Well, we, Tens and Taurus or Taurus and Tens, are at it again. This time we have a very mocking story. It was not intended to hurt anyone, possibly Steve, but hat's not to say it won't, so apologies galore before we get started. Moving on, though, we hope everyone enjoys!
Parody: Defined as mocking or making fun of a plot and/or its characters.
The Mary Sue: Defined as any girl added to the plot that is too good to be true and will get into trouble, be loved by all and fall in love with someone who can never love her back at some point. In short, a total drama queen. - Well, they run rampant in this section and we can't speak for everyone, but we're kind of sick of those kinds of stories, so here's our take on how anyone sane would see a Mary Sue.
But, knowing us, it had to be a parody of sorts. So sit back, relax and prepare to either shake your head or cry tears of laughter. Well, not this chapter, but the next one!
Disclaimer: We own any random characters and that's about it.
On with the show!
Chapter one: One 'normal' day
It started out as one of those normal days, I guess. We were all gathered at the Curtis' house just hanging out like we always did. Darry was sitting in his chair re-reading the newspaper, Ponyboy had his head buried in a book, Johnny was sitting beside him not really doing anything while Two-Bit was working hard on getting drunk and Dallas was nowhere to be found. I grinned at Soda across the carpet and laid out a pair of tens. He smirked back before laying down all four aces. I frowned. He seemed to be cheating at every hand today and they always came up as aces. I sighed tiredly and decided I would have to do something about it.
"Sodapop, I hate to call you a cheat, but I happen to have an ace."
"Well, if you are going to call me a cheat, you'd better be able to defend yourself." Sodapop grinned
And with that we were wrestling. This was what happened after every hand. You'd think Sodapop wouldn't have any energy left. I was quickly tiring out and Soda kept beating me. That was really starting to bug me.
"Boy, Stevie. You sure aren't hard to beat today," Sodapop pointed out smiling
"Yeah, well, we don't normally stick out a game of cards this long," I commented and Soda gave me a blank look "It's been hours."
"What else do we do besides go to work and take the girls out?"
It was my turn to frown at him. He made it sound like we did the same thing all the time. Why just yesterday we had played football and the day before that we had been showing off for the girls over at the Dingo. Not to mention we were going to a party over near Brumly turf this weekend.
"Plenty of things," I answered
"I think I may have hurt you with that last wrestling match." Soda truly looked concerned before his face lit up "Want to go have a pillow fight in my bedroom?"
"No," I answered thinking it was Soda who had knocked his head during that match
"Would you two cut it out?" Darry asked tiredly "I worked all day and all I want to do is read about sports and I can't concentrate on that when all I can hear is you two."
"But, you didn't work today," I reminded him "It's your day off."
Both Soda and Darry looked at me oddly then. What? It was barely 2 in the afternoon. He hadn't even had time to put in a full shift and come home. Not to mention he'd cooked us all breakfast and lunch.
"Darry was a work all day," Soda stated "All he ever has time for is work and reading the paper."
"And I yell at Ponyboy," Darry added "Ponyboy! Get your head out of that book and go do some homework!"
"Aw, Darry! It was just getting to the good part!" Ponyboy whined, but he got up and went into his bedroom anyways
"How can he have homework? It's the middle of July!" I was flabbergasted.
"You're right. He should have been done it last month. I'm a horrible guardian for letting him off about it! Now I have to go yell at him," Darry declared before getting up to do just that
"Nice going, Steve. Now Ponyboy and Darry are both going to want me to take sides and I can't do that anymore!" Soda nearly cried
"What?" I was so damned confused "Soda, why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like 'hick' what?" Two-Bit slurred coming into the room from where he was passed out on the kitchen floor
"Not like his normal self," I stated
"Aww, good old Sodapop is jus' fine," Two-Bit slurred, leaning on Soda who was still looking close to tears
"Yeah, Sodapop isn't the one acting strange Steve, it's you who's acting crazy like."
Now this I wouldn't believe. Not only was I being accused of being crazy, but it was Johnny Cade who was doing the accusing. He never spoke like that and it wasn't often we could get more than two words out of him at a given time as it was.
"It's just not him, Johnny," I stated "You and Darry and Ponyboy are all acting weird."
"How am I acting weird?" Johnny asked "Never mind, maybe if we ignore him he'll stop acting so funny. Now, who wants to hear the speech I'm writing for the debate team this fall? I'm their new captain."
I blinked but didn't have a chance to point out how weird that was before Dallas came crashing through the door looking like the fires of hell were on his tail.
"Dallas, what's wrong?" I asked getting set to rush off into some fight
"You won't believe this," Dallas puffed as both Darry and Ponyboy came sliding into the living room
"Is there a fight?" I asked and Dallas gave me a strange look, just like everyone else
"What makes you think I would rush over here just to tell you about something like a little old fight?" he asked
"Well, I – "
"Don't worry about him, Dal," Johnny sighed, "He's been acting strange today. Now, you said we wouldn't believe something?"
"Oh! Yes! I had something more important than a fight to tell you about. I just –" Dallas stopped abruptly and tried to look tough and uncaring "I ran into this chick in the park. She beat up a dozen Socs and didn't even have to fix her makeup afterwards. She was perfect and all that."
"With blonde hair and big brown eyes?" Johnny asked and Dallas nodded "I've seen her too. I can see why you would be in love with her."
"I'm not in love with her," Dallas answered but there was a lack of conviction in his voice that wasn't like Dallas at all "Why would you assume that?"
"Because I'm in love with her," Johnny replied and everyone nodded like that made perfect sense.
"Johnny doesn't even like girls!" I yelped, " He's too shy to even talk to one. Let alone Dally falling in love!"
"I'm not in love," Dallas informed me while everyone else looked at me like I had really lost it with that comment
"Johnny always falls in love with who Dally does," Soda said "You know that."
"I am not in love!"
"Soda, Steve is obviously high or something," Darry stated sitting down in his chair "Let's just ignore him. I want to finish this paper at least twice more before tomorrow's comes."
"Darry's right. You need to clear your head, Steve," Ponyboy put in before turning back towards his bedroom and supposed homework
Two-Bit flicked on the TV and everyone was drawn to it. I was feeling like I was in a movie or a bad dream or something. Johnny glanced over at me, but Soda shook his head and Johnny was obliged to look back at the TV again.
"I need some air," I declared reaching for the door handle just as someone knocked on it.
Well, there you have it, the end of the first chapter. Who could possibly be at the door? Is everyone pulling a fast one on Steve? Are they all truly insane? Is this tuning into the Crazy Pickle Story all over again?
Tune in next chapter to find out!
Taurus and Tens.