Thanks everyone for the awesome responses! I'm so glad you're all continuing to enjoy the story.

mjmm – This dream doesn't dry up like a raisin in the sun, but it might fester and eventually explode, only time will tell. ;)

Now on the with the anguish…

Chapter Fourteen

Sean sluggishly walked into the house and down the hall towards the dining room. He was completely exhausted. The day had been so much more difficult than the past few, being that he'd overextended himself with a barrage of tasks. But that was okay, he wanted it that way. Ever since Marita left Lexington he'd increased his working hours in an attempt to avoid the despair he felt when he stood still. And though overall his attempt had worked, whereas he had not become overwhelmed by the grief he was feeling, the pain was still there, right beneath the surface, prodding and pushing his soul.

"Sean!" Alice said excitedly as he walked into the dining room "You're here! Isaac was just telling us about Mr. Holmes, Marita's new admirer!"

"Alice!" Ned scolded angrily, knowing that was the last thing Sean would want to hear given his possible feelings toward Marita, and secondly because of the inappropriateness of the statement.

"Sorry Pa" Alice said shyly

Ned gave his daughter a stern look then turned his attention to Sean who was frozen where he stood. He was not prepared to hear Alice's statement and as a result, the placid expression he'd been wearing nearly collapsed, but he successfully held his composure, feigning indifference.

"Well son are you going to stand there all night or are you going to take a seat?" Ned said lightly, relieved to see that Sean appeared unaffected by Alice's statement. Heeding his father's request, Sean forced a slight smile and made his way to a seat at the table. As he settled in his chair he appropriately greeted Isaac then asked the man about his trip.

"It was wonderful" Isaac replied "Cholena is a great town. I never expected to meet such good people."

"Or admirers?" Sean said lightly, but with a hint of strain. He knew that he shouldn't have implied such a question. For Isaac's answer would undoubtly crush him, but he had to know what Alice's comment meant.

"Well Alice embellished that a bit." Isaac finally answered. He was tempted to expand on the girl's exaggeration, but thought better of it. There was no point in hurting Sean any further. For Isaac was sure that Sean now knew that his chances with Marita were finished. "Mr. Holmes was a gentleman who was of great assistance to Marita and me." He continued "And what I told everyone earlier was that though his generosity seemed true, I believe his actions were mainly due to his fondness for Marita."

Sean wanted to give a tactful response to Isaac's explanation of Alice's statement, but found that he couldn't. The possibility of Marita finding someone else, loving someone else had not crossed his mind until now. And though Isaac had not said that was the case, the thought of such an occurrence caused Sean's heart to again shatter into pieces, leaving him without words.

"Here you go Sean." The cook said as she placed a plate in front of him, unknowingly thwarting any attention that may have been drawn to his muted state.

"So where exactly is Cholena?" Ned asked curiously, smoothly changing the subject, as Sean thanked the cook who'd been standing-in for an absent Mabeline. "Is it near Detroit?"

"Yes," Isaac answered turning his attention away from Sean "About 15, 20 miles south of Detroit, right off of Lake Erie…"

"You mean Lake Erie as in one of the Great Lakes?!" Lexy interjected excitedly

"Lexy don't interrupt" Ned lightly scolded

"It's okay Ned" Isaac chuckled, understanding the young lady's excitement. "Yes Lexy, Cholena is off the shores of Lake Erie."

"Wow"

"It's a beautiful town." he continued

"So I guess their main source of income stems from the Lake?" Clay asked as he took a swig of his tea

"Ah Clay" Alice sighed "Can you forget the economics for once, some of us would like to know more about Marita's new life."

"What are you talking about?" Clay retorted "This is about Marita's new life"

"Hardly, you're…"

"Alright, that's enough" Ned interjected sharply

As he continued his admonishment of Alice and Clay, Sean remained pensive, aimlessly picking over his food while torturing himself with the thought of Marita and Mr. Holmes. When he'd learned that his father had invited Isaac to dinner, he was faintly pleased, for deep down he wanted to know about Marita. But now that he was sitting here, listening to the continuous conversation, which had now returned to the wonders of Cholena, it took everything in him not to get up and walk away. But he remained seated, gradually blocking out his family's endless questions and Isaac's informative replies, successfully numbing himself to the pain that was straining to arise.

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"So what do you have on Logan?" Asa asked as he shut the door to his Jockey Club office.

Pete didn't answer right away, again reconsidering what he should reveal.

"Well" Asa asked impatiently as he sat down behind his desk.

"I...I…"

"Don't tell me you don't have anything." Asa interrupted

"I'm sorry Asa, but I don't" Pete conceded

"How can that be?" Asa asked tightly, his anger slowly rising "You've been on this for months. Hell just a few weeks ago you told me that you had something. So what gives?

"Nothing" Pete replied firmly "That's what I came to tell you. That there's nothing on Sean Logan. What I thought I had on him didn't pan out."

Asa abruptly stood and turned to the window behind him, folding his arms as he contemplated what Pete had said.

"Are you telling me the truth?" he asked calmly but menacingly, as he continued to stare out the window.

"What, yes" Pete said thickly, convincingly. "Why would I not tell you the truth?" Besides his previous reasons for withholding his discovery, Pete really saw no point in letting the man know what he'd found out now. Considering Marita had moved to Michigan. And though Sean was obviously affected by the move, being more subdued and serious than he'd ever seen him, Pete was certain that the relationship was over.

"I don't know, you tell me" Asa said as he turned from the window and stared Pete in the eyes "You seem to think Sean Logan is a saint." He continued, remembering how Pete often defended Sean and how he'd unsuccessfully tried to get Asa to abandon his quest to destroy him.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Pete countered "Sean Logan is anything but a saint. He broke your daughter's heart didn't he? But he doesn't have any earth shattering secrets. At least none that I could find, that's what I've been trying to tell you for the past 4 months."

Asa studied Pete for a moment, still not convinced of his claims. He then turned back to face the window. "Well I'm still not going letting this go" He said vengefully "One way or another, truth or lie, Sean Logan is going to pay."

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Sean sat staring at the open land before him watching as the setting sun gradually turned the beautiful greenery into a landscape of blackness. In the past, he would've hated to lose the loveliness of the light, but now he welcomed the obscurity. Still trying to shut out what he'd learned earlier about Marita's new life, he was hoping the darkness would help. After dinner, the family had barely risen from the table when he'd stated that he would not be joining them in the parlor for their evening ritual of tea and talk. With Isaac joining them, the conversation would no doubt include more talk of Cholena, and Sean could not garner the strength to sit through another discussion about Marita. As great of a job he'd been doing at suppressing his feelings, his resolve had begun to crack. And if he remained there any longer he was certain to drown or explode. So, he'd chosen solitude. Continuing to stare ahead at what had now become darkness, Sean forced his mind to abandon any thoughts of Marita. He sighed aloud, struggling to maintain the numbness he'd fostered around his emotions, and to curb the pain that was threatening to overtake it.

"I thought I'd find you out here." a voice said

Sean looked over and saw Jeremy stepping out of the shadows.

"What are you doing here?" he asked sternly

"I wanted to make sure you're okay." Jeremy replied cautiously "I know that it wasn't easy listening to Isaac talk about Marita."

Sean sat there a moment, fighting to extinguish the pain that was now erupting through his soul.

"Well it wasn't pleasant" he finally stated "But I'll manage"

"You sure about that?" Jeremy pushed as he walked closer "Cause to me… you seem as if you're…pushing this away, instead of...instead of facing it."

The anguish that had sprung from Jeremy's earlier comments quickly turned to immense anger. Sean resented the fact that Jeremy had managed to awaken the hurt he'd worked so hard at repressing and was now trying to tell him how he was dealing with it.

"You better go" he said coldly, restraining a response that would later be unforgivable.

Jeremy didn't move. Though he knew he'd crossed the line with his comments, he knew it was more important to try and help Sean. And the only way he knew to do that was to try and get him to be honest about his feelings.

"Go!" Sean yelled when he saw that Jeremy wasn't leaving

"Alright" Jeremy resigned, seeing that Sean wasn't ready to deal. "I'll go, but Sean if you still love her, which I know that you do, don't turn away from that love. Go after her, otherwise you'll regret it."

Sean continued to stare forward, giving Jeremy no indication that he'd struck a cord with his last statement. When the boy finally turned and walked away, he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Jeremy had no idea how much he loved Marita, he thought, how much he wanted to go after her. In fact, he had gone after her, but he was too late, and even if he'd managed to catch her, it would've been pointless. After all, the letter he'd written her had obviously made no difference. For even after reading it, she'd made it clear in her letter that no matter what he did, no matter how much he gave up, she didn't believe they could have a future together. So there was no point in him embracing the love. For it would never ease his soul. It would never grant him his desire. It would never grant him Marita.