Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…what? I can't be creative all the time ya know!

Plot Synopsis: Every chapter is a different genre ff provides, exaggerated to the tenth degree for your entertainment. Last we saw, Sakura and Ino killed Haku and got away with it, Naruto admitted Hinata was cute but cares more about kicking Neji's arrogant butt! Lee is crushin on Tenten who, just like every other girl, just wants Sasuke. What will happen next? Enjoy!
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Neji lay in his bed sleeping. "bzz….Lee Lee …screw you Hiashi…not my…daddy…zzz…." He woke up suddenly, startled by a sound. His eyes shot open to see Haku floating above him.

The two starred at each other for a few seconds, when Haku finally spoke. "Help me."

"OH SHIT DUDE!" Neji screamed and jumped up out of the bed and scurried to a corner. "Don't eat my soul! It's not my time you can't go against fate and FATE IS MY FRIEND AND DON'T WANT ME DEAD!"

"No dude, I just want you to help me with this hair. I mean, long hair on you yea fine, but I look like such a fem."

Neji looked crooked eyed at Haku, and proceeded to scratch his head. "So, cut it?"

Haku shook his head sadly. "Can't. Scissors can't cut spirit hair, just doesn't work that way."

Neji nodded. "Guess your screwed man."

"Yea…thanks anyways."

"No problem."

"Later" "Bye!" With Neji's last statement, Haku faded away. Neji crawled back into bed and closed his eyes. "He was a good kid." Neji's eyes then flashed open, and he eeked quietly. "Wait…wasn't Haku…dead?" Neji blinked slightly in the dark of his room. "I should scream….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
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"Ok dude, tell us again what happened?" Naruto said slowly, shacking the distraught neji lightly. With him in the room was Sasuke, Lee, Sakura, and Hinata. In such supernatural incidences as these, you always need the bad ass, the comic relief, the snob, and the virgin.

"H…Haku! He..I…she…it…made…HAIR!" Neji spurted all this out, and proceeded to pass out for the seventh time since everyone had been awaken by his screams three hours earlier.

Sasuke sighed, and slapped Neji awake. "Yes, Haku is dead we know. So what the hell are you carrying on about?"

"Shemale….is…is….a Ghost! He came to my room and and…Haku is back!" Neji eeked, and passed out once more.

At this, Lee stood up and nodded. "I see, we have a poltergeist on our hands. It would be best to vacate the area, before any of us are trapped in Haku's spiritual domain!"

"But…" Hinata spoke softly, and everyone turned to her. "Then, how can there be a tournament?" She bit her lip as Hanabi, who was near by, over heard and walked over to the others.

"Yea, if you all leave we can't get married!" She placed her hands on her hips, believing the decision was settled to stay.

The boys nodded in agreement. Naruto got up and spoke for the group. "Yes, then it's settled. We all leave, and take the poor fate-demented boy with us." The boys got up, dragging Neji by his hair as the two Hyuuga Princesses cried.

Before they could reach the door, however, Hyuuga Hiashi appeared on the big screen. "Where do you think you are going!"

The boys turned around, and Lee shrugged. "Out of here! There's a ghost Hiashi-sama, we can't hold a tournament under such conditions!" The boys nodded in agreement, and Hiashi frowned.

"I see, that is quite the predicament. Hmm…well then, I suppose there is only one thing to do!" The boys smiled, knowing that they would now be released from the Hell hole that was this forced tournament.

Hanabi came running to the big screen, her big sister a few feet behind her going towards it at a timid walk. "Daddy! You can't let them go, you just can't! I wanna get married!" Fake tears proceeded down Hanabi's face in a very anime-like style.

"Don't worry precious! Daddy would never let the boys leave, he's going to make them hunt down the ghosts!" To this, the boys jumped with horrid faces, and even Neji woke up to be completely stunned at the recent turn of events.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Proclaimed Neji.

"This is an outrage!" Yelled Lee.

"What kind of sick demented man are you!" gasped out Naruto.

"Who do you think you are, my brother?" Stuttered Sasuke.

Hiashi frowned, and suddenly Ghost Buster equipment fell from the ceiling. "Here is your equipment, find the ghost, and get rid of it before sundown, or I'll just force you all to marry my daughters now!"

"Yes Sir!" The boys screamed. The screen went blank, and the boys were forced into doing the one thing you should never do in the presence of a poltergeist; stay.
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"So what do we do?" Asked Neji, as the group sat in a circle around a psychic board.

"Well, we are supposed to contact the angered spirit. Usually they are angered because they were killed. So...maybe that's why Haku is back! He wants to tell us how he really died!" Lee said simply. Sakura sat on her knees, fidgeting in nervousness. Naruto noticed this, and questioned her about it.

"Oh..uuh…well, maybe we should just forget about this I mean…he killed himself, right? Mystery solved! He….hehe…..heee…."

Hinata cocked an eye brow at Sakura's funny reaction, and scooted over to her and poked Sakura in the arm. "Couldn't hurt to try, right?" Sakura then gave Hinata a death glare that only Haku had ever seen.

"Come on girls, there is nothing to be afraid of as long as I am here!" Naruto stood up and did the victory sign, laughing in all his cocky-ness.

"You mean me. I mean, I'm the one who is gonna save everyone you idiot!" Sasuke got up as he said this and looked Naruto up and down.

"What, you want a fight Uchiha?"

"Only if you can bring it Uzumaki!"

"Oh, I can bring it!"

"Your momma can bring it Uzumaki!"

"Why you!"

"Why do friends fight? You should respect your cherished one!" A soft wavery voice spoke this, and everyone looked around.

"What the hell was that?" Neji said.

Lee pointed up to the ceiling as he looked at the others. "It appears it came from there." Everyone cocked their heads up to see Haku, who was waving while doing the anime-face-smiley. You know the one. Naruto turned to Sasuke, who nodded.

"You know what we gotta do Sasuke."

"I'm with ya, Naruto!" The two ran, and pretty fast at that. Not even Lee was able to follow their movements.

Hinata called after Naruto in panic. "Wait for me, Naruto-kun!" and she proceeded to chase him and Sasuke down.

"Hinata-sama! You can't go off by yourself! It's too dangerous!" Neji chased after Hinata, knowing it was his responsibility to keep his cousin safe.

"Wait Neji! If you act too nice she'll think you want to marry her!" Lee called this after his dear friend, and chased after him in order to spare Neji any uncomfortable incest.

All that was left was Sakura and Haku, who were staring each other down with a menacing smile.

"Well well, if it isn't Haku. Your ruining my plan to get rid of you, you know!"

Haku nodded with a smile, and unsheathed his sword. Yes, Haku has a sword. He proceeded to chant the same line over and over as he tried to slice Sakura through the heart. "My name is Haku. You killed my Father. Prepare to die."

"I didn't kill your father, I killed you idiot!" Sakura screamed this as she dodged the deadly blades of the ghost from Hell.

Haku blinked. "Whatever, the Princess Bride line sounds better. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" His sword jabbed in, hitting Sakura right in the gut. She gasped out, and collapsed to the ground. Haku smiled, having gained half of his revenge. "Now all I need to do is destroy Ino, and I'll be set!" He began to float away, when he heard a sound behind him.

There stood Sakura, in perfect health, with a ginormous ghost busters ghost sucker back pack on her back. The nozzle was pointed right at Haku, who gasped in confusion and horror. "That's impossible! I just killed you!"

"Are you dense? You're a ghost moron! You and your sword just go right through me with no affect!"

Haku nodded, and cursed lightly. "Damn. Guess I shoulda grabbed a real sword. Ah well!" Haku tried to float away with all his speed, but such was futile. Sakura sucked him up. She sucked him nice and hard until he was no more.
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The group sat in a dark corner, huddled together. "Do you think Sakura is okay? She sure has been gone a while!" Naruto whispered to the others.

"I'm sure she is fine, Naruto." Sasuke said this reassuringly, but in his head what he was really saying was, Ha! The dumb broad is dead! Ding dong the witch is dead, witch old witch, the wicked witch!

Hinata scooted closer to Naruto, and whispered to him, "Naruto-kun, I am so scared!"

"Don't worry Hinkaba!"

"I…it's Hinata."

"No no, it's Hinkaba."

"No, it's not. I..I think I'd know."

"Oh…well whatever." "You're so cruel Naruto-kun!" Hinata cried, and died a little more inside.

Sakura suddenly emerged in the distance, and everyone smiled and ran to her. "What happened Sakura-chan!"

"Was it the greatest fight of your life?"

"Fate allowed you to live, how excellent!"

"Why did you have to survive!"

"Did Gai-sensei save you?"

Sakura just smiled at all the attention, and patted her Ghost Busters backpack lightly. "Don't worry guys, the poltergeist that was Haku is no more."

Everyone partied the rest of the night, and a couple got drunk and had a make out session in a closet that neither remembered the next morning. That's beside the point though. As they all had fun, Haku kept his spirit alive in the backpack of doom. He'd have his revenge on them someday. Just wait, he'd be back, and deadlier than ever. BUWAHAHAHHA!
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Me: Review please!