Dead Ground

9

The Soldier

Duo was still standing near the window, forehead pressed against the glass, when Heero began to moan. Duo turned his head slightly and peered over at him. Duo's mouth turned down into a concerned frown. He wanted to go comfort Heero, but...

Heero's breathing became heavier and a tear slid out from under one of his eyelids. Duo closed his own eyes in frustration. He didn't know what he should do. Should he play it safe and do nothing, or should he risk everything and try to help?

Trowa you fucking bastard! Duo thought.

It was the soft whimpers that were the deciding factor for Duo. He felt too much like he was abandoning Heero in his time of need. Peeling his forehead away from the window, he made his way to the side of the bed. Duo stood there for a moment and watched him thoughtfully. Heero looked so small and frail, and Duo felt a wave of nauseating fear hit him. He really didn't want to know what was in the attic, not if it did this to Heero. Duo knew it was only a matter of time before they would need to go up there, and he didn't look forward to that at all.

Bringing his hand up to his chest, Duo could feel the cross he always wore beneath his shirt. He closed his eyes and silently asked for help with holding the fear at bay. Suddenly a peal of thunder sounded loud and ominous outside—making the windows shake a little. Duo cracked an eye open. Gee... thanks... that really helps... he thought sarcastically.

Sighing deeply, he sat on the bed next to Heero and whispered, "Shhhh." He hesitated momentarily before reaching out a shaking hand and smoothing back Heero's hair. The dark strands were damp with sweat, and grainy with dirt, making Duo wondered briefly what Heero's hair would feel like clean and dry.

Suddenly Heero's eyes fluttered open Duo froze. The two boys looked at each other, and Duo waited for the harsh words that were sure to come.

They never came.

Duo swallowed nervously and removed his hand from Heero's head, and when he did so, Heero moved his eyes away from Duo.

"Uh, Heero... you, ah... feeling any better?" Duo felt uncomfortable. He shifted and hastily said, "You were moaning and stuff so, ah, I was just trying to help. Don't be mad or anything okay?" The last came almost as a plea.

At Duo's hasty explanation, Heero swallowed and his eyebrows scrunched together. Duo didn't know what he'd done wrong, or what to do next. He wasn't used to seeing Heero wear his emotions like a shirt and it was incredibly disconcerting.

Deciding he had upset Heero, Duo began to stand. "Well, you probably want to be alone so you can get some more sleep, so I'll just—" He was cut off by Heero grabbing Duo's pant leg with a shaking hand.

"No! Please... don't leave me alone..." Heero's eyes were watery and had a pleading look in them. Confusion welled up inside of Duo and he moved his eyes away from Heero's cobalt-blue eyes. The grip on his pants loosened. When he looked back to Heero, his gaze was turned away.

Heero's grip continued to loosen until his hand let go of the fabric completely and the hand flopped onto the bed. "Go ahead and go, Duo. I... I understand. I wouldn't want to stay with me either."

Duo's eyes widened at Heero's whispered statement. Heero pulled his arms under the covers and pulled the blankets over his head. Duo continued to stand in stunned silence until he saw the blankets covering Heero begin to shake.

Pressing his lips together, Duo gathered all his courage and sat on the bed. His heart was pounding hard in his chest as he grabbed the blankets and pulled them off Heero's head. Duo felt a pain in his chest as he looked at the usually emotionless boy. Heero's hands were covering his face, and the boy's whole body shook with his silent sobs.

Duo carefully put his arms around Heero, mindfully of his wounds. Heero's body seemed to tense at the contact, but Duo didn't pull away.

"Heero," Duo whispered. "I'm not going to leave you. I promise."

"Why?" Heero sobbed. "You shouldn't have to put up with me being like this. I... I don't want you to see me like this..."

Again, Duo felt confused. Didn't Heero just tell him to stay? "Do you want me to leave?" Duo asked. Heero shook his head. "Okay then. I'm going to stay."

Heero didn't reply, so Duo continued to hold him and eventually he began to calm. After what seemed like a long time, Heero again asked, "Why?"

Duo lifted his head. "Why what?"

"Why don't you just leave? Why stay?"

Duo felt unsure of how he should answer. Now that he seemed to be getting close to Heero, he didn't want anything to jeopardize his chances. Telling Heero too much just might do that, but telling too little might dry up any opportunity he might have had. Duo sighed and put his hand over Heero's hands. Curving his fingers around Heero's fingers, Duo tried to pry the other pilot's hands from his face. Heero resisted at first, then gave up and let Duo pull his hands away from his eyes.

Heero began to turn his head away, but Duo put his hands on both sides of Heero's head. The braided boy looked deeply into Heero's red, swollen eyes. "I'm your friend," Duo said and tried to smile reassuringly. Heero moved his eyes away from Duo's and the American frowned. "Heero," Duo began. He thought he had an idea of why Heero was looking away and he meant to remedy it. "I know, we don't get along all the time." Boy is that the understatement of the year, Duo thought. "But I am your friend."

Heero was still looking away and Duo began to feel uncomfortably guilty. He now wished more than ever that he had apologized to Heero the night before, instead of fighting with him. Well, no time like the present, Duo thought.

"Heero," Duo began. "I... I'm sorry." Duo wasn't sure how to continue, and looked away. Way to go Duo. You've just won the award for the lamest apology ever, Duo thought.

"Why?"

Duo brought his eyes back to Heero, and saw genuine confusion in his eyes. Duo shook his head. He didn't think he would ever get use to seeing so much emotion played on Heero's face.

"About everything I guess... For fighting with you last night. About making fun of you and your laptop." Duo shrugged. "I dunno... just everything."

The pained look that crossed Heero's face confirmed Duo's suspicions that Heero had indeed been hurt by their unkind words. Suddenly, two thoughts hit Duo at once. The first was, Is this boy I'm seeing now, the real Heero? The one behind the mask? The second was, Where IS Heero's laptop?

Deciding to act on the second thought, he looked around. It wasn't anywhere in the room.

Turning back to Heero he said, "Speaking of your laptop, where is it?"

Heero's eyebrows knit together in confusion and his eyes searched the room. Suddenly his eyes widened and he looked back at Duo. Their eyes met for a moment before Heero looked up to the ceiling.

"In the attic?" Duo knew the answer, but being the master of obvious questions, he asked anyway. Heero looked back at Duo and nodded.

"Well then..." A pause, then, "I'll go get it for you." Heero's whole body tensed and he shook his head, eyes wide. "We have to go up there and inspect anyway." Duo hoped he sounded confident, because he sure didn't feel that way. He really didn't want to go into the attic, but he wanted to do something big to prove his friendship to Heero. Besides, they did need to go check the attic. He definitely wouldn't be able to sleep knowing there was something that had frightened Heero, of all people, on the loose.

Heero shook his head again and said, with terror in his voice, "No! Duo, no."

Duo opened his mouth to speak again when Heero cut him off. "They're up there!" he hissed. His eyes pleaded for Duo to understand.

"Who?"

"Them. All... of them."

Trowa threw himself against the wall of an old building. The sound of shouts and shooting filled the air. He pulled the large weapon he carried closer to his chest. The group he was currently fighting with was having more difficulty than they had anticipated.

He could hear the mobile suits in the distance, and knew their time in this place was limited. He heard the soldiers he was working with scrambling to find places to hide, or escape routes.

No.

Things definitely weren't going as planned. He moved his eyes around swiftly, trying to find a safe place to hide. It would be best if he laid low, as well, until the fight was over. One of his comrades came into sight and beckoned for Trowa to follow. Trowa took one more look around and ran towards the soldier.

"Come, boy. I know a good place to hide out."

Trowa said nothing, only looked at the man. The soldier grunted, as if he had expected such a response. Turning, the man ran down one of the alleyways, and Trowa followed... followed him for quite some time. The sounds of the battle seemed to grow more distant and he knew he should be feeling more confident in his chances for survival.

But he didn't.

He began to grow uneasy and he wasn't sure why. He had no reason not to trust the man. He had worked with him on several missions, and although he didn't associate with anyone very often, he knew the man well enough to know he wouldn't be led astray.

If this was so... why did he feel so...

He realized, before he bumped into the man, that the other soldier had stopped running. The man opened a large steel door and looked to Trowa.

"Well, boy, you first." The man waited expectantly. Trowa gazed into the darkness beyond the door. He could see nothing beyond the threshold. The uneasiness he had been feeling, grew into dread. He turned his gaze to the man.

He wrinkled his brow. "Why can't I remember this man's name?" he thought to himself. A loud booming noise came from behind him and he jumped.

"Come on, boy. You don't want to die do you? Just come in here and everything will be fine. You won't have to worry about anything anymore."

He felt tempted by the words and he felt himself drawn to the open door. The thought of not having to endure another day of not really knowing who he was, not having a name to call his own, was so enticing...

He took a step forward.

He wouldn't have to feel the hurt of being pushed away by the one he cared for the most in all the world...

Quatre...

He suddenly realized how close he had come to the door. He looked over to the man and saw greedy anticipation in his eyes. Trowa searched the man's eyes for fear; after all, they were in the middle of a battle, but he saw none.

Trowa pressed his lips together. He didn't want to not worry about Quatre. He needed Quatre. He needed to find out what was wrong with Quatre. He needed to protect Quatre.

Who is Quatre? The question flitted through his mind, and he realized he didn't know.

"This isn't right," he said finally.

The man looked perturbed and said, "What?"

"This isn't right." Trowa took a step back away from the inviting door. He felt so confused, everything felt so... wrong. "This never happened." The words tumbled out of his mouth, although he felt unsure of what they meant.

The man began to get angry and said, "Look, kid. If you don't get in here... You. Will. Die."

"No, I won't," Trowa said calmly, but still unsure.

The soldier smiled a greasy smile at him and said, "Oh... but you will." The man started to cackle and Trowa felt his gut tighten at the sound. The man's head cocked to one side, as if he were listening to something, then turned his attention back to Trowa. "We've changed our mind. We have other plans for you... Of course, you'll never escape this completely. You've come too close."

"Huh? We?" Trowa responded dumbly.

The man slammed the door shut and the sound seemed to reverberate through his soul. Trowa shivered involuntarily.

"Yes. We. I. It is all the same. We are one, and I am many."

Trowa felt a sudden need to be away from the man. He didn't know who the hell this was, or what the hell this was, but this wasn't the man he knew. The soldier advanced on him, but Trowa stood his ground. Not out of bravery, but because he couldn't get his body to respond. The man stopped inches away and peered deeply into Trowa's eyes.

"You, boy, are mine." The whispered words seemed to be the hissing of a snake. "Every one of you is mine." The man's eyes were laughing at him.

Every one of who? There is only me... he thought. Another thought came unbidden, and this one also made no sense, even thought he knew it should. No, there's five of us...

The man leered at Trowa. "We'll let you go back to your blond bitch for now. We know you want him. You should thank us. You have another chance to screw his brains out." The soldier's laugher was obscene in Trowa's ears. "Such a vulnerable boy he is. His mind is so easy to fuck around with. You should try it sometime."

Trowa's mind continued to talk to itself, and none of it made any sense to Trowa. "Who?" "Quatre!" "Who's Quatre?"

Trowa opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't. The revulsion he felt at being so close to this man, this... thing... was indescribable. There may have been a man in front of him, but he knew his eyes were deceiving him. This was no man. It was something wrong...

Something evil.

The thing's eyes looked past him and Trowa turned around, afraid of something worse behind him. He felt—as much as his eyes told him—the world shift. A sandy breeze hit him and he was surprised to see sand, rocks...

...and the cabin.