Kiss with Open Eyes
Chapter 9: Every Soldier Says He's Not Afraid to Die
Disclaimer: You know it's not mine.
Summary: Stars Hollow was a lovely town, everything about it fascinated her. Especially the man in the backwards baseball cap, standing behind the counter at Luke's diner. She wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it was definitely something.
A/N: Hey guys, what's up?
So, I changed the title of this… I'm not sure why, I just felt like it.
FYI: For anyone that is reading A Different Path, I am aware that I still have not posted the last chapter. I've actually written about 4 different versions of it, because I keep changing my mind about it. That's why it has been taking me so long. But, it will be up soon, I promise.
Anyway…
"Hey, what happened to your finger?" Chris asked, when they pulled away. She really wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face, and she wasn't even sure why.
Lorelai froze, and started playing with her hair. "I uh, I just cut it, that's all."
"You cut it?" He asked.
"On glass." She said. Well, it was the truth.
"Nice band-aid." He said in that voice that he always thought turned her on, but the truth was, it never really did.
"Thanks." She told him.
"So, uh what are you doing for the next hour?" He said, moving closer.
She took a step backwards, and grabbed her purse. She gave him an apologetic smile. "Oh, sorry, but I have to go to my parents." She said, just trying to make up something, anything really.
"Your parents?" He asked.
"Yeah, well, you know I have that DAR thing with my mother… and you know Emily, she's flipping out about it as usual. So, we just have some things to take care of. I won't be late." She told, barely giving him enough time to say goodbye, before she was out the door.
She sat in the car and sighed. She wasn't even sure what had just happened there. She started the car, and backed out of the driveway.
She didn't actually have to go to the Gilmore's, so she just drove around a little.
Millions of thoughts were racing through her head. She wasn't sure where to even begin.
How was she going to do this? How could she keep a secret like this forever? How could she lie to him, every day for the rest of her life? How could she sneak around, and make stupid excuses to get away from him?
Was this how the next few years were going to be?
He'd come home, and she'd make up some stupid excuse to get away from him? He'd notice. Rory would notice. She couldn't do this. Not forever, anyway.
So, maybe she should tell him?
Maybe she should just tell him what happened. Explain that she was really drunk, and that it meant nothing.
But, did it mean nothing?
Eh, she'd get to that later. Now she had to figure out what to do with Christopher.
If she told him about the night with Luke, he'd be mad. He'd be really, really mad. He'd probably hunt Luke down and try to beat the shit out of him. She wondered if Luke could take him. Yeah, he could. Christopher could beat up guys like Jason Stiles, but Luke had twice as much muscle as Chris did.
What if Chris told Rory about what she did? What if he told her parents? What if he left her and took Rory with him?
God, this was bad.
She couldn't tell him. There were too many consequences. There were too many things that could go wrong. There were too many things that could get completely ruined.
She'd have to keep the secret.
And before she even completely registered what was happening, she opened her car door, and slammed it shut. She was about halfway across the street, when she realized what she was doing.
There she was. Luke's Diner. William's Hardware.
Her car knew what she was thinking about. Her car knew what she wanted.
The coffee, right?
Of course. Just the coffee.
She stood there, in the middle of the street, watching him. She felt sort of weird, just standing there watching him. She didn't really feel like a stalker. She just felt like she shouldn't be looking.
He had just finished wiping off the counter. He looked really tired. He looked like he hadn't slept at all last night. That made two of them.
He turned off the light, and then, she saw as his apartment light went on. She turned around, and walked towards the gazebo. She still had an hour or two more to kill before she could go home.
"Hi Pattie." Lorelai smiled, as she greeted the woman.
"Oh hello dear." Miss Pattie smiled, warmly.
"So, anything new in the Hollow?" Lorelai smiled, sitting beside the woman, on the bench.
"Well… did you hear that Susie Peatman is pregnant? It's amazing really…" Pattie said.
"Why?"
"Well dear, Jack Peatman only has one testicle."
"Oh, wow." Lorelai said, definitely not expecting that.
"Yes… they're a lovely couple. It's too bad about Jack, though. Did you know her father invented Post-it-Notes?" Pattie asked.
"No, I didn't." Lorelai said.
"He's a pretty rich man."
"I bet." Lorelai said.
Pattie nodded.
"Well, Pattie, I better get going."
"Alright, bye dear."
"Bye."
She got up from the bench, and walked around the square a little. She hugged her coat around her body, as the wind hit her face, and whipped her hair around.
She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. How could she just forget about this? How could she just pretend that it never happened? How could she keep it a secret?
And, what if he told someone?
No, no, Luke wouldn't tell anyone. He wouldn't.
Goosebumps ran up her arms, and she hugged her coat tighter, and rubbed her arms, trying to get rid of the goose bumps. Why were they called goose bumps, anyway? Do geese have them, or something? Who thought to name them that?
She'd google it when she got home.
She sighed, and started walking back to the car. It was getting chilly out, and all she had was a very light jacket.
She got in the car, rested her eyes for just a second, and then started the car. She turned on the radio. She definitely needed her tunes.
I think that you know what to do
Impossible? Yes, but it's true
I think that you know what to do, yeah
I'm sure that you know what to do
You're lost little girl
You're lost little girl
You're lost
"Lorelai, can you remember to tell Ellen about the tea?" Her mother asked her. They had been at the Independence Inn for hours, setting up for the event about to talk place. Lorelai still hadn't seen Luke.
"I can remember a lot of things." Lorelai told her mother.
"Lorelai." Emily said, obviously very annoyed and stressed. "This is serious, Ellen is deathly allergic to oranges."
"There's oranges in the tea?"
"It's orange flavored." Emily said.
"I'll tell her." Lorelai said, not even wanting to get into it. She was too preoccupied. She couldn't stop thinking about Luke. She wondered if he would come by. She wondered if he had even remembered. She wondered how he'd act around her if he did come.
"Hey." Sookie said, coming from behind her. Lorelai jumped at the sound of her voice. "Oh, sorry." She said.
"Oh hey Sookie, you scared me." Lorelai said, putting her hand on her heart.
"Sorry." Sookie said again. "Just taking a break, thought I'd see how you're doing."
"I'm fine." Lorelai said nervously. "How was your date with Jackson?" Lorelai asked, wanting the subject to change.
"Wonderful." Sookie said, getting those dreamy eyes, she always got when Jackson was mentioned. Lorelai thought it was so sweet, but it also made her a little jealous. More than she'd like to admit.
"What movie did you end up seeing?" Lorelai asked.
"I don't remember." Sookie giggled.
"Well, that's always a good sign." Lorelai smiled.
Sookie nodded, then stopped, when she realized something. "Hey." She said.
"Yeah?"
"You never told me what happened after the Firelight Festival." Sookie said, pointing a finger at her.
"What?" Lorelai said, even though they both knew she had heard Sookie.
"The Firelight Festival. I asked you yesterday, and you never told me." Sookie said.
"I didn't? Oh… well." Lorelai said, nervously.
"So, what happened?" Sookie asked with a smile.
She wasn't sure what compelled her to spill her heart out to Sookie, but she did. She found herself pushing Sookie to the side, in the corner, where no one would hear them.
"I was with Luke." Lorelai said, quietly.
"Luke?" Sookie asked.
Lorelai nodded, biting her lip, and Sookie knew this was going to be bad.
"Well, um, what happened?" Sookie asked, almost afraid to ask.
"Sookie, you can't say anything." Lorelai said.
Sookie nodded, biting her own lip. "I won't say anything." She promised.
"Nobody, Sookie… not even Jackson." Lorelai said.
"I won't." Sookie said.
"We… we had sex." Lorelai said.
Sookie's mouth dropped open. She had a feeling that Lorelai was going to say that, but she was still completely surprised once she actually did.
"You… You…" Sookie said, not even able to get the words out.
"I know." Lorelai said. "We were really, really drunk."
"Have you talked to him?" Sookie asked.
"No."
"Are you going to?"
"I'm not sure."
"What'd Christopher say?" Sookie asked.
"What?" Lorelai asked, surprised by the question.
"Christopher… Was he mad when you told him? Of course he was mad… but, things are OK, right?"
"Sookie…" Lorelai started, and Sookie knew what she was going to say.
"You haven't told him?"
"No." Lorelai said quietly.
"Are you going to?" Sookie asked.
Lorelai looked away, studying the flower arrangement that sat on the table closest to them. Sookie knew what that meant.
"Lorelai…"
"Sookie, you don't understand. I can't tell him." Lorelai said.
"You're just going to lie to him forever?"
"Not forever." Lorelai said.
"So, what, you're going to tell him in a month or two?"
"We aren't going to be married forever, Sookie."
"That doesn't make it OK to cheat on him!" Sookie said, in a forceful whisper.
Lorelai studied the flower arrangements again. She didn't know how they had gotten them to be so perfect. Not even one tiny leaf wasout of place.
"Nobody deserves that, Lorelai… Not Christopher, and not Luke." Sookie said.
"Luke?"
"He's going to feel so guilty, Lorelai. He won't be able to live with himself." Sookie said.
"You think I don't feel guilty?" Lorelai asked, defensively.
"I don't know… but… you can't… you can't… have sex with Luke."
"I know that, Sookie." Lorelai said, getting angry. "Look, just forget it, OK? I thought you'd understand, I thought I could talk to you… but I guess I was wrong." Lorelai said, before walking away from her.
Sookie watched as she turned the corner, shaking her head.
"Lorelai, hello."
"Hey Ellen, looking good." Lorelai smiled.
"You, too, honey." Ellen nodded.
"Thanks… Oh hey, just a warning, don't drink the tea." Lorelai said.
"Why not?"
"It's orange flavored." Lorelai said.
Ellen nodded. "That Emily." She said with a laugh.
"I hear ya." Lorelai laughed, as she made her way to greet the other ladies.
"Paula, I'm loving the earrings, I guess the divorce finally went through, huh?" Lorelai laughed.
"Lorelai, you are bad."
"Have a nice night, Paula." Lorelai laughed, and waved, as she kept walking.
"Donna… where's Steven?" She asked, with a smile.
"Oh, at the club… can't pry those men away from there. I could be wearing nothing but pennies and fishnets… but as long as there's something going on at the club, I might as well be wearing a bright orange poncho, and hiking boots."
"Pennies?"
"A childhood fantasy of his." Donna shrugged.
"I'll leave it at that." Lorelai said, confused.
"The way it should be." Donna tipped her glass, and Lorelai kept going.
"Cheryl, how are the strawberry tarts?"
"Wonderful Lorelai, you should try one."
"Oh, I'm more of a Pop Tart kind of girl… Maybe later?"
"You don't know what you're missing." The woman smiled, and Lorelai waved goodbye.
When she finally reached the end of the room, she sighed. She glanced up at the clock. 3 more hours.
"Some party." She heard a voice from behind her. She spun around and smiled.
"Yep, nobody knows how to throw one like the DAR." She said, sarcastically.
"I can see that… The flowers look beautiful." Mia said.
"My mother wouldn't accept anything less." Lorelai said.
"You don't seem to be enjoying it." Mia said.
"Yeah, well… After going to these things my entire life… it just starts to get old."
Mia nodded, and the two women watched the room full of DAR ladies.
"Hey, Mia?"
"Yes?"
"Have you um, seen Luke?"
"No, why?"
"Oh, I was just wondering." Lorelai said.
"I didn't know you two were friends." Mia said.
"Yeah, well, now you know." She said. Were they even friends? Could they still be friends after everything that happened? Probably not. How could they? How could a friendship that was still so new, survive after something like that?
No, they probably weren't friends anymore.
"That's great. You seem like his type." Mia said.
"Whoa, what?" Lorelai said. His type? What was that supposed to mean?
"Oh, no, I just mean, that you're the type of woman he likes… No, I mean… I just mean, that I could see the two of you being very good friends." She said.
"Oh, uh…" She began.
"Oh, honey, will you excuse me, I have to go tell Michel to stop sneaking around the guest's rooms. If only I could understand him." She said with a sigh, as she walked away.
She laughed, and went back into the room, to greet some more of the DAR ladies.
She took her seat, as Emily made her way to the front of the room. She was about to make her speech. Lorelai wondered how many of these speeches she had heard her mother say. Way too many to count.
She sighed, and daydreamed, as she looked out the window.
It took her a few minutes to realize that Luke was sitting outside. He was sitting on the steps of the Inn. She blinked a few times, to make sure this was real.
She looked back at her mother, who was still talking. Then, she looked at the other woman at her table.
"I'll be right back." She whispered. They nodded, and she stood up. She quietly made her way out of the room, praying her mother wouldn't notice.
"So, what, are you like an under cover member of the DAR?" She asked, sitting beside him on the steps.
"You told me to come." He said.
"But, you didn't bring the coffee." She pointed out.
"It's in the lounge." He said.
"Oh." She said, following his gaze and looking out into the woods.
"So…" She said, wondering what he was still doing here.
"We should talk about this, shouldn't we?" He asked, looking at her for the first time since he got there.
"Uh… Well… I guess so." She said.
He nodded, and looked ahead of him again. "Not here, though." He said.
She turned to look at the door, to make sure no one was standing there. "Yeah." She said.
"Want to come by after closing?" He asked, looking at her again.
She smiled at him, and nodded. "OK." He said.
"OK." He said, putting his hand on her knee, but quickly taking it away when he realized what he had done. "Sorry." He said.
"It's OK." She told him smiling. "I'll see you tonight." She said.
"Yeah, tonight."
She walked down the street, watching everything that was happening around her. It was almost 8 o'clock, so the streets weren't too crowded, but there were still some people around. Miss Pattie was just wrapping up her 6:30 dance class, so there were a lot of ballerinas, and parents surrounding the dance studio. Taylor was talking to one of his worker's outside. He seemed to be lecturing him about picking up his check on time. He was really tall, and sort of reminded her of Christopher, but only a little bit. Andrew was walking with his kids, as they all ate ice creams. Al from Al's Pancake World was talking to Joe from the pizza place.
She walked past Kirk and Gypsy fighting about something, and stopped when Kirk called her name.
"Lorelai!"
"Hi Kirk."
He folded his arms and pouted, glaring at Gypsy.
"What's wrong?" Lorelai asked the two of them.
"She said my mother looked like a squirrel."
As much as Lorelai wanted to burst out laughing, she knew Kirk's connection with his mother, and she knew what would happen if she actually did start to laugh.
"Gypsy, apologize." Lorelai told Gypsy sternly. God, she felt like their mother.
"I'm sorry that your mother looks like a squirrel." Gypsy told Kirk.
Again, she wanted to burst out laughing. Who knew that Gypsy could be so funny?
"Lorelai." Kirk whined.
"Gypsy." She said, in that mom-voice, that always meant, 'you'll be in so much trouble if you don't apologize right now.'
"Sorry, Kirk." Gypsy said, rolling her eyes.
"I don't forgive you!" He said, before stomping away like a five year old.
Gypsy looked at Lorelai, shrugged, and then went back to her garage. Lorelai laughed, and continued on her way to Luke's.
She wondered what he was going to tell her. She wondered if it'd be bad. She wondered if he'd be mad about it. She wondered if he'd be an ass about it. She wondered if he'd blame her for what happened.
No. That wasn't Luke.
But she still wondered what he was going to say.
She walked up the steps to the diner, and opened the door. He looked up when the bells over the door, rang.
"Hey." He said.
"Hi." She smiled, and walked up the counter.
"Coffee?" He asked.
"Duh." She said, throwing her purse on the stool beside her.
He nodded, and got her some coffee. "So, how was the party?"
"Oh, you know… DAR." She said, taking a sip of the coffee.
"Yeah." He said, even though he had no idea what she meant. He wasn't exactly sure where to start. He should have thought more about what to say, because he had no idea.
"So, you wanted to talk." She said, figuring she might as well get to the point.
"Um… yeah." He said.
"OK." She said, waiting for him to say something next, but he didn't. "So…" She said, hoping to get him to say something. "Talk." She told him.
"Right." He nodded. "Well, I guess… I just wanted to say that we can… we can just…forget about it."
"Forget about it?"
"Yeah. I mean, we were really drunk… and, that's… that's all. I'm not going to say anything. I just thought you'd want to know."
"Right." She said.
"I just didn't want you to think I was going to tell everyone or something."
"I didn't think that." She told him.
"Oh, OK." He said, nervously. Things were getting awkward fast.
"I don't want things to be weird." She said.
"Me either."
"So, you think we can still be friends?" She asked.
"I want to." He offered.
"Good." She said. She wasn't sure why, but she was a little bit disappointed. Sure, she still had her friend Luke, but she couldn't help but feel like she lost some other Luke. But, she did have her friend back, and that's all she wanted, right?
"Good." He nodded.
Sookie stood outside the diner, watching as the two interacted. Lorelai was laughing at something Luke had said, and Luke was smiling at her. She hadn't seen him smile like that since Rachel, and Lorelai was giving him that look. She knew what this meant.
She knew what was going to happen. She saw it in their eyes, in their smile… She knew.
She just hoped she'd be wrong.
La, la, la… So, how is everyone doing? I think I ask that after every single chapter, but whatever.
Mmm… tomorrow is Friday. Friday, Friday, Friday… Couldn't have come sooner. I love weekends. It's just party, party, party.
I don't know why I'm saying everything three times, but whatever.
Anyways, please, please, please review, cuz you all know how I love reviews. I want to make out with them, that's how much I love them.
Next Chapter:
She Writes the Answers on Cheap, Paper Napkins: Lorelai dreams about Luke…Lorelai and Rory are bored and decide to head down to the Hollow for a soft ball game. Rory makes some friends, and Sookie and Lorelai talk. Everything is good until Sookie notices Lorelai stealing glances at Luke, and decides to confront her about it… and Jackson wants Lorelai's help in planning a special surprise.