do something like this for him. He was so sure Ned was going to admonish him for being late, and though he was glad that trust had not been broken between them, he was uncomfortable with the idea of the Logan's fully embracing him.
"I don't know what to say…" Jeremy voiced quietly
"Excuse me" Mabeline stated as she suddenly came into the room, "Sean you have a visitor."
"Who is it?" Sean asked, puzzled
"A Mr. Langston"
Sean immediately excused himself from the table and made his way to the parlor, where Henry was waiting.
"Henry?" Sean said as he walked into the room "What's going on?"
"I'm sorry to intrude," Henry answered "But I thought you'd like to know that Claison has decided to accept Lexington's bid for the land."
"What!" Sean said elated "This is great news! How did this happen? I didn't think Claison would accept the city's offer once they received Asa's bid."
"It wasn't easy, but I was able to convince them that a place to help those who are ill was much more constructive than a personal endeavor by Asa Winters."
"I don't know how to thank you Henry"
"No need for that," he answered "I wanted this land for the city just as much as you did. I'm just glad I was able to accomplish that."
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Sean returned to the table and announced the news Henry Langston had brought. The family was thrilled with what they heard and congratulated him.
"Thanks" Sean said "But enough about me, this night belongs to Jeremy."
Everyone concurred and he began to make a brief statement about Jeremy now being apart of the family, mid speech his flowing words began to stammer and everyone noticed that his concentration was drawn away from the table. Following his eyes their attention came to rest upon the doorway.
"Marita!" Alice said eagerly as she got up from the table "Is that the strawberry custard?"
"Yes" Marita acknowledged lightly,trying to cover what had just happened between she and Sean. "I'm sorry I'm late…"
As Marita apologized for intruding and failing to deliver the custard earlier, Sean gradually lowered his gaze from her, attempting to disguise the feelings he'd just openly displayed. His effort was successful for the most part, but was not lost on his father or Jeremy. They both watched him closely as Marita continued her conversation with Alice. It was clear to anyone who was looking that Sean had feelings for her, deep feelings. The way he looked at her was the look of a man in love and that worried Ned and stirred intense memories within Jeremy.
After Marita exited, Sean continued his speech, apologizing for not taking the time to get to know him better, and Jeremy sat quietly as the other Logan family members stated why they were happy he was there. Alice and Lexy stated how great it was to have another brother , and even Clay thanked him for being such a help around the house. When Ned began to express that Jeremy felt like one of his sons, he couldn't take anymore. The very feelings he had been trying to avoid was beginning to be felt by the Logans and he had to acknowledge that so much respect being bestowed upon him was starting to take it's toll.
"Will you excuse me?" Jeremy said as he abruptly stood, interrupting Ned's speech, then left the room before anyone could respond. Alice immediately got up to follow him, but Ned stopped her.
"I'll talk to him" he said
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Ned found Jeremy sitting on the front steps playing with a blade of grass. He slowly sat down next to him, resting his hands on his knees.
"What's going on?" he asked quietly
Jeremy didn't answer right away. He didn't know how he wanted to respond to that question. The truth was the Logans embracing him was never apart of his plan. He wanted them to trust him yes, but he didn't want them to develop an attachment to him.
"I don't know" Jeremy finally answered " Well…that's not true, I guess it's just…I've never felt welcome anywhere, the way you and your family has welcomed me."
"I'm sorry to hear that" Ned replied genuinely "But I'm glad that you feel welcomed with us, because you are apart of this family now, and you are wanted here. Everyone wouldn't have pulled together to make this such a special night if you were not wanted."
"I know…" Jeremy uttered as he stared out at the darkness…
"Is there anything else that's bothering you…that you'd like to talk about?"
"No" Jeremy lied, knowing that he couldn't tell Ned or anyone else his real reason for coming to Lexington.
"Ready to go back inside then?"
Though Jeremy appreciated everything the Logans were doing for him, he really didn't want to return to dinner. He just wanted to be alone. He didn't want to encourage them getting emotionally involved with him and he himself did not want to develop a closeness to them by spending so much time together.
"I'm not ready" he answered truthfully "But I will go" Knowing that any other choice would be unacceptable.
Ned and Jeremy returned to the dining room. After Jeremy apologized for his abrupt exit, dinner resumed. The glowing accolades ceased, for everyone suspected his earlier retreat was caused by his discomfort with their praise. So, they quietly enjoyed the remainder of the meal without celebrating it's purpose.
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As the swing glided back and forth, Marita gazed up at the brilliant stars, mesmerized by their beauty. The night was so clear- pure that she could not begin to count the millions of light above her. Besides the obvious, this was something else she would miss once she moved to Cholena. The beautiful Summer evenings in Lexington, when the sky was gorgeous beyond words and everything she held dear was just a breath away. She knew that Michigan would offer the same nightly view, but it wouldn't be as magical as the view from Lexington.
"Still trying to count them I see" Sean said amused, startling her.
"Sean!" she scolded lightly " You startled me"
"Forgive me" he said quietly "May I sit down?"
Though Marita's heart was always thrilled to be surprised with a visit from Sean, simultaneously, she experienced a feeling of uneasiness at being so close to him, especially after their encounter in the barn, and what had happened earlier in the dining room.
"Sure" She said, then moved over to accommodate him.
Sean sat down slowly, knowing full well, like Marita, that their proximity was too close.
"So how did the dinner go?" she asked, attempting to draw her mind from his nearness.
"Despite a few…interruptions, it went well"
"I apologize again for being one of those interruptions." Marita said "I got caught up with one of my students and was unable to finish the custard until late."
"You were fine, in fact, the other visitor we had turned out to be welcomed too."
"Really? Who was it?" Marita curiously asked
Sean hesitated a moment , smiling to himself then answered "Henry Langston. Claison is accepting the city's bid for the land."
" Sean that's wonderful news!" she said as she reached for him, but quickly stopped herself, drawing her hand back. "I'm so happy for you!" she continued
Marita's abandoned gesture had not been lost on Sean. He felt the same desire as she; he wanted to touch her, kiss her, fully express his own excitement over the deal being approved, but he couldn't – it would only serve to alienate her. Something he didn't want to do.
"You know this means the agreement we made is official now" he said cautiously "that is…if you're still okay with assisting me on the project."
Marita's mind suddenly flashed upon what happened a few nights ago, when she went to see Sean in the barn and then again how she felt when he walked up earlier. She didn't know if she could complete this job and keep her feelings subdued…
"I'm still okay with it" she finally answered, ignoring the warning in her heart. "How soon will we began."
"Almost immediately, Clancy wants this project underway as quickly as possible."
….They sat there in a companionable silence rocking gently in the tree swing, enjoying the sounds and beauty of the night, along with each other's presence.
Sean longed to touch her, to feel her hand in his…but again, he knew that any chance they had of working together would be gone if he acted. What was he going to do when she moved to Michigan; he thought, he would no longer have moments like this, just being close to her, talking with her. He closed his eyes, quietly struggling with the pain in his heart. He couldn't think of that right now, he decided; he would just enjoy being with her. And so they remained that way it seemed like hours, swaying back and forth - savoring the moment, while fighting their desire to be closer.