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Chapter Fifteen

Marita walked through the small grocery, scanning the aisles for strawberries. Though she loved the beauty and homeliness of Cholena, growing her own fruits was one thing the town had yet to offer her. Back home, she only visited the grocery for flour and toiletries, never for fruit and vegetables. But here, the market was an essential part of life, and therefore she had learned to accept it. There were a lot of things she'd been forced to accept upon arriving in Cholena, one being that for the first time in her life she was completely on her own, and that scared her, made her miss home, miss Sean even more. Sean…the name seemed to echo in her mind, through her heart. She wondered if he was surviving and prayed that he was well. She wanted so much to write to him, to ask him how he was, to tell him of her new job and experiences, but she found that she couldn't; the pain was too near, and she feared that any words she wrote him would only serve to deepen the hurt she'd already inflicted upon him. Finally finding the fruit she'd been looking for, but still deep in thought, Marita went to grab a small crate of strawberries and found that another hand was in the way.

"Oh I'm sorry" she said, quickly pulling her hand back

"It's okay." The gentleman said as he picked up the small crate and turned to hand it to Marita "Miss. Peters" he said surprised

"Mr. Holmes" Marita said, startled to see the man before her. "I'm surprised to see you here." She admitted.

"While being a banker has it's perks, it doesn't include the basic necessities for life" he smiled

"I know" Marita said returning his smile "I just thought…"

"That I'd have a servant for such tasks?"

"Something like that"

"Not so" He corrected with a broader smile as he handed her the strawberries.

"Thank you" Marita said as she took the fruit from his hand and placed it in the basket she was carrying. When she returned her attention to Mr. Holmes, she found that his eyes were intensely locked upon her. Locked in a gaze she knew well. For Sean had given her that look a million times. But when he gazed upon her that way it was as if he was looking into her very soul, unleashing an incredible passion that almost always overwhelmed her. And though Mr. Holmes was an attractive, successful man of her own ethnicity, a man whom her father admired, he failed to touch her heart in the way in which only Sean could.

"It was nice seeing you again." She said breaking the awkward mood, then turning to go.

"Wait!" Mr. Holmes asserted

Marita stopped and reluctantly turned back to face him.

"May I call upon you sometime? That's if you're not already spoken for." He corrected nervously

Marita's discomfort increased. Though Mr. Holmes seemed like a nice man, she couldn't fathom the thought of ever allowing him or anyone else to call on her. Sean was the only man for her and if they couldn't be together, then she was resolved to living her life alone – without companionship.

"I'm sorry" she answered "But that's not possible." Marita could tell by the look on the gentleman's face that he was surprised by her answer and wanted to question her rejection, but he respectfully chose not to. Instead, choosing to end their encounter with a pleasant remark, then turning and walking away.

"""""""""""""

Jeremy lay beneath the tree, closely watching as the child slept peacefully beside him. It was amazing when he thought of how much of her mother's likeness she already had, from her gentle heart to her stubborn mind, she was everything Anna was. "Oh Anna" he sighed quietly as he lightly touched the child's cheek "I wish you were here to see our daughter grow." But she wasn't he thought painfully as he moved his hand to his daughter's back. And now it was his responsibility as it had always been to take care of her. He didn't like using Lucy, the Chambers' servant whom he had been privately courting, but getting close to her was the only way he knew to gain access to his daughter without raising suspicion.

"Jacob" a voice called "Jacob!"

Jeremy nearly failed to register the call, forgetting for a moment that Jacob was the name Lucy knew him by, but eventually it clicked and he turned his attention to the approaching girl.

"Shhh" he whispered fiercely as she came upon him and the sleeping child "You're going to wake Danielle."

"Ah Danielle, Danielle" she said as she flopped down on the blanket next to him "Sometimes I swear you care more for her than you do me."

"Not true" Jeremy said with a charming smile "But she does require more attention, being a child and all."

The young lady gave him a skeptical look that was etched with humor.

"So when are you going to take me out, away from this dreadful place?" she asked "you've never taken me anywhere and you've been promising me an outing for months."

"I'm still saving money for that" Jeremy lied "You know that when I take you out I want it to be some place nice."

"Tsk" the girl sighed with slight frustration as she lay back on the blanket, staring up at the sky.

Jeremy leaned over her and lightly kissed her on the forehead. "Soon Lucy, I promise" he said. The girl didn't utter a sound, but he could tell by the look that now graced her face that he had again won her over. He then turned onto his back, joining her in staring at the cloudless sky. Though Lucy was a sweet girl, Jeremy would never go beyond the Chambers estate with her and she would never know his real name. It was too risky. For when he leaves Lexington, he wants no known connection to her or the Chambers, and more importantly he could not have her tying him to the Logans. No one could know that Danielle was his daughter and that she'd been taken by him, her father.

"""""""""""""

Shaken by the intense lightning and sporadic thunder, Marita waited patiently, on the porch of the grocery, for the heavy rain to cease from falling out of the gray skies. Gradually, she was taken back to a time with Sean, a time when they were caught in a storm just like the one she was now witnessing. It was a few years earlier, and they'd been out at the pond, lazing around under the trees and playing in the water, when the storm seemed to come out of nowhere. Knowing that it was dangerous to be around trees and near water during such an event, Sean had grabbed her hand and they'd quickly ran to his horse. But by the time they mounted the steed and began to ride, the sky had opened above them, drenching them with rain, and the lightning had become more fierce, erupting constantly around them. Motivated by her tightened grip and the need to find immediate shelter, Sean had increased his speed, crossing the open land in record time. Within seconds their safe haven was within view, an old barn in the east pasture, but as they quickly rode towards it, silently sighing with relief, a bolt of lightning descended from the sky, striking the ground before them and spooking their horse into a frenzy. They were both instantly thrown off, Sean going one way, she going another, and the horse frantically running back in the direction from which they'd come. Breathless, due to the wind being knocked from her lungs, she lay on the ground trying desperately to breathe, while struggling to overcome the endless rain that felt like it would drown her, when suddenly Sean came upon her, fearfully asking if she was okay. When she finally answered, after regaining her function to breath, he instantly helped her from the ground, briefly pulling her into a firm embrace. Then grasping her hand tightly, he led her into a sprint towards the old barn. Once safely inside, bolted behind the doors of the building, Sean immediately turned his attention to her, calmly taking her in his arms, softly whispering that everything was going to be okay and that he would never allow anything to happen to her. The soothing tone of his voice and the gentleness of his touch gradually quieted her fears, calmed her trembling, and though he was just as soaked as she, there was a warmth that emanated from him, circling around her, embracing her soul. At that very moment, she realized that she loved Sean. And she felt that he loved her too. For the look that smoldered in his eyes, and the way that he touched her face, conveyed a deep longing and a passion she'd never witnessed before that moment. And though she could tell that he wanted to taste her lips, for she could feel his breath so close to commencing a kiss, he restrained himself, choosing instead to rest them gently, lovingly, above her brow.

Marita lightly closed her eyes as she remembered that moment from the past, her heart aching to feel Sean's arms around her, to hear him whisper sweet comforts to her soul.

"Miss Peters" a voice said, breaking through her reverie "Miss Peters."

Marita opened her eyes and turned to see Mr. Holmes walking towards her.

"The rain has stopped" he continued once he finally reached her "If you'd like I can assist you to your carriage?"

"Thank you" Marita answered distractedly, still stirred by her memories of Sean "But I'll be fine." She finished, then swiftly exited the porch, leaving behind a befuddled Mr. Holmes.

""""""""""""""

"We've already informed you Mr. Logan that if you proceed with your plans to make this hospital a place in which Negroes can get service we'll no longer contribute monies to the hospital fund."

"Well I can't stop you from doing what you feel you need to do." Sean said sharply "If you're going to withdraw any further contributions then so be it. Because I'm not backing down on my objective to have this facility serve all walks of life."

"Well I guess that settles it" one of the contributors responded tightly

"No that does not settle it." Clancy interjected firmly "You gentlemen have already stated publicly that you would be contributing funds to the hospital. If you back out now, how will that look to your consumers, especially your Negro consumers. You're all smart business men. Do you really want to risk getting negative attention over this, as well as a possible loss of business?"

"Clancy's right" one of the gentlemen said "We can't be labeled negatively. It could hurt business."

"He may be right, but that still doesn't change the fact that this facility will not be successful if it is used as a ..."

"I've heard enough of this hypocrisy!" Sean interjected angrily "Minorities build your homes, your businesses, your hospitals and schools, but you don't want them to benefit from the healthcare or education they provide? You're all insular, and your supremacy complex sickens me! I'm done with this!" He finished heatedly, then got up from the table and stormed out of room, leaving Clancy and the contributors stunned.

A few moments later a furious Clancy joined Sean outside on the front stoop of the building in which they'd been meeting.

"What in God's name was that?" Clancy asked angrily "Are you trying to make us lose funding for the hospital?"

"I'm trying to do what's right!" Sean retorted as he stepped off the stoop, proceeding down the street with Clancy following "If minorities are going to help build that hospital then they should be permitted to receive care there."

"Sean you can't be serious" Clancy countered "You know that is not the way things are done."

"Maybe not in the past, but that's about to change."

Clancy stopped his trek, completely perplexed by Sean's stance. "What the hell's happened to you?" he asked as he grabbed Sean's arm, causing him to stop too. "You've been different these past few weeks, almost callous and distant and the behavior you just displayed in that meeting was…was deplorable... Are you having some problems I should know about?"

For an instant, the anger in Sean's heart was pierced by the hurt still prevalent due to Marita's departure. But he promptly pushed it away, successfully hardening his soul.

"I'm not having any problems." He said firmly "I'm just tired of people being shut out because of who they are. They deserve a real place in society like everyone else."

"I agree" Clancy said, finally starting to calm a bit now that he had some insight into Sean's plight. "But you're fighting a losing battle. Though a lot has changed, the people of Lexington would never embrace a hospital built to serve both whites and minorities. Even in the most liberal of places, they have separate facilities for whites and Negroes. You have to give this up." He finished

Sean stood there more furious than he thought was possible. Though he was angry about the situation with the hospital, his feelings were mainly being fueled by his futile desire for Marita.

"I can't" Sean said abruptly, responding more to the thoughts festering within him than to Clancy.

"Then I'll have no choice but to remove you from your position as Deputy Director."

"What?!"

"I don't want to have to do that because you're a fine young man who's done an outstanding job in this position, but I can't allow you to destroy the hospital project and the possibility of us getting funding for future projects because of your convictions."

"I…"

"Please don't answer me now." Clancy interjected "I know that you've already said that you can't give up your cause, but I want you to think hard before making that your final choice. I'd hate to lose you, but if I have to, I will dismiss you as Deputy Director."

Silence.

"I have to get back to the meeting with Contributors" Clancy continued slowly, solemnly as he studied Sean, concerned with the young man's mental state. "You stay away, and think about what I've said."

Sean didn't utter a word; he just stood there, searing with anger, and yearning. Clancy opened his mouth to say more but decided against it, reluctantly turning and heading back to the meeting, leaving Sean to ponder his future as Director, while he continuously fought the intense feelings that would eventually consume him.