Previously on Men In Space...
Dex has a thing for Jaina… but she gives zero kriffs about male egos right now, especially his...
Was there anyone in the Order other than Jacen who could have taken on Valin?
And…
While Jacen does love Valin… it's still all about Tahiri for him...
Season 5
Episode 3
Hey, oh
Sheets of empty canvas
Untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me
As her body once did
All five horizons
Revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed
Has taken a turn
Oh and all I taught her was everything
Oh I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands
Chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by
Some kids at play
I can feel their laughter
So why do I sear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin
Round my head
I'm spinning
Oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away
And now my bitter hands
Cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad
Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
All that I am
All that I'll be, yeah
Uh huh, uh huh, oh
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Oh can't it be mine
Black/Eddie Vedder, Stone Gossard
Errant Venture
41 ABY
Eleven Years After The Yuuzhan Vong War
Jacen watched Jaina's X-wing touch down, feather-lite, and smiled. Even with the rage he could feel coming off his sister in the Force, her piloting was - as always - a thing of beauty.
This was so not how he'd envisioned this going, though he had to admit - to himself anyway, kriff if he was going to admit it to anyone else - he should have seen it coming. Should have seen this mission going bad… and Jaina's mood. He glanced over at Kyp, knowing he was as aware of Jaina's mood as Jacen was. Kyp had refused to allow Franz to take him to the med bay before he'd seen Jysella, and had been crushed when Jaina's X-wing had finally arrived alone.
Dex didn't seem bothered by Jysella's absence or Jaina's mood, which he must be able to feel. No, what Jacen was getting from Dex in the Force was controlled anticipation, and a hint of... glee?
When Jacen had first pieced together - way back during their stay on Zonoma Sekot - that Dex had a thing for Jaina, he'd been a little taken aback. Jaina and Jag had been together for quite awhile at that point, and Dex adored Jag - so Jacen knew Dex would never have done anything to screw up their relationship. Of course Jaina and Jag hadn't needed any help from Dex to screw up their relationship. Or, rather, Jaina hadn't. She'd done just fine screwing that up on her own.
Over the last couple of years, and after many hours of consultation with Cem and Kyp, Jacen had realized that in spite of their openly antagonistic treatment of each other, Dex and Jaina were actually very well suited. The only thing that had held the three back from a full scale matchmaking scheme before now was the fact that it had taken for-kriffing-ever for Jaina and Jag to realize that they were actually over each other.
But then Noya had died.
Jacen had been avoiding Jaina for weeks… months actually... not wanting to discuss what Jaina had surely been wanting to discuss - Noya's death… and their guilt over Noya's death.
Or Tahiri.
When Jacen had finally realized the timeline of that night he'd been horrified.
He'd spent a lot of time trying to convince himself that nothing he did, or didn't do, would have changed the outcome of that night. If he hadn't started the fight with Tahiri she'd have stayed home; not gone to Jag's until lunch the next day as planned - at which point Jag and Noya's fight would have already happened, the events already played out; Noya already dead.
If he'd opened the door to the hall and demanded that Tahiri leave... she might have gone to Jag's in time to prevent Noya from taking the speeder, but that wasn't a certainty. The idea that Tahiri would have left at all, as opposed to staying, trying to talk him out of ending things, was a huge assumption. They'd been playing out variations on that night for years, this was just the first time it had ever gotten so ugly, or he'd ever forced her hand. Every time before he'd backed down, let her persuade him to keep going as they had been… in spite of how painful it was for him.
None of it really mattered though, that night had clearly been destined to end in tragedy. If it hadn't been Noya who had died in that speeder it would have been Jag, and as much as Jacen had liked Noya, his feelings for her were rooted in what she'd meant to Tahiri and Jag.
Or… it would have been Cem who had been killed if he'd kept the speeder on Hapes. Or it could have been Tenel Ka.
And kriff - everytime the idea of Tahly being in that speeder…
Jacen reached for the Force, tried to draw on it's currents for comfort and peace.
Tahly was fine, he reminded himself; and under even more heightened security than usual. And Tenal Ka was fine; delighted by the arrival of Dash, and the fact that his birth had been easy and she hadn't missed a moment with him. And Cem was fine - though something was going on that he refused to discuss.
Jacen knew very well that whatever was going on had to do with Tahiri. Or that Tahiri was somehow involved. Cem hadn't given him any details though, even during the weeks he'd just spent on Hapes. He'd only told Jacen that he was dealing with it, that Tahiri was ok, and that he really needed Jacen to back the kriff off.
Tenel Ka hadn't mentioned Tahiri to Jacen the entire time he'd been there. But that was to be expected; Tenel Ka was where secrets went to die. As devoted as he knew she was to him, she was also as devoted to Tahiri as the rest of the Fel family.
Even Talitha had been quiet; though Jacen suspected that that had more to do with the fact that Tahly was way more perceptive than a five-year-old ought to be and had understood far more about the conversation she'd witnessed between him and 'Auntie Ri' than he was comfortable thinking about.
In fact, during the three weeks he'd just spent on Hapes the only time Tahiri had been mentioned was during that one conversation with Cem. Jacen wanted to assume that they hadn't talked about her because, in spite of his earlier claims to Cem that he was over her and that their break-up didn't matter, they'd figured that he wasn't, and it did.
Jacen blew out a breath, trying to release his tension.
It had taken work but he'd managed to avoid talking about her with Kyp and Jaina - mostly because he'd avoided them. This mission was the first he and Kyp had undertaken since he and Tahiri had broken up. Given the circumstances, and Kyp's own situation, it hadn't taken more than 'our talk didn't go well' for Kyp to leave it alone. Jaina was not going to be as easy to appease once she figured it out. Though he assumed that the reason she'd been working so hard to corner him wasn't concern over him and Tahiri but because she needed to talk about her own guilt over Noya's death.
He didn't envy his sister that.
But Jaina was a master at channeling her feelings, and right now they were focused like a tight laser beam and he, Kyp, and Dex were about to be on the receiving end of Jaina in an apocalyptic rage. He wasn't sure he could ever remember feeling his sister this pissed off.
He glanced at Dex, the words 'crazy kriffer' flashing through his mind. There was no way Dex couldn't feel Jaina's wrath. She sure as kriff wasn't doing anything to conceal it. But whatever… if this is what Dex wanted, who was Jacen to deny him?
Glancing back at Jaina's ship, he watched as her canopy finally rose and she stood up to strip off her helmet and flight suit. She then turned and focused on her astromech - Sidekick, she'd named this one - as Kick rose into the air and then settled on the ground, as gently as her ship had.
Jaina did love her machines.
She placed a hand on the edge of her cockpit then vaulted out of it, landing gracefully on the hangar floor. She said something to Kick that Jacen didn't catch, then finally turned to face him and the other men. She approached slowly, the set of her jaw reminding him so much of their mother when she was epically pissed off. Unfortunately Jacen had no idea which of the three of them she was angrier at as she approached.
"Yun Harla, always a plea…" Dex began.
"Kriff off, Wessiri," Jaina snapped as she drew closer. "I'm in no mood for your shit right now." Then levelilling her gaze at Jacen, she said; "Congratulations. You don't just hold the record for stupid shit pulled by Sky-Solos… you're apperantly determined to see that no other Sky-Solo ever comes close to breaking your record." Turning her eyes to Kyp, who was trying - valiantly - to sit up on the med gurney he was sprawled out on, she said, "And congratulations to you too, Master Durron."
Jaina began to slow clap as she approached Kyp. "Once again you have exceeded my wildest expectations. There is only one woman in this Sith-forsaken galaxy who will ever love your sorry ass the way Jysella does and yet you continue to seek new heights in your efforts to make her as miserable as possible. You may be the biggest asshole of the three of you. An astounding feat, to be sure. Are you happy? Does scaring her like this make you happy?"
"Stop it Jaina. You know it doesn't."
"Then may I suggest you pull your head out of your ass and stop it?"
"You may want to back off…" Dex started, and Jaina turned on him as her eyes flared even wider in fury.
She marched forward and jabbed Dex hard in the chest. Because of their height difference, in order to get close enough to jab him and continue meeting his eyes as she ranted, she had to tilt her head back at a ridiculously far angle, and Jacen fought to not laugh.
"You may be the most insufferable, arrogant jerk I have ever had the displeasure of meeting," Jaina growled, "and that's saying a lot given that I've spent the last 15 years with spacejocks. I'm sorry your fragile ego was wounded when I didn't drop everything going on in my life and forget the pain I was suffering to acknowledge your existence on Borealis. Get the kriff over it and grow up. And if you call me Yun Harla again I swear by the Force I will vape you."
"Jaina…" Kyp said quietly, "Where's Jel?"
Jaina let her glare linger on Dex for a moment longer, then turned back to Kyp. Walking closer to him she asked, "Where are you hurt?"
"Blaster graze," he shrugged. "Right thigh."
Jaina immediately slapped her hand down hard on Kyp's right thigh, causing him to scream in pain.
"You're not worthy of her."
"I know that," Kyp wailed as he folded in on himself. "Where is she?"
"Out. Flying… shopping… running the tables… I suggested that she take some time to do whatever the kriff she needed to do in order to cool off. She promised to comm me when she'd settled down. I also told her that I was available if she needed to vent. And that I was not your go-between. If she chooses to share with me I will keep her confidence. You're welcome. Though that was entirely for her - not for you."
"Thank you."
"Kriff you."
Then, turning to Jacen and raising her hand, finger pointed at him, Jaina snarled, "And you…"
Jacen steeled himself, then went full Solo. He reached for her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a hug.
"I've missed you," he whispered into her hair as he stroked her head.
Jaina shoved him back and pulled her lightsaber from her belt, shoving the pommel up under his chin.
"Kriff you, Jasa. You want me to light it?"
He didn't think for a second that she'd light it, but the fact that she'd called him 'Jasa' made him even more sure. He gently placed his hand on hers, and lowered their arms, and said, "No, Jaya… I don't want you to light it."
Jaina finally closed her eyes, and he caught some of the pain she was in.
But only for a moment. Then she shook her head, reverting back to rage, focusing on him again.
"The Council has talked. Rumor has it your former apprentice is here. I suggest you track him down and the two of you figure out a way to collectively pull your shit together. Or don't. Your futures, not mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want a shower right now and to not be in the same room as any of the three of you."
Jacen watched Jaina turn on her heel and march away, Kick racing after her, tweeting excitedly.
"No, you can not play with Weller and Finn," Jacen heard her say, "their Master is an asshole and I don't want you anywhere near them."
As Jaina cleared the hangar door Dex instructed Franz to take Kyp to the med bay for yet another dip in bacta, then turned to Jacen, a wide smile on his face.
"So… is she what you remembered?" Jacen asked.
Dex chuckled. "All that and a cold ale. Thanks for getting her up here."
"You are a masochistic kriff."
"Maybe."
"But I live to pimp my sister, so... you're welcome."
"Don't pimp her to anyone else before I have a chance to woo her."
Jacen laughed. "You're off to a blazing start."
"You doubt my skills?"
"Right now… I do."
"Kriff you. Go find Valin."
Jacen wilted at the reminder of what he needed to do next. "Yeah… Any ideas on where to start?"
Dex reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a room access card. Holding it out to Jacen, he said, "From the intel I've been able to gather… this should help. He's pretty slavish to his routine."
Jacen let his shoulders sink further, guilt over not being aware that Valin needed him adding to all the other things weighing him down. "Thanks. He has always craved predictability and stability."
"And you are the only one who's consistently given him either… and both. Good luck, man. Comm me if you need back-up."
Valin Horn's Suite,
Errant Venture
Jacen let himself into Valin's room and chuckled as he looked around.
He'd been a little surprised when he realized that Valin wasn't staying in the restricted area of the ship… but then again, given that he was here to 'escape' it made sense that he'd stay as far away from the Wraiths, and his sister, as he could get. Jacen was not surprised at the opulence of the suite. Booster was nothing if not indulgent with his grandkids.
He poked around but didn't find anything too interesting, nothing to indicate where Valin had gone or when he'd be back. He did see Valin's equipment belt on the table beside his bed, but shrugged that off. Probably better that he not have his lightsaber and blaster with him if he was out partying. Less likely to do something stupid if he didn't have a weapon at hand.
He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed an ale from the cooling unit. When he'd polished off most of it in two long pulls he turned and grabbed a second, stood up, then leaned back down for a third and fourth. Who was he kidding? He could be in for a long wait, and he was exhausted and his entire body hurt. Not having to stand up again for a while would be wonderful.
There was a neat stack of datapads on the table near the kitchen area and Jacen grabbed the top one as he passed. Catching up on the news seemed as good a way as any to pass the time while he drank.
He made his way to the 'living room' and removed his own equipment belt and set it on the table, then sat down and pulled off his boots and settled back into the couch as he propped his feet up on the table. He opened the second ale and rested the datapad on his thigh, hitting the button to wake it up as he took another long drink.
The screen of the pad came to life and Jacen's immediate instinct was to hurl the pad into a wall, but he caught himself and let his arm drop, releasing his hold on the pad and allowing it to fall onto the cushion next to him.
Of course he'd pick up a pad Valin happened to close down after, or while, he'd been reading a news article about Tahiri. Why would the Force allow him even an hour without a reminder of her?
He polished off the second ale, opened the third and sighed, picking the pad back up and wondering when he'd become a masochist kriff.
He again woke up the device and felt his chest tighten as he looked at the series of holos that accompanied the story. They seemed to have been captured during a formal event, dated… yesterday. So she was still on Phelarion. Six weeks was a record for her.
She was smiling in most of the holos as she stood next toTarkin, playing hostess again no doubt, but when he looked closer he realized that her smile didn't reach her eyes in a single shot. One holo in particular caught his attention; she seemed to be staring off into the distance, and looked so sad.
You deserve to be sad, he thought bitterly, then felt immediate guilt.
She'd been devastated by Noya's death. Part of what had shocked him about her willingness to ignore Tarkin's probable involvement was that he knew she genuinely cared for Noya. Or at least she always seemed to. Maybe he'd been as wrong about that as he had been about everything else where Tahiri was concerned.
He'd been wracking his brain since that night, trying to figure out if he'd been deluding himself all these years; refusing to acknowledge that fame had changed her. Maybe she was no longer the woman he'd fallen in love with. Maybe the pain he was in was his own fault because he'd refused to accept the change in her. Or, had he been deluding himself even longer than that? Maybe she'd never been the woman he thought she was.
None of that mattered though - their relationship was over regardless. The only thing left to do was extract himself from their business partnership and get on with his life. But that would have to wait; he didn't have the energy to deal with it now. Ironic that they'd never publicly acknowledged what essentially amounted to a marriage, albeit a loveless one on her part, and yet he'd still have to deal with a 'divorce'.
Or, kriff her, she could deal with untangling their finances. The credits had never mattered to him, only the ability it had given him to take care of her.
He finished off the third ale and was reaching for the fourth when he caught sight of the box on the table next to it. Valin's shrub stash.
He lit a stick and inhaled deeply, allowing the combination of it and the ale he'd already consumed to wash over him as leaned back against the couch. After a few minutes he glanced back down at the datapad, one holo in particular catching his eye. He expanded the image and ran his finger down her cheek, yearning replacing the anger he'd been feeling. How long was he going to miss her like this? And the pain was intensified by the fact that he hadn't just lost his lover, his partner - he'd lost his best friend.
He knew she missed him too. She'd told him that during their last conversation the night before she'd left Csilla. And he'd told her that if she missed him so kriffing much she could show it by ending things with Tarkin; they had nothing to discuss otherwise. Of course he'd been angry at himself for letting slip he'd even consider taking her back, then directed his frustration at her, triggering their final scream-fest.
Evidently she didn't miss him that much though, because she'd still gone back to Phelarion.
Soulless whore.
There - the anger was back. That was better.
Jacen dropped the datapad again and was reaching for his ale when he heard voices outside the door.
He chuckled when Valin came in, practically wearing a stunning red Twi'lek woman. She must really be a talented kisser because not only was she not Valin's usual color, but Valin didn't even react to his presence, then he realized he'd been shielding tighter than normal, and opened himself up in the Force. That did it, and he chuckled again when Valin nearly dropped the woman.
Red seemed fairly intoxicated because she started giggling, making it even harder to find her balance and right herself.
"What the kriff are you doing here?" Valin scowled, clearly not overjoyed to see Jacen.
He took another hit from the still burning shrub stick in his hand and blew it out before saying, "Trying to relax. And waiting for you. We need to talk." Then, looking at the woman said, "You should go now."
The woman tilted her head slightly, then looked back at Valin. "I should go now," she repeated, then turned and walked out.
Valin sighed, then shut the door. He headed to the cooling unit and grabbed a few ales.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Master Cockblock. It's been awhile." He set all but one bottle on the table, then opened the one in his hand as he sat on the couch opposite Jacen. "And since when have you cared if I got laid?"
"Since it's interfering with your job performance."
"Really? You're here to talk to me about job performance? And you've been where for the last few months? What kind of example are you? And I like that you spent your time in my room, preparing to lecture me, by helping yourself to my stash. "
Jacen shrugged. "Like I said, I was trying to relax. I've had a long day."
"Needed to get picked up again?"
"Yeah…"
"Astral. So you didn't come up here to see me, you just ended up here because you did something stupid and thought it'd be fun to ruin my night before you disappear again?"
"Look - I'm sorry I've been… unavailable…"
"Unavailable?" Valin barked out incredulously. Then he levelled Jacen with the look he'd been dreading.
Valin was so much smarter, and more intuitive, than the Council gave him credit for. Which wasn't hard since Valin wore his vapid party boy armor the same way Jysella wore her mean and aloof armor.
"What's going on with you?" Valin finally asked. "Because I know you being 'unavailable' isn't just about Noya's death or your concern for Jag."
Jacen shrugged. Unfortunately Valin knew him almost as well as he knew Valin.
"What happened with you and Tahiri?"
Jacen drew in his presence in the Force reflexively. "What do you mean?"
But going Vongsense with Valin in response to that question was the equivalent of him screaming through their bond 'Don't ask me about Tahiri right now because I'm in a tremendous amount of pain about it!'
Valin sighed heavily and then reached over and took a shrub stick from the box, lit it, and lay down on the couch.
Jacen did the same on the couch he was sitting on. This was a long established thing for them; when they hit a topic that was too painful or difficult to address eye to eye they would both lay down so they could look at the ceiling, or the stars, depending on where they were, and try to push through the conversation.
After a full minute, Valin said, "As crazy as that morning at Jag's was, I did notice that the only time you actually looked at her was when she tried to hug you... and you recoiled."
Jacen didn't respond, so Valin kept going.
"I knew she was supposed to stay at your place the night before. We even talked about it at lunch. Yet she was already at Jag's when Jerome came in."
Jacen remained quiet. He knew he didn't have much longer to hide, but he clung to every one of those moments.
"I'm assuming you guys had a fight, and she went to Jag's not knowing that Noya had come back early."
After another silence Jacen decided he had to give Valin something. "Yeah…" he whispered. "We had a fight."
"Must have been some fight - for her to leave your place in the middle of the night."
Jacen tried to rein in his feelings… but it didn't help.
"I talked to her the other day. She said that you two had spoken a couple of times while she was on Csilla. But the impression I got was that you two hadn't really spoken in a while."
"Yeah," Jacen whispered.
"So… what did you fight about?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Did you fight about Tarkin?"
"Drop it, Valin."
"Drop it?" he asked, sitting up to face Jacen. "Two of the people that matter most to me in the universe - who are best friends - aren't speaking to each other and you think I should drop it?"
"Stop deflecting. Don't use concern for us as an excuse to act up. It's your behaviour you should be focusing on."
"Oh! That statement right there is a perfect example of why you're a Master in this kriffed up Order in spite of your disdain for the Council. You're being an asshole. And if I'm deflecting it's because I had an excellent teacher - and just in case I'm not being clear enough for you - that wasn't a dig at Corran. That was a dig at you."
Jacen began to sit up, and was hit with a couch throw pillow… or at least he'd thought he'd been hit with a throw pillow. Before he had time to work it out Valin was talking again.
"Stop it Jacen. The only person in the galaxy who knows you as well as her is me. Which is how I know that you're in love with her."
"Kriff you."
"Kriff you too. But more importantly, what are we going to do about it?"
Jacen snorted. The irony of Valin trying to play matchmaker, and him fighting it, given his own machinations concerning Kyp and Jysella, and Dex and Jaina… striking him as amusing.
"What are we going to do about it?" Valin asked again, more gently this time. "Because you're obviously in pain, and only coming out of hiding to take ridiculously dangerous missions isn't a very constructive use of your time. And frankly… you're scaring me."
Jacen happily seized on that line to try to redirect the conversation. "I'm scaring you? Really? And we've reverted to daddy issues? Don't pretend you're acting up because I'm being reckless or failing to meet your expectations."
"Wow. You must really be upset to pull daddy issues on me."
"Fine," Jacen breathed out. "If I admit that you're right will you drop this?
"No - especially since I don't need you to admit I'm right. I'd already figured out that you two weren't speaking, and I've known for years that you're in love with her."
"Doesn't matter anyway. She doesn't feel the same."
Valin sucked in a breath, then asked quietly, "Are you sure?"
"Well, I may have misinterpreted this, but 'I don't love you, Jacen' seemed pretty clear when the words were coming out of her mouth."
From the corner of his eye Jacen watched Valin's head drop. Then he asked, "Is that what the fight was about? You finally told her that you love her and she told you she didn't feel the same?"
"Yeah."
"You need to fight for her..."
"We have fought."
"For her not with her. She's so stubborn, and she's been through…"
"Yes, Valin, I know; she's been through a lot. Poor Tahiri… the orphan, whose parents were killed in front of her when she was a toddler. Poor Tahiri... who was captured and experimented on by the Yuuzhan Vong. Poor kriffing Tahiri... who watched the great love of her life die in front of her when she was only fifteen… and then subsequently hooked up with, and would prefer to be with, one of the most despicable men in the galaxy rather than me. I get it."
"Jacen..."
"What part of 'she doesn't love me' did you not understand?"
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah… I gave you what you wanted. I admitted that I… care... about her. Now it's your turn."
Valin looked down.
"You need to pull your shit together," Jacen told him.
"Duly noted. If I promise to pull my shit together… will you promise to pull yours together?"
"I have no patience for emotional blackmail right now. You missed Jaina's explosion in the hangar bay due to your drunken exploits."
"Jaina's here?"
"Yeah. And for your information I'm not here just because I had to be picked up. Jaina wanted to talk, and since I was already planning on coming to see you, I figured I'd combine the visits. But between her furry over Jysella having to rescue Kyp again, and her disdain for Dex…"
Valin snorted. "Oh sweet Force. I will seriously laugh my ass off if they wind up together. Wait… what are you up to?"
"Bork you. I'm not up to anything."
Valin snorted. "Sell that to someone who hasn't lived with you for a decade. If you ever decided to follow through on your threats to leave the Order you'd make an excellent matchmaker. Did you arrange for Jaina to come up here so she and Dex would have to interact?"
"I'm not admitting to anything."
"Kriffer. Alright. What do I have to do so you'll admit to conniving to see that your sister winds up with Dex?"
"Hmmm… what are you willing to do? And don't say help get Kyp and Jysella together. I already know you want that."
"Hmmm… then I'm not sure we have much to work with."
"Point to you. But I'm pretty sure you want your feelings for Wyn kept secret as much as I want my feelings for Tahiri kept secret."
"Alright, mutual secret keeping agreed to."
"Fine. Yes, I arranged to get Jaina up here so she and Dex would have to interact. Though it's still going to take awhile. She nearly tore his head off when she landed. And him calling her Yun Harla sooo did not help."
Valin laughed at that. "Dex does like to play with fire."
"Clearly. And it's not going to take much on the Kyp and Jysella front. At this point, if the ship banks hard to port he'll fall. He's a wreck without her."
They both chuckled, then were silent, Jacen finishing his ale and grabbing one of the bottles Valin had set down, Valin finishing his shrub stick and lighting another.
Finally, Valin asked, "Is it weird that Wyn and Tahiri look so much alike, and yet Tahiri might as well have a dick for how attractive I find her?"
Jacen groaned and flicked the bottle cap he was still holding at Valin's head. "Thanks for that mental image, kriffer. But honestly - I don't understand it either. They could be biological sisters, twins even. And yet the idea of Wyn seriously grosses me out."
"Hey! You're talking about the woman I love."
They both laughed and Jacen was glad for the levity he and Valin had finally found… and that Valin didn't seem to have caught on to the fact that he and Tahiri had actually been together.
After several more moments Jacen whispered, "I spoke to Wyn a few weeks ago."
It took awhile, and Jacen could feel the ache Valin was trying to suppress before he asked, "How is she?"
"She had the baby in her lap while we were talking. Cute kid. We only spoke for a few minutes… mostly small talk, and about Jag. But she seemed good."
"I'm glad. I want her to be happy."
"I know you do… the family doesn't like the husband though."
"They've never liked him, he's a tool… and unworthy of her."
"So Cem has indicated."
"A piece of advice… don't kriff green-eyed blondes as a diversion from what you can't have. Go the opposite. It's less painful."
Jacen sat up and turned to Valin, his mouth hanging open. "You've been kriffing blue Twi'leks relentlessly for the past few years in an attempt to purge Wyn from your mind?"
"Don't judge man… it works. Sort of."
Jacen smiled and let his head drop. "Thanks for the advice."
"Anytime. So… how much trouble are we in?"
"With the Council?" Jacen asked as he lay back down and lit another shrub stick. "I don't know," he sighed out. "Jaina didn't elaborate. She was too busy screaming about what assholes we all are. I'll talk to her in the morning, see what's going on. But I do know that you and I should probably at least put on a show of towing the line for a bit."
"But drinking and kriffing and gambling is sooooo much more fun," Valin whined.
"How did I manage to get you knighted again?"
"Because you're the bestest Master in the universe."
"If only that were true."
"It is Jacen. And... I love you."
Jacen smiled up at the ceiling, his chest tightening as he thought of how glad he was that he'd taken Valin on, pushing back the thought that it had been Tahiri's insights that had helped him make that decision.
"I love you, too," Jacen finally said. "And in case you didn't know it… I'm very proud of you. You're a good man."
"If I am… it's because of you."
They were both silent until Jacen finally said, "Wow… that got really deep. Are you feeling a sudden need to kill something?"
"Or kriff something? Yeah. We are men after all."
Jacen laughed, then said. "I may be getting old… or the shrub may finally be kicking in, but I think I'd rather sleep."
"Oh thank the Force. I'm exhausted."
"Chasing lekku can really wear you out."
"Kriff you. Chasing lekku is less hard on the liver than drinking around the clock. Especially when Gramps is jumping to systems with 46-hour day cycles."
Jacen snorted.
"Don't laugh, it's a bitch keeping up with the old man's schedule sometimes."
Jacen sighed as he snuggled down into his couch. "Goodnight, Valin."
"Goodnight, Jacen."
Next time on Fear and Love…
Kyp embraces his destiny...