Previously on War and Peace…
Tahiri made a friend named Dex...
Dex is a badass…
And Coruscant was liberated…
Season 4
Episode 10
Interlude Part 3
What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears, then I'll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah
Oh, baby I get by
(By with a little help from my friends)
All I need is my buddies
(Try with a little help from my friends)
I said, I'm gonna get high
(High with a little help from my friends)
Oh, yeah
What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
No, no
How do I feel at the end of the day?
(Are you sad 'cause you're on your own?)
I tell don't get sad no more
(High with a little help from my friends)
Gonna get by with my friends
(Try with a little help from my friends)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try
(Try with a little help from my friends)
Keep on gettin' high, oh, Lord
(Do you need anybody?)
I need someone to love
(Could it be any body?)
All I need is someone
Knows just where I'm goin', yeah
Somebody who knows just what I'll show them, baby
(Try with a little help with my friends)
Said, I'm gonna make it with my friends, yeah, yeah
(Try with a little help with my friends)
Oh, oh, I'm gonna keep on tryin', yeah
(High with a little help from my friends)
I'm gonna keep on tryin' now, babe
(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
I'm certain it happens all the time, yeah
(What do you see when you turn off the light?)
I can't tell you, but it sure feels like mine
(Try with a little help from my friends)
Don't you know I'm gonna make it with my friends?
(Try with a little help with my friends)
I promised myself I'll get by
(High with a little help from my friends)
Said, I'm gonna try it with them too hard
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Could it be anybody?)
Oh, there's gotta be somebody
Going to be right, I know it
Somebody carefree, now
Oh, yeah, yeah
(Try with a little help with my friends)
Said, I'm gonna get by with my friends
(Try with a little help with my friends)
Oh, yes, I'm gonna keep tryin', now
(High with a little help from my friends)
Keep on tryin' with my friends
(By with a little help from my friends)
Oh, you'll never gonna stop me anymore
(Try with a little help with my friends)
I'm gonna keep on tryin', yeah
(High with a little help from my friends)
I'm gettin' high, I wanna make time, Lord, no
Gonna get by with my friends, yeah
Oh, I'm gonna get on by
Yes, I'm gonna get on by
Wanna take 'em all along
I wanna take 'em all along with me, yeah, yeah
With A Little Help From My Friends/Lennon/McCartney
Zonoma Sekot
30 ABY
Five Weeks after the Liberation of Coruscant
Dex and Tahiri were walking slowly, side by side, through the last few hundred meters of the area they'd been assigned to survey today. They'd spent the last couple of weeks with the group volunteering to assess the damage that had been done to the Southern Hemisphere of Zonoma Sekot by the numerous hyperspace jumps the planet had made. Even with all the destruction, Dex had to agree with the Priest Harrar's assessment - creepy as he may be - the planet was beautiful.
As they reached the outer perimeter of the encampment he caught what Tahiri was saying, and noted the serenity in her voice as she said it.
"I hope you realize how happy I am for you Dexie. You've wanted to be a Wraith since we first met them on Borealis."
"I have." he said. "But I'm still a little stunned by Face's offer. Though I am really excited."
"Of course. How's Iella handling the news?"
"Fairly well actually. I'm not supposed to know this, but Face ran it by her and Wedge before he made the offer. And between how much they trust him, the fact that they've known him for years, and Iella's joy at having Syal and Myri back from the Maw… she's ok. Not thrilled, but she did tell me that she trusts me to keep myself safe, given that I am a grown man."
"You may be a grown man, but she loves you, and thinks of you as one of her kids. I doubt she'll ever stop worrying about you… or being grateful to you. But, given what she knows of the Wraiths and their exploits… I'm not surprised that she'd have misgivings."
Dex laughed, then nodded. "Yeah… maybe Uncle Wedge shouldn't have shared as much as I assume he has about what the Wraiths do…"
"She's a top Intel Agent. She didn't need to hear stories from Wedge to know the shit the Wraiths get up to."
"True. But with the war over… things should be fairly calm for the Wraiths for a while. I know Face wants to make changes… maybe we'll get lucky and won't have too much to deal with for a while."
"With the war over…" Tahiri sighed dreamily. "I was beginning to think I'd never live to see that."
Dex squeezed her hand. "So was I. But here we are, Blondie… alive - in spite of all the dangerous and sketchy stuff we've had to face."
She squeezed his hand in return and smiled at him. "I wouldn't have made it through, you know… without you."
"Yes you would. You may be the strongest, and most stubborn woman - girl - I've ever met. You would have survived."
Tahiri humed, and Dex was once again struck by how young she was, and how tragic he found it that she had played such an integral part in this war at such a young age.
"Maybe," she finally said, "But I'm incredibly grateful that I had you in my life while I was going through it."
He sat down on the grass and pulled her to sit next to him, then they laid back and looked up into the bright afternoon sky through the canopy of boras trees. When Tahiri sighed again he squeezed her fingers, enjoying the fact that she was beside him - alive - and that he hadn't lost her.
They lay together like that for a while; their positions reminding him of how they'd laid on the roof of the robotics building the night they'd met, though they were missing their forever nervously chittering astromechs. Despite the frantic tweeting from Weller, Finn, and Fiver as they'd been setting off on their trek, they'd opted to leave the neurotic droids at the encampment, needing alone time.
Finally, Dex whispered, "So…"
"Spit it out, Dexie. You're practically vibrating."
"I'd like it to go on record that I am currently perfectly still."
Tahiri snorted, and said, "In the Force Dexie. Vibrating in the Force. An untrained adept could feel you right now. Oh.. wait… you are an untrained adept..."
Dex reached over and began tickling her side as he ground out, "Don't start, you little bitch."
Tahiri squealed and Dex appreciated that she hadn't thrown him across the meadow.
"Fine…" Tahiri finally shrieked. Then, once Dex had stopped tickling her, said, "What is it you want to ask?"
"What I want to ask…" he finally said, "Is… are you sure about staying with Zonoma Sekot?"
"Ahh… Yeah, I'm sure. I think I need a break."
"You'll get no argument from me on that. You've needed a break for years. But are you sure about staying here?"
"I know I didn't do a very good job of explaining the melding…"
"You explained enough. I'm just so glad you're ok. And that you're still... you."
"But I'm not, Dexie." she whispered, as she rolled toward him and snuggled into his side. "And the reason I want to stay is that - even now - so many people… even the Jedi… are afraid of me, and maybe here…"
"I know," he sighed. "You're not just Tahiri anymore, but you're also not just Riina. I'm not arguing about you staying so much, it's that I'm concerned about Zonoma Sekot returning to the Unknown Regions and what that will mean about me seeing you. As long as I can visit, or you don't stay too long, I can deal with this.
"I understand that you need a break from the Order. And I'm really glad we've had this time together. I was nervous about going off to join Wraiths without making sure that you're still my Blondie."
"Am I?" she asked as she looked up at him. And his heart broke at the pleading in her eyes.
"Yes, you are." He said as he squeezed her to him. "You may be different, but you're still you, and I will always love you. In any form I can get you."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. But I'm not the only one. Jacen seems to be ok with the new and improved Tahiri."
Her snort at that comment made Dex happy.
"Yeah…" she finally said. "Jacen thinks you're awesome by the way."
"What makes you say that?"
"He told me."
"Did he now?"
"He did."
Dex closed his eyes and smiled, glad that he hadn't been wrong about Jacen's acceptance of Tahiri. "He's a good man, if only half Corellian. A little odd though."
"Funny. He said the same thing about you."
"That I'm odd? Or did he question my Corellian-ness."
Tahiri snorted again, but Dex cut off a verbal reply.
"I'm sure he's just jealous because I'm a full blooded Corellian, and he's only half."
Tahiri pinched his side and he laughed.
"He must think I'm odd because he suckered me into admitting that I once had a crush on his sister. Remind me to never drink or play Sabacc with him again. At least not at the same time."
Tahiri began to giggle, actually giggle - something Dex had only heard a couple times in all the years that he'd known her.
"As dangerous as playing with Jacen is, I've enjoyed getting to know him. He's a good man."
"He is."
"He thinks very highly of you." Dex continued. "Which, I have to admit, is part of why I like him."
"Well, we've known each other for a long time. And he's one of the few people I can talk about Anakin with… without it getting morbid or really sad."
"And you're the only two Jedi who've been held captive and lived to tell the tales."
"Yeah." Tahiri sighed. "Maybe one day people will look at us and not just see damaged beings who survived captivity."
"Given how horrific what you went through was… and this war was… and how kriffed up the government's perspective on the Jedi was before you saved all of our asses… I can't promise that that day will ever come. But I hope you know that the people who do know and love you see how strong you are."
"And not as a freak?"
"Oh… sweetheart… you are definitely a freak.." Dex was cut off as Tahiri began to punch his ribs. He laughed as he caught her hand and said, "But an awesome freak."
She laughed as she switched from punching him to hugging him, and Dex hugged her back.
After a while Dex said, "I went on a hike with Jacen yesterday, you know."
"I do know. Hence my knowing that he likes you."
"We talked about his captivity," Dex said quietly.
Tahiri sighed, then whispered, "I know."
"I'd heard rumors about what he went through, but… kriff."
"I know. Even worse than what I went through - and for so much longer. I'm impressed that he said anything to you about it."
"And given what Jacen told me… and what you've told me... I'm under the impression that I know more than most."
"Yeah. He doesn't talk about it with many people… I mean, he went through debriefs at first… like I did. But in terms of really talking about it… what it was like… what it did to him…"
She was silent for a long time, and Dex let her be, hoping that she'd continue, because she so rarely talked about this, and he wanted to give her the chance to really talk.
"It's sort of amazing really…" she finally whispered. "The way it's possible to sit in those sterile rooms… and tell strangers all the things that were done to you… give the facts… recount the… things… that were done, to the extent that you can remember… the chronology of the events… talk about the acts… and at no point did I ever think… or feel… that any of the beings asking me those questions… demanding that I recount every moment… actually cared about me… about me…
"How is it possible for a sentient being to listen to us recount what was done to us and still seem remote? So clinical and unaffected?"
Dex was about to say that he didn't know, or that he had to imagine that it was a defense mechanism; the only way that a feeling being could hear what had been done to her, and Jacen, and record it… without breaking down. But then… none of the beings who had conducted those debriefings had actually known, or cared, about Tahiri or Jacen.
Except Luke Skywalker. But Dex had given up on him having a soul ages ago.
Dex felt Tahiri suddenly shake herself, perhaps realizing that she'd revealed more to him about her capture than she ever had to anyone, except Anakin… or perhaps… Jacen.
"I was actually surprised..." she said, suddenly bright and cheerful, as though she hadn't just been reliving the torture she'd endured.
And Dex got a heartbreaking glimpse into how good an actress she was, and at how good she was at burying her pain.
"...that Jace… Jacen told you what he told you. And the whole oddness thing… It's been weeks, but he's still trying to deal with what happened during the final battle."
"Yeah," Dex sighed. "At least the haunted look has begun to fade. And he's started smiling. He doesn't seem quite so…" Dex tried to find the right word to describe how disturbing Jacen's manner had been when he'd first arrived. Haunted fit, though he wished it didn't. "Maybe he should stay here with you. If anyone needs to relax and deal with the shit he's gone through it's Jacen."
"I suggested it, because I'm worried about him going off on his own."
"And he shot down your suggestion?"
"Yeah. We've spent a lot of time together since I've been here, and I think he talks to me more, or in a different way, than he talks to anyone else, but he seems to think that he needs time away from everything. To process what he's been through and figure out what he wants to do with his life."
Dex stroked her back as he said, "I think we all do. It's been a kriffed up five years."
"There you are." Jacen Solo said as he approached them. "I was beginning to think you may have gotten lost."
Tahiri sat up instantly and smiled brilliantly. "Hey, Jace. We finished our survey and were just talking."
Dex watched the other man smile at Tahiri, again noting that he was looking more present and less 'haunted' by the day.
"I'm glad," Jacen said. "I know you two have needed time together, and I'm sorry to interrupt, but Harrar has been waiting for you Tahiri… he seems to think it's going to rain soon. And crazy as this sounds…" he said, a half smile on his face, "he seems to think that you have some rainmaking ability. But you know… he is a priest."
Tahiri leapt up and grabbed Jacen's hand, turning to walk backwards as she called out, "C'mon, Dexie."
"I'll be right there," Dex said, as he watched Tahiri turn and skip off, dragging Jacen behind her. He smiled again, watching the two of them, wondering if it was his imagination… or, the Force… that was telling him something was there.
He continued to watch them as Tahiri laughed and poked Jacen, watched the way Jacen looked at her as he bumped his hip against hers as they walked and talked.
Hmm. Jacen and Blondie?
Interesting…
Jedi Temple and Training Complex, Ossus
Miss Tahiri's Youngling Class, 6 and 7 yr olds
32 ABY
2 Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War
Jacen approached the observation window of the training room, the scene on the other side erasing some of the foul mood he'd been in and bringing a smile to his face.
It had never crossed his mind that Tahiri would have any desire to teach, let alone be good at it. Yet here she was instructing small children on how to touch the Force, levitate things, use lightsabers. Or... practice blades anyway.
Evidently she'd made it a condition of taking on this age group that her students would not use live blades. She'd known that Jacen still harbored tremendous guilt over his and Tenel Ka's training accident and wanted nothing to do with being involved in a similar situation. One of the other conditions of her teaching was that it would be temporary. She had every intention of running missions like the rest of the knights once she and the Council felt she'd fully reacclimated after spending years on Zonoma Sekot. She'd reasoned that the kids' overall education wouldn't be severely hampered by being denied real lightsabers for the few months they'd be spending with her.
The other reason she'd refused to teach kids this young to handle a deadly weapon had to do with the fact that she'd made her own first kill with a lightsaber at only fourteen. Jacen knew that she still occasionally dreamt of Mezzhan Kwaad's death, and while she didn't regret decapitating the insane Shaper after she'd cut into Tahiri's brain and tortured her, she did believe that killing the woman had changed her every bit as much as the shaping itself had, and the idea of putting a live blade into a small child's hand filled her with horror.
Tahiri was leading her class in a telekinesis lesson now. The fact that she could get, and keep, the kids focused through all of their shrieking was impressive. And they were clearly succeeding in the task; which was to pelt Dex Wessiri with lightweight orbs as he ran around the room, pretending to dodge, pretending to be hurt, theatrically calling for help. Occasionally he'd pluck a ball out of the air - pelting the kids with them, causing more laughter.
Jacen was pleased to see Tahiri laughing with the kids. He'd also been pleased to find, when he returned from his two year sojourn, that she was happier and more at peace than he could remember her being since before the war. They'd spent a lot of time together since he'd been back; talking, sparring, dueling, just hanging out… getting caught up on cultural and galactic events they'd missed while they'd both been away.
And gossiping.
They'd been having a great time gossiping about their mutual friends, the family, members of the Order in general, the Council in particular. Tahiri was the only person he'd really discussed his frustrations with, the only one who seemed to understand the danger Jacen saw the Order going into if they refused to address the psychic damage that had been to the younger knights during the war. Of course Tahiri was the only other living knight who'd been a POW, and Luke, and most of the Council members, weren't any more likely to listen to her on this than they were to him.
Thankfully, he and Tahiri had also spent a lot of time together laughing. He had forgotten how funny she was, and how much fun she could be.
Dex dove onto the padded floor and covered his head as he wailed, calling to MissTahiri for help. The kids thought this was hilarious, many of them pouncing on him and losing their concentration as he began to tickle them and toss them around. When the last of the orbs had landed on the floor Dex shot his arms into the air, declaring victory over his 'miniature Jedi adversaries', which sent the kids into more fits of giggles.
Amazingly it only took a few minutes for Tahiri to rein everyone in, get the room tidied, and have the group sitting on the floor to begin the lesson-ending calming exercise. She then instructed the children to thank 'Mister' Wessiri for his help and they called out goodbyes as Dex made his way to the door, whistling for Weller, Finn and Fiver to follow him.
Jacen had met Dex a few times after his return from captivity, but it wasn't until after the Liberation of Coruscant that they had really bonded, when they'd both spent time on Zonoma Sekot before Dex had left the planet to join the Wraiths and Jacen had begun his quest to study with other Force using groups, and Jacen thought the world of the other man. It was partly because Dex was smart, funny, and incredibly hard working. But more than that it was his compassion, and nearly pathological loyalty to anyone he decided was worthy, and in Dex's mind, Tahiri was worthy. Jacen had eventually realized that it had been Dex's presence on Borealis that had held Tahiri together after Mykyr.
Whether it was always clear to Tahiri or not, all of the Solos loved her. But in those first weeks after Anakin's death and Jacen's capture they'd been so consumed by their own grief, and fighting to stay alive, that they hadn't done nearly as much as Dex had to keep her anchored. In fact, Jacen suspected it was because of Dex that there was still so much 'Tahiri' to Tahiri, and for that Jacen would always be grateful.
Jacen had actually been shocked when he'd learned that she hadn't seen Dex yet when Jacen got back. She'd only returned to the Order a few weeks before him, and Dex had decided to delay coming to see her so that he could bank more leave time and allow himself more than just a couple of days with her. Jacen had declined their invitation to spend the evening with them the night before, wanting to give them time to catch up after not seeing each since they'd said goodbye on Zonoma Sekot. Dex had been as adamant as Tahiri that he join them though, and the three had had a blast. They'd sat on the floor of Tahiri's room for hours laughing and passing a couple dozen food containers back and forth.
They'd been on their third round of drinks, Dex and Tahiri on their second shrub stick, when Dex gave up on Tahiri making a decision on what she wanted to eat, grabbing her data pad and ordering from multiple restaurants. He teased Tahiri mercilessly about being too high to pick a single cuisine. She defended herself by saying she wasn't that high, just couldn't decide because she hadn't had decent Corellian or Ithorian in years. Or Alderaanian… or Mon Calamari, which is why Dex, forever indulgent, had ordered all four.
"Hey man," Dex greeted as he cleared the door and pulled it shut behind him and the droids. "You enjoy the show?"
Jacen smiled at him. "You never fail to impress; you can command fighter squadrons, run intel ops, soothe heartbroken teenage girls, calm neurotic abandoned droids, and entertain and teach Force sensitive younglings… Why are you still single?"
Dex snorted and playfully punched Jacen's arm. "Jerk. And why in the stars I ever admitted to that crush I had on Jaina is beyond me."
"If memory serves - alcohol and Sabaac were involved. But don't worry, your secret's safe with me… and Kyp."
"You're both jerks. Let's just make sure Jag never finds out. I don't want any weirdness."
"Don't worry, we're sworn to secrecy. Besides, Jag's doing you a favor… I love her, but Jaina's a pain in the ass."
"She's Corellian, that's how we breed our women. But enough about your sister, how was your meeting with the Council?"
Dex started laughing before Jacen could even answer.
Much of the previous night's conversation had been speculation on why Jacen and Tahiri had both been scheduled to appear before the Council that day. She was sure that her summons had been for the purpose of reporting on the progress of her class and discussing how much longer she would teach before resuming missions. She was also sure that Jacen was being summoned to discuss his taking on an apprentice.
He'd thought that that was crazy. He'd only been back for a few weeks and had spent most of that time trying to convince Luke that he should be taking a different approach with the Order - should be paying closer attention to the psychic trauma they had suffered during the war and needed to change how they approached things. Or maybe he was being summoned so that Kenth Hamner, Kyle Katarn, and Corran Horn could lecture him once again about not letting being 'the great hero of the war' go to his head, or to accuse him of being soft and regaling him with stories about how they hadn't needed therapy or to talk about their feelings after the Rebellion had ended, and that the younger knights needed to 'rock the kriff up and soldier through'.
The very fact that one of them had actually used that phrase, and that Luke hadn't understood why it bothered Jacen so much, was telling.
Jacen's other theory was that he was being summoned for a mission assignment, joking that Kenth and Kyle would have picked something really dangerous as a way of getting rid of him.
He'd been wrong, about both the lecture and the assignment.
Shaking his head he said to Dex, "She," pointing to Tahiri through the window as she dismissed the kids and began making her way to the door, "is gonna gloat like mad."
"Gloat?" Dex asked gleefully. "I can't imagine Blondie ever gloating over winning a bet. But look, here she comes, let's see if I'm wrong."
"Wrong about what?" Tahiri asked as she entered the hall.
"I'm not positive, but I think you may have won that bet with Jacen."
Tahiri bounced on her toes and clapped her hands, then took a running jump and threw her arms around Jacen's neck. He laughed as he caught her and she chanted, "Told you so, told you so," before he dropped her back to the ground.
"Jacen's first apprentice! Can I throw you a shower? We can do a cake, and party games… and get you all the things you'll need to take care of it. At least you won't need diapers or a crib…"
By the time she got the crib part out she was laughing too hard to go on.
"We don't know who he's getting." Dex finally got out through his own laughter. "Maybe he will need the crib."
Tahiri eventually calmed down enough to say, "Sorry. But you were so adamant last night. How could I not tease?" She took a couple of breaths, then said, "Okay… who does Luke want you to take on? Anyone I know?"
Jacen sighed, then said, "Yes, as a matter of fact, you do know him. Which is why I came to find you. I was going to ask your opinion but clearly you aren't going to take this seriously."
"Oh lighten up," she said as she slapped her hand against his chest. "I'm perfectly capable of teasing you and giving you a serious opinion at the same time. I'm an excellent multi-tasker."
Jacen shook his head then said, "They want me to train Valin Horn."
Tahiri's eyes widened then she clapped a hand over her mouth to contain more laughter.
Dex didn't bother. He laughed out loud again, then slapped Jacen's shoulder and squeezed. "Good luck man, you're gonna need it..."
"Kriff. Should I say no?"
Tahiri shook her head as she tried to catch her breath. Finally she said, "Yes. I mean no."
Jacen rolled his eyes as Tahiri worked to calm herself.
"Sorry," she finally said. "I mean, I don't think you should say no to Luke, I'm just surprised. I was expecting him to give you one of the younger teenagers. Valin's my age."
"Yeah," Dex said, suddenly serious as he gave Tahiri a pointed look, which instantly turned her mirth into a scowl. "But unlike you, Valin didn't spend the war on the front lines."
Tahiri rolled her eyes dismissively, then tilted her head towards the door out of the building, gesturing for them to follow her as she began walking down the hall. The two men flanked her, Dex whistling to the droids to follow as well.
As they exited the building and slowly made their way through the gardens, towards the dorms, Tahiri said, "Ok, in all seriousness, you wanted my opinion. Valin is a good guy, but he's young, or immature. I've been hanging out with him and Jysella since I got back, and even though I was Corran's apprentice, for about 10 minutes anyway, I've only just begun to appreciate how hard having Corran for a father is."
"Kid's got good shrub though," Dex interrupted.
"Fabulous." Jacen groaned. "I suppose I should be glad he isn't dealing spice… given the family."
"No!" Tahiri wailed, clearly horrified. "He's not dealing, he just knows where to get good shrub..."
Jacen snorted. "So I wasn't wrong about the family connections?"
Tahiri rolled her eyes and shook her head, but didn't say anything so Jacen got serious again.
"And I shouldn't tell Luke no?"
"No."
Interestingly this came from Dex, not Tahiri, and Jacen was immediately intrigued. Looking over Tahiri's head to Dex he said, "Care to elaborate? It hadn't occurred to me that you really knew him. Or are you just saying this because the idea of me being tasked with an unruly apprentice is entertaining to you?"
Dex smirked at him, then grew frighteningly serious. "Blondie's right; having Corran for a father can not have been easy. But Valin's actually a good kid. I think that if you can lay down the law early, rein him in… He needs someone with enough compassion and patience to figure out what drives his tendency to act out, help him understand it, and learn how to control himself. Clearly I have no issue with partying, but there's a time and a place for everything. My… instinct... tells me that you'd be good for Valin."
Tahiri began to snicker, then said, "Instinct, Dexie?"
"You're such a bitch sometimes."
She turned to Jacen, still laughing. "In all your travels, did you ever come across a group who referred to it as 'instinct' instead of 'the Force'?"
She laughed harder when Dex grabbed her around the waist, pinning her back to his side and lifting her with one arm, using his other hand to cover her mouth, all without breaking stride. It was particularly funny because even though Dex was Force-sensitive, he'd never trained, and Tahiri was not only highly trained, but had years of experience in hand to hand combat. If she stopped giggling, and wanted to, she could flatten Dex pretty quickly. His being more than twice her mass notwithstanding.
"Have you asked Kyp for his opinion?" Dex asked, while he tickled Tahiri and she squealed.
Shaking his head at their antics Jacen said, "Yeah. Kyp said he couldn't imagine anything that would make him want to take a Horn kid on as an apprentice."
Tahiri mumbled something into Dex's palm. He groaned and wiped his hand on her cheek, then dropped her and pushed her away.
She stuck her tongue out at him then said to Jacen, "That's ok. I'll probably get Sel anyway. Why don't I comm Valin? Invite him to hang out with us tonight so you can spend some time with him?"
"Thank you, but… no. If, and it's still a big if, I decide to do this, Dex is right; it seems I'll have my work cut out for me in terms of setting boundaries for him. I'd rather spend time with him in a less relaxed setting first. Handing him an ale while he's smoking a shrub stick the first time we spend time together is not the way to do that."
"There'll be plenty of time for ales and shrub later," Dex grinned, then his commlink began to ping. Pulling it out of his pocket and looking at the thing, he scowled. "Excuse me…" he said as he stepped away. The words 'I'm on vacation, you kriffer…' were all Jacen heard before he turned back to Tahiri.
"So…" Jacen said. "Any more insight or nuggets of wisdom? Not related to cribs or how to party with him?"
Suddenly very serious, she said, "As a matter of fact, yes," then stepped off the path, making her way to a bench just a few meters away.
Jacen followed and sat next to her.
"Dexie's right; Valin is a good kid.. man. No," she said, tilting her head. "Not really a man, yet. But I have this feeling that with your help, he could be a very good man." Then her demeanor changed; her expression even more serious and Jacen waited; giving her time to organize her thoughts.
"He was with us, you know? On Yavin… when I was captured."
Jacen nodded as he reached over and took her hand, gently squeezing her fingers. She squeezed back, then laid her head on his shoulder. He rubbed his thumb back and forth across hers while he waited for her to go on.
"Valin has a lot of potential, but as wonderful as Corran can be, he's…"
"Rigid?" Jacen suggested, after she'd trailed off.
"Yeah." Tahiri conceded. "And as kriffed up as our experiences during the war were, I think it would be wrong to underestimate how hard it was for the kids left behind... sent to the Maw, and that's part of why I think you'd be good for Valin." Tahiri sat back up and looked at Jacen. "You know what it's like to be left with other people so your parents can go off to save the galaxy."
Jacen nodded and let his eyes drift shut as he made the connection; began to understand what Tahiri was trying to say.
"Valin's got abandonment issues?"
"That's my take on it. And, like Anakin - like you - I suspect he feels guilty for being angry. Valin loves Kam and Tionne… but as we all know, being cared for by people who are 'like parents' isn't the same as being cared for by parents."
He squeezed her hand again.
The other big topics they'd been discussing since he'd been back were Han and Leia, and the concept of 'parents' and 'family'. Jacen hadn't been surprised to hear that Anakin and Tahiri had engaged in conversations about Han and Leia's parenting… it was the depth and complexity of Anakin's discussions with Tahiri, at such a young age, that had stunned him. Then there was the added surprise of finding out from Tahiri that Anakin had had the same conflicted feelings about their childhood that Jacen had; even before Sernpidal.
They'd also discussed Tahiri's feelings about Han and Leia. While she loved them very much, and knew they loved her, she was convinced that in their eyes she'd always just be their dead son's pathetic little girlfriend.
On top of those heavy conversations had been the debates Jacen and Tahiri had had about what made up a family; whether it had anything to do with DNA, or was more about the people one made bonds with - felt mentally and emotionally connected to. Both of them, at various points during these conversations, had taken different sides, based on both Tahiri's experiences of being orphaned, several times over, and Jacen's understanding of his own family's supremely kriffed up experiences of 'family'.
"Anyway, I feel…" she smiled evilly at Jacen as Dex sat on the other side of her, having finished his comm call, "or maybe … call it instinct," Dex thumped her head and she chuckled before continuing, serious again, "I feel that you could be an important part of Valin working through some of the things he needs to work through, and finding his potential. And the fact that Luke, and Corran, would ask this of you, given how vocal you've been about how they're handling things, handling us… maybe that's a sign that you're breaking through."
"Maybe," Jacen said, nodding. "But I'm not going to count on it. This could just be a ploy to shut me up so they don't have to listen."
"Either way, I can't see any downside for Valin if he gets to spend time with you. I really do think you should do it."
Jacen squeezed her hand and smiled. He was beginning to feel that Tahiri was right, and that his taking on Valin was inevitable. And the right thing to do.
Jacen let his head fall back for a minute, then sighed. "I'm gonna be honest, after being free-range for two years… the idea of living in the Temple dorm rooms permanently is really unappealing. And since there are no open suites, that's exactly what will end up happening if I'm going to have to keep a close eye on Valin."
"What happened to all that bonus pay you two got for being war heroes?" Dex asked. "Use your creds to buy a house so you don't have to live on Temple grounds. Unless of course you've blown it all on shrub and hookers."
Tahiri elbowed him in the gut. "Kriffer… you know I don't need hookers."
Jacen laughed with Dex, then said, "A house off campus isn't a terrible idea." Turning to Tahiri he asked, "If I find a big enough place would you live with us?"
"Are you kidding? I was free range for two years too, had my own hut and everything. I'm not only moving in, I'll contribute my war hero bonus to the down payment. It's not like I've spent any of it."
"To Happy House!" Dex declared, slapping his hands and rubbing them together. "I'm only here for nine more days so we should start looking immediately." He looked from Tahiri to Jacen, then said, "What? It was my idea, and I need a place to stay when I'm off duty. I've gotta make sure there's room for me."
Next time on Fear and Love...
How are our heroes dealing with the explosive events of Season 4?