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Chapter Ten

Marita lay beneath Sean, enraptured by his kisses - igniting her senses, marking her soul. Long ago, her robe had faded away, leaving nothing but the thin cotton gown between her body and his heated touch. He was now loosening it's clasps, passionately kissing her neck and chest.

"Sean" she gasped as her fingers coiled in his hair

Marita knew that she always loved Sean, always wanted him, with every ounce of her being, but she never imagined his touch could stir such intense feelings within her. Their mouths again melded together, both moaning at the sweet pleasure the gesture brought on. Coming up for air, Sean lovingly kissed her nose, then her forehead, deeply inhaling her alluring scent.

"I love you" he murmured, staring into her eyes

"I love you" she answered softly

Sean knew that he needed to stop, to rein in his desires, but his need for her was overpowering his logic. He again took her mouth, then moved to deepen the already ardent kiss, when he heard noises - horses. He ceased.

"What is it?" Marita whispered passionately, not detecting what Sean had heard

"Horses…it has to be pa" he said as he reluctantly freed himself from her grasp. "They're back early"

"Oh no…" Marita said, horrified by the thought of her father catching them in such a compromising position "You have to get out of here, if my father…"

"I know" Sean interjected, not needing her to finish "I didn't mean for things to…" he continued as he helped her from the couch.

"Don't apologize" she whispered as she held his gaze, quietly expressing how much she wanted him. She knew that it was reckless to behave in such a manner, but she could no longer deny what she felt for him. "Now you have to get out of here" she continued as the horses drew closer. "Come on" She led him out of the room and down the hall to a large window at the back of the house.

As Sean began climbing out, he suddenly stopped, having one foot planted on the floor inside, while the other rested on the grass outside. "I should confess…" he announced, smiling broadly "We should confess…right now"

"Sean!" Marita whispered fiercely, hardly able to thwart his contagious smile. "That is not funny considering the circumstances, now please…go."

"As you wish," he said still smiling as he moved to exit through the window, "but I'm not letting this go" he again stopped, then shocked her by taking a quick deep taste of her lips. Before Marita could recover or respond to his loving gesture, Sean had vanished into the warm night.

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Sean ascended the back steps of his family's home, still flying over what had occurred with Marita. He didn't go to her to profess his love; he went there to apologize for his recent behavior. After their near kiss in the park, he'd deliberately shut her out, attempting to shut off his own feelings and respect what he thought she wanted, but it only served to make things worse – more tense, which in turn left him restless. He had to do something. He needed her in his life so much. So, he decided to pay her a visit and what a visit it was. Sean trembled at the arousing heat that rushed through him when he thought of Marita in his arms. He was so tired of hiding what he felt for her, that's why he'd suggested they confess all; though he was smiling when he voiced the idea, he was serious; he hated the thought of returning to a situation of anxiety and secrecy, especially after what had happened earlier, but he knew that was the only way, until they decided on what was next. He quietly entered the rear foyer of the house, then closed the door behind him, when he turned to proceed towards the stairs, he was startled to find he was not alone in the hall.

"Sean! What are you doing out at this hour?" Ned asked, confused by his son coming in so late.

Sean was stunned speechless by his father's sudden appearance. He was certain he would make it to the house before him, with his pa having to put away the horses, but his father must've opted to let Isaac handle that task, leaving him to enter the house earlier than expected.

"Pa" he finally said "You gave me a start. I thought you weren't due back until tomorrow."

"We finished a day early… what are you doing up?" Ned asked again

"I…I thought I heard a noise…out back and went to check it out" he lied, disliking having to mislead his father.

Ned looked at Sean with severe skepticism. Sean didn't look prepared to accost an intruder. His hair was a mess, his shirt was almost completely unbuttoned and he looked…flushed. All of which could be attributed to him leaving his bed to check things out, but he hadn't even carried a rifle. Ned couldn't help but to think of Isaac's concerns over Marita and Sean being alone at the ranch for the past couple of weeks.

"Why didn't you take a ri…"

"Did you find anything?" Jeremy asked, as he suddenly joined them in the hallway, interrupting Ned's question. He'd been on his way to the kitchen for a drink of water when he heard Ned ask Sean about his late entrance.

Bewildered, but catching on quickly, Sean answered "No"

"Good" Jeremy said as he observed Ned's tired, but still suspicious expression "Sean and I were awakened by a noise and he advised me to stay in the house while he investigated." He explained casually, convincingly.

Jeremy's corroabation of Sean's story eased Ned's suspicions – somewhat, but he still felt that there was more going on than either was letting on.

"So how was your trip?" Sean asked, noticing his father's now incautious mood and using that to steer his father's mind away from his late entrance.

"It went well…" Ned answered tiredly, distractedly "I'll tell you about it later…I'm exhausted and am going to head to bed… you two should do the same."

"Yes sir" Sean and Jeremy affirmed, both feeling weird about their harmonious response.

"Well…Goodnight" Ned said cautiously, he still found the situation a little suspect, but he was too tired to push things any further.

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When Sean was certain his father was safely up the stairs, he turned his attention to Jeremy.

"Thank you…for backing up my story."

"You're welcome" Jeremy answered, then turned to go himself

"Why did you do it?" Sean asked, causing him to turn back

"You were in a tight spot and needed some help."

Sean gave Jeremy a doubtful look, obviously not buying his explanation. "I don't believe you" he said solemnly

Jeremy stood there a moment, quiet, unsure if he should confess what he was certain Sean had no idea he knew. When he heard Sean explaining to Ned why he was out so late, Jeremy knew that it was untrue, for he had been up for hours and had heard nothing…he then realized that Sean's excuse was likely a cover to hide a visit he'd made to Marita.

"Look I…" Jeremy said with hesitation, shifting uncomfortably "I know about you and Marita."

Instantly, Sean was floored by Jeremy's statement. For a moment he did not know how to respond, then finally he asked "How?"

"I've seen the way you look at her…it's obvious you care for her very much."

Sean looked away, immediately overcome with alarm and uneasiness. He couldn't believe that he had been so careless with his emotions around Marita, that Jeremy, a kid, had figured them out. He silently worriedly who else might have observed his affection towards her.

"Don't worry, I don't think anyone else knows." Jeremy said, appearing to read Sean's mind. Sean returned his gaze, still speechless, not sure how to respond. "Your secret is safe with me." he continued "I know what it's like…to love…to need such a secret to remain …quiet."

"Thank you" Sean finally managed with relief and slight confusion.

"It's nothing" Jeremy replied earnestly.

Silence –

"Well…I'm going to…" he thumbed behind him, indicating he was going back to bed.

"Go" Sean asserted, then watched as Jeremy disappeared down the hall. He still didn't know what to make of Jeremy knowing about him and Marita. Jeremy didn't even bat an eye lash when he stated that he knew, which caused Sean to think that maybe he didn't have an issue with their relationship. Despite that, Sean still wasn't comfortable with him knowing the truth. Though Jeremy had sincerely promised to keep it a secret and strangely, even spoke of knowing what it was like to have to use such discretion, Sean didn't like the idea of a boy, whom he'd only known for a few months, being aware of something so personal about him, but what could he do? For now, he'd have to hope and pray that Jeremy was as trustworthy as he claimed and that no one else, namely someone outside of the family, had picked up on his feelings for Marita.

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Several days later…

While the Logan family looked on with pride as Sean addressed the masses, reiterating what Clancy had previously declared, that the hospital would help the community of Lexington, Jeremy quietly slipped away, melting into the crowd around them. He knew that it was risky, but this was the first time in days he'd had the opportunity to see her. He knew that the Logans would be busy celebrating Sean's accomplishment, so he decided to pay her a visit, after all, her home was just down the way from the groundbreaking ceremony. After emerging from the crowd of people spread over the land in which the hospital would eventually be erect, Jeremy made his way passed the horses and buggies of the patrons who had come to the event. As he continued his trek, passing people who were on their way to the site behind him, he was unaware that trailing him, several yards back, was someone silently taking the same path.

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Sean stood immobile, shaking hands, engaging in senseless chatter as an endless parade of dignitaries and constitutes congratulated him on the hospital's groundbreaking. Though he was bored and preoccupied, he was proud of the accomplishment, and it gave him deep satisfaction to know that he was helping people and that they genuinely appreciated what he was doing. However, it was nothing compared to the high he felt when he was in the presence of Marita. Just the thought of her left him heated and agog. It had been days since they'd almost made love in her father's sitting room, and since then they'd had virtually no time to talk. She had been extremely busy working on projects for his pa, finishing up her work on the hospital initiative, and tutoring her students, and he had been overwhelmed with several small projects related to the hospital construction, his tobacco crop and other city issues. He so desperately wanted to see her, to talk to her about what was next, now that they had fully opened their hearts to one another, but naturally, life had gotten in the way. Sean smoothly scanned the crowd when his attention was not required elsewhere. He'd seen Marita earlier, right across the way, when he was giving his speech, but now he could not spot her anywhere.

"Sean" someone said behind him. He reluctantly turned away from his search for Marita and greeted the prominent constitutes who wanted to speak with him.

"Mr. Chambers, Mr. Wilhelm" Sean said as he shook their hands "Glad you could make it."

"Thank you and congratulations on your success" Mr. Chambers said

"Yes, outstanding accomplishment and in such a short time" Mr. Wilhelm said

"Well, I couldn't have done it without such amazing people around me" Sean said, still thinking of Marita.

"So how long before the place is up and running?"

"Probably a year or so. You know we're really excited that this new facility will be providing services for persons who don't have the proper healthcare."

"Well, not everyone who doesn't have healthcare" Chambers laughed knowingly

"No" Sean responded firmly, knowing exactly what Chambers was getting at. "This facility will accommodate all walks of life no matter their ethnicity."

Chambers and Wihelm looked horrified at that prospect. "You can't be serious" Chambers said tightly "There are no laws requiring that Negroes be given medical attention in the same facilities as whites."

"And there are no laws forbidding it" Sean countered "I see no reason why everyone can't receive the help they need even if it's in the same facility."

"Well this issue won't be any of your concern Mr. Logan, once the hospital is built. You are after all the Deputy Director of Regional Affairs. Once the hospital is in service, the board of directors will make such decisions."

Sean was seething, but retained a cool exterior. The reason why he'd worked so hard on getting the hospital project was because he knew that the majority of the people that needed affordable, but quality healthcare were the minorities who worked in and around the city. He didn't fight this hard to have it be destroyed by a couple of close-minded aristocrats who'd probably never use the hospital.

"I will fight any move to ban minorities from getting the medical attention they need at this facility." Sean stated decisively

"You fight this and you can forget about anymore monies being contributed to the hospital building fund." Chambers asserted

"You would actually cease or withdraw funds from the project if I proceed with this?"

"Absolutely" Wilhelm answered "I will not fund a facility that will house and help the likes of those people. And I'm certain that when other potential investors learn of your plans they will follow my lead."

Sean was flabbergasted. There was nothing more he could say. Chambers and Wilhelm were right, if they withdrew their money from the project others would follow suit, which would result in the hospital not getting built. The city did not have the funds to build the hospital out of its own budget, that's why they were soliciting the monies of private citizens.

"I'm sure you are right" Sean conceded indignantly "Forgive my ignorance." He knew that this was not the place to launch a campaign for who would receive healthcare and who wouldn't, but no matter these gentlemen's power, he wasn't going to give up on this issue. He was going to find a way to achieve what he fully envisioned for the hospital.

"Quite alright" Chambers said "You are young and are new to the world of politics, but you must be careful with such displays of …cordiality and concern for the Negroes, otherwise you will find yourself out of office and out of business."

It took everything in Sean not to tell Chambers and Wilhelm what he really thought of them and their money, but he knew it was better for himself as well as the city of Lexington to hold his tongue. They would know soon enough that he didn't give up so easily.

"Now how is your father" Wilhelm pronounced, casually changing the subject

As Sean answered the two gentlemen, feigning conviviality, a couple of feet away Marita stood, glued to the spot in which she was standing, astonished by what she'd just heard. When she saw that Sean was alone, she had decided to walk over and congratulate him on his accomplishment; she admitted that she had come over to be close to him, to talk to him, something that had not transpired since a few nights earlier, but when she was only steps away from garnering his attention, Sean was approached by two prominent figures of the community. She then turned to a nearby table, pretending to be deciding on a pastry, while Sean had a brief, she hoped, conversation with the gentlemen. It was then that she heard their discussion. Marita had not forgotten the world that she and Sean lived in, she knew that most people would not be happy to see them together, however, after working so closely with him she'd been deluded, by people accepting them together – accepting their working relationship, into thinking that maybe they could have a future together. How naïve and stupid, she thought. The world was not ready to accept her with Sean, not in the way in which she wanted. They were alright with her being his subordinate, but nothing more, and if she and Sean tried to pursue anything beyond that, it was clear, just based on what she'd just heard, that Sean would be ruined. Though the gentlemen were referring to the service provided at the hospital, she knew that those same views applied to what she and Sean had – probably even more so to that. Marita closed her eyes, fighting the crushing pain that filled her heart. The hopelessness she felt was threatening to reveal itself through rivers of tears. She suddenly felt ill and a stifling heat washed over her, causing her to feel faint. She gently leaned against a nearby tree, struggling to gather her breath, her balance. She had to get out of there she thought. She had to get out of there before she caused a scene. Sean would not be able to hide his deep concern if she collapsed. Marita turned away from her original mission to speak with him. Still feeling ill, but gradually acquiring strength, she increased the distance between them and the future they could've had, a future that was always a mere fantasy.