Chapter 2: Mystery
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto what would I do….Too bad I don't!
Hinata: Hey, what was with all the bashing on me yesterday? I thought you were a hardcore me fan!
Me: Well ….uuh…yea about that. Hehe….well, I bash Sakura so often in my comedy fics, people accuse me of being biased! So I-
Sasuke: You gave in on your own ideals. Shame shame…
Me: Quiet you two….back to the point!
Plot Synopsis: Same as said in chapter one…but I suppose I should say each genre is exaggerated as well. I want to make this work, darn it! ! So where were we last checked? Ah yes, the boys discovered they were going to fight for the heart of a Hyuuga Princess, even though non of them want to. That's about to be the least of their worries though, when…..

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The night was normal, too normal. Oh sure, Neji was recently imprisoned in a giant building forced to fight for his cousins affection, but in his life it was relatively normal. It was then that she walked in. He knew she was trouble from the moment he saw her, but Neji could never say no to a woman, especially a woman like this.

Her name was Tenten, and she had the reddest lips this side of the fire country. That is, if he, Naruto, Sasuke, and Lee were still in the fire country. That wasn't the point though. There was a dame, and she was in trouble. "There was a murder." Tenten spoke, as coolly and collectively as though it was a simple matter of a cat stuck up a tree. Neji called for his assistant to come in and assist.

"Yes Neji-san?" Lee answered. It was then Lee noticed the delectable piece of woman in their office, and gasped in shock. "Tenten, what are you doing here!"

"Someone was murdered, just on the other side of the building!" Tenten replied, a strand of hair falling over her face. Neji took a long drag of a fake cigarette, thinking over his plan.

"No, I mean how did you get in the building? I thought it was sealed off." Lee scratched his head, a mystery now going on in his own mind.

Neji sat up, ending the idle chitchat between friends. " That's not important now. We have a mystery to solve! And I'll be damned if our rivals figure it out before us!" Neji threw the cigarette in it's respective ash tray, and glanced at a picture of his rivals. And there they were, Naruto and Sasuke, sitting together, permanently etched onto Neji's dartboard. How Neji loathed them so! There was no time for delay though, and the three were off to investigate the murder.

When Neji and Lee arrived, Sasuke and Naruto were already examining the body. "Who's the victim?" Lee asked Naruto. Lee thought he and Naruto could have gotten along in another place, another time, they might even have been friends.

"It's terrible Lee, Just awful." It was then that Zabuza came running past the detectives to latch onto the body that was covered in a white sheet. The sheet fell, and Haku's corpse was shown to the world.

"Oh dear Kami…" Lee backed away, falling to the ground. Hanabi meanwhile, folded her arms and tapped her foot.

"I can't believe there is sow much fuss ova a dead body! We is supposed ta be thinkin 'bout me and what's her faces hubby's, not some ovaly cute gurl!" She turned away from the group, even more upset that no one seemed to be caring that a princess like her was upset. It was only when Lee whispered to Hanabi that Haku was a boy that the girl showed any remorse, but it was more likely that she pitied a boy that looked more fem than Michael Jackson.

Hinata walked away from her sister, toward the boy she hoped to get second place, even though he had the strength to be number one. "Naruto-kun….I…apologize for…her…" Naruto did not notice the blush on her face, but did stare her down intently.

"Hinata…" Naruto started, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Look, me and Sasuke need some helps ya see. Normally, its me and Sasuke versus the two nin compoots over there," he extended a thumb in the direction of Neji and Lee, who were taking notes at a rapid pace. "But this time, they gots a dame on their side as well, to help with the ya know…" he got closer to her ear and whispered, "The girly matters."

Hinata blushed and jumped away, clutching her chest. "I…I don't know if I can help with you guys n all…I'm very busy thinkin' about the battles next week and all that jazz…"

"Please Hinata…" Naruto said to her in his most innocent of voices. "We need you…I need you." Hinata could not say no to such a voice, and was about to reply with a glorious yes.

It was then that Sakura walked to Naruto and tapped him on the shoulder. "I'll help you I guess."

"Even better! Thanks anyway kid!" Naruto called to Hinata as he ran off with Sakura and Sasuke, but such was not heard. Hinata had fallen to the floor, and figured herself as dead as Haku.

"Come on Neji, she'll be fine but we gots to get goin!" Tenten called to Neji who was about to help his cousin. "If you acts too nice, she'll thinks you'll want to marry her!"

"Damn…your right Tenten. And I REALLY don't want to marry my cousin." So, Neji, Lee and Tenten ran off opposite of Naruto Sasuke and Sakura. Which team would prevail in figuring out the mystery? Find out…now!
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Team 7 looked at each other, going over the clues they managed to swipe before Neji, Lee, and Tenten showed up. "I gots a piece of hair, but I suspects it was the victims'." Naruto held up a strand of medium brown hair, long and straight.

Sakura took it and examined the hair through a mini magnifying glass, her brows furrowed. "Well, whoever's hair that is, the split ends is terrible." Sasuke looked annoyed by the nonsense, and stood up to get something done.

"Screw strands of hair, who wasn't around at the time of the murder!" Naruto took out his flipbook, and read off the names of the suspects.

" Zabuza-" Naruto started, but was quickly interrupted by Sakura. Repeatedly.

"Yea, he would got the biggest motive, being tha only one somewhat close to tha victim!"

"Yea well…urhm…Hyuuga Hiashi-"

"No way, he'd neva set foot in here after trappin half o' the strongest ninja's in da world just to watch four idiots fight for two girls they don't give a rats ass about"

"Fine, I'll cross him off." Naruto crossed Hiashi's name off, while Sasuke and him shared a look of slight annoyance at the interruptions. "Sarutobi"

"Dead post time skip."

"Sand Siblings-"

"Reformed sinners, might have fallen off da bandwagon."

"Tenten-"

"That goody goody couldn't kill a beaver in a cage much less Haku!"

"Hanabi-"

"Lil miss bride ta be? The princess wouldn't be able ta lift a butta knife!"

"Haruno Sakura-"

"Your list bites Naruto! This whole case bites! You bite! Why would I kill Haku, huh!"

Sasuke spoke up before Sakura could ramble into next Tuesday. He liked Sakura, he really did, but a motive was a motive and if Sakura had done this to the poor gender confused boy, he'd have to figure it out before Neji. Atleast then he could spare the girls fate if some evidence was hidden 'n' all, but if Neji got to the punch first she'd be a gonner before Thursday. "Maybe ya killed him dead, cuz' he killed me nearly dead, ay ya dame?"

Sakura was taken aback, and Naruto chuckled to himself at the resent events. Sakura was no murderer, she couldn't even kill a butterfly. But there was somethin' fishy about the whole thing that Naruto couldn't put his finger on. It was no ordinary murder, it was a crime of passion. After all, the body was…..
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"Red as a tomata on steroids!" Lee belted out, pointing to the kitchens where a bushel of tomatoes were conveniently placed.

"Wrong again ya sucker!" Tenten giggled out, tossing her fine brown hair. Lee continued to guess what the item was that Tenten was referencing to in this little game 'I Spy', but continued to fail miserably. He concluded to himself if he did not get the correct answer in three turns, he'd have to run 200 laps around the building, which was no picnic.

Next to Lee sat Neji, whose rage was becoming more open as the sun set in the sky. Finally, he slapped his book down and screamed to his mystery solving partners, "WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" Silence fell through the entire building, and the three huddled closer together to whisper. "Now then, who killed the poor pre-time skip disaster of a guy?"

Lee read off an evidence list, sounding as cool as possible to impress the fair Tenten. "Wells, the other trio of trust got to a lot of tha evidence before we dids, but I did get this ya see!" He took a kunai out of his pocket, which was coated in the victims blood. Tenten gasped in horror.

"How gross! Bloody things is so icky, keep it away Lee sweety keep it away!" Neji rolled his eyes and took the kunai from Lee, looking over it carefully.

"Looks like it was stabbed in…once the victim was already dead. About two hours later to be exact." Neji told the other three. They nodded, and Tenten suddenly got a worried look. "What's wrong doll?"

"Does that mean there's two killas? I mean…why would someone re-kill their own victim?"

"By jove!" Lee muttered out, punching a fist in the air. "I believe she is right!" Neji was now the confused one of the three.

"Tenten…said something intelligent?" Tenten giggled, and gave Neji the receiving end of an all knowing smirk.

The team felt as though they were on the verge of figuring the case out, they could almost smell it! Their thoughts were cut short though, when a call of doom echoed throughout the building. "We figured it out!" It was team 7, and they were practically creating their own lil parade of triumph.

"Shit." Neji muttered beneath his breath. He looked up at the other two, and almost broke down from self-disappointment. One of them just had their fist clenched so hard the nails almost caused blood to poor, while the other wept tears so pitiful, it'd break any man's heart. "There there Lee, don't cry." Lee sniffed, trying to recompose himself. "We're really screwed now. Who will give a bunch a second rate, only apparent in every other arch characters a job now? I dunno…maybe we should just win the damn tournament and marry the girls. At least we'd get a decent plot twist!"

Lee grabbed onto Neji, and started shacking him. "Don't say stuff like that man! It ain't ova yet! We don't need the Hyuuga's to be great, we ARE great! We're da best thing to eva happen to this show!" Lee turned to the two, and started chanting. "Team Gai…team Gai, team Gai, team Gai! Come on you guys!" All three started chanting, and before long, the entire building chanted their team name.

"Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai! Team Gai!"

"Oh really?" Sasuke interrupted. Normally, one person wouldn't silence a whole group, but one word from Sasuke and all the gals quiet up. Naruto stepped forward with Sasuke, and the two protruded their traditional smirk of victory.

"They aint gonna be a team much longa!" Naruto laughed out, cocking an eye brow. Neji stepped forward from his two dumb associates, ready to defend his teams honor.

"Whats that supposed ta mean Uzumaki!" Neji got into a fight position, prepared to re-challenge Naruto to a fight. Hinata and Hanabi ran between the two, Hinata grabbing onto Naruto to hold him back, Hanabi doing the same for her cousin.

"Please…" Hinata began softly, begging the two most important guys in her life. "There ain't no fightin' aloud before the tournament, fight then!" The two boys looked at the girls between them, and relaxed a bit. The girls also relaxed, and both stepped aside to let the Mystery be resolved.

"Explain your reasoning for that comment, Uzumaki. My team is as solid as stone." Naruto snapped a finger, and Sakura handed him two bags of evidence.

"Sasuke, would you like to explain this one to the lead baka?"

"Gladly, Naruto." Sasuke walked over to a chair and sat down, while all the girls fawned over him. Neji was extremely annoyed that Tenten was amongst them, but he'd harass her about it later. "There wasn't much evidence in this case mind you, but the two things found was good enough!"

"Behold!" Exclaimed Naruto, displaying the strand of brown hair. "A strand of brunette hair!"

"I think they can see that, Naruto, but back to the point at hand. Straight brown hair ain't uncommon in this buildin. In fact, the victim him/her/itself had brown hair almost identical to this." Sakura leaped infront of Sasuke, interrupting him much to the girls, and his own annoyance.

"But afta careful DNA plannin, and extractin hair from every other person with similar hairs to this one by swippin hair brushes from every night stand in the buildin!-" Sakura was quickly silenced by a chop to the back of the neck, via Sasuke. Her last thought before falling was 'Damn…how many times is that guy gonna pummel me?'

"Anyways, as my slightly annoyin associate was just informin you alls, we figured out who the killer was by this hair. The killer was non other than a member of Team Gai!" The three man team huddled together closer, latching onto each other in fear. Naruto stepped forward once more infront of Sasuke, puffing on a bubble pipe.

"Could it have been our dear Hyuuga Neji, so desperate ta win a mystery case that he'd kill to get it?" The audience oohed and awed at the brilliance of the first accusation. "Or Perhaps Rock Lee, tired of the constant male characters being stronger and sexier than he is, even when one looks like a girl!" The audience gasped, and stared intently, ready for the finale accusation. "Or perhaps…maybe, just maybe…It was Tenten!" There was silence, and then an outburst of laughter. Tenten flushed and stepped out from her two male companions.

"Hey, I can kill a guy if I wanted! Haku ain't so great!" The audience laughed harder, and Naruto and Sasuke gave each other a knowing stare. "I could kill him! I could! Infact…I DID kill him! It was me! Its my piece-a brown hair! I stabbed him with my kunai see its mine!" She walked over to Neji, retrieved the kunai, and revealed her initials under Haku's blood. "See! I did it! Me! I couldn't take it, a guy bein more pretty than me! No girl is supposed ta be more pretty than me much less a guy! So I did it and I'm proud of it! Proved I can kill an elite AND keep more fashion sense! HA HA HA!"

Sasuke got up from his seat and stood next to Naruto. "We know, we just needed a confession." Tenten stared at them, making a small sound of confusion. "Ya see, we knew it had ta be you, we just didn't have any of dat scientific mumbo jumbo Sakura was rantin off 'bout. It was all staged to set ya up to a confession ya see." The not unconscious Sakura stood up, nodding. Sasuke spoke his teams slogan as they grouped together. "Team 7 kicks ass again! HA!" The three gave each other a group high five, and the Uchiha police came to take Tenten away. After all, half of the Naruto cast is present, why not the resurrected Uchiha clan when it's convenient as well?

Right before She got taken out of the secured building, Neji spoke out, holding up the kunai. "Hold it a sec! I gots proof it wasn't Tenten who'd done it!" Naruto cocked an eye brow, and gave a short chuckle.

"Yea? Prove it ya Hyuuga half wit." Neji clenched a fist at the comment, and proceeded with his side of the case.

"Ignoring the fact that even you and Sasuke was unable to kill Haku, much less Tenten, it's still obvious she couldnta killed him. Using my special eye techniques, I was able to tell that the molecular cells on the blood of this kunai was staled two hours. The dumb broad tried to kill the boy when he was already dead! Tryin to prove your talent by hackin a dead guy ain't gonna get ya anywhere doll."

Everyone else went silent, except for Tenten who giggled at her own stupidity for not remembering that she had, herself, proven that she couldn't have killed Haku just ten minutes earlier. Hanabi was becoming more annoyed with the silence and lack of attention on her and her sister, so she spoke out. "So who did kill the shemale?"

Question marks formed all over, and a tear clad Zabuza stepped forward. "I…I found this note…with the body….I didn't want to say anything…I couldn't accept that he would…" Zabuza ran away from the group, attempting to conceal he evident tears.

Lee grabbed the note and read it aloud. "I, Haku, can no longer stand to live with what I have done. I have killed too many for reasons that were not my own. Zabuza, please do not blame yourself, I followed and loved you like a son. Farewell." An uneasy silence penetrated the crowd, and everyone slowly dispersed back to their rightful dwelling in the building. Tenten was let free, since she did not actually commit a crime. She was, however, given a restraining order from all supermodels who may be her next target. The only one not granted a restraining order was Kate Moss.

Soon, only the mystery solving teams were left. They sat around, still refusing to say a word. Finally, Naruto broke the silence. "It just don't make sense, he aint neva wanted to die before, neva."

Lee sighed, remembering Haku's face. "Something about his face too...it looked like it was struggling from the inside, ya know?" Sasuke looked at a picture of how the body looked.

"Ain't it also strange how it was crawlin though? Like tryin to get help?"

"Perhaps he regretted it afterwards?" Neji questioned.

"Who knows…." Sakura said tiredly, getting up and walking back to her residence, which she shared with Ino. "Goodnight everyone, may tomorrow bring more luck than today."

They all said their goodnights, till it was only Neji and Naruto left. As Naruto walked to his bed, Neji called his name. "Uzumaki, don't think I've forgotten your blasphemous remarks 'bout me and my team. You'll get yours in the battles next week."

Naruto turned around, a cocky smile planted on his fox-like face. "I'll be looking forward to it, Hyuuga!" The two parted, and Naruto crawled into his bed. 'I don't care anymore,' thought Naruto as he closed his eyes, 'I'd rather marry Hanabi than let that jerk off win. Even IF Hinata is the cuter sister.'
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Sakura entered the room, and sat next to Ino. She placed her hands over Ino's stomach and continued her healing remedies. "Your lucky I trained with da Hokage, ya dumb blonde."

Ino just smirked to herself, and asked, "Anyone notice my absence?" Sakura shook her head.

"Naw, everyone was too heartbroken over da "suicide" note. I tells ya, for a buncha detectives they sure is stupid. I aint neva helped them in their lives, why would I start now?"

"It was genious though. I mean, no one can be prettier than me, it just aint legal. Specialy some no good boy!"

"And no body tries to kill my Sasuke without feelin the wrath of hell itself!" The two girls laughed, successfully keeping suspicion away from each other. How handy and lucky for each other, that one girl can enter a body and have her way with it, while the other can heal even the most fatal of injuries if helped soon enough. Writing a suicide note, stabbing ones self in the chest, its all irrelevant if you're a girl who wants some revenge.

And no guy no matter how smart could solve THAT mystery. The mystery…known as woman.
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Me: That was long. I would've made Humor longer if I knew this would be so long.
Sasuke: So how does this have relevance to the actual story plot?
Me: Well, the "plot" really is just to keep the story moving with some significance! But it paved way to the rivalry between Neji and Naruto in this fic! And slight Naruhina hints! (Come on, I'm a Naruhina writer just look at some of my other stories!)
Sasuke: Yea Speaking of Naruto vs Neji , aren't I supposed to be the lead rival?
Me: But I love you and I'm tired of every fic and their mother being about your rivalry damn it!
Sasuke: yea yea..I just better get someone to kick ass and have it be meaningful, or I'm going back to the sound.
Me: EEK! What ever you say Sasuke-kun! ….Review please! ;